A Cuckold's Diary Chap. 15 "A New Level of Marriage"

[Paul_Pines]

A NEW LEVEL: CUCKOLD MARRIAGE
October 2002

Is it possible for a marriage to last, and even to thrive, when the wife truly cuckolds her husband? In spite of all the dire warnings, our marriage has grown stronger and more intimate as Sally has grown closer to her lover, and our sex life is better than ever even though I no longer use my cock for anything but, as she puts it, "jerking off and peeing."

It didn't begin this way. It began with me asking her (well, actually, begging her) to have sex with another man. She finally agreed, with tremendous hesitation and a thousand misgivings. Her first partner was a great guy (Ted - we've posted stories of their dates together) who helped her to feel sexy and desirable, and who got us started in this the right way. We parted on good terms, and are still friends, and I am forever grateful to him for helping both of us discover how much we liked it when Sally was unfaithful to me. I'll never forget her raving about the huge head on his penis, and how it "popped" into her when they fucked, and I'll never forget the erotic combination of excitement and humiliation I felt when she talked about his longer, bigger penis and the "pop" I could see but never feel.

After Ted, Sally tried to "go black," and had two dates with an extremely well-hung, young black man. While he was very nice, he was both too big and too young; Sally didn't feel good after their dates, and so we gently said good-bye.

Then she found Ty. We first had lunch with this man over three and a half years ago, and from the moment we walked out of the restaurant I knew things had changed. When I asked her what she thought about the possibility of him being her lover she said, "I really like the idea. I want him." That was new.

I recently heard an interview with a man who said that it is the husband who usually gets the couple into swinging, and it is the wife who keeps them in it. He said that when women have their eyes opened to what is out there, and if they know that their husband is into it enough that it will not ruin their marriage, they let go in a way they never have before. It was as if he had interviewed my wife!

I've written a number of stories about Sally's dates with Ty, and I will not repeat the details here; I'm still looking for a good, free site to post them all in one place. But as I thought about their last date, and the change which has taken place in our marriage since then, I thought I would review our "progress." I cannot say I am proud of the arrangement we have worked out together, as it is tremendously embarrassing, but I must admit that I have never been so excited in my entire life. Judge for yourself.

The first change in our marriage came after their third date, when Sally admitted that Ty was SO much better in bed than I am that there was no comparison. Seeing the erection which resulted from telling me that, she began telling me while we made love. This produced contradictory results: on the one hand, it excited me to hear my wife tell me how much better he was, and on the other hand, it made it much harder to make love to her. There IS ego involved in lovemaking, and having my wife tell me how bad I was while I was trying my best made me either lose my erection or cum instantly. In either case, all she did was laugh.

The next change was one neither of us was expecting, and to this day it leaves me breathless. Sally cums through long, intense stimulation of her clit, either with an industrial-strength vibrator or with her hand. The vibrator she likes best is so big that no one can be inside her while she is using it; the vibe takes all the room where a man would be. When she uses her hand, it takes a long, long time, and neither I nor any of her lovers have been able to stay hard long enough to be inside her when she cums. That has never been a problem; it just means that her lover, whoever he may be, alternates between fucking her and helping her get off. I've gotten very skilled with that vibrator, and combined with sucking on her nipples (blindfolded, of course; see below) I can bring her to some intense orgasms. But I always knew she wondered what it would feel like to orgasm with a cock in her... until Ty helped her find out.

Somewhere about a year after they began their "dates," we hit a time when it was absolutely impossible to coordinate all our schedules. Having canceled three times, we were all frustrated. So when Ty suggested a date that I could not make, we decided to give it a try: she would go to his house without me. The result was that without an "audience," Ty stayed hard longer, Sally got excited more quickly, and she came with him inside her. For the first time in her life she orgasmed with a penis filling her body... and the penis wasn't mine. She came home so excited, so alive, so happy about what happened, that along with the humiliation I felt a strange, new sensation: it hurt. I realized that she had gone on a date with her lover, not with her lover and me, and the result was an experience she had never known before. I was cuckolded in an entirely new dimension, and the strength of our embrace that night only partly made up for the aching pit in my stomach. Sally constantly asked if I was all right, and made it clear again and again that while Ty is much better than I am in bed, I am still the man she wants to live with and love with forever. Then, when I relaxed, she'd "zing" me with a faraway look and a comment that she hoped they got to be together again soon!

