Not a Cuckold, but Thought I'd Share My Situation

[drstrangelove]

You have been married 10 years and she was promiscuous before that and she has recently gone a year with almost no sex. If you want to be a cuckold then keep going the way you are. However you could lose her if she is having sex with others and not telling you. It would be surprising if she hasn't had at least a few one timers since you have been married or maybe could have a steady guy now. I think its time you checked a few things just so you know that things are the way you think they are. With your sex life the way it is I think its a real achievement that you guys had your last child. I would think a DNA test would take any doubt away, that you are the paternal father, not that there is a problem if you are not. Has she seen a doctor to ask why her libido is so low. There are a number of things I would be looking into. If you are not a cuck then I don't think you have a healthy sex life.

Fair points, but I don't think it hits home in this case. She was extremely promiscuous before we met (and while we were first seeing each other), but a lot of it had to do with low self-esteem, a distant family life at the time (she went far away for college) and a look for validation. Once her life started to fall into place a bit, her libido died down significantly, and just through some obvious observation, we both know there's a correlation with birth control pills. Our sex life was actually really really high while we were looking to have kids -- she was off birth control and things were fine. It was for a time between the kids and now in the last few months where she has noticed she's lost her sex drive. And to be fair, a lot of it has to do with dealing with a 3yr old and an infant on top of a demanding full time job.

I think the oral play focused sex life we've flirted with on and off over the last few years has been fun for both of us, and just recently, I've seen it has seemed to spark a bit on occasion. It'll be interesting to see how it plays out now that she's off the pill again as well. I think a big part of it is she simply enjoys getting head more than intercourse as it leads to a definitive orgasm. She tends to enjoy sex after she's already cum, but it's a cherry on top that I've gotten the sense she felt was more so owed to me than anything else. So in freeing her from that guilt, she's having fun exploring her sexuality.

I should also note, even though she was sleeping with dozens of different guys in college, she's not really in tune with her sexuality. She had never orgasmed with any of them and she, to this day, has still never masterbated on her own to get off -- she has masterbated a bit in front of me for fun, but very rarely. It's strange, but she's a bit of a paradox sexually...she's very shy and vanilla, but comes from a very experienced past.

As for cheating, we both strayed a bit early on in the relationship and came clear years later, but neither of us have done anything over the last 10 years or so. We're both kind of home bodies, none of us go with friends for bar nights, etc. We both work and are home by 6 every day, leading very vanilla lives. FWIW, we both have extreme confidence in each other that we're faithful.

[drstrangelove]

Seems like you have a good understanding of where you two are.

I'd lose the birth control pills.

Look forward to your updates regardless of how frequent or not they may be.

With her period over, she's now officially off birth control again. That's going to be another factor that limits sex for us during most of the month.

Have you tried any other form of BC

She's used 2-3 different brands over the years, but her sex drive has always seemed to take a hit.

[OZCPL]

As for cheating, we both strayed a bit early on in the relationship and came clear years later, but neither of us have done anything over the last 10 years or so. We're both kind of home bodies, none of us go with friends for bar nights, etc. We both work and are home by 6 every day, leading very vanilla lives. FWIW, we both have extreme confidence in each other that we're faithful.

Sounds like you are both hard working responsible people and maybe it has been good for your marriage and family that you both strayed a little when it was still early days. Maybe a bar night, and a bit of fun, once in a while would be good for both of you. Good luck you both deserve it.

[drstrangelove]

So thought I’d give a brief update. We played again right after my last update, the first time me going down on her and coming in my boxers. It was a really hot session. It started out with me sucking on her nipples and rubbing and fingering her pussy for 15~ minutes. She got really worked up and incredibly wet, to which I commented on and she replied: “Well why don’t you get down there and lick it all up?” She came pretty quick all over my face and I held off coming at first. But she was still rolling high after her orgasm and I kept eating and she told me she wanted me to cum, so I squirted in my boxers.

Then the next night I tried to initiate sex, but she said she was a bit sore (from the finger fucking the night before) so she gave me a handjob. I was a bit pathetic and begged to let me fuck her, but she declined. But she rolled a bit under me and was letting me fuck her hand. I then asked if I could at least take off her panties and pretend to fuck her properly, to which she smiled and removed them. I positioned myself over her missionary style and she held her hand right above her pussy and I grabbed her legs and hips and fucked her hand until I came all over her.

I thanked her, to which she replied: “mmm, kinky enough for you?”

So yea, two good sessions. Unfortunately, I had to have a nasal procedure done yesterday, so I’m recovering and playtime likely isn’t on the immediate horizon.

[Rogueuser1]

Wow hot threat - thanks for the update and I hope you heal up soon!

[drstrangelove]

So kind of a big update.

For the past week or so I’ve been recovering from my nasal surgery and my wife has had a cold, so we have not spent much time together and she’s actually been sleeping downstairs as she’s been going off to work and I’ve been sleeping in upstairs.

Last night we both started to feel a bit better, but thought we’d do one more night to be sure because she still had a slight stuffy nose. So I went up, took an ambien and tried to sleep, but 30 minutes later I was still wide awake.

So I decided to text her to see what she was up to and she told me she was just watching Game of Thrones (she started rewatching it again last week with me going to bed so early every night). I then just asked her if she wanted some head, and even offered to do it while she watched her show. About 30 sec later I heard her coming up the stairs.

So she came in and was really sweet and instead offered to give me head because she felt so bad about my recovery and didn’t think I should risk trying to do anything. She got into bed and we started chatting. I told her I had been thinking of our sex life a lot the last week and still felt like she wasn’t being totally honest and that she felt stress and guilt about having sex. I suggested we just take sex off the table for a short period of time, to which she replied: “sure,” before I even finished the sentence.

I said let’s just pick a date and agree not to have sex until then, that way for now, she doesn’t have to worry about sex, which I said I knew often hurt her and left her sore. That way maybe she would be more open to fooling around/initiating if she knew it wouldn’t lead to sex. She just said, “that’s true.” (And honestly, I was a bit surprised how quickly she just flatly admitted sex with me was so bad she actively stresses about having it.)

I also said it will prevent that awkwardness when I don’t cum while eating her out because I think she might want sex, to which she immediately responded: “Oh yea, that’s true too.”

So then I said now let’s just pick a date. So she said “are you sure? We could just wing it,” so I responded that “I think we are better off officially taking it off the table so you don’t have it in the back of your head stressing you out.” She just said, “ok, that makes sense.”

