KC and Nadia

[MyNadia]

Hello. I thought I would share my story.

I’m a married guy, living in NYC, in my early 50s and married over 20 years. My wife is a little younger and manages to stay very sexy and fit despite having twins years ago. She’s European and blonde and she has a killer body. I’ll find some photos for you.

She had an affair in the early years of our marriage, before we had children. At the time, it was pretty crushing and we nearly divorced but you must understand there was a lot going on back then. I was enthralled by her. She was worldly, extremely intelligent, sexy and intense. I couldn’t believe someone like her would go for a dweeb midwesterner like me. Looking back, I realize that I was also young and naive and didn’t see that in addition to her amazing qualities, she was a pretty damaged person. She had a weak mom and an awful father, not a good combination. You can imagine she carries a lot of pain which she tried to alleviate through substance abuse. The woman who I thought was so amazing was someone teetering on a serious breakdown.

The affair, in a way, saved us. Saved her really. The guy was an older respected professor at a major university in New York City who had a predilection for co-eds and cocaine. When I discovered what was happening, I was hurt and angry. I had tolerated a lot of crap already with her coming home high and drunk while I was ambitiously pursuing a Wall Street career. She had pushed beyond my limit and I remember talking with a friend and making the decision to leave her and cut my losses. We didn’t have kids so this marriage could just be my stupid youthful mistake.

But she gave zero resistance to my anger. She expressed deep remorse and when I said some terrible things to her, she just cried and accepted it and begged me not to leave her. She said she would change and I really didn’t believe her but I didn’t go because honestly, I was still infatuated with her. We would have these painful tearful talks and end up having passionate sex. She has an intellectual intensity that is gripping. It can make some people uncomfortable but for me, I was hooked.

Then, she proved how amazing she really is. She did change. She gave up the drugs 100%. For several years, she also gave up alcohol but we drink wine together now and occasionally to excess. She found a fantastic therapist to help her deal with her upbringing. Since then, our marriage has been wonderful and I’m so glad that I didn’t end it then. We have a wonderful family, the core source of my greatest joys.

Anyway, while I’m OK with what happened now, I’ve always considered myself among the cucked.

And now we’re entering the empty nest phase of our life and over the years, my views and sexual interests have changed. Increasingly, thoughts of her affair are not a source of pain but something that turns me on. After we went through so much pain, it was difficult for me to tell her my change of heart but we’ve talked about it. She’s even started to tell me details of that affair and memories of men previous to me to get me off while we have sex.

I said she was very fit and it’s true. She also is a bit vain and likes to dress to impress. I love when men notice her and men of all ages do. She’s naturally very friendly and I think some guys think she’s flirting but when I inquire later, she always reassures me that she has no interest in other men.

Am I crazy to want to explore this more with her? What questions should I be asking myself? Are there tell-tale signs that would tell me if we’re good or bad candidates for this type of relationship? Can we take baby steps?

Sorry for the long background information. I’m not sure what things to tell you all but I’d be happy to be responsive to questions as best I can.

[armyguyot1]

Welcome to the forum MyNadia. You will find you are not unique and are among friends.

[MyNadia]

Welcome to the forum MyNadia. You will find you are not unique and are among friends.

Thank you.

So the professor was in his 40s and she was in her 20s. I was working a lot and she was out partying in NYC, going to clubs etc and doing coke and other stuff. Honestly, while I know she was regularly fucking him, I wouldn't be surprised to learn there were lots of others during that period. She says no but I'm not even sure what she remembers. The prof stood out because I knew him and hung out with him and it was a real affair where they saw each other regularly. He was obviously very intelligent, even if fucked up himself, and I think they connected in some intense intellectual way. For a while, I had violent vengeful fantasies about him but now I feel bad about it because he really did end up being a train wreck, lost his wife and kids and his prestigious job before getting rehab.

I'd like to tell you he had a huge dick and made her into a sex demon but I don't think that would be accurate. She says his dick size was normal, she doesn't recall it being much different. What he did have was a willingness to go out, party and give her drugs she desired. He was into public sex and that happened a lot a lot a lot. They also engaged in FMF threesomes on more than one occasion. Something she and I have never done.

