Why I don't like the cuckold community

[theothercuck]

I've been an on again off again cuckold since 2009. It started a year previously, when my ex-wife was in a shortfilm and had to kiss another guy, I googled guys who had to watch their girlfriend kiss another man, and cuckolding came up. I have a lot of experience as a cuckold.

Why I don't like cuckolding culture started near the beginning, but I liked having like-minded individuals to talk about this with, and analyze our feelings together. But I finally gave up a few years ago and stopped commenting.

First, the stories are unbelievable. I feel like I'm talking to a group of pathological liars half the time. It's frustrating to want to have honest and sincere conversations about something so surreal, only to be met with lies. The thing is, I love real stories. I love to take a trip down memory lane myself. I like talking with two friends in person, who have had similar experiences. But the unbelievable stuff, told by people with zero social skills (and to pull off watching a guy undress your wife takes serious social skills to put him as ease to do it), is the opposite of honest and sincere conversations.

Second, the zero social skills. Cuckolding can give off incel vibes (sometimes being an incel is the fantasy). People that are difficult to talk to, or who only want to talk about themselves, are frustrating to talk to by definition. It's terrible pr for cuckolding to, I'd rather it just be a normal thing to stay monogamous to a non-monogamous woman, but it will never be normalized if the people advocating for it are awkward af.

Third, women don't want to be married to beta males. You can be an alpha and a cuck. Being so secure that your wife having a guy on the side doesn't bother you is a sign of strength, being so insecure you can't handle the slightest bit of jealousy is a sign of weakness. Cucks on forums relish in their weakness. I feel bad for their wives. What's worse, they put this forward sacrificing their wife's happiness for their own fetish, when cuckolding is about the wife's happiness and not the husband's.

Just some random thoughts about why I don't post here anymore. Wish you all well.

[wannabecUKold]

Hmm

OHW is one of the sanest cuckold/hotwife sites. Even if you doubt some of the stories, there is a lot of discussion on here that is useful in any event, especially from the VHWs.

And many of the stories are real. Real stories have credible dialogue, they don't go in a straight line, they stop and start, they don't always go well; the posters will engage with readers.

I am sure there are also fakes here - I remember one guy whose gf was seeing her lover on the Friday and he mistakenly posted the hot outcome the day before it 'happened'.

As for the alphas and betas, there are many guys here who are professionals, successful, and alpha in their day job. Their wives have not married beta guys. But sex is different and these episodes offer a break from the day job: where the cuckold can be beta and drop the pressure of being alpha. And of course for many husbands, it is their own real-life porn show: no-one who has seen their wife being fucked by another guy can forget the experience.

You posted in the cuckold forum: evidently the beta element is not for you.

[Bluetoed]

The admins of the site have a policy based on "truth is stranger than fiction" so stories cannot be called fiction without violating the rules here. I can understand why they have that rule, but it does produce a very extreme result, which is it's a free for all for the fiction writers.

While it's impossible to determine for a fact that a story is fiction, there are aspects that make it less likely of being true. I'm not saying the aspect means it's not true, just that it is less likely that it is true. These aspects are:

1) Speed: the faster things progress the less likely it is true. While sometimes things can progress fast, they more often progress slow.
2) Inevitability: when the husband in the story acts as if he has zero control of his future, it is less likely to be true. While sometimes a husband has zero control, success in cuckolding relies heavily on communication and boundaries. If a real cuckold has zero control, it is likely doomed for failure.
3) Lack of enjoyment: when the husband can never seem to say anything positive, such as "this is great; I am loving this; or this is everything I dreamed it would be" even after being asked by readers if he is enjoying it, it is less likely to be true. The reason a poster would not want to share his enjoyment in his thread is because his motivation to post is to arouse his readers. His readers are aroused by humiliation, and NOT by joy. Expressing that he likes what he is experiencing is a mood killer to his target readers. A person sharing a real story isn't motivated to post to arouse his readers. He is motivated to share what he enjoys.
4) Take his ball and go home: when a poster threatens to stop posting because of people questioning his story, it is less likely to be true. This is because it's hard to keep a fictional story straight through all the questioning. This is why police detectives question suspects over and over and over again, often with the same question just phrased differently. A suspect who is making up his story will have a hard time keeping his story straight, and so will a fictional cuckold writer. A person telling the truth can answer questions consistently and wouldn't feel the need to stop posting due to questions. In fact, one of their main motivations to post their real story out in the public is to answer questions.
5) Unconfirmed wife postings: when readers begin questioning the validity of the story, the "wife" starts posting using the husband's account to add validity, it is less likely to be true. While there are some wives who don't want their own account, if a wife is posting in the thread to validate what their husband is saying, them being unwilling to become verified goes against their efforts/intent of posting in the thread, and it is probably the poster just acting like his "wife" is posting. Sometimes this is obvious when the husband and wife have the same writing styles.

Again, none of these aspects being present means the story isn't true. It just reduces the likelihood of it being true. And if a story has many of the aspects above, it means it is less and less and less likely to be a true story.