I said, “Obviously we already go a month or so without sex and it’s no big deal...what about my birthday, April 11?” My wife just responded, “sure, works for me.” I asked if she thought she could go two months without sex and be ok, and she just laughed it off and said she was surprised I picked a date so far away, but it’s good with her.

What I noticed next was fairly starteling — I just saw her whole body melt away, tension leave, she laid back a bit on the pillows and exhaled. I just saw weight off her shoulders like I never would have imagined. I then reached out and just started to caress her a bit, started by sucking her tits as usual and a few minutes later took off her pants and worked my way down.

Now I had already jerked off earlier in the day, and I was on meds, so I figured there was a decent chance I couldn’t cum. And after just 3-4 minutes of licking her she leaned up and said “I’m not gonna last,” and was really getting into it. She came hard 30 seconds later and asked if I came — I told her I was fine, but also got the sense she wasn’t done yet (we also hadn’t played in over a week so she was likely extra horny).

I began eating her out again, and licked her to a small orgasm and then another big orgasm, which clearly ended the session (I can tell when she sits up and has the appearance of being done). She again asked if I came, but I told her I handnt but was ok with it and had fun. She offered to let me cum on her, but I told her I knew she didn’t like that and I was honesty fine. She said ok and hoped out of bed to go to the restroom.

Now, despite what I said, I was horny as hell and really close to cuming, so I thought I had a couple of minutes, so as soon as she was out of sight I started jerking off. She came back almost right away though and saw me and said, “aww babe, why don’t you just cum on me quick?” I just said, “no, it’s ok, but maybe you could just jerk me off quick onto my chest?” So she jumped in next to me and started jerking me. I only lasted less than two minutes and she saw I was about to cum and quickly caught it with her mouth (and then ran to spit it — she only swallows in heat of moment while she is horny.)

She then came back and just said happily, “ok, good night, babe,” and went downstairs.

And there we are. Hopefully I captured everything, but this is kind of big news moving forward. Im gonna have to see how this plays out, but with sex off the table, it’ll be interesting to see how she approaches our sex life. I’m now wondering if I should still be as aggressive in seeking to go down on her or if I should play it a bit more cool to see if she now looks to initiate. I’ll take it one day at a time though, but I’m open for any feedback on how I should handle things before April.

[trdd]

Your story continues to interest me.... as I am not a cuckold and even though the idea can be a turn on the reality probably isn't for me or my wife. But denial dynamics are part of the turn on so your story is of interest.

At this point I have a few more questions for you. What do you hope to get out of this period between now and your birthday? What would the ideal scenario develop into for you? And would you be willing to share your aspiration with your wife at some point during this time?

My other primary question is one that has continued to nag at me as I pop into your thread. Perhaps some of it has been answered but it seems like the underlying motivation for your wife is still unknown. Is it that penetration is painful for her? Or she just finds it distasteful? Or do you think, for some reason, it is just penetration with you that she is trying to avoid? I apologize if you've gotten into this a little bit before and I don't remember but have you asked her any of these questions and gotten her to speak about it?

I do find the contrast between your relationship and mine interesting too. Although I have performed oral sex for my wife many many times she often feels a bit uncomfortable with it. Not in a physical way, LOL, but it is clearly psychological. I have made her orgasm through oral sex and she enjoys it but as typical foreplay she is often just slightly uncomfortable with me being down there. She doesn't really know why it just makes her a little uncomfortable. Now if she's had a lot to drink she's less uncomfortable with it, lesson inhibited. But the norm, if there is a norm in our sex life, would be that every other time or so I will warm her up orally and she will pull me up to come inside her. She clearly has a preference for penetration and has stated it many times to me.

Another interesting Dynamic with this is that we do play with bondage fairly often. When we do we switch roles as to who is on top. If I am helpless and often blindfolded as well she enjoys getting on top of me and demanding oral. She will often already be very very wet by the time that happens. A cool development is that we were looking at some porn recently and she expressed an interest with video of the woman in control. So I brought up a video that showed a woman teasing and denying a man with an eventual ruined orgasm. So that night she was on top I was helpless but she couldn't bring herself to give me a ruined orgasm, which was fine LOL, but I hope she gets more confident with that moving forward. But that night she demanded oral and ended up orgasming without me inside of her. In the end she took pity and I was able to come inside of her and finish.

[DonaldElliott11]

Like many readers, I follow a story like yours hoping that it will align well with my own kinks and preferences. I'm aware, however, that this is you and your life, so what I will say next might have no appeal to you.

You've simply got to ejaculate on her stomach and then lick it up. She's already indicated - sensibly - that your cum shots can be messy. Making you clean up your own mess might turn her on. It will also ratchet up the element, already mentioned, that you are her bitch.

As to the "fact" that "all men think about this but no man ever follows through after their orgasm", that's simply not true. And the licking scenario lets you start slow - first time, it you think you won't like it, just take one little sip while remembering that all of this, everything you are doing and not doing, is for her.

Separate comment - I'm kind of stunned that you haven't mentioned eating her out AFTER giving her one of your not-so-thrilling fucks. Are you really not eating creampies ever? Surely she would LOVE that....

[raoulduke]

I know you said she became uncomfortable with talking about her past exploits, but have you considered telling her about your interest in cuckolding? It might open things up between you two, just for you to state your interest as something that turns you on.

[drstrangelove]

Your story continues to interest me.... as I am not a cuckold and even though the idea can be a turn on the reality probably isn't for me or my wife. But denial dynamics are part of the turn on so your story is of interest.

At this point I have a few more questions for you. What do you hope to get out of this period between now and your birthday? What would the ideal scenario develop into for you? And would you be willing to share your aspiration with your wife at some point during this time?

My other primary question is one that has continued to nag at me as I pop into your thread. Perhaps some of it has been answered but it seems like the underlying motivation for your wife is still unknown. Is it that penetration is painful for her? Or she just finds it distasteful? Or do you think, for some reason, it is just penetration with you that she is trying to avoid? I apologize if you've gotten into this a little bit before and I don't remember but have you asked her any of these questions and gotten her to speak about it?

