Advice for a first experience

[leo-cpl]

Looking for advice from experienced cpls n hubbys. Thanks for reading.

Just to give a brief background wife and I have been a HW cpl (she's 43 and I'm 47) for over 3 years, played with 3 cpls and 8 single guys. She doesn't have anyone exclusive, its something we are not looking for. Out of the 8 guys I have been around in the room/around watching and joining (every single time except her first time).

Off late we are exploring (me really keen to try) the idea of a bull cuckolding me (just making me watch), she usually prefer I join eventually but half heartedly open to this idea. We do not want to try this with any of the guys we have played with (although 2 of them are kinky bulls but with us they are vanilla coz she's kinda vanilla) so they play within her comfort zones.

We recently chatted with someone online (he's in a different city a 2 hr flight but visits our city 3-4 times a year on work) he's 40 and a self professed bull and like to make the hubby's watch. She's been chatting with him on n off (she's apprehensive about chatting too regularly, says she doesn't want to make friends but at the same time wants to see what the guy is all about).

I feel this guy is the perfect match, he's a lil more "openly" kinky compared to other guys she's chatted with, wife is not overly excited but says she can chat more with him when his plans of visiting are fixed and I on the other hand want her to chat n explore if she likes the guys but the chat soon leads to kinky chat and that's seriously off the table for the Mrs, she doesn't like sexting and she has explained it to the guy. He has both wife and I on messenger and chats separately (obviously more keen to chat with the Mrs.

Irrespective of how much he chats and what they chat if we meet him in person and wife doesn't like him or gets bad vibes the entire thing is called off, we usually meet once casually for a drink maybe even twice if needed.

My question to friends here, is there anyway I can help the situation? Make it more favorable......maybe nudge things or get wife to explore flirting or being very friendly??? Happy to answer any questions......Thanks very much.

[emca753]

Looking for advice from experienced cpls n hubbys. Thanks for reading.

Just to give a brief background wife and I have been a HW cpl (she's 43 and I'm 47) for over 3 years, played with 3 cpls and 8 single guys. She doesn't have anyone exclusive, its something we are not looking for. Out of the 8 guys I have been around in the room/around watching and joining (every single time except her first time).

Off late we are exploring (me really keen to try) the idea of a bull cuckolding me (just making me watch), she usually prefer I join eventually but half heartedly open to this idea. We do not want to try this with any of the guys we have played with (although 2 of them are kinky bulls but with us they are vanilla coz she's kinda vanilla) so they play within her comfort zones.

We recently chatted with someone online (he's in a different city a 2 hr flight but visits our city 3-4 times a year on work) he's 40 and a self professed bull and like to make the hubby's watch. She's been chatting with him on n off (she's apprehensive about chatting too regularly, says she doesn't want to make friends but at the same time wants to see what the guy is all about).

I feel this guy is the perfect match, he's a lil more "openly" kinky compared to other guys she's chatted with, wife is not overly excited but says she can chat more with him when his plans of visiting are fixed and I on the other hand want her to chat n explore if she likes the guys but the chat soon leads to kinky chat and that's seriously off the table for the Mrs, she doesn't like sexting and she has explained it to the guy. He has both wife and I on messenger and chats separately (obviously more keen to chat with the Mrs.

Irrespective of how much he chats and what they chat if we meet him in person and wife doesn't like him or gets bad vibes the entire thing is called off, we usually meet once casually for a drink maybe even twice if needed.

My question to friends here, is there anyway I can help the situation? Make it more favorable......maybe nudge things or get wife to explore flirting or being very friendly??? Happy to answer any questions......Thanks very much.

If you are not chastitied get a comfortable chastity device; when my wife and her boytoy spent the night I was on the couch and if I masturbated I had 10 seconds of ecxtasy, followed by an hour of envy and jealousy, a chastity device allows you to keep your arousal all night

[leo-cpl]

Looking for advice from experienced cpls n hubbys. Thanks for reading.

Just to give a brief background wife and I have been a HW cpl (she's 43 and I'm 47) for over 3 years, played with 3 cpls and 8 single guys. She doesn't have anyone exclusive, its something we are not looking for. Out of the 8 guys I have been around in the room/around watching and joining (every single time except her first time).

Off late we are exploring (me really keen to try) the idea of a bull cuckolding me (just making me watch), she usually prefer I join eventually but half heartedly open to this idea. We do not want to try this with any of the guys we have played with (although 2 of them are kinky bulls but with us they are vanilla coz she's kinda vanilla) so they play within her comfort zones.

We recently chatted with someone online (he's in a different city a 2 hr flight but visits our city 3-4 times a year on work) he's 40 and a self professed bull and like to make the hubby's watch. She's been chatting with him on n off (she's apprehensive about chatting too regularly, says she doesn't want to make friends but at the same time wants to see what the guy is all about).

