If you asked her to stop, would she?

[Abrandnewstart194]

As much as my Queen loves to cuck me, and to submit to her Bull, and all of the mind-blowing pleasures of sex with him, we both still prize our relationship more than the lifestyle. If I thought the health, and stability of our relationship was being harmed, or threatened by her relationships with other sex partners, it would be right to raise the red flag.

My Queen has told me that yes, if I asked her to stop, she would stop, but it would be with great disappointment, and probably be a source of resentment. She agreed to try the lifestyle for me, but now after only five playdates, she is hooked, and has told me that she never wants to stop fucking her Bull, and other men and return to a monogamous relationship. I know that with each coupling, and each new bull she takes, it would only get harder, and soon she might very well be so happy, and committed to it that she might be unable to stop.

For those reasons I’m unlikely ever to ask her to sacrifice something she finds so irresistibly pleasurable, but would it be UNFAIR for me to ask it of her?

I don’t think it would be.

Before she gave herself to a Bull, we lived a traditional, monogamous relationship. When we started, she wouldn’t even look at another man. I had to encourage her to look, and to admit to herself, and then to me her physical attraction to other guys. She then accepted, and embraced fantasy, and masturbating about other guys before finally going to another man’s bed where she discovered that she LOVED being owned by a Bull, and eagerly joined his harem of women.

We lived one way, then we changed our minds, and entered the lifestyle. It took our mutual consent to take that step, and each of us has the right to change our mind, and withdraw consent at any time just as we once changed our minds when we decided to try it.

[Johnann2227]

If either of us decided that we no longer wanted to in the swinging and hotwife lifestyle we would stop immediately. Part of our agreement over 25 years ago was that it never happens without the other knowing, love developing for another partner means that relationship must stop immediately, there can be no recriminations afterwards, and if either of us wants it all to stop it does immediately. Swinging and hotwifing has always been added exitement to enhance our marriage not replace it.
Hopefully neither of us will ever want it to stop.

[dinoo]

If I asked my wife to return to monogamy she would say that ship has sailed. We can’t take back what we have done and who we have become. Our relationship now is constructed around her sexual freedom. I can’t take back her freedom. That wouldn’t be love.

Yes. Especially when she is really enjoying the HW-lifestyle.
The only "rule" we made, she would stop a relationship if our marriage would suffer.
But that doesn't mean our lifestyle.

[Farmgirl]

If I asked my wife to return to monogamy she would say that ship has sailed. We can’t take back what we have done and who we have become. Our relationship now is constructed around her sexual freedom. I can’t take back her freedom. That wouldn’t be love.

Yes. Especially when she is really enjoying the HW-lifestyle.
The only "rule" we made, she would stop a relationship if our marriage would suffer.
But that doesn't mean our lifestyle.

[stubbyhubby]

Pretty sure she would laugh at me. Partly because she knows how much I love her fucking other men and partly because she would never consider limiting herself to my tiny dick. No way would she quit.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

For us, this was never even an issue of consideration. HW’ing has always more of a “novel enhancement” to our sex life than a lifestyle per se. If either of us wanted to call it quits, there wouldn’t even be a question. Our relationship as a couple and mutual consent have always been first priorities.

As for situations where a guy loses taste (or maybe becomes insecure) and wants to end it and a wife insists on continuing, it seems the wife no longer values her husband’s feelings as much as her sexual freedom. I only wonder if that same wife would be okay if the roles were reversed and their husband insisted on fucking other women against the wife’s approval. Neither of those scenarios seems healthy as a marriage in my opinion.

But a lot of people stay in marriages where one (or both) member’s desires are valued selfishly over the other mate’s wishes. I know many women who remain in marriages with abusive and alcoholic guys, and men who cheat on them. It’s fundamentally no different.

[Her number1]

For us, this was never even an issue of consideration. HW’ing has always more of a “novel enhancement” to our sex life than a lifestyle per se. If either of us wanted to call it quits, there wouldn’t even be a question. Our relationship as a couple and mutual consent have always been first priorities.

