I read an article that said "cutting back resolutions" are doomed to fail. It suggested adding what you want in the alternative.
I am really wanting to connect with my wife in a way that is arousing to her. She tolerates my kink, but it is often a bit of a buzz kill for her. (complicated story... she loves to flirt, has been open minded about sex clubs and group sex, and has cheated a couple times, but somehow my kink rubs her wrong, and no amount of open conversation has improved it) I have been having a harder and harder time getting a boner without cuckold talk. I have failed in the past when I have tried to cut back on fantasy. There is a bit of a vicious circle, as I please her less and less as I get more dependant on talk, and pleasing her less intensifies my fantasy of someone else pleasing her.
My new plan (working well for a laughably short 3 days) is to increase my focus on things that will make it easier to please her as she loves (and she really does love sex) to be pleased.
I only allow myself porn if I have had a substantial workout and have done my PT (there is a tv in my home gym). When I get the urge to masturbate, I work on the honey-do list. I am really focussing on spending my time working towards our shared dreams. I really hope I can get a little better control over this by focussing on adding things that would normally get put off when I am indulging in my fantasies.
Has anyone else found success in redirecting energy? I am not looking to extinguish my kink. I am just looking to manage it in a way that does not interfere with my wonderful wife's pleasure. I would love to hear ideas!