intro and going deeper into situation

[Jeremie11231]

I've made a few posts on here but haven't really introduced myself.
Writing now because last night something happened that really pushed me deeper into a full cuckold status and identity.

My wife (I'll call her "Emily") and I have been together a long time but are still relatively young.
The first time I was cucked was about 10 years ago, after I admitted to Emily that I had fantasies of her being with another guy. I didn't know how she would react, but as it turned out, she was very happy to hear that I would actually even consider the possibility of her having sex with another man, and she was pretty eager to connect with someone. Within a month of telling her, she met a young college kid who was really into the idea of sex with an older married woman, and they had cucked me pretty hard -- twice. (Maybe I can tell that whole story another time.)

It was hot but also difficult -- I had a lot of doubts back then about whether it was safe for our relationship, or just a really bad idea. Reality wasn't as purely hot as the fantasy, and there was all this reality stuff in the real version that felt overwhelming and I wasn't totally ready to continue. The connection with the college guy ended pretty quickly because of us just needing to process and for logistical reasons, also.

About 8 years went by where we hardly talked about it and she didn't connect with any other guys. We were really busy with work/career, moving, family, etc. During that time, I still wasn't sure if our little adventure had been a mistake or not. I still fantasized about it, but I didn't think we could or should move it into reality again.

A little over 2 years ago, we started talking about it again and decided to open things up. Part of the reason for that was that we were having very little sex ourselves and felt the need for something more. Technically, we agreed to open it up for both of us, and both of us got on dating apps. But not so surprisingly, Emily was the only one who actually got any dates. Within a couple of months, she had met a couple of guys in person, and one of dates she went on she wasn't coming home and it was already almost midnight, and when she finally did get back, she admitted that she had gone back to his place and they had been having sex for a couple of hours. I could see the difference in her as soon as she walked in. She is pretty quiet and introverted and expresses herself mostly in subtle ways - I could see a deep smile behind her face, and she seemed to be glowing with confidence and sexual energy - she seemed kind of 'flushed'. Seeing that had a big effect on me, and she could see that I was accepting what happened in a good way, so she felt like she had a green light to continue. I still felt anxious about it, of course, and a little jealous -- maybe worried about where it could lead if she had really good sex with someone else when we hadn't been having that much sex at all... But I think I felt safer this time around because we had done it before and 8 years later were still together.

I'm going to post this part now and write part 2 in a little bit...

[Bscott766]

Awesome can't wait to hear more about you and you're wifes cucking you

[path22]

So good, i wait for more !!

[Jeremie11231]

Okay - so, continuing...
By the way, I guess I am feeling motivated to post some kind of 'journal' entries on here as things continue to develop (I have privately journaled about it plenty), but for the current stuff to make sense, I have to start at the beginning and give at least an outline of how we got to where we are now.

So, picking up where I left off -
Emily came home late that night, giving off a different energy, and told me that after some food and drinks, she had gone back to her date's apartment and they had started making out, and that quickly led to her giving him oral as he sat on his living room couch, and that led to him taking her up to his bedroom and having sex. Before she got into all those details, though, as soon as she got home and told me she had been at her date's place, which is why she had stayed out so late, she kissed me deep on the lips and I could smell and taste 'man' sex taste on her. It took me a second for it to sink in, and it felt intense -- along with, I remember, just feeling this more aggressive, confident energy in her.

The other thing that stood out to me was that she wasn't the least bit apologetic about coming home late or not texting earlier, and didn't seem to be concerned at all about whether I was okay with any of it or not -- it just felt *bold* -- which felt kind of new or unusual for her (I'd definitely seen it before, but not often and not in a long time). She is generally very shy and careful in her overall demeanor. And to give you an idea, she's a very small/petite woman, freckly, "cute" and "nerdy" - that's how most people who met her would describe her.

