Tips for a New Cuckoldress

[bella-joy]

Hi all, my husband and I have been navigating different aspects and dynamics of the world of nonmonogamy, swinging, and hotwifing for a few years now. We have accumulated quite a few experiences (some good, some lackluster) but never quite found a dynamic that works for us (do you see where this is going? ). I will admit I was hesitant to explore the cuckolding dynamic and had a hard time giving it a chance to develop between us. Fast forward to the present, and I have slowly become enamored with the power exchange, adventure, and chance for pleasure and exploration offered by this lifestyle, all while enjoying a stable and supportive relationship with hubby.

One of the turning points for me was admittedly a date I had last December with a handsome black gentleman who was fairly well endowed and had the sexiest energy in the bedroom. I had been with around 7-8 different guys through swinging and hotwifing before this one, but none were able to make me orgasm and all were smaller in size than my husband. I think I was a little fed up and let my husband convince me to let him try to find a suitor for me. Why did I wait so long??

Hubby and I are still exploring and working out exactly how we can both get the most out of this experience and he recommended that I take a look at this forum to hear others' experiences. I am not by nature the most dominant or "mean" person but right now I am trying to learn what I can and slowly embody the cuckoldress role more and more. If I'm honest I find the whole dynamic incredibly erotic and am eager to learn and grow.

We live in a fairly rural area (think small college town surrounded by rural counties) so the logistics can be difficult, but we are within a 2 hour drive to a major US city so I'm sure there will be opportunities to explore my wild side! Please share any tips! xx

[Celesissy]

Apart from having sex with other men, how do you make your husband your cuckold (and more to the point, what would he like). You could lock him in a chastity cage, either full time, or just when you are with another man. Even better, tease him before you go, bring him to the edge and then lock him up, leaving him frustrated whilst he knows you are having fun elsewhere? Maybe make him wear frilly panties. And when you return from your date, do you make him go down on you.

There are lots of ways to make his status more meaningful to him, depending on how submissive he is or wants to be. The danger is that if you do nothing, other than pop out for a quickie with another man now and again then he might get bored and resentful.

[trecital]

There are lots of ideas to be gleaned from this forum.

But, if you want to be the cuckoldress that your husband wants you to be, then it's important that you find out what cuck type things press his buttons.
Maybe make a list of activities, then get him to put them in order of preference, maybe rate them out of 100.

I'm assuming that your husband wants to be cucked? Him recommending you look here certainly suggests that.

One thing that many women struggle with, I think, is in humiliating, demeaning (or however you want to phrase it) their husband, that they love. Same with applying physical pain. I can only suggest that you approach it as if you are an actress, playing a role. Remember that your husband doesn't want you to permanently think less of him. Only during your cuckold activity. Just make sure that afterwards you tell each other that you love each other.

Does he want to be included to some degree or other? Or does he think he'd prefer to stay at home while you go out?
I'd suggest that, as far as possible, he's included. If not, then as Celesissy above said, he could get resentful.

It's important that you all get something out of these encounters. You get some great sex from another man, the other man gets some great sex from another woman, and hubby gets his cuckold itches scratched.

But, I go back to my first point.....try to find out what hubbies real desires are, what turns him on the most about cuckolding. And see how much you can satisfy those desires, while still getting your own pleasure from the situation.

Good luck, and keep us informed.

[elina]

Dearest Bella-Joy.

Thank You so much for joining the forum.
Just looking at your profile picture, it seems like you are a beautiful Lady and I hope you will be able to navigate your relationships to ensuer that you keep your husbands devotion while at the same time are able to to fully enjoy the sex You deserve like what you recently experienced with the Handsome Black Gentlemen you recently met.

It is not required for you to be mean to develop into a natural cuckoldress, and I believe your confidence will grow as you gain experience. You may want to post some pictures (avoid showing your face for discretion) in the hotties section, and watch the feedback. I think in general, there are so many Beautiful, incredibly sexy Ladies who think they are just ordinary, I think you may experience men drooling over your pictures and trying to convince you how beautiful you are.

Also, how to navigate this is very much dependent about what your husband thinks. Is he actively encouraging you to make the transition to Cuckoldress? He encouraged you to post on this site so I assume he knows the site and is already posting? Maybe you could ask him to introduce himself here in this thread.

Having said that, I think a good place to start is for you to start twirling your husband around your little finger a little more than you do. Start by telling him that if he wants you to be a cuckoldress he must get used to doing more of the chores around the house and in general becoming much more attentive to you. If you want another cup of coffee or water, don't get up if your hubby is around. Tell him that you are now busy setting up a new meeting with your favorite black gentleman and ask him to be a good cuckold and fetch you a glass of water or whatever.