But it is possible that a story could have all the aspects of the above and yet still be true. It would be rare, but as they say, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

There are also lots of readers here on this site that don't care one way or another if the story is true or not. So if a story has a lot of the aspects of the above, don't put a response in the thread about it. Just move on. But, if you are someone here to learn, and want to learn what to do and what not to do, fictional stories aren't good sources of education about this dynamic. So if the aspects above exist in a story, it's probably a good idea to ignore the story from your research.

[scarfolamew]

OP - the whole idea that having a humiliation fetish is "bad PR" for the fetish because you find it humiliating is pretty weird. There's a link for the stag forum just a few pixels away. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

Bluetoed - really interesting breakdown; there's a popular thread on here that I have a gut sense is fiction, and you articulated the reason behind my instinct better than I'd have been able to. That said I guess I'd push back on point 2.. wouldn't you agree that lots of men engage in risky behavior even if it goes against their best interests? I don't see why approaching the lifestyle in an ill-advised fashion necessarily makes it more likely that the events they relate are fake. The thought of my wife disrespecting my boundaries is the hottest thing in the world to me and I genuinely want her to do it, ill advised though it may be.

[Tank Turner]

Third, women don't want to be married to beta males.

I don't know much about the cuckold community. I've learned within the past couple years that women are cucholds and men are cucks.

I could not watch my wife getting fucked into a coma and not participate. If my wife is getting fucked, I have to be in on the action. We do MFM sex until my last money shot is fired.

I agree with you 100% about women not wanting beta males. There probably is a small percentage of women who defy human nature and want to assume masculine roles. My wife and her sister love masculine, alpha men. My sister-in-law was married to a beta male. After years of misery and sexual denial, she divorced him. She's now engaged to the quintessential man's man, the prototypical alpha male employed in the prototypical masculine profession. He's a firefighter. He's ten years longer than my sister-in-law. She is in love with her brave, heroic, man's man firefighter. She loves the fact that he's a stud in a masculine profession.

My wife told me around the time we met that she did not do well with timid men. She did best with dominant (alpha males) and sexually aggressive men.

[funfortwo]

I'm disappointed that OP doesn't believe the postings of some of the men on this site. I agree that some seem to be more "fetish" centralized and seem a bit far fetched. It seems that others question the credibility of the postings and they seem to disappear. That said, I find that I personally, receive a great deal of information and insight from others that have walked this path before me/us. We have a stag/vixen dynamic but venture into mild cuckolding that we/I find fun and exciting. I guess you get out of it whatever you want, or just don't read the postings. It's been a fun ride and our hotwives has been an essential component of our success. To each his own....

[Tank Turner]

1) Speed: the faster things progress the less likely it is true. While sometimes things can progress fast, they more often progress slow.

Hi Bluetoed,

I agreed with most of everything you've posted except the speed with which sex can happen. Who hasn't had a one-nighter? Those happen quickly.

I remember college parties when sex happened before it could be spontaneous. Drunk coeds have zero inhibitions.

Women know within the first 15 minutes of meeting dudes whether they'll fuck them.

When alcohol is involved, speed that sex can happen will rapidly accelerate.

My wife and I used to work a plan that did not always produce results. When she found that right dude that passed her vetting process, MFM sex would happen within a couple hours. But the planning was done well in advance.

It took many weeks for our latest friend to get on board. He's an exception to our rule of not permitting anyone to become too close for fear our kids might find out that their angelic mother is a bedroom porn star. Circumstances have eliminated risk of our exposure. He's tight friends with my wife's sister's fiancé. We can easily excuse him hanging with us.

We've never been to a swingers club. I've been told that sex at swingers clubs happens within minutes.

So the time variable is not a reliable indicator of veracity.

If one were to use what he or she knows to be true, you can separate the wheat from the chaff. If it reads like poser prevarication, it probably is.

Of course, none of the aforementioned applies to cuckolds because I know little about that lifestyle.

[iloanmywife]

People that are difficult to talk to, or who only want to talk about themselves, are frustrating to talk to by definition.

Cucks on forums relish in their weakness. I feel bad for their wives. What's worse, they put this forward sacrificing their wife's happiness for their own fetish, when cuckolding is about the wife's happiness and not the husband's.

Maybe you're on to something.

I think online cuckolding discussions can bring out the worst in cuckolds and wannabe cuckolds. In a word, it's selfishness. I know that I've been guilty of it, and I believe most men who find their way to an online forum about cuckolding are guilty of it as well. We all tend to want to talk about ourselves, which isn't a great recipe for a healthy back-and-forth.

I participate in other unrelated forums, and a good thread topic will almost always spawn a lengthy discussion, tangent upon tangent, with friendly banter and heated debates. This tends not to be true with online cuckolding discussions. That's not unique to OHW, which fantastic and orders of magnitude better for hotwifing and cuckolding than anything else in the internet.

The threads that get the most engagement are "controversial" topics like this one, because everyone puts his dick back in his pants and writes what he's thinking. In contrast, if a guy were to post a torrid description about his wife's first MFM threesome, he might be lucky to get a few follow-up comments. Or someone might change the subject to himself and his own favorite kink, or engage in a game of one-upsmanship in the standard online race to the bottom to see who can come up with the most perverse scenario and who is the most pathetic loser of the group, because it's only hot if you're the most pathetic. And some posters think, "This is all BS" and move on.

When conversations about cuckolding dies it's because of all of us.

