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The end was good, except by him staying married. losing 16 years of his life to raise two bastard kids...And raising them all wrong as the boy ended fucking his sister and hid mom...At least he could have raised them to be two decent human beings...

The end was good, except by him staying married. losing 16 years of his life to raise two bastard kids...And raising them all wrong as the boy ended fucking his sister and hid mom...At least he could have raised them to be two decent human beings...

Feeling pretty nostalgic. Almost a 3 years long journey ended. Can't remember any other story in this genre which is so action-packed, hectic and covering so many places. You brought real heat to masterfully portrayed sex scenes. God you even wrote the end 3 years in advance. So you knew from the start exactly where you were taking it. That's great storytelling. The end was not my thing but I understand it's appeal.Regards and best wishes for your health.

Sabya 167, thank you for a thoughtful review.
The end was partly driven by my health issues and by my declining vision.
Writing and posting stories is difficult - but not impossible.
May have a couple more stories left in me.

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Play it again, Sam! I'd love to read more from your pen. But minus so much of gory crime scenes, if you will. More like forced seduction and giving in. Initial reluctance leading to lustful acceptance. Erotic jealousy, angst, subtle humiliation. Romance, falling in love, initial hate turned to love.
Husband's rival. Erotic mind-fucks, mind games. Etc.,etc.,etc.
You think you have it in you? If yes, then, Play it again, Sam. (See? I wrote the end 10 seconds in advance, just like you.)

Maybe more to come
Is Marcus really dead?

Don't fade away.

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Hate to see this story fade away. Thinking about adding a epilogue where Marcus didn't die

YOu want feedback? Here you go, started like a housefire, action packed andmoved along quickly. Had violence, money, beautiful people, a wife reluctantly being used by her husband's creditor. Then, maybe due to your health issues, you wrapped it up super quick and somewhat wierdly with the incestuous kids. I think you got tired and worn out at the end. Go to Literotica and read some Todd172, he writes in the same noir genre you did here, you might pick something up that will assist you.

Too true, my health was very bad. My eyesight was also very bad.
I've since had mý cataracts out but still don't see well due to damaged retinas. I will eventually go blind.
Want to get stories written before that happens.

As time permits I think I will change the ending. Never felt the original was quite right.

Well it seems time has run out for me.
It seems that I have kidney disease and it is escalating quite rapidly.
I didn't want my stories to fade away as quicky as I will so, forgive me for posting them to the top of the last one last time.
I may have a few more comments before I'm gone but if I all of a sudden stop posting you'll know what happened.

So sorry Sam, that’s terrible

SamWarrens wrote: ↑

Wed Oct 13, 2021 6:55 am

Well it seems time has run out for me.
It seems that I have kidney disease and it is escalating quite rapidly.
I didn't want my stories to fade away as quicky as I will so, forgive me for posting them to the top of the last one last time.
I may have a few more comments before I'm gone but if I all of a sudden stop posting you'll know what happened.

I am sorry to hear that Sam. I assume dialysis has been discussed and is not an option?

I don't know your personal relationship situation but if there is a wife, do you think she could update us?

I am so sorry to hear this Sam. I have really enjoyed your literary creations here and am thankful for you and that you shared your gift with us. All the best to you.

Sorry to hear. You'll be in our prayers.

Sorry, there is no spouse . anymore. Parted company over 15 years ago.

This is terrible news. You have all of my sympathy, I lost a kidney to cancer and was on a drug trial for three years. it was a horrible time, But I pulled through. So sorry you haven't had a similar lucky escape Sam.

So sorry, Sam. God bless.