That night, we went to bed and lying there she answered questions about the details of her dinner conversation and then her time at his apartment. It was the first time she had ever had sex (or anything) with someone else without me there (the 2 incidents 8 years before had been with me present), so that was new, and I felt embarrassed to ask so many questions -- like I had to try to limit them because it felt silly to be so obsessed with details -- that's a feeling I've had again and again since then. But she didn't seem to mind and thought it was cute, and pointed out that my dick was very hard. She felt it through my underwear with her hand but said that she wasn't up for any sex, but that she wouldn't mind if I wanted to masturbate next to her. She ended up falling asleep and I lay awake buzzing from what I knew, quietly jerking myself until I came.

The next day I got more details. He was in a long term serious partnership, but his girlfriend lived in a different city and they were both non-monogamous and had a lot of experience with all kinds of sex parties and BDSM play. He had a PhD and they had a lot to talk about because of similar careers. He apparently told her later at their apartment that the moment she showed up at the restaurant for their date, he could see in her that she was very submissive and needing to find a man who could dominate her. And that's exactly what he did, in his apartment -- having her suck him on her knees, pushing his cock into her mouth, fingering her and making her beg him to fuck her, spanking her, and then fucking her really hard every which way. He knew she was married, of course, and she told me he teased her a lot about that, telling her what a naughty wife she was, being such a slut for him, and 'what would your husband think if he could see you right now, begging me to fuck you?' I'm sure it was obvious to him (if she didn't just tell him outright, which she might have), just seeing how she was responding, that she never got any of that kind of thing from me. And he would have been correct, of course.

Not even a week passed before she saw him again, and this time they skipped the restaurant and she just went straight to his apartment. That night they had even more time together and more stuff happened. I'll never know everything that happened, of course - just a few details that Emily described. But after those two dates, it was clear to Emily that it wasn't going to cause any trouble with me for her to continue to go to his apartment. Especially after the first time, when that wasn't even the plan or something she asked me about ahead of time. The other thing that was new for me was not being directly involved. And she could see that I didn't seem to be protesting that, either.

The next time she saw him, I found out only afterwards. She was going to an early evening dinner or happy hour thing for work on a weeknight, something that was going to end early. But when she wasn't home as early as I expected, I started to wonder. She got home not long after that, and told me that while she was at the happy hour, she got a text from her new friend saying he wanted her to come over right then and give him a blowjob. She wrapped things up where she was and headed over to his place, and got on her knees in front of his couch again and gave him a long blowjob, letting him fuck up into her throat until he came in her mouth holding her on his cock. Then she came home.

Things kind of progressed from there - she continued to see him, and they had a very friendly connection, but nothing emotional. Like the first guy 8 years before, the main thing she seemed to be getting was just the dominance she craved. But they had a lot in common, too, and would do things like go out to a play or show and then back to his apartment afterwards to submit to him. I never actually met him (he moved to a different city last year), and their sex was all in private. One time on an evening when I knew she was going to his apartment, about an hour into her time there, my phone rang with her name on it, and I wasn't expecting that and in retrospect it seems naive, but I was surprised when I picked up and said "hello", and instead of an answer, I just heard the sound of Emily getting fucked really hard and fast and saying things to him -- it was hard to hear, but he was saying things like "you want your husband to hear you taking my cock?" They never even tried to say anything directly to me -- it sounded like the phone was just laid out on the bed somewhere. She probably gave him her phone to dial me up on speakerphone -- by the time, I answered, at least, she wasn't in any condition where she could hold a phone and press buttons on it. I listened until they hung up after about 1 minute.

So, all along through all this, I was doing pretty well -- some jealousy, yes -- but I didn't want to be the kind of husband who backtracked or freaked out when things got real. And it was hot, too -- of course -- really hot. To think about, to hear about from her. We had sex and it was better than it was before all this.

Also all along through this, Emily was feeling into her freedom -- not that she ever seemed to be too concerned, but she seemed to become even less concerned and more confident that she really, actually could just do what she wanted with other men, without me around, without even warning me ahead of time. And slowly, it went from being this kink play thing we were doing as a project together, to being something that she wanted to do for its own sake, for her own pleasure, and that having me be cool with it just made it even better and easier. And allowed her to connect with people in a casual, more sexy way, knowing she had a stable, loving husband at home to meet her needs for love and stability.

