Once cuckolding begins is there any going back?

[vmb69]

I must say that as Americans we have a belief of freedom but we sure put a lot of restrictions and religious baggage on our lives. I for one I'm glad I was raised in a way that was not so Puritan and to believe that sex was a normal thing and as long as it's done consensually and for pleasure, what ever that entails, it's perfectly fine.

[stevens4fun]

Sorry for the length of this. I'm 76 and my wife is 66. We married when she was 29 [edited for me earlier typo], me 40. She'd been divorced from her husband she married at age 16 (pretty much to get out of the house), divorced him in her mid-20s. No children. I was divorced as well (children living with my ex), so we were both experienced when we met. She been divorced over a decade and was dating 4 men, two regularly, and two of them on and off. She liked being able to invite any of them over to her home (which she owned) for an evening of no-strings sex when she was horny. With three local guys on the string and her own home, she could get laid on short notice pretty much any time she wanted to. One of the four men she was dating was a married black coworker who lived about 200 miles upstate and she saw him about every three weeks for what she still says was the best orgasms she ever had. He was special to her, but neither he nor my wife wanted to break up his marriage so it just remained a FWB regular scenario. His wife knew he was having sex with my wife and she was ok with it, even encouraged it as she enjoyed having him out of the house for an evening so that (in her words to my wife and I) she could get some sleep. About 8 years later, a pregnancy scare made his wife think twice about his nights out with my wife and the relationship grew less and less frequent and finally came to an end. When my wife and I married, I knew about him and encouraged her to continue the relationship. It turned me on although I never got to join them or watch. He never came down to our house, despite my wife inviting him.

My wife stopped seeing her other three dates shortly before we married, going out with the last of them about three weeks before we married. We had already discussed lovers for her - she was delighted to learn that I would be interested in her enjoying other men on a regular basis and that it would turn me on, and so my wife invited another coworker in the local division to our home on a regular basis. She'd already had oral sex with him on their lunch break and both of them wanted to "go all the way." I wanted them to "go all the way" too and suggested to my wife that she invite the gentleman to our home while I was out of town for work and see what could happen. He became a lover for about 9 years, taking her regularly in our marital bed. My work was 50% travel so he'd stay with my wife frequently. Sometimes we had threesomes, sometimes I slept elsewhere.

There was one other guy who was in our bed with her for about 5 years and she was in love with him - she was upfront with me and told me that she loved him but assured me she could love two men and our marriage would not suffer. She also knew that I was loving all of this, and she never really had to worry about our marriage. That said, it was still a very emotional thing, especially for her as they'd grown close and (in her words) were very in tune with one another's bodies. We both wanted the extra men in her/our life and we did just about everything two men and a woman can do as well as her doing everything a man and a woman can do. We would both do it all again, but more of it. The thing is.....

In our little blog, we read and write a lot about extreme cuckolding and hotwifing, but over the long haul those activities don't work like we fantasize them working. Few people talk about his in here, which should tell us that most of what we are reading is fantasy. Dealing with work and family creates challenges as far as creating the time to play like we all like to play and really enjoy it. It's not something we can do every night or every weekend unless we sacrifice something else so we all need to be good calendar planners, and we shouldn't get jealous or miffed if our wife isn't around when we want to spend time with her or have sex with her. After all, we agreed this kind of fun was what we wanted to do and most of us encouraged our wifes to enjoy other guys. The time to see her BF or lover has to come from somewhere and she's going to need a ton of support to make it all work. If a man is going to be in our home (and in our wife) frequently, he'll need to be explained to family and/or friends at some point and there's no secrets - at some point people will know. My wife's BF showed up one Saturday morning unannounced, after golf, and we had family visiting us. He'd had a few beers, of course, AND he had his 3 golf buddies with him. The BF felt that Saturday am would be ok, as that's when we usually played.......Thankfully those dumbasses didn't let the cat out of the bag and we were able to shoo them away for the moment.

