Once cuckolding begins is there any going back?

[ez456]

I mean this as a serious question and not a fantasy thing and I'm interested in opinions from everyone...cucks, hotwives, bulls...

After cuckolding starts, is it possible for the hotwife to go back to having normal attraction for her man, or will she always see him as submissive and perhaps less attractive (than she would to bulls and other guys who are dominant/not into submission)?

I know with my ex that she couldn't see me the same way once she'd seen me submit to her. She told me once that she always felt that she would want other guys and questioned whether that was good for a relationship.

[grnlght]

IMO Cuckolding should bring you closer as a couple not drive you apart unless that is your intent to drive her into another man's arms and walk away. You give her the gift of completely exploring her sexuality and loving her for it and she gives you the gift of sharing her and the bull's encounters and feeds your need for seeing her with another man doing things as you get details, pics or vids, or the ultimate watch and or participate. She gives you all those intense heart pounding cock stiffening feelings of jealousy and being turned on beyond your wildest dreams at the same time. Then you get together after and reclaim her in some way at some point and deepen your bond together. She can humiliate you about how he is bigger and and fucks better than you and deny when and where you can cum in her/on her as apposed to the bull and add in chastity if that is your thing. She can limit you to hand jobs blow job only if that is what you want out of this but deep down you both should feel so thankful that you gave each other this gift and she should feel even more in love with you and you her.

I do not think her thinking less of you as a man should be a factor. it can be about your lack of sexual ability, cock size, stamina ect to give her great sex that drives her to want it from another man. if any thing it takes a mentally strong male that is comfortable with him self to give her that gift and still love his wife after she cuckolds him. Now if your talking BDSM or FLR into the mix it depends on what you both are looking for. After care and debriefing is important, to check in with one another after each encounter and see if each of you is getting what you want out of this if not then talk it over make or change boundaries that should of been talked over prior to entering the LS.You can add chastity, orgasm control or denial feminization, pegging ect this a complex activity and can be very fulfilling as long as you both agree on the guidelines to start out with it should be a healthy exciting time for both of you and if one or the other wants to stop it should not be a problem for either. You will always have those memories of the encounters you both had after all this was to enhance your relationship not destroy it.

I should add once your wife or girlfriend cucks you in a relationship your cucked.

[iloanmywife]

I mean this as a serious question and not a fantasy thing and I'm interested in opinions from everyone...cucks, hotwives, bulls...

After cuckolding starts, is it possible for the hotwife to go back to having normal attraction for her man, or will she always see him as submissive and perhaps less attractive(than she would to bulls and other guys who are dominant/not into submission)?

I know with my ex that she couldn't see me the same way once she'd seen me submit to her. She told me once that she always felt that she would want other guys and questioned whether that was good for a relationship.

It's different for different couples, and I won't presume to answer for others. I'm sure some couples can turn it off like a light switch and never think about it again, and for others it's permanently changed how they think about each other, for better or worse.

When we first started playing my wife asked me how long I thought we were going to be doing this. We had discussed some ground rules, but we hadn't thought about a possible end date. We agreed that there was no reason ever to stop. As long as she wants to have sex, she'll be fucking other men.

We've since formalized our commitments to each other, and I explicitly forfeited any expectation of her sexual monogamy. That commitment is irrevocable by me. She could stop fucking other men at any point if she wanted, but she'll always have the freedom to do so.

My wife had a similar fear leading up to our very first play date. She was worried that being with other men would make her feel differently about me. That never happened. Honestly, after the first date was over the overriding feeling for both of us was relief. Nothing changed. To this day, we're still madly, passionately, stupidly in love. We can't say that about any other couples we know. Some might still love each other, but no other couple acts like teenagers in love like we do.

Does she see me differently than when we first started dating? Of course. I'd hope so, given how much we've grown together over the years. In the wide view of our life together, cuckolding isn't really that significant. It's one of countless elements to our lives, but it is an element. I know that I'll never again not be a cuckold in her eyes. Likewise, I'll always know that she's a literal slut. We've bared our naked souls to each other, and that vulnerability has infused our love into even the most depraved sex acts, and it's also infused kink and eroticism into even our most vanilla lovemaking.

The question isn't "Can we ever go back?" It's "Why would we want to?"

[vmb69]

Having talked to multiple couples, it tends to be harder for guys to stop. It is a serious addiction and while I know a few that have stopped they still think about it.