She went on some dates with other guys, too, and it felt like this was going to be a thing that stuck around - the new status quo. And I was honestly doing okay with that - at least most of the time.

Then, she met Josh -- and things got more intense for me.

To be continued in next post...

[MrMtl]

Wow, what a storie.

Still don’t know also who it could become if she do cross the line and become officially a Hotwife.

[venus-can99]

Can’t wait to hear about Josh and Emily and how things have progressed

[newUK]

A great read so far. Thank you for sharing!

[elina]

Dear Jeremi

Thanks for sharing.
Really interesting story of how Emily appeared to be turning into a Cuckoldress at the time these things happened,
and how you willingly went along and obviously encouraged Her.

Looking forward to future installments and to leave where the two of you are today.

Sincerely
elina
(submissive male)

[Jeremie11231]

Thanks for the encouragement, guys - it's motivating me and feels good to share.

So, picking up where I left off -- at this point, Emily had discovered that there was a big world of sexual experience out there for her to explore with other men who were new and interesting to her, and also more dominant with her. I had my moments of doubt and discomfort, but overall was adjusting well and becoming more comfortable with the experience of being at home alone waiting as the hour got later, knowing she was with another man. Each time it happened and life went on afterwards, I got more used to it. Our own sex also got a lot better because we both got really hot talking about the things she was doing or might do. We also discovered playing with orgasm restriction for me – basically, that started with sharing about the ‘clarity’ that came after cumming, and how that made things a lot harder, and so the best thing for me, to stay in the right headspace, was to refrain from any orgasms while she was out, and even the whole day leading up to a date. Then the whole 2 days (if we knew one was coming). Being in that kind of conversation with her also made me feel included, like I was a part of the whole thing and that she cared about me and where I was at, sexually and psychologically. So I was doing well and the horse had very much left the barn, anyway, and it seemed like I could survive this arrangement continuing indefinitely. No real prospects were coming up for me on the dating apps, and that bummed me out, but I had stopped thinking about it a lot. I felt happy that Emily and I were having more sex and I was feeling a lot of connection with her.

The really big shift happened when she met Josh – a married guy she connected with on a dating app and started chatting with. He was 10 years younger than her, and was allowed to have sex with other women because his wife had some problems and sex was painful. I couldn’t help but suspect that had something to do with the fact he had an absolutely massive cock – a fact that came out in their online communications. Emily shared a couple of photos he had texted to her and it was shockingly big. It was obvious that she had never seen a cock that big in real life and also that she was fascinated and curious about what it would be like to be with a guy like that. Plus, he was a really intelligent, respectful guy who she was really clicking with at a personal level, chatting over text.