[Cdncuck]

I've been an on again off again cuckold since 2009. It started a year previously, when my ex-wife was in a shortfilm and had to kiss another guy, I googled guys who had to watch their girlfriend kiss another man, and cuckolding came up. I have a lot of experience as a cuckold.

Why I don't like cuckolding culture started near the beginning, but I liked having like-minded individuals to talk about this with, and analyze our feelings together. But I finally gave up a few years ago and stopped commenting.

First, the stories are unbelievable. I feel like I'm talking to a group of pathological liars half the time. It's frustrating to want to have honest and sincere conversations about something so surreal, only to be met with lies. The thing is, I love real stories. I love to take a trip down memory lane myself. I like talking with two friends in person, who have had similar experiences. But the unbelievable stuff, told by people with zero social skills (and to pull off watching a guy undress your wife takes serious social skills to put him as ease to do it), is the opposite of honest and sincere conversations.

Second, the zero social skills. Cuckolding can give off incel vibes (sometimes being an incel is the fantasy). People that are difficult to talk to, or who only want to talk about themselves, are frustrating to talk to by definition. It's terrible pr for cuckolding to, I'd rather it just be a normal thing to stay monogamous to a non-monogamous woman, but it will never be normalized if the people advocating for it are awkward af.

Third, women don't want to be married to beta males. You can be an alpha and a cuck. Being so secure that your wife having a guy on the side doesn't bother you is a sign of strength, being so insecure you can't handle the slightest bit of jealousy is a sign of weakness. Cucks on forums relish in their weakness. I feel bad for their wives. What's worse, they put this forward sacrificing their wife's happiness for their own fetish, when cuckolding is about the wife's happiness and not the husband's.

Just some random thoughts about why I don't post here anymore. Wish you all well.

It's not cuckolding culture you don't like. It's cuckolds and hotwives that don't play in a manner of which you approve. Cuckolding is a many faceted sport. There can be, and are, many variations of the theme. Not all of them are going to appeal to everyone. That really doesn't matter as long as the couples involved are having a good time and what they do meets their needs.

[txrockdog]

The admins of the site have a policy based on "truth is stranger than fiction" so stories cannot be called fiction without violating the rules here. I can understand why they have that rule, but it does produce a very extreme result, which is it's a free for all for the fiction writers.

While it's impossible to determine for a fact that a story is fiction, there are aspects that make it less likely of being true. I'm not saying the aspect means it's not true, just that it is less likely that it is true. These aspects are:

1) Speed: the faster things progress the less likely it is true. While sometimes things can progress fast, they more often progress slow.
2) Inevitability: when the husband in the story acts as if he has zero control of his future, it is less likely to be true. While sometimes a husband has zero control, success in cuckolding relies heavily on communication and boundaries. If a real cuckold has zero control, it is likely doomed for failure.
3) Lack of enjoyment: when the husband can never seem to say anything positive, such as "this is great; I am loving this; or this is everything I dreamed it would be" even after being asked by readers if he is enjoying it, it is less likely to be true. The reason a poster would not want to share his enjoyment in his thread is because his motivation to post is to arouse his readers. His readers are aroused by humiliation, and NOT by joy. Expressing that he likes what he is experiencing is a mood killer to his target readers. A person sharing a real story isn't motivated to post to arouse his readers. He is motivated to share what he enjoys.
4) Take his ball and go home: when a poster threatens to stop posting because of people questioning his story, it is less likely to be true. This is because it's hard to keep a fictional story straight through all the questioning. This is why police detectives question suspects over and over and over again, often with the same question just phrased differently. A suspect who is making up his story will have a hard time keeping his story straight, and so will a fictional cuckold writer. A person telling the truth can answer questions consistently and wouldn't feel the need to stop posting due to questions. In fact, one of their main motivations to post their real story out in the public is to answer questions.
5) Unconfirmed wife postings: when readers begin questioning the validity of the story, the "wife" starts posting using the husband's account to add validity, it is less likely to be true. While there are some wives who don't want their own account, if a wife is posting in the thread to validate what their husband is saying, them being unwilling to become verified goes against their efforts/intent of posting in the thread, and it is probably the poster just acting like his "wife" is posting. Sometimes this is obvious when the husband and wife have the same writing styles.

Again, none of these aspects being present means the story isn't true. It just reduces the likelihood of it being true. And if a story has many of the aspects above, it means it is less and less and less likely to be a true story.

But it is possible that a story could have all the aspects of the above and yet still be true. It would be rare, but as they say, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

There are also lots of readers here on this site that don't care one way or another if the story is true or not. So if a story has a lot of the aspects of the above, don't put a response in the thread about it. Just move on. But, if you are someone here to learn, and want to learn what to do and what not to do, fictional stories aren't good sources of education about this dynamic. So if the aspects above exist in a story, it's probably a good idea to ignore the story from your research.

Something else to add to your list are when writers claim things that are just really unlikely physically. Like when the wife shows up with a chastity cage she bought at a novelty shop and the guy is locked up for weeks on end with no release and never once has any issues with the cage. Every real life account I have read from couples trying out chastity has fits and starts where the guy needs to adjust to the cage over time with short term confinements or tries multiple cages before finding one that fits well and doesn’t lead to irritation and soreness from chafing. Finding one in a local store with no detailed measurements that fits just right and never chafes or causes irritation and that can be worn for weeks at a time with no release is like finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. Not saying it never happens, but it is very unlikely and should be read with skepticism when it is described.