As for situations where a guy loses taste (or maybe becomes insecure) and wants to end it and a wife insists on continuing, it seems the wife no longer values her husband’s feelings as much as her sexual freedom. I only wonder if that same wife would be okay if the roles were reversed and their husband insisted on fucking other women against the wife’s approval. Neither of those scenarios seems healthy as a marriage in my opinion.

But a lot of people stay in marriages where one (or both) member’s desires are valued selfishly over the other mate’s wishes. I know many women who remain in marriages with abusive and alcoholic guys, and men who cheat on them. It’s fundamentally no different.

It's not that I disagree with you, but I think when we look at this question it begs that we also examine the other side of the coin:

The husband asks for her to be a hotwife, and to have sex with other men. Almost always it is because at first, he finds the idea "hot", it is his fantasy. After some time, maybe years, he "convinces" her to partake. At first, she mostly looks at it as a way to please her husband. Then she begins to like it, maybe even love it.
Now he has decided that he no longer likes it and wants her to stop.
What makes his choice any better for the marriage than hers not wanting to stop?

To me, it seems the answer to the question isn't whether she would stop, but more so, why would he ask her to stop. In a good marriage, each spouse puts the other first.
The husband wouldn't ask the wife to stop something she enjoys, causing her pain any more than the wife would keep doing something that causes her husband pain.
Either is selfish, but he the more because he asked her to do it to start with.

Too many men think this is just something wives put on and take off like a set of clothes. For most women, it goes much deeper into who they are than that.

[Greg_N_Shelley]

For us, this was never even an issue of consideration. HW’ing has always more of a “novel enhancement” to our sex life than a lifestyle per se. If either of us wanted to call it quits, there wouldn’t even be a question. Our relationship as a couple and mutual consent have always been first priorities.

As for situations where a guy loses taste (or maybe becomes insecure) and wants to end it and a wife insists on continuing, it seems the wife no longer values her husband’s feelings as much as her sexual freedom. I only wonder if that same wife would be okay if the roles were reversed and their husband insisted on fucking other women against the wife’s approval. Neither of those scenarios seems healthy as a marriage in my opinion.

But a lot of people stay in marriages where one (or both) member’s desires are valued selfishly over the other mate’s wishes. I know many women who remain in marriages with abusive and alcoholic guys, and men who cheat on them. It’s fundamentally no different.

It's not that I disagree with you, but I think when we look at this question it begs that we also examine the other side of the coin:

The husband asks for her to be a hotwife, and to have sex with other men. Almost always it is because at first, he finds the idea "hot", it is his fantasy. After some time, maybe years, he "convinces" her to partake. At first, she mostly looks at it as a way to please her husband. Then she begins to like it, maybe even love it.
Now he has decided that he no longer likes it and wants her to stop.
What makes his choice any better for the marriage than hers not wanting to stop?

To me, it seems the answer to the question isn't whether she would stop, but more so, why would he ask her to stop. In a good marriage, each spouse puts the other first.
The husband wouldn't ask the wife to stop something she enjoys, causing her pain any more than the wife would keep doing something that causes her husband pain.
Either is selfish, but he the more because he asked her to do it to start with.

Too many men think this is just something wives put on and take off like a set of clothes. For most women, it goes much deeper into who they are than that.

I understand your point and don’t disagree either. I invited Shelley to the ‘HW party’ and never would have imagined asking her to stop. And like many of us, I value her freedom and fulfillment more than any feelings of insecurity. I think for most of us, the OP’s question is largely theoretical. But as for the situation where a guy may genuinely have a change of heart, the issue appears to be a matter of consideration.

From my perspective, this isn’t a matter of “right” or “wrong.” Rather, it seems a matter of value. What do we (husband or wife) value more? Sexual freedom or our mate’s feelings?