I did post some pics and you can see that she's aged well. She did get her boobs done a few years after kids and those are certainly eye-catching and she likes showing them off. She's an addictive personality but she's directed that energy positively so she's crazy into fitness and health now. She also is part owner of a beauty parlor, nail salon, massage place and puts a lot of time into making sure it runs smoothly.

[MyNadia]

So last night I did something a little subversive…and it worked to a degree.

Nadia was doing holiday shopping with a friend all afternoon, including a fancy tea in Midtown NYC. I saw a selfie they took and I saw that Nadia was looking pretty good. A dress, knee length, and a nice tight holiday sweater with her boobs looking fantastic. We were meeting for dinner at a favorite steakhouse-a famous place-to celebrate something for me.

The subversive thing I did was intentionally show up late. I told her I’d be there in 5 minutes (my office is very close) and to wait at the bar. In addition, I called the restaurant-they know me there-and had them serve her a glass of champagne while she waited. I left her waiting there for about 45 minutes.

Sure enough, a guy talked to her. I knew it would be crowded, lots of people out at this time of year. When I arrived, she was sitting at the bar but spun around to face this guy. I was able to hide a bit at the other end of the bar and watch for a few minutes. He was much younger, I’d guess early 30s. Dark curly hair. A suit. Athletic build. It was loud and he was leaning in close to talk to her and I could see that he would touch her arm when he leaned in. Drinking a martini and I could see she now had a martini, too (yes, his purchase). He was with several friends-I learned later that they had their company Christmas party that afternoon (Done by 8pm? The working world just isn’t that fun anymore…)

Unfortunately, the bartender saw me and notified Nadia and she waved me over. The guy was nice, we shook hands and we talked a little. He lives not far from us on the upper east side. He didn’t chat long before he turned back to his friends.

I asked Nadia about him and she shrugged it off. I didn’t say anything more about it until we were on dessert and both feeling the wine we’d shared. I kept it playful asking if she thought he was hot. If she was stuck on a desert island with him, would she go for it? (“Eventually probably”) How about a broken elevator? (“Absolutely not, there’s cameras!”) She was laughing and playful about it and I told her she should have gotten his number. She laughed and said “maybe she did” (I don’t think so).

While we were having sex later, I brought him up again and she was like “You’re really serious about liking this idea?” I just said I was. She then talked about how cute the guy was, his sexy lips and smile. I came fast then, before her, with her talking about him. I then went down on her and I asked her to think of him and she said she did but for all I know she was thinking about how hot it was to spend so much on Christmas shopping that day.

Do you think this is something I should keep trying to push for?

[lockedhappyhubby]

Nadia's reactions and feedback seem positive I know I'd keep the conversation going.
And yes, She's gorgeous! Lucky dog you.
Cheers.

[goodjob]

As long as everything is positive and you are openly talking about it, keep it up. Obviously, the communication is the most important part. Seems you guys learned that lesson the first go round. Good luck!

[Archie457]

Since you asked, I would be very, very careful. You say she has an addictive personality? The lifestyle is addictive. The hallmark of addiction is loss of control. I am not saying it can't nt work for you. I just think you are playing with fire to a greater than other folks because she already has an addictive personality. And there are children inolved now.

[MyNadia]

Nadia's reactions and feedback seem positive I know I'd keep the conversation going.
And yes, She's gorgeous! Lucky dog you.
Cheers.

Thank you. Yeah, hard for me to stop when she seems to be having fun at this stage.

As long as everything is positive and you are openly talking about it, keep it up. Obviously, the communication is the most important part. Seems you guys learned that lesson the first go round. Good luck!

I hear you. I actually had the thought that it would have been hot to somehow set her up in the bar last night. Make an online connection with a bull and have him go hit on her without her knowledge. But of course, that could be a horrible disaster and that's not what I'm looking for. Need her full and committed involvement.

Since you asked, I would be very, very careful. You say she has an addictive personality? The lifestyle is addictive. The hallmark of addiction is loss of control. I am not saying it can't nt work for you. I just think you are playing with fire to a greater than other folks because she already has an addictive personality. And there are children inolved now.

I agree that I have to be very careful. She's smart and tough but has a history, too. I don't need to mess us, or her, up. I hadn't thought of how this could appeal to her adrenaline seeking thirst but you're right. As far as the kids go, I think we're safe from them knowing much. They're older now, we're almost empty nesters and they're involved in their own things.