She finally went on a date with Josh and after they had been gone only about an hour and a half, she texted me saying they were going to come back here to hang out for the evening. They arrived about 15 minutes later and she introduced him to me when they came through the front door. He was way better looking in person than in the photos. He was about 6’4”, and his hand was big and strong when he shook my hand. His vibe was friendly and totally confident. Emily told me that they were going to go in the hot tub for a bit. She got towels and they went out the back door.
I couldn’t see anything out there because it was too dark, but I know he must have got in naked because he hadn’t been planning on swimming and didn’t have a bathing suit. After about 20 minutes, I heard them come back inside the house. I stayed in another room to avoid any more awkwardness – I was kind of on pins and needles wondering what they might do next. I heard them walking to our bedroom, closing the door and putting on some music. I didn’t hear anything but music for about 20 minutes, but then I heard it – the unmistakable sound of Emily being penetrated – penetrated to a whole different level. Later on, she told me that back at the bar where they’d met, they had kissed and she slipped her hand over his pants and when she felt his massiveness, she was overcome by desire for him and got really wet inside her underwear right there in the bar.
That was the night everything changed. Before that night, I think she enjoyed the novelty and excitement of connecting with men with different sexual personalities and bodies, but this was something else entirely. The sounds she was making were like nothing I’ve ever heard. It was like her vocal cords opened up to let out these breathy moans from deep inside her, like she was hyperventilating and moaning at the same time. It sounded like someone wailing and crying while getting fucked – slowly in he beginning, and then more like getting pounded. It was like she’d never fully been fucked before that night.
I tiptoed close to the bedroom door to listen and felt literally lightheaded with humiliation and jealousy – I didn’t know what to do with myself, and felt like I’d made a huge mistake ever to agree to all this – but also thinking how by the time she met Josh it was already way too late to stop anything. I imagined the connection she’d feel with Josh would be something we’d never share together. I felt helplessness and shame as I heard her crying out from being filled up and pounded deeper than she ever had been before, by a guy I’d just met and shook hands with myself a little earlier.
Standing outside the door I was scared they might hear me or realize I was there and feel like I was invading their privacy or being weird, or just pathetic. I knew I would be completely mortified to be discovered there. But I couldn’t not listen. She sounded completely overwhelmed, and there were times when it almost sounded like she was crying and just couldn’t even form words. I did hear a few actual words when they talked loud enough.
At one point Emily was like, “what are you doing to me??”
and I heard Josh say something like, “opening you up, baby…”
I don’t think I had ever been more turned on in my life. My mouth went dry, my heart was beating fast, and for the first time in my life I thought it might even be possible for me to have an orgasm without even touching my penis. And my penis, by the way, was shrunken into a little nub from all the adrenaline. Feeling it poking my underwear so small like that just increased my sense of humiliation as I listened outside the bedroom to the sound of Emily bouncing up and down on his cock – in my mind’s eye I could see those photos she had showed me of it – so thick and heavy – matching the image of that with the sounds I was hearing. I became worried I might *actually* cum without even touching myself, which would be bad because I knew I’d feel worse and it would be breaking the rules I had agreed to with Emily. I remember stepping outside the house in the night air to collect my thoughts and calm down. The magnitude of it all.

Josh fucked her twice that night, with maybe a 20-minute break inbetween. All in all, they were in the bedroom having sex for a couple of hours.

I made myself scarce and eventually heard footsteps and the front door shut, and ventured out to see if Emily was alone and out of the bedroom. She looked like a different woman – she had that glow, and was just so in her body and confident-looking. And like she had just got a massage and a sauna. We got in bed and she cuddled me and told me her night had been “amazing”. And that she was tired and we should go to sleep. She said she thought it would be best for me not to cum that night – something she’d never suggested before – and that we should wait until the next night and have some special connection time then. I thought I would just die, but felt strangely good at the same time. I lay awake a lot of that night just thinking about everything, kind of in shock, but feeling strange new good feelings, too.

to be continued…

[whosbeensleeping]

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

[Maddie_Hippychick]

Wow! That was hot. Please… continue.

[Jeremie11231]

Okay - continuing -- Just want to note that in this retelling of the events leading up to my current situation, I’m only including all the juicy stuff – there was of course lots of blah times inbetween, and not-fun, not-sexy times – that’s life –

So after that first experience with Josh, Emily and I had a heart-to-heart talk about male endowment... The thing about Emily is that she is almost totally unable to lie, when asked questions – she can be very quiet and withhold truth in that way, but if you ask her questions, the answers are brutally honest. I’m on the smaller side – soft, my penis looks super tiny and I’ve always felt self-conscious about that, never wanting to be naked in front of other people. Hard, I’m acceptable but still self-conscious about size. She did remember telling me years before that size didn’t matter, but after being with Josh she realized it definitely did matter – at least to her, it did – and now she knew what other women were talking about. She just had never actually experienced being with a guy like Josh to know for herself. She reassured me that she loved my penis and loved our sex, and that sex with a guy like Josh was just a different experience. But she also admitted that now that she had experienced it, she felt she very much needed to have that kind of sex in her life. She wanted to continue to see Josh, and wanted not to have to hide from me what she was going through with him, sexually. I told her it was okay, even though my insides were turning upside down and I was feeling almost lightheaded with jealousy.