[canadianwittol]

My wife and I have discussed this topic a few times, and in a strange way it is one of my favourite topics.

"Would you stop if I asked you to?" My wife has two ways of answering this question, but they both lead to the same answer.

The first is an answer that's full of teasing, in a scenario where we're on the couch together or in bed and she starts to tease me that no, she is not going to stop. She'll whisper in a low sultry tone that she loves making a cuckold out of her husband and will never stop cheating.

The second answer is her serious answer: which is still ultimately a no. She does say that if something dramatic changed with me where I really did not enjoy cuckolding anymore, she would be sensitive to it and she'd prioritize me and my feelings; she says she absolutely would stop seeing lovers regularly. But there is a caveat: after 15 years of total sexual freedom, she says that honestly she would not stop cold turkey, and that I would have to bear the responsibility of having led us down this path.

She enjoys having the option and the freedom to sleep with whomever she pleases and as far as she is concerned she would continue to exercise that option at her sole discretion. Maybe she wouldn't tell me about it anymore if she knew I wasn't into it any longer, but she says she has little question in her own mind that she would still enjoy an affair if and when an opportunity presented itself.

I enjoy both answers, but I really do prefer the second. That's because it's hammered home to me by way of a thorough explanation, how I have lost control of this situation, it is evidence of how much my wife has come to enjoy our lifestyle. I may enjoy this fetish and we may have begun it at my instigation, but at this point she has made it hers. She of course enjoys indulging me and making me happy, but she's doing it at this point as much because she gets her own enjoyment out of cuckolding me.

A few years ago at the end of one of those serious conversations she summed it up by telling me: "You will be a cuckold for the rest of your life."

At this stage I am certain she is entirely correct. We have long since lost count of the number of men who have cuckolded me, and this November will mark 15 years in the lifestyle.

[luvymayfly2]

Yes, you can stop. Most couples make starts and stops over the years if they choose to make this part of their sex play. I do not believe in making it a lifestyle. I would not make anything sexual a lifestyle. Compare it to any addiction. If it meets the criteria for addiction then you probably need to take a step back.

Life has seasons. Your sex life has seasons. It is OK if cuckolding play has seasons too. Enjoy it.

[Johnann2227]

I mean this as a serious question and not a fantasy thing and I'm interested in opinions from everyone...cucks, hotwives, bulls...

After cuckolding starts, is it possible for the hotwife to go back to having normal attraction for her man, or will she always see him as submissive and perhaps less attractive(than she would to bulls and other guys who are dominant/not into submission)?

I know with my ex that she couldn't see me the same way once she'd seen me submit to her. She told me once that she always felt that she would want other guys and questioned whether that was good for a relationship.

It's different for different couples, and I won't presume to answer for others. I'm sure some couples can turn it off like a light switch and never think about it again, and for others it's permanently changed how they think about each other, for better or worse.

When we first started playing my wife asked me how long I thought we were going to be doing this. We had discussed some ground rules, but we hadn't thought about a possible end date. We agreed that there was no reason ever to stop. As long as she wants to have sex, she'll be fucking other men.

We've since formalized our commitments to each other, and I explicitly forfeited any expectation of her sexual monogamy. That commitment is irrevocable by me. She could stop fucking other men at any point if she wanted, but she'll always have the freedom to do so.

My wife had a similar fear leading up to our very first play date. She was worried that being with other men would make her feel differently about me. That never happened. Honestly, after the first date was over the overriding feeling for both of us was relief. Nothing changed. To this day, we're still madly, passionately, stupidly in love. We can't say that about any other couples we know. Some might still love each other, but no other couple acts like teenagers in love like we do.

Does she see me differently than when we first started dating? Of course. I'd hope so, given how much we've grown together over the years. In the wide view of our life together, cuckolding isn't really that significant. It's one of countless elements to our lives, but it is an element. I know that I'll never again not be a cuckold in her eyes. Likewise, I'll always know that she's a literal slut. We've bared our naked souls to each other, and that vulnerability has infused our love into even the most depraved sex acts, and it's also infused kink and eroticism into even our most vanilla lovemaking.

The question isn't "Can we ever go back?" It's "Why would we want to?"