Very very much appreciate feedback and thoughts!

[BallSpanking]

Let it happen organically, don't push for anything or anyone specific. Last night's setup worked nicely, but I think Nadia is still clueless as to how to flirt now as a cougar. Practice.

[MyNadia]

Let it happen organically, don't push for anything or anyone specific. Last night's setup worked nicely, but I think Nadia is still clueless as to how to flirt now as a cougar. Practice.

Appreciate the guidance.

She wasn't involved in this but last night I was at a bar watching the NFL game and I switched my phone screen saver to a sexier photo of Nadia. I would leave it casually on the bar so other guys would notice. The guy next to me, young guy, asked if she was my wife and we talked about her a little. Normal stuff about where she's from, her job, our family etc. I was trying to think of somehow trying to connect him to her but I didn't think of anything but at home later, I masturbated about the idea of him pounding her.

Now that I've been thinking more about this hotwife idea, I'm starting to kind of get obsessive about it. I've always been in awe of her beauty and intelligence and intensity. I've worshipped her, this would take it to another level.

[BallSpanking]

A word of caution ... Be aware at all times that this is your obsession, not hers.
For all their intensity, all your fantasies and ideations of Nadia's sexual frenzy are in your head, and not anywhere else.
Many HW hopeful husbands seem oblivious to the fact that most of this is in their imagination, and present the wife with an advanced cuckolding/hotwifing proposition that freaks the wife out, and damages the possibilities of it ever developing.

The underlying reason for all of this is what should be the basic tenet and purpose of hotwifing, enhancing your wife's loving experiences, allowing her to live out some of her fantasies within the safety and support of a marriage, encouraged and supported by her husband. So, in short, if she does not get any enjoyment from it, and does it solely to please her husband ... that is a problem from the get-go. Focusing on her preferences, rather than yours (at least at the outset), is much more productive, less intimidating for a neophyte HW who is learning to flirt again ...

PS-
Be ready for her to take the reins in hand once it does happen.
Many HW husbands are disconcerted to find out they aren't in the driver's seat.

[BallSpanking]

Bump

[MyNadia]

Not much to tell you this week but I have two questions.

How much does the cuck’s sense of inadequacy fuel the desire? When I look deep inside, I know that I’ve never been a great lover. Nadia is with me for entirely different reasons than sex or even passion. Very, very, good reasons but those reasons make me a “smart choice” as a husband. We enjoy our sex life together but I know that it's probably better described as “nice”, or “really good” or sometimes “loving and tender” but I’ve always suspected that with men before me or when she was promiscuous, there was more of an animal lust. A lust from her that I’ve never really experienced. I see venturing into this lifestyle as a way for me to experience that and also give her a sexually fulfilling life but maybe I should be trying harder to be a better lover and “be my own bull”?

And then how do you deal with the jealousy of the non-sexual part of a hotwife and bull relationship? I see posts on here about hotwives going on trips and dates. I think I might be more jealous of that type of time together more than just fucking. If the relationship becomes more than sexual, there’s real bonding and I could be losing part of her.

[BallSpanking]

HW husbands may have many and different motivations for encouraging hotwifing, and certainly size is one of the commonly cited factors (I think we can include performance in that category too). Many find that increasing their creativity and physical fitness can improve their performance, but there are limits to what can be expected. A 6" cock will never increase in size, it cannot be used in the same way as a 9"-10" cock, and that also has a direct bearing on objective aspects of performance. Some HW's complain they cannot ride their husbands (cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, or doggie) because they lack the endowment ... So self improvement is commendable, but can only take you so far.

[4herpleasure89]

I don’t think feelings of inadequacy are universal or even necessary for a cuckold relationship. Suffice that you don’t provide the endless variety that’s makes this fetish so exciting. I don’t feel degrading yourself is the direction I would take. Rather I would let her know that she has your permission to enjoy herself with others and explore with your enthusiastic blessing, provided that this is always about the two of you, your adventure. You aren’t looking to ditch her or find another woman to replace the queen you already have.