In our conversations in the days after that first night with Josh, I would try to ask, as casually as I could make myself sound, more questions about her experience. She told me about kissing him in the bar and feeling his hard cock through his pants and how it had instantly made her wet – the feeling of surprise when she felt the actual physical reality of how big he was. I imagined him noticing her react silently to what she felt with her hand, sensing right away her nervousness and her interest, and how obvious it might have been even then that it was something totally new to her. The first time she saw it with her eyes was in the hot tub. She had sat in his lap and straddled him while they made out in the water and she could feel it against her body. In the dark, she had also sucked him while he sat up on the edge. She told me how she had to open her jaw as wide as it would go just to put it in her mouth at all, and that she could only fit the head of it into her mouth. She described how just being with him and touching his cock made her feel dominated, knowing that, one way or another, he was going to put that inside of her. It made her feel small and submissive and so turned on that she felt like she’d do anything to please him. I pressed her to tell me about what happened in the bedroom, and she said that after preparing her for him, she was practically begging for his cock, but that when he pushed at her entrance, “it didn’t just go in, like yours does”, even though she was extremely wet – he had to push very firmly to open her up before it went in. The feeling she had once it was in was a totally new feeling, which she described as “being stretched and filled up”. And that he seemed to know exactly what he was doing as he touched parts of her insides that had never been reached like that. She talked about the emotional effects that had on her – feelings she didn’t understand coming up from her body, and that at one point she had started to cry a little bit - not bad crying, but just some emotion coming loose. She said she had a feeling of overwhelm, like her body was so filled up by him that all she could do was feel his cock moving in and out of her – not think at all – just totally surrender to it with her whole body. And that just when she thought it was all she could handle just to have it inside her, he steadied her body with his big hands and started pumping it in and out of her, harder and harder as she completely lost control of herself. Experiencing that with his massive cock inside her had changed her, and changed her view of what sex could be.

That period of time after meeting Josh was probably the hardest for me of this entire journey. There was this new level of fear, above what I had felt previously up to that point - fear that began that night Josh first came over and I heard what I heard through the door, and that continued to come up in me in the days that followed, and surged up again more and more intensely as she invited him over several times in the next month. Like that first night, I would hear them through our locked bedroom door, and just when I thought the shame and dread was getting too intense to bear, it would turn into this frustratingly strange pleasure of turn-on – like a tension in my legs and ass and penis. I couldn’t not listen. Every time, though, my heart beat so hard I could hear my pulse in my ears, and the adrenaline made my penis shrink into a knot – I had never felt my dick so turned on without even touching it while also having it be as small as it gets. I wanted Emily so, so bad, but even if she had opened the door and invited me to join her in bed, I would not have been able to fuck her.

One of the most humbling and frustrating things for me was having sex with her after hearing her with Josh. Emily was very loving and would move in sexy ways, and encourage me as I fucked her hard in different positions. But even when I fucked her as hard and deep as I could, she would usually just be totally calm. She made none of the sounds I had heard her make even from slow sex with Josh. Not even close. Him just entering her made her moan and whimper in ways I could not make her sound even when I tried to fuck her as hard as I could.

Josh was experiencing a kind of sex with Emily that I would never experience. He got to see and feel her, writhing around whimpering on his cock, completely and overwhelmingly devoted to taking him like that, as he experienced her from the inside out. And he knew it. It seemed unfair, that all that was his because of a physical difference. But I also knew that it was way more than a physical difference… Josh had a whole different background of experience, and the confidence to go with it – he knew that when he made love to Emily that she was going to be having really intense sensations. And Emily could feel he knew it, and she responded to that vibe he had.