"Out-of-town coworkers" using our spare bedroom worked wonders for us. They weren't really from "out 0f town" though..... Sometimes hotels have to be used (for various reasons) but that's ok as long as we can afford them. Although my wife has had a few rewarding one-offs with single guys, married men are her preference so that eliminates the man's home as a place to go for fun.

We are still together and happy 30+ years later. We get a lot of good laughs about some of the situations we found ourselves in! :-))))) Menopause has slowed things considerably, however. Have your fun while you can!

[Bluetoed]

I'm 76 and my wife is 66. We married when she was 39, me 40.

Is this that "new" math?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

I'm 76 and my wife is 66. We married when she was 39, me 40.

Is this that "new" math?

Common Core maths has really done a number on you Americans

[snooper56]

Two ways to look at that. The zero is right next to the nine, so could have been a typo. Or, it's keeping her young and aging him.

[stevens4fun]

Typo. Good catch! She "39" should be 29.

[SRKnight]

When we married I told my wife that I’d love for her to be a hot wife but she was skeptical. Not long afterwards she met an ex-boyfriend who visiting from out of town. After a few meetings she told me she had seen him and I assured her that I was fine with it. She said “Do you really want me to be a cheating wife for sure”? I said I did and she said she would be doing it but not to tell her to stop in a few months. That she had given up his big cock once and wasn’t going to again.

[LongTermHubby]

In our case, there was no going back. My wife made it clear she would stay in the marriage only as long as I acquiesced to her seeing other men.

[PANTIES]

It would be impossible to go back as my wife is pregnant with his baby.

sissy pauline

[JaySmith]

I regretted diving into this lifestyle at such a young age. Wife was 22 when we started.

[BallSpanking]

I regretted diving into this lifestyle at such a young age. Wife was 22 when we started.

What is it you regret about it?

[JaySmith]

I regretted diving into this lifestyle at such a young age. Wife was 22 when we started.

What is it you regret about it?

I feel me and my wife should have wait until we are in ours late 30 or early 40. We would have more time to work on our marriage. I’m fairly mature as I am a bit older than her. I always feel guilty for leading us into this addiction

[BallSpanking]

I feel me and my wife should have wait until we are in ours late 30 or early 40. We would have more time to work on our marriage. I’m fairly mature as I am a bit older than her. I always feel guilty for leading us into this addiction

Is the addiction hers, or is it yours? Or is it both?
Are you afraid it has established the sexual dynamic for your marriage?
Will she still want your children?

[JaySmith]

That’s the thing. She told me she don’t think she’d want to get pregnant with me, as her quoted “I don’t want my kids to have a submissive gene”. If I do wish to have a chance of having sex with her, I’d have to commit to vasectomy because she doesn’t want to risk it.

[BallSpanking]

... I guess she's thinking of having boys.
Would you be the dad?
It sounds like she's looking for a permanent Alpha.

[little sissy Benita]

That's a difficult question - and not easy to answer. Think it depends. Maybe also how long the cuckold is submissive and i which way.

At first it can be like a game - maybe also how the cuckold sees himself?Maybe it's important to consider whether the submissiveness is only there when the bull comes to visit - or the wife is with the bull.
I think if the cuckold is always submissive and the power balance goes more and more to the wife - it could be that the wife sees her cuckold more and more with different eyes.

Maybe if a deeper relationship develops between wife and bull - and he gets more and more control and decides more about the cuckold couple's life - and the cuckold accepts it and doesn't object?

Befor we started cuckolding, i was absolut not submissive - i was dom and jealouse. I was the head of the house.
It was amazing to see how a real man became more and more contol about my wife - and me.

I am living longtime as a little in the family - her bf moved in the house and so on. How dis she see me? I know that she see me not as her husband - she need a real man as husband and in her bed. She said, she see me only now as little - and i think - that can´t not more be changed

little Benita

[Blue_Dragon]

My situation, while not cuckolding, may be considered cuck adjacent. My wife and I haven’t had penetrative sex since she bought a multi-speed vibrator. It pleases her far more than I ever could. Since then I’ve been relegated to handjobs when she is finished climaxing (which takes awhile, she cums multiple times). There is no sign that we are going back to the way it was.