I do find the contrast between your relationship and mine interesting too. Although I have performed oral sex for my wife many many times she often feels a bit uncomfortable with it. Not in a physical way, LOL, but it is clearly psychological. I have made her orgasm through oral sex and she enjoys it but as typical foreplay she is often just slightly uncomfortable with me being down there. She doesn't really know why it just makes her a little uncomfortable. Now if she's had a lot to drink she's less uncomfortable with it, lesson inhibited. But the norm, if there is a norm in our sex life, would be that every other time or so I will warm her up orally and she will pull me up to come inside her. She clearly has a preference for penetration and has stated it many times to me.

Another interesting Dynamic with this is that we do play with bondage fairly often. When we do we switch roles as to who is on top. If I am helpless and often blindfolded as well she enjoys getting on top of me and demanding oral. She will often already be very very wet by the time that happens. A cool development is that we were looking at some porn recently and she expressed an interest with video of the woman in control. So I brought up a video that showed a woman teasing and denying a man with an eventual ruined orgasm. So that night she was on top I was helpless but she couldn't bring herself to give me a ruined orgasm, which was fine LOL, but I hope she gets more confident with that moving forward. But that night she demanded oral and ended up orgasming without me inside of her. In the end she took pity and I was able to come inside of her and finish.

All good questions. So I don’t really have a great plan here to be honest. I brought up the idea of taking sex off the table for two reasons: one, the denial aspect turns me on (and it’s not like we are having frequent sex anyway, so it’s almost semantical, but psychologically, I find it hot); two, I was curious to see her reaction to such a proposal. I suppose that’s the part of this thst is fantasy vs. reality — the fantasy is that she’d say: “Great, but can’t we make it longer!” — the reality I was expecting was for her to respond as if she felt bad for her lack of interest in sex forcing it to take it this far. I feel like earlier in our relationship, she absolutely would have been opposed to it, thinking it meant I might go and cheat on her or whatever.

So once I said it and she responded favorably, I kind of feel like I entered uncharted waters. Now that it’s happened, I’m wondering how I should try and steer it to play out, for whatever part of it I can control. Are there things I can try or push in the next two months to expand our sex life with sex not an option? I had mentioned earlier the idea of pegging, etc., but my gut tells me that is too extremme for right now and I don’t want to get out ahead of my skis. At the same time, I also could be surprised by how far my wife is willing for this to go and I don’t want to miss an opportunity.

And then as for my birthday, I’m very curious to see how they night will play out and how or if I should reference it at all for now. Meaning, do I keep alluding to the fact that sex isn’t an option for me right now and how desperate I want it or just completely ignore it and go about our sex life without mentioning it. I’d prefer to do the former, but I’m worried the fantasy could crumble a bit if she doesn’t play along — she could just say, “well we don’t have to wait, let’s just have sex.” Because I’m the one who suggested it, I don’t want to put her in a position of thinking she’s the bad guy and hurting me or our relationship. And as for that night itself, I’m also wondering if she’ll try to push “the game” at all. She has very often throughout our sex life tried to get me to cum early when she knows I want sex — she’ll extend foreplay to make me cum (usually in her mouth), essentially denying me her pussy for the night. She’s always enjoyed doing that, in part because she can tell I enjoy it and also in part because she’ll enjoy me working on her clit with my fingers while I’m in her mouth more than she enjoys penetration. I’m wondering if it might happen that night as it will probably include lingerie and foreplay. I’m also wondering if I should let it happen, meaning I’ll be so worked up, it would not be hard to withhold self control and cum early if I don’t actively try not to. Which then also begs the question, perhaps I should suggest a new “no sex period” before we get to thst night, so if I do cum before sex, I’d then be forced to wait another few months for the opportunity again. I’m intrigued to see how far I could push this and it is hot to think we might end up having even less sex in 2019 than we did in 2018.

You also asked about my wife’s mindset, and for that, I’m only guessing. I think it’s clear she enjoys my fingers or tongue more than intercourse, but it’s definitely more than that. I guess the fantasy is that she thinks I’m bad at sex perhaps, but I genuinely don’t think that’s the case. It honestly could be as simple as her being fearful of UTIs, which she is. Whenever we have been in periods of frequent sex historically, she will get a UTI, and she hasn’t gotten any in a long time, let alone multiple ones like she would. She hates them and it could just be that she has realized avoiding sex prevents them, so as long as I’m happy not having sex, it’s a win-win for her.

And lastly, as for bringing up any of this in a more direct way with my wife, those conversations typically don’t go well. Bringing in your situation, she is not like your wife in thst she is not openly into any sexual kinks. She doesn’t masterbate or watch porn. Again, the fantasy is that she’s having regular lovers behind my back, but I’m fairly confident that’s not the case — the reality is she is just focused on being a mom and a good wife and looks at sex as a side game, unlike me, where it’s an obsession.

[drstrangelove]

Like many readers, I follow a story like yours hoping that it will align well with my own kinks and preferences. I'm aware, however, that this is you and your life, so what I will say next might have no appeal to you.

You've simply got to ejaculate on her stomach and then lick it up. She's already indicated - sensibly - that your cum shots can be messy. Making you clean up your own mess might turn her on. It will also ratchet up the element, already mentioned, that you are her bitch.

As to the "fact" that "all men think about this but no man ever follows through after their orgasm", that's simply not true. And the licking scenario lets you start slow - first time, it you think you won't like it, just take one little sip while remembering that all of this, everything you are doing and not doing, is for her.

Separate comment - I'm kind of stunned that you haven't mentioned eating her out AFTER giving her one of your not-so-thrilling fucks. Are you really not eating creampies ever? Surely she would LOVE that....

So yea, that’s definitely a fantasy of mine too and I’ve never quite been able to cross that bridge. I feel like the only way I would go through with it is if I have her buy-in on it beforehand, perhaps telling her that I know she hates the mess, but I’d love to pretend to fuck her tonight and cum on her stomach, and I’d eat it up afterward to save her from having to deal with it.

For what it’s worth, several years ago, early in our relationship, we were both drunk after a wedding and I mentioned wanted to eat her out after I came inside her, she just said, “uhh, we’ll see about that,” and looked at me like I was a weirdo. She also was way too drunk and passed out before we even had sex that night. It kind of killed it for me. But we were in our mid-20s and in a very different place in our sex life. I suspect now she likely wouldn’t be opposed to it, even though she still might look st me strange. Again, I guess I’m just hesitant to take thst leap, as I feel like it is a big game changer. I do agree that this time period is an ideal time to try it and I should probably just pulll the trigger.