This was not what I had in mind when I first told Emily I fantasized about her being with another guy. I can hardly even remember what I thought that might realistically be like, but it just turned me on to think of her being with someone other than me – just because they were someone other than me. Maybe it was totally naive of me – I think it definitely was naive… – but I had not envisioned this scenario where I had to confront the possibility that I was literally physically incapable… well – to stand by knowing that a man was teaching her that she needed something that I did not have the physical ability to give her. I was worried that I would never be able to have that kind of sexual intimacy with her. But it’s not like the solution to that would be to try to stop her from having it with anybody.

It may not have been what I had in mind, but it was happening. And it wasn’t realistic for it to stop happening. We couldn’t go back in time. I knew we loved each other and nothing could change that, and kept my attention on that, and on the fact that I didn’t actually want it to stop because I’d never been so turned on in my life, to see Emily transforming into a woman with levels of sexuality I had never seen in her before. So I was determined to manage my anxiety and figure out how to make it sustainable.

Will continue...

[whosbeensleeping]

Whew! Great job retelling.

[Abrandnewstart194]

Those feelings really resonate with me. When my Queen agreed to cuck me, I had been the largest, most talented cock she had ever fucked. She describe to a girlfriend our first time as feeling like she lost her virginity again, that I was like a god in bed, and that she had won the lottery when I entered her.

Her first Bull was smaller than me, but despite that, she loved the shape of his cock better than mine, and eventually came to admit that fucking him was an almost transcendental experience, and something far better than she had ever imagined sex could be, even with me.

Now she’s preparing for a new bull, much better endowed than me.

This isn’t exactly what I had bargained for, but it is what I got. It’s all taken on a life of its own, sweeping me along with it to places I never expected. I’ve learned that the more I resist it, the more the things that bother me hurt as there’s nothing a cuck can do about his Queen wanting, and receiving better sex from her Bulls than I can give her. Surrendering to it, obeying and serving her desires, and her Bulls, on the other hand, is difficult, but less traumatic, and brings unexpected pleasures as they almost “rewire” me sexually to want things I never wanted before all of this, and thereby yo become a better cuck to my Queen.

[US31]

Omg. I’m breathing so hard after reading this story. I’m sure I would be cumming a lot without touching myself.
Please go on.

[Jeremie11231]

Hi @abrandnewstart - Thanks - yes, you got it - I definitely relate. I have definitely been getting "rewired", and there are things I can accept and even like now that would have been impossible in the beginning. There are a bunch of different kind of practices that help with that rewiring to move it along, and Emily and I have discovered them together and mutually agreed that everything is better for *both* of us if we do those things -- I'll write about them! (but includes things like orgasm restriction, chastity, masturbation while talking about and agreeing to things / associating orgasm with agreeing to things -- lots of other things...) In the end, it makes my life easier -- a lot of the discomfort and resistance comes from there being confusion about what's what and who's who, and anything that makes all that crystal clear actually relieves discomfort, even if it seems like something hard to accept. And then Emily also enjoys her sex more because of the 'rewiring' of me.

[Abrandnewstart194]

You really helped me to formulate my thoughts on the matter, but I was worried about posting at such length- I didn’t want to make it seem like I was trying to hijack your thread, and beautiful story - but couldn’t say it any more concisely without losing the essence of it. I’m so glad you’re alright with it, and most of all understand the feeling.

Nobody who hasn’t had the experience can ever truly understand what an amazing, sexy, terrifying, incredible thing it is to become a cuck, surrendering everything including your sexual identity in favor of your Queen’s absolute satisfaction. Fear, shame, remorse, and craving are all part of a complicated dance, in my experience, but however great the other feelings, the craving is always the greatest and prevails in the end. I love who I am becoming, and the surprise of it as I watch my Queen blossom.