Well said! We agree with what you say. If either of us woke up tomorrow and said no more, we would stop immediately. Same with our swinging. All of our lifestyle is to enhance our marriage. To present lifes greatest opportunities for pleasure. Would we miss swinging and hotwifing? After 25+ years of course we would. But like you the bigger question is why would we want to stop?

[Bluetoed]

There are no rules, and it's not an all or none obligation. There are lots of aspects of cuckolding, and not everyone wants the extreme of all of them.

Most couples just get their feet wet first, and slowly go a little deeper and deeper and deeper. When they realize there is an aspect (or aspects) that one or both of them don't like, they stop doing that aspect. Eventually they find a place where they are both comfortable. Very rarely is it the extreme end. And as time goes on, they change and they move around the aspects some more and may find they now like something they didn't like before, or find they no longer like something that they did. Communication and trust are vitally important for this all to happen.

This is why when I read stories where the wife tells the husband before anything starts that he will have no say, is not allowed to have regrets, is not allowed to show any buyers remorse, that she will do whatever she wants, and then goes as extreme as she can possible go, I conclude that either the story is fictional, the couple is doomed to fail, or the couple should go play the lottery as soon as possible because they are clearly a one in a million couple to be able to play this game to that extreme and come out winners.

[WarrenOldcuck]

Well said Bluetoed

[annsman]

The other man is an extra to our marriage and is fun when she is seeing someone, but it's not essential.
My wife doesn't see me as submissive, its just something we sexually enjoy together.
She is very choosy so we have many times where she is not seeing anyone, which doesn't affect our love or sex for each other, so I'm sure it would be frustrating but not a problem for our marriage.

[ucaneffher]

In my case, we did it for 7 years starting at the tender age of 19. There were moments when I got cold feet and made mentions of stopping but I was met with resistance. After 7 years of full 100% freedom to one night stands, friends with benefits/lovers, and boyfriends not to mention the army of male friends that she had ... She definitely did not seem like she was willing to go back to monogamy (with me at least)

That's why for me I am now cautious about getting in the lifestyle and want to be sure that I am willing to be in it for the long run because I can never predict if my partner will become dependent on such lifestyle. I know that communication and being there for each other is important but let's face it, sometimes you can talk and plan things out but if you're eating filet mignon every night and suddenly you have to switch to having impossible whoppers abruptly, it's just not going to sit well with most people lol

[naivecuck2]

After our 2nd daughter was born, my wife had a Tubal Ligation. Then 17 years after not seeing or hearing from an old high school boyfriend, a U.S.P.S. letter addressed to her parents house was forwarded by her dad. The letter explained that he was recently divorced and wanted to get reacquainted with her by taking her out to dinner. So, I gave her a "hall pass", before the movie, naively believing that if they did have sex it would be one and done. She left for her 1st date at 5:00 PM on a Friday night and returned home at 5:00 AM Saturday morning. So, the next week, while I was at work and our daughters were in elementary school, Monday thru Friday, they fucked every day, at least 3 times per day. He had a bigger cock and more stamina than me. She never had an orgasm with me, however she had myriad orgasms with him. She became addicted to sex with him. Within a month, they went on an overnight tryst to a sex motel, with sex swings and mirrors on the ceiling. I know he filled all her holes with cum and she did not have to worry about getting pregnant. Once Pandora's Box was opened, there was no way of closing it and after two years of cuckold angst, lying to our daughters as to mom going out with girl friends for an out of state weekend, country western concert and late Friday night early Saturday morning "league bowling", she became my ex. She fucked him more often in two years than she and I fucked in the eleven years prior to becoming reacquainted with him.

[naivecuck2]

After our 2nd daughter was born, my wife had a Tubal Ligation. Then 17 years after not seeing or hearing from an old high school boyfriend, a U.S.P.S. letter addressed to her parents house was forwarded by her dad. The letter explained that he was recently divorced and wanted to get reacquainted with her by taking her out to dinner. So, I gave her a "hall pass", before the movie, naively believing that if they did have sex it would be one and done. She left for her 1st date at 5:00 PM on a Friday night and returned home at 5:00 AM Saturday morning. So, the next week, while I was at work and our daughters were in elementary school, Monday thru Friday, they fucked every day, at least 3 times per day. He had a bigger cock and more stamina than me. She never had an orgasm with me, however she had myriad orgasms with him. She became addicted to sex with him. Within a month, they went on an overnight tryst to a sex motel, with sex swings and mirrors on the ceiling. I know he filled all her holes with cum and she did not have to worry about getting pregnant. Once Pandora's Box was opened, there was no way of closing it and after two years of cuckold angst, lying to our daughters as to mom going out with girl friends for an out of state weekend, country western concert and late Friday night early Saturday morning "league bowling", she became my ex. She fucked him more often in two years than she and I fucked in the eleven years prior to becoming reacquainted with him.