As an example…Shelley went through early menopause several years back and her libido dropped through the floor. Aside from ending her HW interest, even our sex became quite infrequent. She knew my libido hadn’t changed so she approved of me having freedom with other women. I travel quite often and have had a number of opportunities appear while on the road, but only now was I “approved” to entertain those opportunities. Then she changed her mind later (she couldn’t handle the jealousy). I felt disappointed, but I honored her feelings and agreed to remain monogamous. For me, it was a simple matter of value and consideration. I value her feelings more than my sexual freedom. Personally, it feels unimaginably inconsiderate and selfish for me to say, “Sorry babe, you agreed to this and I really, really like fucking other women so I am going to do it whether you like it or not.”

But I don’t hold that as an idealistic point. It’s just a matter of value and many folks are totally fine in relationships where their personal desires supersede consideration for their partners.

[Her number1]

I understand your point and don’t disagree either. I invited Shelley to the ‘HW party’ and never would have imagined asking her to stop. And like many of us, I value her freedom and fulfillment more than any feelings of insecurity. I think for most of us, the OP’s question is largely theoretical. But as for the situation where a guy may genuinely have a change of heart, the issue appears to be a matter of consideration.

From my perspective, this isn’t a matter of “right” or “wrong.” Rather, it seems a matter of value. What do we (husband or wife) value more? Sexual freedom or our mate’s feelings?

As an example…Shelley went through early menopause several years back and her libido dropped through the floor. Aside from ending her HW interest, even our sex became quite infrequent. She knew my libido hadn’t changed so she approved of me having freedom with other women. I travel quite often and have had a number of opportunities appear while on the road, but only now was I “approved” to entertain those opportunities. Then she changed her mind later (she couldn’t handle the jealousy). I felt disappointed, but I honored her feelings and agreed to remain monogamous. For me, it was a simple matter of value and consideration. I value her feelings more than my sexual freedom. Personally, it feels unimaginably inconsiderate and selfish for me to say, “Sorry babe, you agreed to this and I really, really like fucking other women so I am going to do it whether you like it or not.”

But I don’t hold that as an idealistic point. It’s just a matter of value and many folks are totally fine in relationships where their personal desires supersede consideration for their partners.

I never thought for a minute that we didn't agree, or that either of us wouldn't place our wives ahead of ourselves, and in truth, I think both of our wives do the same.
I did rather enjoy the chat.

[parklife]

It’s funny what threads suddenly reappear after a year and regurgitate what has largely already been worked thru…. I remember this thread from last year and the stalemate that ensued as some of us where like “question doesn’t make sense, this is just who we are” vs “but if you did ask”.

*insert head bag going against a wall*

How people just are born and live/lifestyle vs using as an enhancement or play for sexual enjoyment.

[tiedyeHotwife]

Yes, I would stop.
Then I would wait a week - and begin to tease a bit.
"going out with the girls ..... how sexy should I dress?"
Send him a pic of some new outfit - after he replies - I'd ask - "I'm so tempted to send that pic to ______" "should I"?

Would only take a week or two before my husband would be hot to play again.

[Loserpaul]

She made it quite clear to me years ago that she was not capable of monogamy. She couldn't stop seeing her bulls even if she wanted to (which she doesn't). I always knew what I was getting into however. This is the woman whose favourite song is Mein Herr from Cabaret after all.

[Reno1]