[MyNadia]

I don’t think feelings of inadequacy are universal or even necessary for a cuckold relationship. Suffice that you don’t provide the endless variety that’s makes this fetish so exciting. I don’t feel degrading yourself is the direction I would take. Rather I would let her know that she has your permission to enjoy herself with others and explore with your enthusiastic blessing, provided that this is always about the two of you, your adventure. You aren’t looking to ditch her or find another woman to replace the queen you already have.

YES

HW husbands may have many and different motivations for encouraging hotwifing, and certainly size is one of the commonly cited factors (I think we can include performance in that category too). Many find that increasing their creativity and physical fitness can improve their performance, but there are limits to what can be expected. A 6" cock will never increase in size, it cannot be used in the same way as a 9"-10" cock, and that also has a direct bearing on objective aspects of performance. Some HW's complain they cannot ride their husbands (cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, or doggie) because they lack the endowment ... So self improvement is commendable, but can only take you so far.

Sad reality...





She told me that a guy may have hit on her. I am going to try to carefully avoid any third rails and not be specific about political parties but I will say that Nadia is involved in politics. She has volunteered for different campaigns and enjoys going to hear different speakers and living in NYC, there’s always some event happening.

After a speaker event last night, a small group she’s worked with went out for drinks. But there was some kind of mix up about locations and the group ended up splitting and Nadia ended up alone with a young man. (When I heard this story, I wondered if somehow the guy created the “mix up”) He works at a major insurance company and is in his early 30s. She said they discussed politics and his apartment which he’s thinking about buying (rents now). She said he was a gentleman and nice. When they were saying good night and she thanked him for paying the tab, he said something like “beautiful women should never have to pay for their own drinks.” They shook hands good night.

She said that thinking over their conversation, he had mentioned that he lived nearby and in talking about his apartment, he said that she should come see it. She wonders if he had been hinting for her to come over that night.

I asked her if she was interested and she laughed and said no. He’s handsome but not particularly “compelling”. She asked yet again how serious I am about this and when I said I think its for real, she said she thinks we ought to wait a while to see if my feelings stay that way. I was a little surprised by that. She didn’t say no way.

[BallSpanking]

Nadia's answer is tantalizing ...
It is a conditional 'yes'.
She would consider it ... with someone more "compelling".
... If you remain steadfast and supportive ... This could happen.
That is very encouraging.
Happy Holidays!

[BallSpanking]

Bump

[MyNadia]

I’ve been quietly reading all of your stories and discussions. I really want to pursue this.

We’re down in Key West for the holidays. We have a small condo down here. Meeting up with some friends and some cousins. Made it out for drinks one night and I’ve become more acutely aware of the attention she gets. She had on tight white jean shorts and an open sweater over a tight white tank top. Heads turn, guys look her over. I’ve always known guys were interested but shrugged it off. Now, I get excited. When I mention it to her, she just laughs. She wants to know why I’ve suddenly become so interested in this idea.

[BallSpanking]

... Obviously because you are laser focused on making her as happy as you possibly can.
(If she saw your browser's history, she would have her answer)

If she asks, you can tell her truthfully that you can't help noticing the way men look at her when she is in public. The way they undress her with their eyes, and look on wistfully, shifting their cock to relieve the growing pressure (girls love to make wood).

[MyNadia]

A little New Year’s Eve incident.

We were at a party being thrown by good friends down in Key West. I’d guess as many as 100 people, a nice group, mostly older, our age. However, our hosts have a son, Laurent, who is 27 and was in attendance. He’s a tall white guy, long dark brown hair to his shoulders and combed to the side, kind of wavy. Dark eyes and he wears glasses. He’s currently a grad student studying music in NYC where we live. Formerly an ivy league crew athlete. We’ve known him since he was kid and he was a bit nerdy but matured into a handsome, intelligent guy. He could easily be a lady killer but he’s a bit reserved and honestly, I had thought he might be gay.

At the party, he and Nadia got talking and got along well. She was wearing a nice black dress, cut just above the knees and a square front with her boobs pushed up a bit. Looking good. After they spoke for a while, they separated and I spoke to him some. He seemed a little inebriated and when I said that Nadia seemed to enjoy his conversation, he looked a bit stricken like I had caught him in some way. But I just said I’m sure she enjoyed the conversation, she usually gets very impatient and bored at these parties and I told him that she probably liked speaking to a guy like him. I put a hand on his shoulder and said something like “Please talk to her more, she’ll be entertained and won’t be bothering me to go home early.”