[elina]

Hi @abrandnewstart - Thanks - yes, you got it - I definitely relate. I have definitely been getting "rewired", and there are things I can accept and even like now that would have been impossible in the beginning. There are a bunch of different kind of practices that help with that rewiring to move it along, and Emily and I have discovered them together and mutually agreed that everything is better for *both* of us if we do those things -- I'll write about them! (but includes things like orgasm restriction, chastity, masturbation while talking about and agreeing to things / associating orgasm with agreeing to things -- lots of other things...) In the end, it makes my life easier -- a lot of the discomfort and resistance comes from there being confusion about what's what and who's who, and anything that makes all that crystal clear actually relieves discomfort, even if it seems like something hard to accept. And then Emily also enjoys her sex more because of the 'rewiring' of me.

Thank you Jeremie for providing us with a little preview of what is to come.
I am glad to hear that you have accepted reality and found a new way for how to please the Lady you love while accepting that She now is also satisfied in ways you are not able to provide her with.

Really looking forward to follow going forward.

Sincerely
elina

[David52]

Jeremie. Your story resonates closely with my own sexual “re-wiring” and feelings of inadequacy. Your posts are hot but also insightful and honest. Thank you.

[avid fan]

Amazing recollections, thanks so much... looking forward to the continued progress on this to understand how things developed as you mention.

[Seductionrules]

Great description of your experiences.
Please keep writing.

[Jeremie11231]

Thanks, guys! I feel like you really get it. Will post more shortly.
@abrandnewstart - no, of course, by all means, post away -- love this: "Fear, shame, remorse, and craving are all part of a complicated dance, in my experience, but however great the other feelings, the craving is always the greatest and prevails in the end."

[Jeremie11231]

So now we’re up to earlier this year.

Emily kept having Josh over – he couldn’t have her over because of being married and his wife being okay with him having other sexual relationships, but just not at their home. So for him, it was always at our house. She also continued to go on dates with some other men – mostly isolated or brief connections, sometimes with sex. Those almost always involved her going to their place.

When Josh would come over, which was very sporadic, we would see each other and I’d make some polite conversation and try not to be awkward. I didn’t have any rules for how to interact with a guy when we both knew my wife was going to be sucking him in our bedroom as soon as the small talk was over. I felt embarrassed – he knew I could hear them and that I clearly accepted it. He knew from things Emily said to him in bed that she “wasn’t used to being filled up” like he did. Sometimes listening from the hallway I would hear him say the word “husband” while he was fucking her and she’d be moaning and respond some unintelligible thing and seem to respond even more to the fucking after hearing whatever he said. He was very polite to me outside the bedroom – I didn’t feel disrespected at all – it was just kind of obvious to both of us that he knew I had a pretty small dick and that he was taking her breath away and feeling her move on his cock in parts I’d never touched.

It wasn’t all about dick size, of course – she had a huge crush on him (she said he gave her “butterflies”) – he was very charming and intelligent, made her feel like a queen, and then put her in all kinds of positions as he made love to her from the inside out. You have to remember, too, that she is very small and he is a very big, tall guy.

Emily would tell me about their sex as I lay next to her masturbating, or she would give me a handjob. Sometimes sex, which was great. She enjoyed the fact that it turned me on and would often surprise me with the brutal honesty of her teasing.

Things would happen in waves. There were times when Emily hadn’t seen Josh or anyone else in a while, sometimes because our lives were just stressful and we had a lot going on. We also wouldn’t have much or any sex with each other during those times, and I would go through periods of feeling unhappy about that – and after knowing from hearing through the door how much she liked she with Josh, that unhappiness was mixed with jealousy and sullenness. I would get pretty depressed about it and feel like she didn’t actually have any sexual interest in me. She would always say she did and that she loved sex with me, but I would think that she was just leading me on and being dishonest, which just made me more irritable.

Then, of course, it would happen that we’d be in a place like that – not having had sex in a long time and not feeling very connected, sexually or otherwise, and then Josh would get in touch with her wanting to see her again. The first time that situation arose, we both kind of felt like it wasn’t good timing – that it was a bad idea for her to have sex with him or another man when we weren’t in a happy place and weren’t having sex ourselves. We both held an unspoken idea that it would never be a good idea for her to be having sex with another man or men more often than she had sex with me. So, she’d wait, we’d get to a better place, and then she’d invite Josh over.