As for eating her out during sex, I’ve done that before, but never after I’ve cum, it’s always been in the middle of sex.

[drstrangelove]

I know you said she became uncomfortable with talking about her past exploits, but have you considered telling her about your interest in cuckolding? It might open things up between you two, just for you to state your interest as something that turns you on.

I’ve certainly thought about it. I’d probably approach it by seeing if I could get her to have cyber sex online or use Tinder to chat with guys. My gut tells me it’s not the right time though. For one, I think she has 0.0 interest in doing that, so it would be entirely for my benefit. Also, I think it might push her away from me instead of opening her up — she might interpret it as me not caring about her, etc. I think it’s just too extreme of an idea for right now.

I would like to approach the topic of her past sex adventures again if I find the right moment. I loved hearing her sex stories so much. She was just such a complete slut the first two years of college, literally having sex with 2-3 new guys every month. She was so carefree and open sexuallly thst I find it so hot to remember her former self. The problem of course is that she doesn’t look back on it as a positive time in her life. She was down on herself and felt isolated with shitty friends. So forcing her to relive part of that time period for my benefit hasn’t led to positive experiences — it creates a negative vibe, not a fun and playful one.

[trdd]

And lastly, as for bringing up any of this in a more direct way with my wife, those conversations typically don’t go well. Bringing in your situation, she is not like your wife in thst she is not openly into any sexual kinks. She doesn’t masterbate or watch porn. Again, the fantasy is that she’s having regular lovers behind my back, but I’m fairly confident that’s not the case — the reality is she is just focused on being a mom and a good wife and looks at sex as a side game, unlike me, where it’s an obsession.

Thanks for the responses above.

I have been married a lot longer than you and can tell you that for many years we were completely vanilla. Good sex but eventually not as frequent as desired (that's still the case most of the time). Gradually I shared a kink or two. I had no reason to believe my wife had any desire to be kinky but she started to respond. Definitely in fits and starts but she responded. Now, it is clear she and I both are into bondage and dominance. There is still much to explore in that realm ... but it has been a life long turn on for me and yet only in the last few years have we shared this actively.

Once the gate opens it is easier to go deeper in and in different directions. My smart, socially conservative and vanilla wife is actually more than a bit kinky and some of the ideas that turn her on ... well, I wouldn't have guessed it for sure. No one would that works with her or knows her. If you've read the secret garden women's fantasy book... you'll realize fantasies lurk in every person. That was one tool I used to open the gate... i shared that book with her.

We`ve also done online fantasy couples surveys and now occasionally watch a little porn together or an edgy film. It is still a major work in progress but the gate is open for us. You can find a way to open yours....this explicit step you've just taken should be able to help. If you want more ideas to get her talking, let me know.

[raoulduke]

I know you said she became uncomfortable with talking about her past exploits, but have you considered telling her about your interest in cuckolding? It might open things up between you two, just for you to state your interest as something that turns you on.

I’ve certainly thought about it. I’d probably approach it by seeing if I could get her to have cyber sex online or use Tinder to chat with guys. My gut tells me it’s not the right time though. For one, I think she has 0.0 interest in doing that, so it would be entirely for my benefit. Also, I think it might push her away from me instead of opening her up — she might interpret it as me not caring about her, etc. I think it’s just too extreme of an idea for right now.

I would like to approach the topic of her past sex adventures again if I find the right moment. I loved hearing her sex stories so much. She was just such a complete slut the first two years of college, literally having sex with 2-3 new guys every month. She was so carefree and open sexuallly thst I find it so hot to remember her former self. The problem of course is that she doesn’t look back on it as a positive time in her life. She was down on herself and felt isolated with shitty friends. So forcing her to relive part of that time period for my benefit hasn’t led to positive experiences — it creates a negative vibe, not a fun and playful one.

I think I'd focus less on asking her to do anything out of her wheelhouse, and just put it on the table that it's something that excites you. It's actually probably best that you have no expectations of her whatsoever, no Tinder or anything. Just let her know that this is something that really turns you on, and that you want to be able to be open with her about your sexuality and not feel like you need to hide yourself from her. When she thinks of it as something that brings you together, that's where you have your "in". It needs to be about you opening up to her. If she reacts unfavorably, just tell her that you want to be open and honest with her, that's not something that she can begrudge you for.

[drstrangelove]

Ok, so major update. We fooled around on Friday and Saturday...a lot to cover, so I'll do my best to stick to the important stuff.

On Friday we started to fool around and I mentioned that I still couldn't believe I'd have to wait more than two months to fuck her again, and she just flatly responded, "you set the date and I told you I thought it was long -- we can discuss a different date, but tonight we have to be quick so I can go to bed."

So I started to suck on her nipples, but after about 30 seconds, she was like, "umm, be quick, remember...?" and she started to gently push my head down. I apologized and said I'll take the hint, haha. I started to eat her out and I took the plunge and looked up and said: "So one of my fantasies is to lick up my cum off you..." She just looked down disgusted and said: "That would be way too weird." So I think I just said something like: "it was just a fantasy, no big deal..." I then went back to work and she came hard fairly quickly and I came while doing it, but my penis slipped through the crack in my boxers and I came directly all over the sheets (which I've done before). She was unfazed at first and just got up to wash off quick, we got back into bed and she sternly said: "Aren't you going to get a towel for that?" So I did and we went to bed.

So then on Saturday, all through the day the night was playing in my head and I felt like the advice I have been getting in this thread is right and I needed to sit down with her, outside of the bedroom, and have a big talk about our sex life. I realized I had no idea what was driving anything she was doing or saying -- the idea of renegotiating the "sex ban" was confusing because I still don't even know entirely why she agreed to it, I'm only guessing -- but her willingness to just cave on it made me feel like she wasn't really playing the "game." And her sternness/meanness that is very common after giving her head seemed like more was behind it -- she only acts that way after a dominant bedroom situation and it seems very real, not playful. And lastly, her quick dismissal of the cum eating idea had me a bit dejected -- not eve because I really want to do it, more because she was so closed-minded about it.