He seemed happy to comply and I saw them together for much of the rest of the evening. They even danced some although I didn’t observe anything risque. And they did karaoke together which they were very good at. At one point, when he was in the restroom, Nadia came and spoke to me and she told me that he had told her that I had said to entertain her. She asked what I was trying to do. I laughed and said that I just wanted her to have fun but we gave each other a knowing look. I told her that at midnight, I’d be OK if she was near him, not me, for that new year’s kiss.

At midnight, I didn’t know where she was. I was so turned on and excited, imagining him aggressively fucking her in a bedroom somewhere. As we all celebrated, I gave polite kisses and hugs to people around me as we all sang the song but my head was in that room with them fucking.

Of course, my imagination was way ahead of itself. By 12:02, Nadia had found me, her young admirer in tow and she gave me a new years toast and I toasted her and Laurent. Not long after, we were on our way home in an Uber.

The Uber ride home, for me, added another interesting wrinkle. We were in the backseat but I was so excited to know what had happened at midnight that I asked her as the driver drove up front. She was a little embarrassed and said she’d tell me when we got home but I said, no it's OK, please tell me now. I saw her look up front and make eye contact with the driver through the rearview mirror.

Then she told me that as it neared midnight, Laurent took her to a balcony outside where he said they would be able to see fireworks. She was a little cold and she stood close to him and pulled his arm around her. His hand was over hers over her middle. At midnight, they toasted, took a drink of champagne and then he leaned in for a polite, close mouthed kiss but Nadia, knowing what I wanted, put her hand around his head and held him for a moment, and parted her lips for a longer kiss. He responded enthusiastically and began to kiss her open mouthed. They kept at it, kissing more and more for a minute when his hands began to feel her chest. She then stopped him. She told him, no, that I was nearby and she apologized if she had misled him. She blamed it on the champagne saying he’s very handsome but she’s married and he’s her good friend’s son. Laurent said he understood and that he was thankful that he got to have the kiss he did. When he said that, he leaned in and they kissed again. He told her how he’s always thought she was beautiful but after another 30 seconds of kissing, she pulled away again, took his hand and led him inside to find me.

As she spoke, I watched the Uber driver. He was a young guy, hispanic. I told her how sexy it was and how turned on I was. She told me how naughty I was and laughed. Then, I leaned over and we made out some. The driver never said anything and when we left the car, he just watched us. I gave him a smile through the window after I closed the door.

Inside, we tore off each other's clothes and had the most passionate sex we’ve had in years. I felt like I was 25 again, so anxious to get to her body and to relieve the ache of my erection. I fucked her while she was still wearing the dress. We didn’t mention Laurent but I know we were both thinking about it. After we both orgasmed, we were exhausted and went to sleep.

We talked about it the next morning while we laid in bed. She said it was a one time adventure, not a new direction. She saw that I was hard just from us having the conversation and she reached over and stroked me and she told me what she liked about him. His dark eyes, sexy lips, tall and athletic. He’s intelligent, well-read and polite and obviously wanted her. She told me how she liked him squeezing her breasts and how she so deeply wanted to go further with him. Then, I came.

He’s texted her since but it's just been very polite stuff about how he enjoyed spending time with her and he looked forward to seeing her again in the city, maybe they could go to an art exhibit they had talked about. She replied that she had a nice time too and she looked forward to seeing him again but she ignored the invite. I told her to go but she told me no that it really was just a one time fun adventure.

[Gulfcpl]

The seed has been planted and watered. If I were you, I’d back off and let nature take its course. The guy has been texting her. She knows fully your obsession. From here, it’s her decision. If you push too hard, it will cause a problem between the two of you. It must be, and I repeat, must be about her, not you. Earlier in this thread, Ballspanking had some great advice about husbands that make it all about themselves. Take that advice and will will serve you well.

[BallSpanking]

Hey Mikey ... She likes it!

And you mentioned he is local to you and Nadia ...
Maybe the young man would enjoy some 'home cooking'.
Nadia enjoyed him, why not invite him over, and make yourself scarce ...?

[54321]

Mmmm!

54321

[BallSpanking]

So ... Is Nadia still receiving texts from the young man?
Is she a good cook ...?