[Bluetoed]

Bluetoed - really interesting breakdown; there's a popular thread on here that I have a gut sense is fiction, and you articulated the reason behind my instinct better than I'd have been able to. That said I guess I'd push back on point 2.. wouldn't you agree that lots of men engage in risky behavior even if it goes against their best interests? I don't see why approaching the lifestyle in an ill-advised fashion necessarily makes it more likely that the events they relate are fake. The thought of my wife disrespecting my boundaries is the hottest thing in the world to me and I genuinely want her to do it, ill advised though it may be.

Hi scarfolamew.

Great question. My perspective in why I said what I did is that it takes two to create this dynamic. Wives in general typically aren't willing to take their marriage and switch it into a completely different extreme without a lot of communication first. And most wives are afraid of crossing lines and going too far, so they typically try things in bits and pieces over time and progress slowly. Eventually, yes it is possible that the marriage dynamic ends up being that the wife can and will do anything and everything, but it would be rare for this extreme dynamic to exist immediately.

That said, some of the stories where this extreme dynamic does exist immediately could be a "based on a true story" situation, where the husband is telling us that she told him "if I do this, it will be done all my way, and there is nothing I can't do, and I probably will do everything", but he doesn't share in his story that she knows to say that because he has asked her to say that (communication). While some would say "well, that's still a true story", they are right to some degree, but the truth is the whole "inevitability" does not really exist, despite the story painting that it does. So the "based on a true story" is taking liberties to make the story more appealing.

As for them men who have this kink, yeah they would probably love it if their wife said those things to him without him ever asking her to say them to him. But again, that would rarely ever happen.

[Bluetoed]

1) Speed: the faster things progress the less likely it is true. While sometimes things can progress fast, they more often progress slow.

Hi Bluetoed,

I agreed with most of everything you've posted except the speed with which sex can happen. Who hasn't had a one-nighter? Those happen quickly.

I remember college parties when sex happened before it could be spontaneous. Drunk coeds have zero inhibitions.

Women know within the first 15 minutes of meeting dudes whether they'll fuck them.

When alcohol is involved, speed that sex can happen will rapidly accelerate.

My wife and I used to work a plan that did not always produce results. When she found that right dude that passed her vetting process, MFM sex would happen within a couple hours. But the planning was done well in advance.

It took many weeks for our latest friend to get on board. He's an exception to our rule of not permitting anyone to become too close for fear our kids might find out that their angelic mother is a bedroom porn star. Circumstances have eliminated risk of our exposure. He's tight friends with my wife's sister's fiancé. We can easily excuse him hanging with us.

We've never been to a swingers club. I've been told that sex at swingers clubs happens within minutes.

So the time variable is not a reliable indicator of veracity.

If one were to use what he or she knows to be true, you can separate the wheat from the chaff. If it reads like poser prevarication, it probably is.

Of course, none of the aforementioned applies to cuckolds because I know little about that lifestyle.

Hi Tank Turner.

Great point. I should have been more specific when I said the word "things". You are correct, that sex is not one of those "things". Sex typically does move fast once the wife has committed to the lifestyle. Her sex drive goes on fire and she can't get enough. So yes, stories where lots of sex happens fast are likely true. That is the observed behavior.

What I meant by "things" are the things that take the humiliation deeper and more extreme. As I said in the post above, wives are typically cautious about taking things too far and crossing boundaries out of the fear of hurting their husband. Humiliating their husband makes most wives uncomfortable unless they are naturally in to femdom. It is very unlikely for a wife to go to the extreme aspects of cuckolding quickly. It's far more common for them to take slow steps in that regard.

[Cuckcuckgoose1]

You all make valid points about true vs not true. The way I look at it is just based on the law of averages, and human nature, that of 100 stories, some are going to be false. Human nature says that we lie. We want to have what others have so we copycat. We want to draw the attention to ourselves. I can't tell you which threads on here are true or not, I hope they are true, but even if it isn't I try to enjoy the story nonetheless.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

I had a lengthy reply prepared that agreed with a lot of what has already been said, but I put it away and thought about it…mostly because I wondered if I’m part of the problem. (I think your feelings are probably widespread.)

Have I been talking too much about myself? Our situation? (Yes. Perhaps.)

About two weeks ago I misread a thread and replied to it. I thought the fellow wanted advice. The first few sentences of his post (and the thread title) suggested he was seeking advice. Had I been more careful and read more closely after that first paragraph, it was obvious he was having a crisis (marital) and was less interested in how my wife and I got started, more interested in how to handle a major speed bump he was experiencing and desperately seeking feedback for.

I confidently clicked the “Submit” button and went to work for the day.

When I got home and logged in, someone had left me a message (basically) chastizing me for not addressing the OP’s needs that he stated in his thread.

I deserved the scolding, actually. I was embarrassed. I deleted my post by editing and erasing it. (It had already been quoted by my chastizer by that point.) Admittedly, I felt a little defensive at first. Wanted to tell the chastizer to eat shit because the OP titled his thread with a misleading title and literally asked for advice from other cucks. I wanted to point that out. I thought I was right and he was an asshole for calling me out like that in front of everyone. There was even another poster after me who evidently read it the same way I did.