[wench66]

The other man is an extra to our marriage and is fun when she is seeing someone, but it's not essential.
My wife doesn't see me as submissive, its just something we sexually enjoy together.
She is very choosy so we have many times where she is not seeing anyone, which doesn't affect our love or sex for each other, so I'm sure it would be frustrating but not a problem for our marriage.

Pretty much agree. In our long marriage W has active and inactive periods. There are other aspects to our sex life, but W playing
with other guy(s) is our favourite.

[funkyfitter]

I have no idea if you could ever go back. I think that everyone's experience is different and all I know is that I love my wife very much and her decision to indulge my "little fantasy" as she calls it, has evolved into the most satisfying sexual aspect of our lives. She has told me that she has no plans to stop and I support her in every way.

[ucaneffher]

After our 2nd daughter was born, my wife had a Tubal Ligation. Then 17 years after not seeing or hearing from an old high school boyfriend, a U.S.P.S. letter addressed to her parents house was forwarded by her dad. The letter explained that he was recently divorced and wanted to get reacquainted with her by taking her out to dinner. So, I gave her a "hall pass", before the movie, naively believing that if they did have sex it would be one and done. She left for her 1st date at 5:00 PM on a Friday night and returned home at 5:00 AM Saturday morning. So, the next week, while I was at work and our daughters were in elementary school, Monday thru Friday, they fucked every day, at least 3 times per day. He had a bigger cock and more stamina than me. She never had an orgasm with me, however she had myriad orgasms with him. She became addicted to sex with him. Within a month, they went on an overnight tryst to a sex motel, with sex swings and mirrors on the ceiling. I know he filled all her holes with cum and she did not have to worry about getting pregnant. Once Pandora's Box was opened, there was no way of closing it and after two years of cuckold angst, lying to our daughters as to mom going out with girl friends for an out of state weekend, country western concert and late Friday night early Saturday morning "league bowling", she became my ex. She fucked him more often in two years than she and I fucked in the eleven years prior to becoming reacquainted with him.

Damn dude, I'm really sorry to hear that. Did she take the girls girl? What is your dynamic now?

[Cdncuck]

I mean this as a serious question and not a fantasy thing and I'm interested in opinions from everyone...cucks, hotwives, bulls...

After cuckolding starts, is it possible for the hotwife to go back to having normal attraction for her man, or will she always see him as submissive and perhaps less attractive (than she would to bulls and other guys who are dominant/not into submission)?

It would depend entirely upon the couple involved in the relationship. Some people couldn't go back to their previous relationship level and some could. It would also depend on how much they wanted to return to their relationship prior to becoming involved with hotwifing.

I know with my ex that she couldn't see me the same way once she'd seen me submit to her. She told me once that she always felt that she would want other guys and questioned whether that was good for a relationship.

In our own situation, neither of us have any interest in quitting the lifestyle.

[harmankard]

The second answer is her serious answer: which is still ultimately a no. She does say that if something dramatic changed with me where I really did not enjoy cuckolding anymore, she would be sensitive to it and she'd prioritize me and my feelings; she says she absolutely would stop seeing lovers regularly. But there is a caveat: after 15 years of total sexual freedom, she says that honestly she would not stop cold turkey, and that I would have to bear the responsibility of having led us down this path.

She enjoys having the option and the freedom to sleep with whomever she pleases and as far as she is concerned she would continue to exercise that option at her sole discretion. Maybe she wouldn't tell me about it anymore if she knew I wasn't into it any longer, but she says she has little question in her own mind that she would still enjoy an affair if and when an opportunity presented itself.

I enjoy both answers, but I really do prefer the second. That's because it's hammered home to me by way of a thorough explanation, how I have lost control of this situation, it is evidence of how much my wife has come to enjoy our lifestyle. I may enjoy this fetish and we may have begun it at my instigation, but at this point she has made it hers. She of course enjoys indulging me and making me happy, but she's doing it at this point as much because she gets her own enjoyment out of cuckolding me.