Probably not. My first real girlfriend in high school,who fucked another guy while I was still a virgin, revealed to me that I was a cuckold. She was also a virgin at the time, and he bragged openly about fucking her, and her best friend was in the back seat of the car when she fucked the other guy twice. But I thought that was just because she was drunk and it was a one time thing. A short time afterward she tested pregnant. Since she let me do it too after the other guy, it could of been mine. Maybe.
Then after we were married she confessed she was fucking two other guys. I think she may have enjoyed telling me, because she looked me straight in the eye when she confessed, like I was a cuck and she knew it. It made me so horny that I finally worked up the nerve to tell her I wanted her to fuck other guys. And she started immediately, sometimes two at a time, taking turns in her, she came home full of strange guys cum for me to lick the cream pie and feel the natural lube of a cum filled pussy.
Like any man I was humiliated by her taking me in front of guys and then telling me she had just fucked the guy in the last few days.and a friend of mine told me she had propositioned him and his wife and he couldn’t hang out with us.
I was totally humiliated by her fucking other guys, but she said it was my fault because I couldn’t make her cum, and the other, rougher and pushier guys did. So I thought I should sleep with at least one other girl, and I tried. But no girls found me sexy enough and I really had no idea how to meet them. I made a fool out of myself a few times. So I became angry about all the guys my wife could fuck at her command and that I was a cuck……even though I had never heard of that word and no idea what a cuck was.
So like a complete fool, I pushed her away. Big mistake. Don’t do it.
I am a cuck because it turns me on when my wife fucks other men. It’s a huge turn on and I can have a sex life other guys can just dream about. You a lucky if you can find that woman. But you can’t control it, just enjoy it.
After I broke up with my first wife out of jealousy, I had to find another woman who would fuck other men. So I had to ask women if they would cheat on their husbands. And I happily found, many women will. Even if they love their husbands, they may not be able to please them in bed. So realize that for every man that cheats there is a woman who is probably fucking someone else than her partner. It’s just math.
So don’t try to stop her.

[Newcuck614]

She would, but I would never dare want to take that away from her. The hotwife/cuckolding dynamic opens such an incredible door of empowerment, freedom, sexual satisfaction, and self awareness that to pull the rug out from under the amazing benefits to the lifestyle would be a literal soul crusher. This is why before opening this door there needs to be some serious thoughts to it because once you walk into this journey, there really isn't any turning back. I've never faced the insecurities that some men face after seeing their wife with other men, but even if I did, seeing her pleasure and happiness through this journey will always overpower my insecurities.

[Littlebeau]

I wanted my HW to stop several times because I felt hurt not being able to pleasure her properly. Early on in her playing as she was having fun with her first loverI told her I didn’t want her to go be with him. She quickly told me no you started this now I am going, anyway. Another time which caused me much angist she had just finished being with this same guy who always fucked her twice each time they were together. I was trying to reclaim her but for some reason I got limp on her a couldn’t do her. I felt that I needed to wait awhile an be able to try again to reclaim her but she quickly told me no you had your chance now I am going back an be with him again. This guy was such as stud he had done over one hundred ladies. When she came back home she told me when she got there he threw her down just inside his front door a fucked her good right there as soon as she got there. He quickly became her number one FB an once when I was about to do her she told me he was for fucking her an I was for licking her!

[coupleoxford]

No.

I know that because I did ask her although it was a while back. I said to her that if she wanted to drop the idea and go back to a vanilla lifestyle then I'd be fine with that but she quickly told me "no way" and that ended that line of enquiry.

[ccklvr]

not that i want it right now, but i doubt.

[Dutch cuckold]

Yes. But she wouldn't be happy.

Although my dick isn't big and big is something she always wanted and desired and still does, i am able to satisfy her with tongue and fingers. She would stop but still have the desire's.

She has always been a flirt and is an attention addict, specially with new handsome men. She is way more horny and wet with other men and in this setting "cheating" her husband, turns her on even more. She has always been a hotwife even many years before knowing what that is. She is a good person doesn't want us to separate but stopping this lifestyle would make her unhappy. For me it is the same way, i am addicted to the thrill and angst, her taste as she comes home, the way she behaves. We have taken our path it would be weird to turn back now.

[Mike_B]

Absolutely no way would she stop if I asked or begged. It’s gone to far to turn around. She’s completely committed to her lover. He does things to her I have never been capable of providing. In addition I’m too far along in my desire to be feminine. I’ve not had intercourse since January 2019. I’ve only had clean up when he permits it and tells me she’s waiting.

Pauline

Same here

[PANTIES]

Isn’t life wonderful


Pauline

[Cuck_Steve]

Don’t think so. My wife and her boyfriend are too into each other to stop now, especially as he lives with us, I can’t see my wife wanting him to leave.

[funkyfitter]

I'd never ask or truly want her to, but, I'm 99% sure that the only thing that would stop is any involvement, physical or mental, on my part.