Then, I wanted to join the “Take my ball and go home” club. I thought, “Fuck this! Why the fuck do I participate in this forum if I’m just gonna get slapped down by some idiot who can’t see that a reasonable person would have read the OP’s thread-opener the same way I did?”

I took a step back.

Truth be told: I should have read a bit more carefully.

I remember when my wife started cucking me. I was DYING to find a community where I belonged. Ideally, I wanted another cuck like me, but local………someone who’d meet-up with me at a Chili’s or Applebee’s where we could talk about the finer topics that being a cuck creates: Are we less manly because we allow our wives to wander and play? (That’s the way society views cucks, after all.) How do we cope with being outed? Do we think our marriages are “damaged” way down the road by going down this path? The “cuckold psychology” is fascinating to me. I was hoping to find a friend to talk to whom I could trust because he was experiencing a lot of the same feelings I was.

But absent a personal cuck-friend to meet-up with locally, OHW was (and remains) my lifeline for dealing with the psychology of cuckoldry. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times you guys (and gals) have helped me keep my sanity all these years. You have “saved” me.

I get it! I understand what you’re seeking, and I want to seek that peace with you.

In retrospect, though, I wonder if I have been guilty of talking about myself, our experiences, too much, like you say. Conceit and egotism does not make for attractive relationships, like you indicate.

In the past, I’ve had a person (or two? I don’t remember, honestly) tell me that I’m a liar, that I’m full of shit…….one of these pathological liars that you speak of. (Another one of those moments when I’ve wanted to join the “Take my ball and go home” club.)

I’m saddened when people don’t believe our story, but I’m sure that it’s due to the amount of detail I include.

I am a man who processes my thoughts through the written word. (There aren’t many of us these days.) I am TORTURED by wanting to capture every painstaking detail I can remember and then articulating it in the most accurate terms possible. (I am perpetually second-guessing every word I write…even now as I write these words.) At first, I thought an online community such as ours would appreciate a detail-rich storyteller. What I’ve discovered is that too much detail makes readers skeptical. They instead point fingers and cry “bullshit.”

I absolutely SAVOR the cucking that my wife has made of me. It has been one of the best (and worst?) experiences I’ve ever had in my entire life. I merely want to preserve EVERY DETAIL through the permanence of the written word…….something that can NEVER be retracted once I tap that “Submit” button. I feel like I was born to be a cuck, and I feel so lucky to have a beautiful and loving wife who has been willing to make it a reality.

That said, because I am a “practicing storyteller,” I often intuitively sense the pathological lying that you do too. Details don’t line up. Word choices are incongruent. Having been someone who struggles with the psychology of being a cuck, I recognize tell-tale signs of struggle in another cuck’s story. If I don’t see a sign once, it’s a one-off. If I don’t see a don’t see a different sign within that same narrative, I become skeptical but not dismissive. If I don’t see a third sign, again, within that member’s narrative, I lean toward “Bullshit,” but I don’t cry it out because of OHW’s rules. The nail in the coffin for me is when a member’s future post STILL makes no allusion to a struggle that nearly every one of us true cucks has had to endure.

I’m sure you’ve heard of “stolen valor.” If not Google it. Better yet, YouTube it! Assholes who steal valor often can’t fill in some of the most basic events of their service to the country whose uniform they wear (America, GB, Germany, Australia, etc.). “Where were you stationed?” “What was your MOS?” “Why were you awarded this ribbon?” “Why are you wearing your uniform incorrectly?”

“Stolen cuckoldry” works similarly. “How did your wife react the first time you mentioned it to her?” (There is a correct way to answer this MOST of the time.) “What happened the first time your wife cucked you?” (There is a correct way to answer this MOST of the time.) “How have you coped with your cuckoldry?” (There is a correct way to answer this MOST of the time.) Take dubious answers to questions such as these AND details that just don’t line up well, a sudden subtle change in tone or mood, word choices that don’t seem to be appropriate for the narrative, and call it “stolen cuckoldry.”

But because of OHW’s rules, we don’t call them out. (I am trying to train myself to see the name at the top of a post and skip right over it……I’ve had mixed results because subsequent posters quote him, so I have to figure out what they’re alluding to.)

In summary, at the very least, I hope that my writing (our story?) hasn’t been the source of any unpleasant feelings you have about cucks here, on OHW. As I’ve admitted, I’ve been a little too eager to share, and I’ve misread an OP’s initial post. I wonder if I’ve done that before, but no one was willing to call me out on it. I vow to slow down! And finally, too much detail makes people skeptical. (I don’t know what to do about this. It’s how I process experiences.). “Stolen cuckoldry” will eventually reveal itself. It will go away. If it doesn’t, you can smugly ignore them.

P.S. If you’re ever in Denver/Colorado Springs, drop me a PM. We can meet up at a Chili’s or an Applebee’s some afternoon.

[theothercuck]

I had a lengthy reply prepared that agreed with a lot of what has already been said, but I put it away and thought about it…mostly because I wondered if I’m part of the problem. (I think your feelings are probably widespread.)

Have I been talking too much about myself? Our situation? (Yes. Perhaps.)