[CoupleFun555]

I believe that she would stop having sex with other men if I asked. I don’t want to ask because it would not be fair to her. I have a small penis, less than 4 1/2 inches and she LOVES length, like 8 to just under 10 inches. I don’t want to deny her deep penetration orgasms with real penises.

Of course, she could stop having sex with other men and she’d be able to play with long dildos and vibrators. That’s certainly fun for her but the real thing is just different.

Also, I am happier and more sexually aroused knowing that she feels confident enough in us to tell me what she wants.

[MrPepeLePew]

I do agree with another poster that said most of what you read on here (not just this thread) is fantasy. Frustrated cuckolds are imaginative cuckolds. Real life is far less hot most of the time and that makes the hot moments that much sweeter.

After cuckolding starts, is it possible for the hotwife to go back to having normal attraction for her man, or will she always see him as submissive and perhaps less attractive (than she would to bulls and other guys who are dominant/not into submission)?

I guess as a cuckold, if you behave in ways that turn her off, she's going to be turned off. Since everyone prefers different things I'm not sure how it's possible to answer that question without knowing her and asking her. Just remember that feelings wax and wane based on time. She may love you sometimes, she may hate you sometimes. But overall perception of you really shouldn't change all that much. Don't introduce too much too fast and explore and grow together. I think any respect lost for you in the sex department will tend to increase in the affection and closeness department due to all of the great communication you two should be having (relationships are like equations, they tend to balance each other out).

Being a cuckold is just something that you're into, it's a facet of your life, not 100% your identity, just like what you do for work isn't 100% your identity or what hobbies you're into, etc. Who you are is a combination of all of those things despite what our fantasies would have us say. Revealing an aspect of your personality to her that she didn't know about before will likely bring you two closer together, not farther apart. The back-and-forth communication that ensues after the cuckold door is open is the magic and glue that will keep you together. Whether she enjoys another guy's cock in her pussy is just a physical act. If the guy attached to that cock spends as much time with her and as a result knows her and makes her feel loved on a deeper level than you, it doesn't really matter if you're submissive or not at that point, you two may start to have problems. In a cuckold situation, bulls work well when treated as appointments. If they become more than that, it may be flirting more with polyamory at that point.

This lifestyle just intensifies the direction you two are already heading. If you were already close and best friends and very compatible, it's likely to bring you even closer together. If you were having problems or one of you was already thinking about heading towards the exit, things are likely to end in a much more abbreviated fashion. That's what makes this scary sometimes, because there's always a lingering doubt as to how the other might feel. Even scarier, you honestly won't know for sure until you try it.

So no, there is no going back, but once you're there, neither of you will probably want to. Similar to having a significant fight, nobody wants to fight with each other, but after a good fight and resolution, neither of you can probably deny that you're both a stronger couple having gone through it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Same thinking applies here.

I know with my ex that she couldn't see me the same way once she'd seen me submit to her. She told me once that she always felt that she would want other guys and questioned whether that was good for a relationship.

I mean the fear of liking another person too much is a valid fear and one we all have at one point or another. I don't know you and her, but since she's an ex, I suspect she already felt the way she did before "she'd seen you submit to her". A hotwife / cuckold lifestyle is more about temporary scenes or appointments rather than 24/7. Scenes have a beginning and an end and real life ensues between those times. What you're into during those scenes doesn't change the person you are and the one she married, no more than kayaking or rock climbing changes who you are as a person when you're doing those activities. She may hate both of those things and may choose to do them with you anyway or not, but it wouldn't likely be something that would drive her away. Mostly, if your cuckold thing IS enough to change her mind about you, her mind was probably changed already and this just clarified things for her.

