How to cope with no info before 3-some my partner set up

[TheGreyZone]

OK, so after a long while of occasional talks about my partner doing something to fulfil some of my cravings and fantasies, she recently told me one night that she had made plans for me with one of her regular partners. I thought she was teasing and joking around, maybe trying to test the waters. But she immediately claimed, and still claims, this is for real.

This particular partner, let’s call him G, is someone she has been exploring a lot of BDSM and kinkier stuff. I never knew exactly what they did before but from what she has told me there has been quite a lot of dominance play with ropes, whips and other accessories. This has been a bit tough for me to handle since we came into our current dynamic from me being Dom and her the sub, and to add to that I’ve been angry about her exploring some things with him that she either didn’t do with me before or that she refuses to do with me now.

Anyway, back to the current issue. That night, over a bottle of wine, she told me they had begun to make plans for a night that would include me. I know she has a fantasy about dominating 2 men at the same time and as G also likes to switch she obviously saw this as a good opportunity to involve me.

When I understood this wasn’t just a tease, and got over the shock, I honestly told her that it wasn’t quite what I wanted but if she demanded it I would comply. So the next day I asked if I was allowed to make suggestions or wishes for this meet-up, and she said ok.

So, what I basically would want is them both being dominant over me, and if there was a difference between them I would prefer him being dominant over her, but I could accept the other way around. Another thing i’m craving right now, and something I know would make this alot easier for me, is if she takes a very hard, sadistic stance towards me during this. The more humiliation and sadistic she is towards me, the better!

She said she would think about it and discuss it with G. This was a couple of weeks ago and I haven’t heard anything about it since then.

Now, I don’t see this event as likely to happen as it would require that we find a babysitter and that is a big problem for us. The few friends we have are not interested or we don’t feel they are suitable to watch our kid. But it’s exciting for the both of us to think and fantasize about what the evening would entail.

I asked her If I could know anything in advance but the only thing she has told me so far is that they decided that she would go to G’s place first and then they would let me know when I could join them.

In general I have a very hard time coping with surprises and going into situations without knowing anything about it before. This is just who I am and how my mind works. When it’s something sexual my anxiety gets even worse not knowing anything.

So, long question short - does anyone have any good advice that would help me handle this, even if they decide they won’t tell me anymore?

[ucaneffher]

Tough one but I feel that I would just suck it up and be grateful that I am being included, finally. I would likely just roll with it and try to enjoy the most of out it. Just be sure to tell her your boundaries and learn hers as well. For me, as long as there is no man on man action, that is all that I enforce. Anything else within reason I am open for them to surprise me.