About two weeks ago I misread a thread and replied to it. I thought the fellow wanted advice. The first few sentences of his post (and the thread title) suggested he was seeking advice. Had I been more careful and read more closely after that first paragraph, it was obvious he was having a crisis (marital) and was less interested in how my wife and I got started, more interested in how to handle a major speed bump he was experiencing and desperately seeking feedback for.

I confidently clicked the “Submit” button and went to work for the day.

When I got home and logged in, someone had left me a message (basically) chastizing me for not addressing the OP’s needs that he stated in his thread.

I deserved the scolding, actually. I was embarrassed. I deleted my post by editing and erasing it. (It had already been quoted by my chastizer by that point.) Admittedly, I felt a little defensive at first. Wanted to tell the chastizer to eat shit because the OP titled his thread with a misleading title and literally asked for advice from other cucks. I wanted to point that out. I thought I was right and he was an asshole for calling me out like that in front of everyone. There was even another poster after me who evidently read it the same way I did.

Then, I wanted to join the “Take my ball and go home” club. I thought, “Fuck this! Why the fuck do I participate in this forum if I’m just gonna get slapped down by some idiot who can’t see that a reasonable person would have read the OP’s thread-opener the same way I did?”

I took a step back.

Truth be told: I should have read a bit more carefully.

I remember when my wife started cucking me. I was DYING to find a community where I belonged. Ideally, I wanted another cuck like me, but local………someone who’d meet-up with me at a Chili’s or Applebee’s where we could talk about the finer topics that being a cuck creates: Are we less manly because we allow our wives to wander and play? (That’s the way society views cucks, after all.) How do we cope with being outed? Do we think our marriages are “damaged” way down the road by going down this path? The “cuckold psychology” is fascinating to me. I was hoping to find a friend to talk to whom I could trust because he was experiencing a lot of the same feelings I was.

But absent a personal cuck-friend to meet-up with locally, OHW was (and remains) my lifeline for dealing with the psychology of cuckoldry. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times you guys (and gals) have helped me keep my sanity all these years. You have “saved” me.

I get it! I understand what you’re seeking, and I want to seek that peace with you.

In retrospect, though, I wonder if I have been guilty of talking about myself, our experiences, too much, like you say. Conceit and egotism does not make for attractive relationships, like you indicate.

In the past, I’ve had a person (or two? I don’t remember, honestly) tell me that I’m a liar, that I’m full of shit…….one of these pathological liars that you speak of. (Another one of those moments when I’ve wanted to join the “Take my ball and go home” club.)

I’m saddened when people don’t believe our story, but I’m sure that it’s due to the amount of detail I include.

I am a man who processes my thoughts through the written word. (There aren’t many of us these days.) I am TORTURED by wanting to capture every painstaking detail I can remember and then articulating it in the most accurate terms possible. (I am perpetually second-guessing every word I write…even now as I write these words.) At first, I thought an online community such as ours would appreciate a detail-rich storyteller. What I’ve discovered is that too much detail makes readers skeptical. They instead point fingers and cry “bullshit.”

I absolutely SAVOR the cucking that my wife has made of me. It has been one of the best (and worst?) experiences I’ve ever had in my entire life. I merely want to preserve EVERY DETAIL through the permanence of the written word…….something that can NEVER be retracted once I tap that “Submit” button. I feel like I was born to be a cuck, and I feel so lucky to have a beautiful and loving wife who has been willing to make it a reality.

That said, because I am a “practicing storyteller,” I often intuitively sense the pathological lying that you do too. Details don’t line up. Word choices are incongruent. Having been someone who struggles with the psychology of being a cuck, I recognize tell-tale signs of struggle in another cuck’s story. If I don’t see a sign once, it’s a one-off. If I don’t see a don’t see a different sign within that same narrative, I become skeptical but not dismissive. If I don’t see a third sign, again, within that member’s narrative, I lean toward “Bullshit,” but I don’t cry it out because of OHW’s rules. The nail in the coffin for me is when a member’s future post STILL makes no allusion to a struggle that nearly every one of us true cucks has had to endure.

I’m sure you’ve heard of “stolen valor.” If not Google it. Better yet, YouTube it! Assholes who steal valor often can’t fill in some of the most basic events of their service to the country whose uniform they wear (America, GB, Germany, Australia, etc.). “Where were you stationed?” “What was your MOS?” “Why were you awarded this ribbon?” “Why are you wearing your uniform incorrectly?”

“Stolen cuckoldry” works similarly. “How did your wife react the first time you mentioned it to her?” (There is a correct way to answer this MOST of the time.) “What happened the first time your wife cucked you?” (There is a correct way to answer this MOST of the time.) “How have you coped with your cuckoldry?” (There is a correct way to answer this MOST of the time.) Take dubious answers to questions such as these AND details that just don’t line up well, a sudden subtle change in tone or mood, word choices that don’t seem to be appropriate for the narrative, and call it “stolen cuckoldry.”

But because of OHW’s rules, we don’t call them out. (I am trying to train myself to see the name at the top of a post and skip right over it……I’ve had mixed results because subsequent posters quote him, so I have to figure out what they’re alluding to.)