A few years ago at the end of one of those serious conversations she summed it up by telling me: "You will be a cuckold for the rest of your life."

At this stage I am certain she is entirely correct. We have long since lost count of the number of men who have cuckolded me, and this November will mark 15 years in the lifestyle.

That is so fucking hot! Well stated!

[Farmgirl]

Is there going back?
That depends on the individual/couple. Some dabble at this, some play at it, and some of us live it. That's not to say that there is a right or wrong, just that each level sees it differently.
I will never quit on my own, though at some point common sense says health will take me out of being active. For me and my Number1, there are no "what-ifs" or "can you stop". He will never ask me to stop, being a Hotwife husband/Cuckold is who he is, and he can't change that. I long ago made the change from monogamous wife to non-monogamous wife, it is who I am. Since these aren't roles we play or costumes we put on, there is no going back for us.
Some couples can start/stop, take breaks/return, or even quit. We just can't and still be us, and we like being us .

[4herpleasure89]

Very well said Farmgirl!

[knight4princess]

As for us -- it's pretty much the way Farmgirl said. Hotwifing for us is who we are. Everyone has sexual grooves and our combined thing is this. We are a longterm dedicated couple. We've been in the swing lifestyle but have gravitated toward finding boyfriends for her, to the point where we no longer seek couple swaps. This is what really turns my wife on sexually and it's a supercharger to our overall relationship. I don't think we will quit until we are so old we just physically can't.

[mfm4bnc]

We went back, and it was a pretty conscious effort. I had to stop masturbating to cuckold fantasies to make it work. I was one of those alpha in the day, cuckold in the sheets kind of guys, and my wife was first attracted to the alpha side. She wanted that back. Our sex life is a little less supercharged, but we have a really good vanilla sex life.

I miss the cuckold stuff, as evidenced by being here, and as evidenced by me continuing to share stories and fantasies. As we have eased off the throttle, Lil has gone back to being the exhibitionistic, sassy, flirt she was when I met her. I am very attracted to that side of her. Now I just act a little jealous and possessive rather than turned on when she gets flirty with others. (it is a little counter-intuitive in my mind, as I feel like that is less secure behavior, but she likes it.) I would not be surprised if something happens naturalistically, but for now, I am embracing and being grateful for what she gives me.

[Teensy1]

Not in my situation. My wife wants nothing more to do with my teensy peepee now that she has had a real man’s cock throbbing and spurting inside of her. As she has told me, once a cuck always a cuck.

[Teensy1]

Not in my situation. My wife wants nothing more to do with my teensy peepee now that she has had a real man’s cock throbbing and spurting inside of her. As she has told me, once a cuck always a cuck.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

Having talked to multiple couples, it tends to be harder for guys to stop. It is a serious addiction and while I know a few that have stopped they still think about it.

I don’t have much more to say that hasn’t already been said.

I DO agree with vmb69, though. I don’t think we’re capable of stopping at this point until our health takes us out of the game. We are both addicted to living this way, and frankly, it’s fairly harmless (and healthy?) in the bigger picture.

Clean, consenting adults.

It’s just sex! ….several inches of his flesh inside of her….BOOM….everyone is relieved and less stressed….happiness naturally follows. It’s a win-win-win!

(We attach too much “cultural” baggage to sex!)

Life doesn’t often give us win-win-win situations. She gets to make a few guys cum. I get to experience the thrill of watching her do it. It’s a beautiful thing.

So far as I can tell, we could never return to vanilla….not until our health says, “Fun ride! But even this fun must come to an end. It’s time to let someone else enjoy the ride, now.”

I would absolutely LOVE to talk to husbands and wives in their 80s and 90s who have lived the cuckold/hotwife lifestyle (and obviously survived it) to get their perspectives. I imagine their most thrilling moments were similar to ours, her on her back with her feet in the air, him jerking off while watching/imagining…maybe getting caged. But I’d be more interested in their long-term happiness or regrets. Would they do it the same way if they had some kind of second shot? What were some of their greatest thrills and frustrations? Is there something (seldom mentioned) that we “youngsters” don’t see yet? (I’m 55. She’s 52. She cucked me 18 years ago, and continues to do so today, and we’re very happy.)