Cuckolds realize at some point that we're into this lifestyle (or hotwives talk us into it), if one or both of you want to stop it, it depends on the state of the relationship and the reason why you want it stopped as to whether it can stop. If one of you feels the other slipping away and think by stopping it you can save the marriage, I would argue the marriage was probably already doomed and exploring this lifestyle just accelerated the inevitable. If you're stopping it because you've become insecure about something, that's closer to cuckold angst and you learn to manage it and communicate it with her (without making her feel bad or wrong somehow) and you probably both grow closer to each other as a result of it. Vice versa if it's her feeling insecure but the same closeness results.

If the root of your question is should you give up cuckolding since you tried it with someone who became an ex, I guess it depends on whether cuckolding is just a temporary kink or something you desire deeply. If it's the latter I wouldn't entertain leaving it but rather find ways of more deeply connecting with the next person you find and see if there's a way you both can share and benefit from it together.

[submissivedanny]

Once my wife got the taste of being able to fuck whoever she wants and anytime she wants she will never go back.

[mattyg_2671]

Although we’re only a couple of months being “active”, I can’t see her wanting to ever go back. Her sex drive is incredible and she really enjoys the process and excitement of swapping flirty sexual messages with a new guy, the anticipation before a first meeting, then the first kiss and fondling, and the power she feels when she gets the guy so aroused that they are desperate to fuck each other.

She is increasingly enjoying teasing, taunting and denying me. Her pussy is not for me anymore, recently my only release has been to jerk off over her feet while kneeling in front of her naked body.

She was always a “good girl” with a mildly naughty side, and we’ve talked about the change in her behaviour in the last few weeks. She feels like she always suppressed her true self, and now that this filthy sexual side has now been released, perhaps this is actually her true self. She feels that she can be totally wanton and sexually adventurous, pushing her boundaries with men that are not her husband. She’s done things with others that she’s never done with me, and will never now do.

She’s meeting a new guy on Thursday for drinks at a local bar. She has set a boundary for herself of giving him a blowjob at most. However, we both agree that if she is very horny, wouldn’t need much persuasion to end up fucking him, even if it is outside the bar against the wall!

I cannot see things changing anytime soon, We’re both enjoying the ride incredible and neither of us want to change anything.

[xmanacherx]

thank you for sharing

[david2000]

My wife says, once you get use to fly first class it's hard to fly economy.

[Des 31]

I mean this as a serious question and not a fantasy thing and I'm interested in opinions from everyone...cucks, hotwives, bulls...

After cuckolding starts, is it possible for the hotwife to go back to having normal attraction for her man, or will she always see him as submissive and perhaps less attractive (than she would to bulls and other guys who are dominant/not into submission)?

I know with my ex that she couldn't see me the same way once she'd seen me submit to her. She told me once that she always felt that she would want other guys and questioned whether that was good for a relationship.

This way of life works for us but isn't for everyone. You need trust, good communication, and enough discipline that won't allow you to feel aggressively jealous. Some guys feel they can't handle it. It's more common that it takes a wife a while to accept it isn't a trick that would allow the husband the same privilege. Once the two of you become experienced, your wife is likely to real

Not all cucks are submissive, and most of those consider themselves as husbands of hotwives. Once my wife had her first few experiences, each of us realized this is not a threat to our marriage. She says she does it for "both of us," but jokes, "But it's mostly for ME." Yeah, I guess it is. It's been great for our relationship. We're as open with each other as any two people can be, and our marital sex is better. Maybe that's because I REALLY enjoy her finding happiness through fucking other men.

[luvwives999]

We are older and it's been a few years since my wife was with another man. We moved to Florida about 18 months ago,and was invited to dinner at a neighbors. There were 5 couples there. My wife was not dressed provocatively, nor was she overly flirty. Yet every man there when they talked to her, touched her. Maybe her shoulder, back, hand on the leg. None of the other women were touched like that, I watched. It made me wonder if other men could sense that at one time she was a bit of a party girl, and that sex with other men was always a possibility. So I am thinking that being a cuck is a lifelong thing.