Since that night, Sally has cum with Ty inside her on every date. I know from having my finger in her that her pussy squeezes and spasms when she cums, and I am terribly jealous of Ty, who feels my wife orgasm with his penis. It must be awesome, because he can never hold back from cumming when she does. I wish I could ever feel that, but I am not nearly good enough in bed - as Sally takes great pleasure in reminding me.

The next change came on March 28, 2001. That was the last time my wife undressed for me. Again, I have written about this in previous accounts, so feel free to check out the details if you are interested, but basically she said that undressing for him was exciting, and undressing for me was boring. She said she did not want me to see her naked anymore, and she has been true to her word. At first, I thought she was joking, or that it would only go on for only a short while, but I began to understand when she sent me out to buy a comfortable blindfold for myself, and when she actually got upset when I got a peek at her breast or her pubic hair. Since that day, the only times I have seen my wife naked have been when she and Ty allowed me to watch them make love, or the occasional glimpse when she did not close the dressing room door completely. And since there have been several times in the past year and a half when I was NOT invited to watch them, it is accurate to say that Ty has seen my wife nude more than I have. (I'm not even allowed to look at pictures of her naked.) But more important than who has seen her more is the fact that both of us only see her when she undresses for HIM. When she does, we both get excited; we both get erections; we both want her. But he gets her, and I get to sit in a chair and masturbate while they make love.

And yes, that was the next change: the day she told me that it was no longer "just fucking," but was now making love. It actually happened on the drive home from one of their dates, when I was fortunate enough to be allowed to drive her, though they left me in the living room while they went upstairs together. On the way home, Sally was relating what they had done, and she said that when they went upstairs he quickly stripped her and they started making love. My heart jumped in my chest, I pulled over to the side of the road, and I asked her to repeat what she had just said. She thought for a minute, then said, "I said we made love. It's not just sex anymore - now we make love." Right there, by the side of the highway, I pulled out my cock and made myself cum. As I came I said, "Oh, my love, it hurts so much to hear you say that," and as she saw me cum she purred, "I understand that it hurts, my love, but it's true."

And so it has gone until two months ago. Sally and I would cuddle every night, I'd make her cum using the vibrator, and once a week or so, after I had made her cum, she would allow me inside her, blindfolded. Each time she would either tell me how much she missed him, or else she would lie there, completely limp, doing nothing to participate, and telling me my lovemaking wasn't worth any effort on her part. And each time I would either get soft from the humiliation or cum way too quickly, to her amusement - and relief. Amazingly, out of bed our love has grown stronger, as we both realize that we are finding the fulfillment of our sexual fantasies - and our partner's - without lying or cheating. As Sally repeatedly said, "You're weird, but you're mine and I love you."

Were it not for the growing intensity of our love, neither of us would have been able to accept or even imagine what came next.

Sally and Ty were supposed to have a date on Tuesday, September 17. That's my day off, and the plan was once again for me to drive her to his house. She hadn't decided whether she would allow me to watch them make love or insist that I remain downstairs while he took her to his bedroom, but it didn't matter; traffic was terrible, and by the time she got home from work there was no possibility of seeing him that night. They spoke on the phone, and he invited her for Thursday evening, instead. After giving it only a moment's thought, she accepted, knowing full well that I would have to work. When she told me the news, she said she was actually turned on by the thought of seeing him alone again, without me tagging along. Who was I to argue?

I knew this date would be special. On their last date, a month earlier, Ty was the one who invited me to join them in the bedroom - not actually to join them, but to be in the room while they made love. It had been a long time since I had seen the two of them in bed together and I had forgotten how awesome it is to see my wife making love to another man - from the sexual excitement of watching them fuck to the psychological pain of seeing her give herself so freely, so completely, to him. All the way home that night, we took turns talking about our experience - how good it felt to her, how humiliating and exciting it felt to me. When we got home, I was surprised that Sally refused to let me inside her; she said she had had enough for the night, and besides, I wasn't going to do anything worthwhile for her, so I might as well go downstairs and jerk myself off. At first I thought she was joking, but she held her knees together and made it clear that she did not want me. As I left the room to go downstairs and masturbate, she saw the tent I was making in the front of my underwear, and she remarked that I seemed to be all right with the thought of not getting any. How could I deny it?