In summary, at the very least, I hope that my writing (our story?) hasn’t been the source of any unpleasant feelings you have about cucks here, on OHW. As I’ve admitted, I’ve been a little too eager to share, and I’ve misread an OP’s initial post. I wonder if I’ve done that before, but no one was willing to call me out on it. I vow to slow down! And finally, too much detail makes people skeptical. (I don’t know what to do about this. It’s how I process experiences.). “Stolen cuckoldry” will eventually reveal itself. It will go away. If it doesn’t, you can smugly ignore them.

P.S. If you’re ever in Denver/Colorado Springs, drop me a PM. We can meet up at a Chili’s or an Applebee’s some afternoon.

Thanks for the reply, it was honest. I think we come here for the same reasons. Sadly I'm not in the Denver area, I'm in Montreal. And given that I'm single now, even if I ever were in the Denver area, I'd much rather meet up with your wife

[little sissy Benita]

I mean cuckolding is a broad spectrum - just as there are different ways to achieve your goal.
Some things that others like, I don't like - and others don't understand my lifestyle either.

Common acceptance and tolerance should be the order of the day - if you attack or destroy yourself from within - then everything would be doomed to failure.

Your idea that it's about the wife's pleasure - I completely agree with you. The wife sets the tone and her wishes come first.

litte Benita

[knight4princess]

We've never been to a swingers club. I've been told that sex at swingers clubs happens within minutes.

We've been to swing clubs all across the country. It is EXTREMELY rare that sex happens "within minutes." So you should delete that one from your argument.

I think the "speed" being talked about is the timeframe, in a story, between the time a naive and "conservative" wife goes from that to being a callous bitch who gives no thought to her hubby's feelings -- and only can think of her new boyfriend's great big cock while making hubby "pussy free."

In any event, it's good to have a discussion about suspected fake stories on here without actually violating the rules and discussing it in a specific thread or referring to specific threads.

There are a lot of great stories on here that are true as well and I especially enjoy those.

[trecital]

First, the stories are unbelievable. I feel like I'm talking to a group of pathological liars half the time.

You say "half the time", but generalise that "the stories are unbelievable. So I'm not sure whether you think all the stories are fiction or just half of them.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the sentiment you are expressing. It is indeed frustrating to start reading a thread, only to find it quickly degenerates into a story about a 'bull' with a 10 or 12 inch cock, the husband transforming into a sissy within weeks, etc, etc
But what is the solution? You have decided that the 'community' isn't for you. Ok, but sometimes you have to wade through some shit to find the gems. And they do exist.
Also it is very difficult to fully know if a story is true or not. We can only read it and make our own minds up.

[trecital]

As for the alphas and betas, there are many guys here who are professionals, successful, and alpha in their day job. Their wives have not married beta guys. But sex is different and these episodes offer a break from the day job: where the cuckold can be beta and drop the pressure of being alpha. And of course for many husbands, it is their own real-life porn show: no-one who has seen their wife being fucked by another guy can forget the experience.

This!

I'm beta in the bedroom, but alpha outside of it. That contrast is what excited me the most.
It's a bit like that saying, of how men want their wives to be....."goddess in the kitchen, slut/whore in the bedroom". And why not?

[trecital]

The admins of the site have a policy based on "truth is stranger than fiction" so stories cannot be called fiction without violating the rules here. I can understand why they have that rule, but it does produce a very extreme result, which is it's a free for all for the fiction writers.

It is indeed a problem, if believability is what you are looking for.
Personally I don't mind reading something that I'm pretty sure is fiction, providing it is well written, and stays within the realms of what is believable.
Problem is, how do you arbitrate on believability? It's impossible. However, I do feel that the mods here are erring too far on the side of a light touch approach. It wouldn't hurt to see a bit more visibility in terms of moderation, in my opinion.

[trecital]

I’m saddened when people don’t believe our story, but I’m sure that it’s due to the amount of detail I include.

I'm of the opposite opinion. It's often the detail that makes a story credible, in my opinion. The one handed story writers, their other hand firmly around their dick, concentrate only on the broad picture......the massive size of the bulls dick, how small their own is, how their wife has put them into a chastity cage permanently, etc, etc. It's the detail in a story that often draws you in, gives it credibility. Because, when you've experienced being a cuckold (or a bull), you know those little details are important. Yes, we want to know if the boyfriend/bull has a bigger dick, but we also want to know something more about him. To know that he's more than just an object with a massive cock attached. We want to know something about the wife/girlfriend (more than just the typical 'model looks' nonsense). And about the Cuck (again, something more than "I've got a tiny cock"). It's the detail that paints the fuller picture, and something the one handed typist can't/won't be bothered to write.

[Bluetoed]

The admins of the site have a policy based on "truth is stranger than fiction" so stories cannot be called fiction without violating the rules here. I can understand why they have that rule, but it does produce a very extreme result, which is it's a free for all for the fiction writers.

It is indeed a problem, if believability is what you are looking for.
Personally I don't mind reading something that I'm pretty sure is fiction, providing it is well written, and stays within the realms of what is believable.
Problem is, how do you arbitrate on believability? It's impossible. However, I do feel that the mods here are erring too far on the side of a light touch approach. It wouldn't hurt to see a bit more visibility in terms of moderation, in my opinion.