Also, cuddle your husband, play with his dick, make him hard and then tell him the details of how you enjoyed sex with this Black Gentleman and how your really need this kind of sex. Don't let him cum. Try to see if you can get him to agree not to cum again untill you have been able to enjoy yourself with this male again, charm him, tease him, make him eat your pussy, but don''t let him cum. To me the essential difference between being a Hotwife and a Cuckoldress is that a Cuckoldress will have the attitude that this is about HER pleasure and that her cuck husband must learn that his pleasure comes from helping his belowed Wife and Cuckoldress get the sexual pleasures She desires.

Please tell us how you are doing, what appears to be working for you, and I am sure you will get more responses down the road.

Sincerely
elina
(submissive male)

[MartasBoy]

..... I am not by nature the most dominant or "mean" person but right now I am trying to learn what I can and slowly embody the cuckoldress role more and more. If I'm honest I find the whole dynamic incredibly erotic and am eager to learn and grow. ......

I can speak to this from a guy's perspective. While you are finding the things that you enjoy most about your new freedom, we guys have a wide variety of fantasy surrounding this experience that we usually hope to satisfy.

It helps for the two of you to sit down and talk about each of the things that you find most enjoyable and exciting about it. We guys are usually much more fantasy and fetish driven than you women are. And, we have usually been thinking about this lifestyle for decades before you decided to try it. He very likely has an extensive set of fantasies and fetishes woven around this lifestyle. If you find out what some of his interests and Fantasies are, you can have fun playing with them.

Some of us like the feeling of powerlessness of our wife taking charge, and making decisions about her body and sex life, that we have no control over. Some have a fantasy for a lot of that, some just a little. Find out what he likes.

Some husbands like humiliation or belittlement. Some of us like being told that the other guy is a better lover than we are. Some guys like small penis humiliation (SPH).

Some guys like being made to watch and taunted and teased about it. Other guys just like to watch without the teasing and taunting. Some guys get turned on by their wife being dominant over them, bossing them around, telling them what to do in preparation for their date, and while they are watching.

Some guys like enhanced feelings of helplessness, like being tied up, or placed in a chastity device, while they are made to watch their wife with another man. This is the most intense feeling of helplessness, too watch another man enjoying your wife, but not being able to touch your own penis and pleasure yourself, until the wife grants permission later. Some of us are very much into this, other men absolutely not at all.

Some men like it if the lover acts a little dominant, like he is taking possession of the wife away from the husband. Some men like to have an equal relationship with the boyfriend, to chat with him and drink a beer with him before and after. Other husbands don't care to have any relationship with the boyfriend at all, but get excited about watching their wife leaving the house, all dressed up for a date, and then coming home a disheveled sexually satisfied mess.

Some guys have fantasies about being made insignificant, and being denied access to having sex with their wife. They get off on the wife telling them that her boyfriend is special, and is her lover now, and he expects to own her exclusively and the husband is shut out and denied. Other husbands love being allowed to do reclaiming sex, to reclaim their wife when she returns home from a date.

Some husbands like the element of risk and danger. Being teased with the prospect that they might lose access to their wife as a their lover. They get excited at being told that the wife now gets all of her needs met by her boyfriend, and intends to be exclusive with him, turning the husband into her house boy.

Some husbands like their wife exercising financial domination. They like being made to pay for sexy lingerie, date outfits and things that are solely for the pleasure of the wife's lover. Some husbands like knowing that their credit card is being used to pay for an expensive dinner, and a nice hotel room.

Some guys are very basic and just like knowing that their wife is enjoying pleasure with someone else, maybe hearing about the details afterwards, and possibly reclamation sex when she returns home. So I would suggest you find out more about what your husband likes and give him some excitement over whatever his fantasies are. Knowing his fantasy thank you wife, gives you more freedom to do things that fit within that.

If your husband enjoys you being dominant and mean, just think of it as a fun role play. A bit of theater. If you ever did any acting in a play in high school, just think of it as play acting and playing a role.

You were probably raised to understand that it is not nice for girls to be mean to boys and put them down. But some of us actually get very excited about that. Reframe your thinking to understand that, if he has those fantasies, you aren't being really mean, you are being a very giving wife, playing mean with him, to feed a fantasy for that.

I get very excited when my wife says, "Honey I'm sorry, I can't have sex with you. I'm a little sore from the long night of sex I had with him last night. I need a night to recover. And then I want to save myself for my next time with him, because he can give me incredible orgasms through intercourse, in ways that you have never been able to do. I'm sorry. It's just the way it is. But I'll hold you, and you can kiss me while you masturbate." This would normally be considered an incredibly cruel thing for a wife to say to her husband, but it fits my fantasies and gets me incredibly turned on to where I have very intense orgasms.