The next night, she "tried an experiment." After I made her cum with the vibrator (she said she thought about making love to him the whole time I was playing with her), she spent five minutes telling me how good he was, and then she dropped the bomb: she wanted to "skip" making love with me that night, too. I was surprised, disappointed and hard as a rock, and she saw it all. When I asked her how long it would be until I was allowed inside her, she said, "I think I'll wait until after Ty and I make love again. I'd really like to tell him I saved it for him."

I was speechless. I said it would probably be a month before she saw him again, and she said that was okay with her. Then she looked at me and asked, "Is it all right if I save myself for him?" And so I spent the next four weeks hearing those words in my head as I - as WE - waited for my wife's next date. And now, as the date approached, she told me she wanted to see him without me.

On Thursday, she came home early from work. She showered by herself, then allowed me to dress her (with my blindfold on, of course - you have no idea how difficult it is to put pantyhose on a woman when you're blindfolded!) Actually, her decision to wear pantyhose excited me tremendously, because it meant that when she undressed for him she would be completely naked; when she wears stockings, she usually leaves them on while they make love. Since he is not one to rip the crotch out of a pair of pantyhose, I knew that sometime that evening she would remove them, along with her panties, and would crawl into his bed wearing nothing at all.

With that thought, I kissed her good-bye and said I hoped she would have a good time.

I went to work, and between each appointment I ran into the bathroom and masturbated. I did not cum, both because she had forbidden it and because I needed that "edge" to be able to cope with the thought of what my wife was doing. I must have jerked off a dozen times that evening. At 7:15, my secretary interrupted my meeting to tell me that Sally had called to say she arrived safely; that was her signal that she was about to pull into Ty's driveway. I have no idea how my meeting went after that, because all I could think about was my wife with her lover. Did they go out to dinner? Were they sitting and talking in his living room? Had they gone immediately to bed, and were they making love right now? Apparently I didn't do anything obvious enough to get fired, but my mind was NOT on my work!

At 8 p.m. I had a few minutes' break, and I called in to my cell phone to see if there were any messages. Sally had promised to tell me when they "went upstairs," and my cell phone was the best place to leave a message for me alone. This is what I heard when I called in; I've played it at least 50 times, and I'll probably continue to do so every day until it deletes:

"Hi, it's... ('what time is it?' I hear her say. '7:30,' Ty answers)... it's 7:30-ish. We're upstairs. Talk to you later."

My wife, calling from her lover's bedroom, told me that it took all of 10 minutes for them to decide to make love instead of having dinner! And I, sitting in my office at 8:00, had to face one more meeting with the knowledge that she was naked, in his bed, making love to him at that very moment.

I apologized to my next appointment and said I needed a few minutes before we began. I used that time to run to the bathroom, pull down my pants and jerk off, knowing that HIS penis was being stroked by my wife's body... that he was inside her... inside my wife... and for that moment, she was his.

If only I had known how true that was!

I finished my meeting at 9:00 and spent five more minutes masturbating before going home. At home, I apologized to my kids for having to work on an extremely important project, and locked myself in my home office. There I did what I always do these days: I looked at pictures of naked women and tried to imagine my wife naked with her lover. I looked at pictures of couples kissing, and tried to imagine my wife kissing the other man in her life. I looked at pictures of couples fucking, and tried to imagine my wife, fucking and being fucked, for the first time in a month. I masturbated until I couldn't even touch myself without reaching the edge of cumming, then waited a few minutes and did it again. It was torture of the best kind: Sally and Ty were making love!

At 10:15 she called, sounding absolutely wonderful. She had just left his house and would be home in an hour. I asked her what had happened, and she said she'd give me the details when she got home, but basically they had made love, then spent an hour and a half lying in each other's arms and talking, then they made love again. She said he made her cum twice, which never, ever happens, and she said it was "so wonderful" that she couldn't wait to see him again. She told me to put the kids to bed and to wait for her, and she hung up.

When she got home, she looked like a teenager in her first infatuation. She talked about how excited she was for him, how he undressed her quickly, how he entered her in the "scissors position," which he has taught her to love. She told me he commented on how wet she was, and she answered, "That's what makes him so crazy." Ty asked her what she meant by that, and she told him - she TOLD HIM! - that she never, ever gets wet for me, only for him, and that I know it. She said he groaned, and pulled her closer to him.

Then he said, "God, you feel wonderful - you're so tight." And she answered, pulling him closer to her, "That's because I saved it for you. He hasn't been inside me since the last time I saw you." With that, he came in her, and I nearly cried with shame as she told me.