Yep. If you are here for entertainment, I don't see the issue with some stories being fiction. But if you are here to learn about this dynamic and how it relates to you (as many are), fiction is really a bad source to be using to learn. And if you want a place to send your wife to learn about your kink, her reading fiction probably isn't a good idea either. As they say, you can't please everyone. No matter what the admins do, it's not going to be the right thing for some readers here.

[Dream Weaver]

People that are difficult to talk to, or who only want to talk about themselves, are frustrating to talk to by definition.

Cucks on forums relish in their weakness. I feel bad for their wives. What's worse, they put this forward sacrificing their wife's happiness for their own fetish, when cuckolding is about the wife's happiness and not the husband's.

Maybe you're on to something.

I think online cuckolding discussions can bring out the worst in cuckolds and wannabe cuckolds. In a word, it's selfishness. I know that I've been guilty of it, and I believe most men who find their way to an online forum about cuckolding are guilty of it as well. We all tend to want to talk about ourselves, which isn't a great recipe for a healthy back-and-forth.

I participate in other unrelated forums, and a good thread topic will almost always spawn a lengthy discussion, tangent upon tangent, with friendly banter and heated debates. This tends not to be true with online cuckolding discussions. That's not unique to OHW, which fantastic and orders of magnitude better for hotwifing and cuckolding than anything else in the internet.

The threads that get the most engagement are "controversial" topics like this one, because everyone puts his dick back in his pants and writes what he's thinking. In contrast, if a guy were to post a torrid description about his wife's first MFM threesome, he might be lucky to get a few follow-up comments. Or someone might change the subject to himself and his own favorite kink, or engage in a game of one-upsmanship in the standard online race to the bottom to see who can come up with the most perverse scenario and who is the most pathetic loser of the group, because it's only hot if you're the most pathetic. And some posters think, "This is all BS" and move on.

When conversations about cuckolding dies it's because of all of us.

What sexual fetish isn't "selfishness"? People are allowed to be human. We hope we can use our brains to act in a dignified way to separate us from animals.

Some people here I find off-puting because it's so clearly a spank bank they don't even read threads and ask stupid questions, or suck up all the oxygen in threads by compulsive posting. Some people here have great takes. Some people here tell lies. Some people here tell the truth. Some people are a little bit of everything.

I'm glad it never descended into a Reddit style porn thread churn system.

Over 20 years I've found myself going back and forth between "live and let live" and "oh shit this fetish is weird."

[Dwightdalwood]

It's like the person on Facebook announcing they are deleting their account.

[SheLikesWhenIWatch]

I’m saddened when people don’t believe our story, but I’m sure that it’s due to the amount of detail I include.

I'm of the opposite opinion. It's often the detail that makes a story credible, in my opinion. The one handed story writers, their other hand firmly around their dick, concentrate only on the broad picture......the massive size of the bulls dick, how small their own is, how their wife has put them into a chastity cage permanently, etc, etc. It's the detail in a story that often draws you in, gives it credibility. Because, when you've experienced being a cuckold (or a bull), you know those little details are important. Yes, we want to know if the boyfriend/bull has a bigger dick, but we also want to know something more about him. To know that he's more than just an object with a massive cock attached. We want to know something about the wife/girlfriend (more than just the typical 'model looks' nonsense). And about the Cuck (again, something more than "I've got a tiny cock"). It's the detail that paints the fuller picture, and something the one handed typist can't/won't be bothered to write.

But I worry that, by dwelling on details, the audience will think, “This guy is fantasizing, not truth-telling.”

Like you say, honing in on detail has the opposite effect for you, and I wish that were true of all OHW readers. For me, something as simple as noting that, for example, my wife’s boyfriend’s cum was thick and pearly white as he rolls off of her is important because it speaks to the fact that he’s not wanking/jerking off much (thus, the thickness), if at all, because he KNOWS my wife will be available to take his seed. A bull never needs to masturbate, right? On the other hand (pun intended, I guess!), readers are left to think about how runny their own seed is. (“You know you’re a cuck when…” your cum is perpetually runny…unless you’re caged. In which case, caged and all, I’m pretty sure you know you’re a cuck!”)

I worry that, by appearing preoccupied with one detail for so many words, readers will think I’m just some fixating liar.

I’m not going to stop what I’m doing, though.

I know I’m a truth-teller (all that really matters in the end), and I’m still on a personal mission to make EVERY detail permanent through the written word.

The Epic of Gilgamesh, one of the world’s oldest stories, is so remarkable because SOMEONE thought to write it down in cuneiform on clay tablets which were then carefully wrapped and stored (and subsequently “buried” … literally AND in history) for us to discover thousands of years later.

Maybe one day, thousands of years from now, scholars will read our forum…..my detailed experiences……yours, too…..and acknowledge that our evolution (human evolution) took a turn with cuckoldry. What we seek from the women whom we love, the women who love us, is precisely counterintuitive to humanity’s biological prime directive, to cast our genetic net wide and far.

Cuckolds like us take delight in running the other way, wanting our women to carry (even metaphorically) another man’s genetic blueprint.

Imagine being the scholar who has to figure out “Why?”.

(I’m sorry I’m so tortured, here! I’ll get over it! Existentialism has never been more provocative than in cuckoldry.)