Anyway, so after the kids went to bed, I poured us some wine and we sat on the couch. We ended up talking for nearly two hours -- and admittedly, I did most of the talking. I went through everything. My entire sexual past and what led me to develop my fetishes, we went through many of my fetishes, and I asked her about her perspective on all of it. As is typical when we talk on this topic, she wasn't very revealing and her bottomline is that unlike me, she said she just doesn't think about sex stuff during her day. She said she was going along with our current arrangement because "she really loves getting head," but she hadn't given it any depth of thought. Which, to be honest, seems almost unbelievable. I can't imagine getting to this point, having a husband suggest to his wife that they don't have sex for 2.5 months, and her just thinking, "oh, ok, cool, I get lots of head without any stress." She was adamant that it was just that simple for her though.

So I touched on a variety of fetishes we have brought up in the thread, in addition to the cum eating, I mentioned cuckolding, pegging and chastity. All of those were way too extreme for her and she was very much against them. But then in digging into the psychology of all of them, she's turned on by the idea of hot guys wanting to fuck her, she's turned on by being dominant and controlling in bed, she's turned on by being in control of my orgasms and denying me sex, and she likes the idea of not having to deal with my cum mess. It's just the applications of those suggested are too extreme. I mentioned an idea off-the-cuff about me wearing a condom when I eat her out, to which she just said: "Oh, that one's interesting."

My take away was that I could imagine all of those things working there way into our sex life at one point -- or at least some of them -- but they're probably far off. I'm going to need to introduce them in a more sanitized and practical way. Toys, devices and other people are off the table right now. As for the condom thing, I guess I could go out and buy some condoms -- it's kind of hot to think I'd have to wear a condom just to give my wife head as the only way for me to get off -- but it also might just be really stupid and lame. I think there's a chance I'd be doing it just for me, which really takes any of the fun out of it.

So I told her that this path we're on only works if she's on board with it and willing to have fun with it too. Be playful and teasing and more open-minded. I mentioned things I've wanted to do with her that she flatly refuses to do -- two examples were how I always ask for reverse cowgirl and for her to sit on my face and ride it to an orgasm, but she's not willing to do either thing (it's been several years since either). Her answer was that those stemmed from when she had bad knees years ago and didn't like to be on top (she ruined her knees running too much when she was younger). That seemed like complete bull shit to me, but I can't tell if she herself really doesn't know the reason.

We also discussed her "meanness" after me giving her head and she thinks its a subconscious thing, but again, I'm not entirely convinced. A part of me is wondering if she's just trying to play the role of a domm, but not sure how, so it's inconsistent and forced at times.

There's a lot more, but it's hard to cover such a long conversation in just a forum post. We ended up fooling around again, but because we had talked so long, she asked for a quickie again. I kept my jogging pants on when I went down on her to avoid another cum mishap and we both got off fairly quickly again.

No playtime today, but she did mention before bed that she was going to ride my face tomorrow, but she was tired and wanted to go to sleep tonight. So with that, it seems like she is trying, but there's probably more I can and should be doing to guide this along better. I just need to think of gentle, non-extreme things to do to hit on all the concepts that turn her on without going to over-the-top.

As always, feedback is appreciated!

[Cueit]

Your story starts off vary similar to my experience with my bride of 32 years and 5 Year girlfriend prior to our marriage.

We met when I was a teenager and she was in her twenties. I had had very limited sexual experience of the time, however I knew that eating pussy was very important to me.

I was dating a different girlfriend at the time when I met my bride. But when I made an attemt to go down on her I couldn't do it. Now I think she may have had a yeast infection; but then her smell was unbearable she was not a match for me.

When I met my future bride I could not believe her slender legs and small ass I wanted those legs wrapped around my face and soon we were dating. I was always so horny and on our first date I managed to get her top off and discovered yet my favorite feature of her slender body a completely flat chest. I had been so focused on my desire to get my face between her legs with my tongue exploring her clit, that I failed to notice she had no tits. My previous girlfriend had huge tits but I had never seen anything more beautiful than a flat chest and I was immediately sold.

I think by our third date I got the chance to go down on her it was Nirvana. We began dating seriously she would regularly come to see me on Thursdays where I would get a chance to go down on her she never went down on me but I was okay as long as I was eating her pussy and feeling her ass. We would never have intercourse as she said she was a virgin and was saving herself for marriage. It didn't take long by December approximately six months after we met with my hand on her ass I asked her to marry me. I knew then that I would never find a flatter girl with boyish hips and a very tasty pussy.

In November prior to our engagement I had been at a strip bar where I surprised myself by being extremely attracted to a beautiful black woman dancing on stage. When she displayed her ass to me I realize how beautiful it was. I would go often just to see her and to see her ass. One night while at the strip-club while fixated on Wendy's ass, I later learnt her real name, I had an epiphany it was spiritual. While looking at her beautiful ass hole, my tongue slipped out of my mouth unconsciously. I wanted my tongue on her ass I couldn't think of anything more wonderful. The guy sitting at the next table noticed this and was staring at me with a grin saying I know what you just did. I had no embarrassment and smiled back I knew my calling was to lick ass.

The next time I was with my fiance while going down on her I allow my tongue to slip down to her anus it was the most pleasant experience I had felt with my tongue. I immediately came in my pants. I was so nervous afterwards when she said you know that wasn't my pussy. While sitting there with cum in my shorts I responded that I knew it was her ass. She asked if I liked it I said yes then she lay down the ground rules. I was allowed to eat her pussy and I could eat her ass but once I started eating her ass because she pooped from their I was never allowed to go back and lick her pussy after my tongue have been in her ass. She didn't want to get an infection by me bringing fecal matter to her vagina after my tounge had been to her asshole. The next time sex was on the table and it came to eating her ass she turned over for me to make no mistake it was her asshole I was going to eat. It was then and is now my calling.

Now engaged my fiance was able to keep me completely satisfied by orally stimulating her pussy and then finishing in my pants while eating her ass. I of course during during our Five-Year Engagement did want to have intercourse. Again she said she was saving herself for marriage. But after several years we eventually did have intercourse it was fantastic she was on top and lowered herself on top of me I loved it.

I was told that that was an accident and that we still had to wait for marriage for intercourse besides your sex organ is your tongue.

She went on the pill for the wedding day and we would regularly have intercourse until after our children were born. She was worried about the long-term effects continue birth control pill usage and she doesn't like pills in general so after the children were born she did not go back on the pill and I was no longer allowed to cum inside her I had to use a condom or come in my pants eating her asshole.