Whether it was Sally's sharing this information with him, or just his mood that night, after they made love they lay together and talked for over an hour. She said he shared experiences and feelings he never spoke of before, they talked about nothing and everything, and she loved it. She told me that she kept her hand on his penis the whole time, stroking it gently and occasionally moving down to kiss and suck it, and that he never, ever removed his hands from her breasts. It got to the point where neither of them could take it anymore, and so they made love again.

They ended with the promise to do it again soon, and Sally was convinced that even the notoriously unreliable Ty really meant it this time.

When she finished telling me the story, I said, "I can't believe that you told him I haven't had sex with you in a month." "I know," she grinned. "He really liked hearing that."

I paused, staring at her. "Do you want to ask me something?" she asked, coyly.

"You know what I want to ask," I said.

"I know, but I want to hear YOU say it."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm that was raging in my stomach. "Do you want to save it only for him?" I asked, with an overwhelming sense of shame, pain and massive excitement."

"Yes, I think I do," my wife responded.

"Until next time, or longer than that?"

"I think it will be longer than that. I don't know how long, but I think it will be a long time, if that's all right with you."

I could not speak, so I nodded yes.

"Thank you, my love. I really like that. Now go downstairs and jerk yourself off while I go to sleep and dream of my lover."

That's what I did, and what I have done every night since September 19th.

Sally did make me an offer, which I accepted gladly: she said she'd like to sleep in the nude, and have me cuddle her every night after I masturbate. I'm still not allowed to see her, but when I go downstairs she takes off her nightgown and gets under the covers, waiting for me to return and put my arms around her. We kiss, we hug, we cuddle... but we no longer make love. Only Ty does that with her, and she is waiting anxiously for their next date.

And so I am happy to report that, indeed, it is possible for a marriage to last, and even to thrive, when the wife truly cuckolds her husband.

To end, I share with you some of the thing she has said to me over the past month. I cannot tell you why they excite me, but they do - and they make me sure that I have married the most exciting woman in the world!

"I love your soul, even though I don't want your body inside me."

"I fantasize about him at work, on the commute, and when you're making me cum."

"I really miss him."

"You do realize that from now on, your penis is only for jerking off and peeing."

"I really want him and I really don't want you."

"My body doesn't lie: he turns me on, and you don't."

"Sex with you means nothing to me; it's boring."

"He makes me feel better than you ever, ever did."

"Oh, Paul, I can't wait to make love with him again."


Comments welcome; flames cheerfully ignored!

Sincerely,

Cuckold Paul

[yeahsure]

You are my hero

Really, I would be SO happy if my relationship where like yours

Anyways, I think everyday Im a little closer!

Cheers

[herhusband12]

Man, your stories are so painfully erotic. Can't wait for the next one.

[HerLittleGuy]

We still have 5 years of catching-up to do! I hope to see the next stories of the progression posted soon! Rivetting!!!

HLG

[Paul_Pines]

THANK YOU for the comments! No joke; it's good to see that a few hundred people read the Diary, but it sure helps when you take a minute to say you like what I wrote. Or even that you DON'T like what I wrote. At least I know that you noticed.

For everyone who doesn't write, please keep that in mind when someone writes something work jerking off to - hell, it's free, so why not drop a few electrons?

Sincerely,

Cuckold Paul

[cuckold_hubby]

Paul,

Great job on the stories. I personally think they are fantastic, and I'm glad you take the time to share them with us. It just another thing that makes this site so great.

[brady8107]

Great story hope that you keep it up, thank you for all your time and effort, I know I couldn't do it so once again thank you

cheers

[Dude Man]

Awesome, as usual!

[SeaGirtCuck]

Interesting story.

[Nedcuck]

Ya... oefff...

My wife used to do that too. When she wasn't in the mood, she'd "let me have a body" and just lay there on her back and not respond to whatever I did, however deep I tried to fuck her. Sometimes I felt incredibly frustrated when she does that because an inflatable doll would probably make more noise than she did. At the same time... it was exactly what I wanted, deep inside. Just fuck her and fill her up in a few strokes, and sleep.

We both got worse. She would more and more often passively undergo me having her, and I started to perform worse and worse. Eventually, she frankly told me that I wasn't doing it for her. Not just recently, she hadn't thought much of intercourse with me during the past 6 years with perhaps a few exceptions. From then onwards, we started to explore denial, which was something that I had experimented with previously with my girlfriend.