I feel this guy is the perfect match, he's a lil more "openly" kinky compared to other guys she's chatted with, wife is not overly excited but says she can chat more with him when his plans of visiting are fixed and I on the other hand want her to chat n explore if she likes the guys but the chat soon leads to kinky chat and that's seriously off the table for the Mrs, she doesn't like sexting and she has explained it to the guy. He has both wife and I on messenger and chats separately (obviously more keen to chat with the Mrs.

Irrespective of how much he chats and what they chat if we meet him in person and wife doesn't like him or gets bad vibes the entire thing is called off, we usually meet once casually for a drink maybe even twice if needed.

My question to friends here, is there anyway I can help the situation? Make it more favorable......maybe nudge things or get wife to explore flirting or being very friendly??? Happy to answer any questions......Thanks very much.

If you are not chastitied get a comfortable chastity device; when my wife and her boytoy spent the night I was on the couch and if I masturbated I had 10 seconds of ecxtasy, followed by an hour of envy and jealousy, a chastity device allows you to keep your arousal all night

Thanks but not looking for a pure cuck experience......no chastity device, just for an experienced bull making my wife his slut, enjoying and making me watch

[ugcp]

It sounds like you want to experiment with a new power dynamic. Is that the case?

It has been my experience that it is generally difficult to "artificially" maneuver relationships or sessions toward a power dynamic that doesn't feel natural, or that differs from a long-established one. It can feel awkward and uncomfortable, which is pretty unsexy. Some people can roll with those situations, while others might shut down.

It concerns me that you in your description it was indicated that while you're keen on it, your wife is only half heartedly open to it.

I would recommend you have tons of discussions, followed by 1-on-1 sessions and perhaps role-playing between you two,where you explore this novel power dynamic. If you can make THAT feel more comfortable and natural, then maybe bringing in a 3rd in a cuckold-scenario capacity would work well. I just worry that starting from a half-hearted point and hoping the introduction of the 3rd will suddenly change your wife's view (and feelings, and arousal response) might not work very smoothly. Most likely, you guys would just revert to the familiar and comfortable (non-cuckolding dynamic) instead, which I suppose wouldn't be disastrous, but maybe not ideal (at least for your fantasy).

Things of a sexual natural just tend to work better when everyone is fully on board and excited.

[iloanmywife]

I would recommend you have tons of discussions, followed by 1-on-1 sessions and perhaps role-playing between you two,where you explore this novel power dynamic. If you can make THAT feel more comfortable and natural, then maybe bringing in a 3rd in a cuckold-scenario capacity would work well.

I second this advice.

[iloanmywife]

...she's apprehensive about chatting too regularly, says she doesn't want to make friends...

...wife is not overly excited but says she can chat more with him when his plans of visiting are fixed...chat soon leads to kinky chat and that's seriously off the table for the Mrs, she doesn't like sexting and she has explained it to the guy...

For us, texting (and sexting) is foreplay, and our best first dates have been when my wife has been totally engaged through messaging and calls. Some of our worst first dates have been situations where I've done most or all of the messaging and she hasn't been involved.

If your wife isn't keen on the cuckold thing then it might not be enjoyable for her. If she's willing to give it a try then it will be a lot more enjoyable for you if you make it enjoyable for her.

My question to friends here, is there anyway I can help the situation? Make it more favorable......maybe nudge things or get wife to explore flirting or being very friendly??? Happy to answer any questions......Thanks very much.

The best thing you can do, short of convincing your wife to message more, is to bridge the communication gap. Like ugcp said, discuss fantasy scenarios with your wife and see which scenarios turn her on the most. Relay any conversations you have with the new guy back to your wife, to make sure that she feels invested in this and to make sure that she's aligned with what you and the new guy are discussing. You don't want a situation where you and he are talking about certain dynamics and she's not in the same place. Being that intermediary should hopefully give you and your wife some new fantasy material.

There are an infinite number of cuckold-themed things you can do beyond a vanilla MFM threesome. You could kneel beside the bed and hold her hand. Maybe you stand in a corner of the room, facing the corner with your pants down and your hands at your sides. Or you watch, fully dressed from a chair across the room. Or from outside the room. You could lie naked on the bed next to her, but not participating. Maybe she'd like to have compersion sex with you, where she makes out with you while she fucks him, and you masturbate to orgasm, timing it so that you both cum together. Or maybe she wants you to wait and go down on her afterward. Does she want to have reconnection sex after they're done, or make you wait until you get home? Will he be subtly dominant with you, perhaps telling you to hand him lube and drip it on her, or spreading her ass cheeks to show you how much he's stretching her. Or perhaps he'll ignore you altogether even as he walks into the room, not saying a word to you the entire night.

We've done every single one of those variations and they're all fun and exciting. It depends on the mood in the room -- especially hers. Get your wife's input during pillow talk and see what turns her on (and off).

[AngiesHusband]

open communication is very, very, very important - if she doesn't feel the vibes then don't try and nudge things along just respect what she wishes

and trust has to be a solid foundation, without that there can't be anything positive that can come out of it

we learned the lesson about trust the hard way...