So I think you can see from your situation that perhaps your wife simply doesn't want to get pregnant again and is quite happy to orgasm from your tongue. My bride really enjoys when I go down on her and she was completely right I prefer to go down on her and eat her ass. For me there is nothing more intimate except perhaps to eat a creampie left by someone else but alas I have yet to experience that.

Often when my bride it's not too interested in sex but wants me to have pleasure she suggest that I just lick her ass and cum in and some Kleenex. It never fails I always cum eating her asshole and to this day after 38 years, there is never a time when I wouldn't jump at the chance to have my tongue inside her ass.

[drstrangelove]

Another update, directly building on my last one.

So last night (Monday) I decided I would just play things passively and see what my wife did. We got into bed and she came really close and cuddled into me and we were chatting about various things (usually a sign I'd take to initiate things in a break in the convo). She would lightly kiss me and cuddle in deeper, but I didn't react. It just happened last night, so I'll just do my best to transcribe the convo as best I can:

Wife: So, do you want to play?

Me: Of course, I just wanted to give you some space. After our talk the other night, I realize you're certainly into our current sex life, but I want to make sure I'm not always pushing things. That way you can have the room to control things and be playful without always reacting to me.

Wife: That makes sense. You should go down on me.

Me: I thought you wanted to ride my face tonight?

Wife: Didn't we discuss that -- we were going to wait for your nose to heal a bit more not to risk anything (she's right, I had just forgotten that part).

Me: I'm sure it would be fine, but we can do whatever you want.

Wife: Good. Get down there.

*I lifted her shirt to start sucking her nipples*

Me: So I know we agreed to the no-sex thing, but literally all I've thought about the last two days is fucking you. There's no way I can go three months like this, it feels different knowing sex is off the table for the future than it is looking back and realizing months have passed.

Her: Too bad. You made the offer and I happily accepted it. You're not having sex before your birthday unless I decide I want it. And tonight, I want head.

Me: Yea, but when I suggested the no-sex thing, it was before you told me that you fantasize about fucking hot guys, babe.

Her: That's true, I do, but you're good at sucking on my tits and sucking on my pussy, aren't you?

Me: I guess so, you always seem to cum all over my face when I do.

Her: Mmhmm, and I might cum all over you tonight if you do a good job.

Me: Do you think I should get condoms to solve the clean up issue?

Her: I'm not sure.

Me: I don't know either. Maybe I could just pretend to fuck you after you get off? (when I hump her hand missionary.)

Her: No, it's too close to sex.

Me: That doesn't seem fair. Does this have to just be a quickie tonight?

Her: Feel free to mix it up however you'd like.

So I sucked on her left nipple for a few minutes and then moved up to my hands and knees between her legs to suck on her right, at which point she started jerking me off through my pants. I eventually moved down to take off her pants and work on her pussy. I went slow and really took my time. It was about 15 minutes before she had a small orgasm that I lapped up. But I didn't cum and I didn't miss a beat and kept going. I could tell she wanted more. She was getting absolutely soaked, and after another 10 minutes or so, she exploded in a massive orgasm and I sucked every drop down, gently lapping it up as she came down from the high.

Wife: Fuck that was good. Did you cum?

Me: I'm ok.

Wife: What?? How did you NOT cum? That was so good.

Me: I was just hoping I could keep going a little longer, but honestly, I'm good.

Wife: No, I want you to cum, come up here.

*I got a bit excited thinking that meant sex*

Me: We can have sex?

Wife: No, we are not having sex. I told you, it's not happening.

She then grabbed my dick with her hand positioned right over her gapping pussy and started to jerk it. Instinctively I started to hump it and my balls started to hit against her pussy, really turning her on (she made a comment of how good my balls felt). I then leaned more weight in and my dick began to slide on top of her slit, rubbing her clit with each thrust as her hand was positioned on top of my dick, pushing it down to add more friction. She was so completely soaked, it was sliding along effortlessly. It felt so fucking good and she had a small orgasm really quickly from my dick rubbing her clit and my balls hitting her pussy. I came right after, shooting all over her stomach and tits (probably 60-90 seconds total).

Afterward she was really chill and we went to the bathroom to clean up. She mentioned that my stubble really hurt her though and during her first orgasm, I cut her pussy, so it stung and really hurt. She didn't want to say anything to ruin the mood though. I apologized profusely (I really feel bad). I let her know that I'll make sure to be clean shaven every day so it doesn't happen again.

And that was it -- we went to bed. Looking back at the night, my head is kind of spinning. This all feels very real now. I doubt I got the transcript perfect, and I know it's hard to capture tone, but everything was really positive and she was very, very serious about not having sex. She never seemed annoyed with me asking, but I get the sense there really is no point. She's not going to budge. I guess this is where people tell me to be careful what I wish for. Though she did mention she'd have sex if SHE wanted it, which keeps the door open. Though if I'm being honest with myself, she enjoyed me rubbing her pussy with my dick as much or more than intercourse, but I wouldn't be opposed to that becoming a regular thing -- it definitely feels better than cuming in my pants and she had no issue with the cum on her chest last night.

Anyways, that's the update and I suspect playtime will be off the table for another day or two due to the stubble issue. My instinct on this now is just to see where this goes and give her the space to exhibit some control and direction for things.

[trdd]

Nice update! It seems like she has really started to come around to the idea of being in charge in the bed. It might take her time to realize how much control she can have and what to do with it but the notion is solidly there. I love how she told you that you made the offer and she happily agreed and it isn't changing unless she wants to. That sounds like a beautiful dominant wife starting to exercise her power!

I think you are exactly right to give her space to make decisions and own experimentation. I wouldn't bring up something like the condom again, give it a little time and see what she decides she wants to do. If she wants you to wear a condom she'll buy them herself or tell you to buy them. I think there will be more enjoyment for you if she makes a decision like this rather than you bringing it up and eventually badgering her enough until she buys in.

I really think you are onto something here and that she is going to end up doing more and taking charge over time. The trick will be to keep these things in her mind without topping from the bottom and telling her what to do. There are plenty of blogs, stories and videos that could give her ideas and potentially make her feel more comfortable that some of the things you brought up are things real people actually do. Do you think it would be possible for her to look at some of these resources?

I know my wife will look at them as foreplay but it's tough to get her to do it during the week or on any type of regular basis. I really do think women have fantasies just like men but that it is more common for a married woman to not be thinking of this stuff on a daily or even on a weekly basis.