It might have been just the next time that situation happened, but it played out differently. We hadn’t been having sex, things weren’t feeling sparkly or sexy at all, and she mentioned that she had been talking to Josh and was going to lunch with him that week. Then a few days later, it was that he was going to come over. It wasn’t exactly a question – more like informing me of evolving plans and giving me an opportunity to object. And I didn’t object. I felt some displeasure and anxiety about what it might mean for our relationship if she started having more sex with Josh (or anyone else) when we weren’t having sex. But I didn’t feel like having to own a veto of it. And I guess I also just thought it would be fine – I knew it was hard to find someone like Josh, who checked all the boxes, and when you find someone good like that, you don’t want to just let it fizzle out. So I didn’t object, just kind of acknowledged that that was going to happen. That whole exchange had a different flavor – something new. More coming from her desire to fuck Josh, and not contained within the box of this thing she and I were doing in our marriage.

And he came over as planned.
And he fucked her multiple times behind the locked bedroom door (they usually had sex 2 or 3 times in total when he came over).
I went through all the same emotions I did as I heard them – it was always so unbelievable, and every time a little different. And this time there was the added fact that I had not felt her pussy myself in weeks or even a month or two.
But instead of it being a bad thing, it turned out to be good for me – the next day I was totally snapped out of any depressed mood, and I felt this intense desire for Emily. And Emily was happy. Everyone was happy. Emily took note: definitely not a requirement to be having sex with me in order to invite Josh over. In fact, it might be the opposite – things improve at home when she does that.

Going forward, it wasn’t like sex with other guys was a fun kinky thing to spice up our sex life – it was something she needed regardless of whether we were even having sex or not. She kept on having sex with Josh. Once she realized she make plans even when it seemed like not the best time for it, and could have sex like that, and that I clearly wasn’t going to stand in the way of it, it set a ball rolling that continued to change our marriage. She started seeing sex with other men as something that she just naturally had a right to do.

We slowly (or very quickly? I can’t even say for sure) got to a place where it was just understood that she had total authority over who she has sex with, when, how much, what they do, etc. She just tells me when she’s making plans – she’ll check with me about scheduling conflicts as she’s making plans for a date, but it’s understood that whether it’s happening Tuesday night or Wednesday night, it’s happening.

I do remember at one point way earlier in our process we talked about some specific situations and agreed that she did not even have to tell me or talk to me about it before hooking up or having sex with a guy – if she was traveling for work or a conference, for instance, and something started happening with a guy she met, she could just tell me about it after the fact.

At first those conversations were about her having blanket permission to do what she wants and make new sexual connections with guys in those situations. But at some point, it became obvious that it wasn’t really me who was giving any kind of “permission” about anything, it was that she had the authority, and it wasn’t just a kinky pillow talk game, it was just the way it was, all the time, in the real world. The change happened so subtly that I didn’t even realize it until it was already just the way it was – that’s how so much of this has happened. And once it happens, you definitely can’t go back.

I did worry about becoming irrelevant to her, sexually. But she talked about how the fact she was married did a lot to enhance her sexual satisfaction, She liked demonstrating to others her power as a woman who had achieved sexual freedom. And she liked being able to make men like Josh feel like a sexual superstar who could give her things her husband could not.

So, from that place, she was in a position to really get settled into her freedom and feel comfortable using it. And things continued to evolve…

Will continue more soon.

[indianpair]

Awesome story. Just love it that she is unapologetically in love with his monster cock... Size does matter ;-)

[elina]

Dear Jeremie

Wonderful to hear how Emily evolved into a sexually liberated Lady who discovered that She could do this without objections from Her cuck-husband.

Just wonder, where you allowed to serve orally serve Her at this time?
Do you do know?

To me, there is nothing to keep emotions going between a Cuckoldress and Her Cuckold than having the cuck provide oral servise whenever the cuckoldress feels like it.

Looking forward to hear how this has evolved and what situation you are in now.

Sincerely
elina