[bella-joy]

Thank you, everyone! These are very thoughtful and helpful responses. I'm looking forward to discussing more with hubby. I don't have a date scheduled, but I'll be sure to update you all when I do! xx

[luvymayfly2]

Cuckolding can change feelings between partners. Certain acts such as you feeding your husband a cream pie likely will change how you view him. I recommend that you stay connected sexually on the regular. Gentle, soothing, loving intercourse can be a nice juxtaposition to the fucking you get from your lover. At some point, you are going to feel that your pussy belongs to your lover. You will feel it. Your lover will feel it. Your husband is going to feel it. Be conscious of the love connection with your husband and do not neglect it.

[kellycuckoldsmark]

I will throw my two cents in to the excellent advice already written.

Picking up on your comment of not being able to be mean. Kelly would say the same thing and that she still isn't to do this day. As with everything in this life it is all about communication. Kelly didn't want to be mean and call me names or things but as we talked she saw - literally - how I liked to hear about big he was (she isn't a size queen) or how he made her feel, what he did, etc. How having me buy her lingerie that only another man would see. I had to tell her a lot of my desires, which I admit I found a little awkward as like many cucks I am an alpha male in every part of life.

You sound like you are both in this for both of you. You have a loving husband who wants you to enjoy your sexuality and wants to experience his sexuality through being a cuckold. Talk, try something, talk honestly about how you both experienced it with no judgement and keep moving forward.

As you read the posts here, it's all about what works for you two as no two couples are the same in any area of life and this is especially true in a cuckolding relationship.

Hope we get to read how things progress.

[mundyman]

Communicate, communicate, communicate with your husband.
It sounds like you’ve kind of been doing this as you have entered the hotwifing pool. It sounds like you’re about chest deep as you’ve already been on dates, had sex, but nothing has rocked your world yet.
Have fun with your husband choosing your next date, and perhaps helping you decide what that dating experience will be.
You could both then share what you find exciting and what turns you on.
Just remember there are as many variations of this lifestyle as there are fish in the sea, and that what works for one or some couples may not work for you. As you read this forum I’m sure you'll learn something from this couple, and something from that couple, and decide you’ll never do what some other couples do.
I might suggest you go to the top of the page, click on the Board Index tab and then look at the Hotwife, Cuckold, and Library threads to sample almost every derivation of the lifestyle; from couples who’s have open relationships on both sides, to strict cuckoldresses who control every aspect of their husband’s sex life while having free ranging and wild sexual exploits with other men.
Have fun reading all of these threads, and sharing them with your husband as you continue to journey through this lifestyle.
Please keep, us updated on all of your exciting adventures, both the successes and not quite so successful experiences. As you’ll hopefully learn from others experiences, your adventures could also help others.
Good luck!!!

[Mr_Bent_Over]

Echoing the excellent advice given prior I would add only a couple of items. Communication is essential in that unless this has already occurred and the two of you have addressed it, don't be surprised when it occurs; feelings for the other. It's pretty hard to keep emotional attachment or deep feelings out of the relationship, just make sure both of you are prepared to have a very deep conversation when this happens. For us it was about a year into the relationship she confessed she loved him deeply. She did not want to replace me but felt ashamed at the fact she had fallen for another man in addition to myself. We talked and worked through it with success, although it was not overnight. In the end it did work out, but you must not sidestep that conversation if it occurs for you, don't be ashamed of it, embrace it, embrace him, your husband, and the new dynamic in your marriage.

Now, for a little less deep. This occurred quite by accident one evening after she had returned home and I began to enjoy my dessert. I added some toys to the mix and upon pulling out a lifelike vibrator from her it had a large amount of cum on it. Not wanting to waste it I brought it to my mouth, used my tongue to catch the deliciousness, and then proceeded to swallow not only his load but the cock as well. She reacted noticeably and I was nervous as I thought I just offended her by sucking on a cock. She admitted the sight of a cock in my mouth turned her on and enjoyed watching me suck it. I was "told" that I should continue as it might bring her an orgasm and more pleasure. Not wanting to disappoint her, I enjoyed sucking it while she played with herself resulting in a very intense orgasm.

We introduced this into our play by first having me underneath her an her partner while he fucked her from behind. Every minute or two he would pull out and slide his dick into my mouth where I would "surprisingly" worship it and make sure it was very wet. He made mention every time his cock was in my mouth that I was now his "cocksucker"; well this would send her even higher in her arousal. It didn't take long for him to unload into her, upon which I cleaned a very large load of their juices off him and out of her. Later she would have me pleasing him in front of her and from this she enjoyed great pleasure. So I will say that in our case she is very turned on by my being with another man; which I enjoy for two reasons, it pleases me and it really satisfies her, which is the most important aspect for me the cuckold.

Hope this gives another little bit of info from which you can experiment.