[drstrangelove]

Nice update! It seems like she has really started to come around to the idea of being in charge in the bed. It might take her time to realize how much control she can have and what to do with it but the notion is solidly there. I love how she told you that you made the offer and she happily agreed and it isn't changing unless she wants to. That sounds like a beautiful dominant wife starting to exercise her power!

I think you are exactly right to give her space to make decisions and own experimentation. I wouldn't bring up something like the condom again, give it a little time and see what she decides she wants to do. If she wants you to wear a condom she'll buy them herself or tell you to buy them. I think there will be more enjoyment for you if she makes a decision like this rather than you bringing it up and eventually badgering her enough until she buys in.

I really think you are onto something here and that she is going to end up doing more and taking charge over time. The trick will be to keep these things in her mind without topping from the bottom and telling her what to do. There are plenty of blogs, stories and videos that could give her ideas and potentially make her feel more comfortable that some of the things you brought up are things real people actually do. Do you think it would be possible for her to look at some of these resources?

I know my wife will look at them as foreplay but it's tough to get her to do it during the week or on any type of regular basis. I really do think women have fantasies just like men but that it is more common for a married woman to not be thinking of this stuff on a daily or even on a weekly basis.

Yea, I'll need to read up on some ideas without coming off as overbearing. As for her reading about this stuff, my instinct for now is there's no shot.

I forgot if I mentioned it as part of the Saturday long talk update, but one thing she was VERY interested in doing is a date night. Something once a week where we plan a dinner and romantic evening in the bedroom. She thought that would be a good way of introducing new things and make sure we stayed active, it's just that the new things can't be what she deems extreme obviously. To be honest, I'm not even quite sure what she would have in mind, but I'm going to mention that for this Saturday and see what direction she decides to take it. On my end, I think it could be an opportunity to get her more comfortable verbally -- perhaps try and work in asking her to tell me an old sex story again as I suspect she might be more open to it now, but I'm not certain.

I really loved a few of her comments from last night, but the one the two that stuck with me are the one you mentioned about me offering the deal, but the other was her quick agreement that she does indeed fantasize about fucking hot guys, but absolutely doesn't think of having sex with me, preferring my tongue. I'd love to get her to open up more about that, but I get the sense it's not really something she has a lot of thoughts to share.

[trdd]

Nice update! It seems like she has really started to come around to the idea of being in charge in the bed. It might take her time to realize how much control she can have and what to do with it but the notion is solidly there. I love how she told you that you made the offer and she happily agreed and it isn't changing unless she wants to. That sounds like a beautiful dominant wife starting to exercise her power!

I think you are exactly right to give her space to make decisions and own experimentation. I wouldn't bring up something like the condom again, give it a little time and see what she decides she wants to do. If she wants you to wear a condom she'll buy them herself or tell you to buy them. I think there will be more enjoyment for you if she makes a decision like this rather than you bringing it up and eventually badgering her enough until she buys in.

I really think you are onto something here and that she is going to end up doing more and taking charge over time. The trick will be to keep these things in her mind without topping from the bottom and telling her what to do. There are plenty of blogs, stories and videos that could give her ideas and potentially make her feel more comfortable that some of the things you brought up are things real people actually do. Do you think it would be possible for her to look at some of these resources?

I know my wife will look at them as foreplay but it's tough to get her to do it during the week or on any type of regular basis. I really do think women have fantasies just like men but that it is more common for a married woman to not be thinking of this stuff on a daily or even on a weekly basis.

Yea, I'll need to read up on some ideas without coming off as overbearing. As for her reading about this stuff, my instinct for now is there's no shot.

I forgot if I mentioned it as part of the Saturday long talk update, but one thing she was VERY interested in doing is a date night. Something once a week where we plan a dinner and romantic evening in the bedroom. She thought that would be a good way of introducing new things and make sure we stayed active, it's just that the new things can't be what she deems extreme obviously. To be honest, I'm not even quite sure what she would have in mind, but I'm going to mention that for this Saturday and see what direction she decides to take it. On my end, I think it could be an opportunity to get her more comfortable verbally -- perhaps try and work in asking her to tell me an old sex story again as I suspect she might be more open to it now, but I'm not certain.

I really loved a few of her comments from last night, but the one the two that stuck with me are the one you mentioned about me offering the deal, but the other was her quick agreement that she does indeed fantasize about fucking hot guys, but absolutely doesn't think of having sex with me, preferring my tongue. I'd love to get her to open up more about that, but I get the sense it's not really something she has a lot of thoughts to share.

And sometimes date night should just be about the romance and you caring for her. It doesn't always have to be about the sexual side and exploring new ideas. I think women really appreciate just the Romantic focus and emphasizing that regularly will help get us men more of what we're thinking about all the time, LOL.

As far as the second comment you stressed, it didn't quite come across so strong in your first post. That is a bit of a revelation if she's fantasizing about being f***** by other guys but only wants your tongue. It would be great to hear more when she's ready of course.

[drstrangelove]

Nice update! It seems like she has really started to come around to the idea of being in charge in the bed. It might take her time to realize how much control she can have and what to do with it but the notion is solidly there. I love how she told you that you made the offer and she happily agreed and it isn't changing unless she wants to. That sounds like a beautiful dominant wife starting to exercise her power!

I think you are exactly right to give her space to make decisions and own experimentation. I wouldn't bring up something like the condom again, give it a little time and see what she decides she wants to do. If she wants you to wear a condom she'll buy them herself or tell you to buy them. I think there will be more enjoyment for you if she makes a decision like this rather than you bringing it up and eventually badgering her enough until she buys in.

I really think you are onto something here and that she is going to end up doing more and taking charge over time. The trick will be to keep these things in her mind without topping from the bottom and telling her what to do. There are plenty of blogs, stories and videos that could give her ideas and potentially make her feel more comfortable that some of the things you brought up are things real people actually do. Do you think it would be possible for her to look at some of these resources?

I know my wife will look at them as foreplay but it's tough to get her to do it during the week or on any type of regular basis. I really do think women have fantasies just like men but that it is more common for a married woman to not be thinking of this stuff on a daily or even on a weekly basis.

Yea, I'll need to read up on some ideas without coming off as overbearing. As for her reading about this stuff, my instinct for now is there's no shot.

I forgot if I mentioned it as part of the Saturday long talk update, but one thing she was VERY interested in doing is a date night. Something once a week where we plan a dinner and romantic evening in the bedroom. She thought that would be a good way of introducing new things and make sure we stayed active, it's just that the new things can't be what she deems extreme obviously. To be honest, I'm not even quite sure what she would have in mind, but I'm going to mention that for this Saturday and see what direction she decides to take it. On my end, I think it could be an opportunity to get her more comfortable verbally -- perhaps try and work in asking her to tell me an old sex story again as I suspect she might be more open to it now, but I'm not certain.

I really loved a few of her comments from last night, but the one the two that stuck with me are the one you mentioned about me offering the deal, but the other was her quick agreement that she does indeed fantasize about fucking hot guys, but absolutely doesn't think of having sex with me, preferring my tongue. I'd love to get her to open up more about that, but I get the sense it's not really something she has a lot of thoughts to share.

And sometimes date night should just be about the romance and you caring for her. It doesn't always have to be about the sexual side and exploring new ideas. I think women really appreciate just the Romantic focus and emphasizing that regularly will help get us men more of what we're thinking about all the time, LOL.

As far as the second comment you stressed, it didn't quite come across so strong in your first post. That is a bit of a revelation if she's fantasizing about being f***** by other guys but only wants your tongue. It would be great to hear more when she's ready of course.

Well, it wasn’t that explicit, but when discussing her fantasies, she was at first at a loss to name anything and then defaulted to “Well, I like hot guys.” And I asked if thst meant she imagined fucking them and she just said, “Yea, I guess.”

To be fair though, this was solely on the topic of fantasies that we have and separate from reality and it wasn’t directly tied into my thoughts on cuckolding as we both agreed during the convo that wasn’t practical. Still though, considering how gleeful she has been with sex off the table between us, it’s hot to think she’s also fantasizing about fucking hot guys she sees out and about.

[trdd]

Its cool your talking about all this now with her. With time some things will probably become more comfortable.

One thing my wife's fantasies seem to include is the notion of an anonymous person. We both noted that in the book on women's fantasies called Secret Garden it was often a common theme for the women who were sharing their fantasies with the author. So many people may fantasize about sex but not have someone specific in mind. It also can represent itself as really anonymous like a gloryhole for instance. Both of us enjoyed reading one fantasy where a woman is at a large party and she wanders out into the garden and a man comes up to her and starts to flirt and then eventually drops to his knees and is giving her oral sex. She doesn't know the man and in fact because she still dressed and his head is down below her skirt he's truly Anonymous in the fantasy. The other part of the fantasy is that everyone starts to go back in the house for dinner just as she is approaching her orgasm and at that time her husband is calling her and she hears his voice and hears that he is getting closer but her orgasm is approaching and she's caught in a bit of a bind. She wants the orgasm but she doesn't want to be discovered. Inner fantasy, she presses on until she has the orgasm and just narrowly misses being caught by her husband.

Who knows, maybe your wife really doesn't actively fantasize. She sounds like a busy woman raising young children & probably working as well. I know when I am really busy my sexual thoughts definitely diminish drastically. But odds are if you slowly expose her to your thoughts and to the thoughts of others she'll find stuff that's exciting. The good thing is she's already excited by you serving her orally!

[drstrangelove]

Another update.

So my wife received a significant raise at work today, which put us both in a great mood and we opened a good bottle of wine. She was getting tired, so we headed up to bed. I offered to give her a quickie, after all, she definitely deserved it, but she told me her period had started. I offered anyway, or at least to rub her clit, but she was grossed out by it and declined. I then offered a massage again, which she really enjoyed. Afterwards she brushed passed my cock and noticed it was hard, so she offered a BJ (but my gut told me it was more out of being nice than wanting to do it). I told her she didn't have to do that and I was fine, so she started to rub my dick and said: "How about I just do this then..." It felt really good and I knew I wasn't going to last long. After a minute or two, she reached her hand inside and started to jerk me off. I came in another minute or two all over my shirt. She was surprised and apologized, saying she didn't know I was close and she could have swallowed it. I told her it wasn't necessary and no big deal, I'd just throw my shirt in the wash.

So yea, just a small update, but what I'm not doing a good job of capturing probably is just how positive our sex life has been lately. I'm really trying to not push anything on her and make sure she feels like she's in control in the bedroom and she doesn't have to do anything because she thinks she's supposed to or I'll be upset if she doesn't. The result has been her more interested it seems, which is awesome.

She's traveling for work for the next three days, so probably no updates for a little bit.

[drstrangelove]

Small update.

So my wife is back from her business trip and today is likely the last day of her period. Full disclosure, I've been losing my mind the last few days. With her gone, I've been watching a ton of porn (mostly amateur cuckold) and seeing all these guys have crazy fuck sessions with hot chicks has been brutal. Knowing I need to go until mid-April before I get laid feels impossible to be honest. Every second of my day has revolved around thinking about fucking my wife.

So in my weakness, I caved today and texted her at work. I said that I think we should just fuck -- that it had already been more than a month since we had sex there's no way I can make it to April. I said even if it's just a once a month thing, I'm fine with it and I promised I'd give her awesome head the rest of the month. She agreed to both conditions and I thanked her and told her how happy I was to make the deal. So we settled on having sex tomorrow.

I'm now trying to wrap my mind around it. On one hand, I'm wondering if I messed up my own sex-denial fantasy by being too weak to make it to April, but after more thought, and based on how quickly my wife accepted the deal, I get the feeling this might have been exactly what she wanted all along. It's now established, so no more me asking for sex multiple times a week only for her to turn me down, instead I accepted a long-term deal to get sex once a month in exchange for giving her head the rest of the month. So now at most, I'll fuck her 12 times this year, and her and I both know it'll end up likely being less because she'll work in a BJ or something that finishes me off on a "sex night," and she also knows she'll get good head 100+ times in return.

So yea, I'm torn, on one hand its hot and kinky, but on the other hand I feel like I locked myself into a near sexless marriage. It felt real with the April thing, but it feels even more real now for some reason. I also kind of feel like I can't keep trying to change the terms on her moving forward, so for better or worse, I need to ride this out for at least a few months, right?

Any thoughts or feedback is appreciated as always.

[FNQLivin]

I think you should investigate chastity cages. This adds a level of submission to denial that ramps up the denial and takes a lot of the decision out of your hands (literally). That adds a level of kink to the play that makes the not getting any a whole lot more fun.