[MartasBoy]

Thank you, everyone! These are very thoughtful and helpful responses. I'm looking forward to discussing more with hubby. I don't have a date scheduled, but I'll be sure to update you all when I do! xx

I definitely look forward to hearing more about what you discover about your husband's various fantasies surrounding this. I also wonder, what would be your primary fantasies that you would like to explore in all of this?

[funfortwo]

Thank you, everyone! These are very thoughtful and helpful responses. I'm looking forward to discussing more with hubby. I don't have a date scheduled, but I'll be sure to update you all when I do! xx

Sounds like you are on the right path. Keep talking and communicating with each other and talk about what you BOTH want out of this dynamic, discuss what you like most and find out what really gets him aroused. We started with hotwifing, which we both thought would never happen, and we're still exploring one year later. She has come to really enjoy the experiences as it provides her with confidence that someone, other than her husband, desires her. In her words, it gives her some power. We transitioned into some chastity play and she admits now that she enjoys sex with her BF, that is also a very well endowed black gentleman and she denies me sex prior to their meetings. She is starting to open up about what she likes and playing into my desires, although she doesn't want to hurt my feelings. This dynamic is fulfilling for all three participants, but keep your relationship as the most important of the three. Good luck on your discussion and enjoy the ride.

[bjpw]

Hey everyone, Bella's cuckold here. Thank you all for sharing the advice you've offered. It's given me and Bella quite a bit to talk about over the last week. Bella's last date was in December I believe and up to that point it seems we couldn't get clarity about what she wanted or how much we should explore nonmonogamy, etc. Recent conversations and education have helped things a lot, and the feeling is very different between us. I feel like she and I both know what she wants and she seems intent on getting it. A new silicone dildo has helped bridge the gap a little between fantasy and reality.

[elina]

Hey everyone, Bella's cuckold here. Thank you all for sharing the advice you've offered. It's given me and Bella quite a bit to talk about over the last week. Bella's last date was in December I believe and up to that point it seems we couldn't get clarity about what she wanted or how much we should explore nonmonogamy, etc. Recent conversations and education have helped things a lot, and the feeling is very different between us. I feel like she and I both know what she wants and she seems intent on getting it. A new silicone dildo has helped bridge the gap a little between fantasy and reality.

Thank you for introducing yourself bjpw

Do I understand it correctly that you also really want Her to do what She now has accepted She wants and is intent on getting?

Just looking at Her profile picture you seem to be married to a wonderfully sexy Lady. Hopefully, I really hope both of you will derrive a lot of satisfaction from Her actually realizing and getting what She wants!!!

Please keep us posted.

Sincerely
elina

[bjpw]

Do I understand it correctly that you also really want Her to do what She now has accepted She wants and is intent on getting?

YES…haha, this is definitely a fetish of mine. More than my specific fantasies, I am most excited to see Bella more fully enjoy her sexual power. I love the confidence she shows and the wild look in her eye when we talk about things to come. I've tried throughout to offer her the opportunity to get what she wants without pressuring her to do more than she really has a craving for (though I admit to planting ideas in her head from time to time).

[scdawg]

Hi all, my husband and I have been navigating different aspects and dynamics of the world of nonmonogamy, swinging, and hotwifing for a few years now. We have accumulated quite a few experiences (some good, some lackluster) but never quite found a dynamic that works for us (do you see where this is going? ). I will admit I was hesitant to explore the cuckolding dynamic and had a hard time giving it a chance to develop between us. Fast forward to the present, and I have slowly become enamored with the power exchange, adventure, and chance for pleasure and exploration offered by this lifestyle, all while enjoying a stable and supportive relationship with hubby.

One of the turning points for me was admittedly a date I had last December with a handsome black gentleman who was fairly well endowed and had the sexiest energy in the bedroom. I had been with around 7-8 different guys through swinging and hotwifing before this one, but none were able to make me orgasm and all were smaller in size than my husband. I think I was a little fed up and let my husband convince me to let him try to find a suitor for me. Why did I wait so long??

Hubby and I are still exploring and working out exactly how we can both get the most out of this experience and he recommended that I take a look at this forum to hear others' experiences. I am not by nature the most dominant or "mean" person but right now I am trying to learn what I can and slowly embody the cuckoldress role more and more. If I'm honest I find the whole dynamic incredibly erotic and am eager to learn and grow.

We live in a fairly rural area (think small college town surrounded by rural counties) so the logistics can be difficult, but we are within a 2 hour drive to a major US city so I'm sure there will be opportunities to explore my wild side! Please share any tips! xx

yea it's scripted , but she knows her stuff.
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php? ... 19b8a58856
she ramps it up by taunting her husband sucking cock.
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php? ... 363641bb6e

Hot. Bet your hub would LOVE it if you did something like. this. You could even use real pictures of that black guy and go on and o about how big he is and how much better.