Our Hotwives

VikesWife wrote: ↑

Sat May 12, 2018 9:01 am

This is all new to me, my husband brought it up only a few months ago as a fantasy during sex. Finding out about the lifestyle led to this site, and to your guide. There's a lot to it, and you've broken it down in a way that will help me dig through it easily.

I don't see anything here though on how this changes your relationship. I love my husband, we have a wonderful relationship, and while it's really hot to think about and learn about this lifestyle, I'm scared that I might lose what I have with him now, it might change. (he knows this, and is on here too so will see the answers with me)

So when you and MrsTruckstar were first moving to the HW lifestyle, did you lose anything precious to you? Were there only gains? I'm aware there are other threads on this forum that deal with this type of question, or maybe other ones to ask it in, but I want to know if my fear that I'm going to grieve for how things were before is warranted, and if so, how to grieve for it while still being okay with losing it. This is exciting but still terrifying to think about for me. (first step was joining here so we are definitely looking into this) I just want to make sure we go over everything first, your guide is a perfect starting place, I just want your input on that too please.

XYAlpha wrote: ↑

Sat Jun 29, 2019 5:05 am

VikesWife wrote: ↑

Sat May 12, 2018 9:01 am

This is all new to me, my husband brought it up only a few months ago as a fantasy during sex. Finding out about the lifestyle led to this site, and to your guide. There's a lot to it, and you've broken it down in a way that will help me dig through it easily.

I don't see anything here though on how this changes your relationship. I love my husband, we have a wonderful relationship, and while it's really hot to think about and learn about this lifestyle, I'm scared that I might lose what I have with him now, it might change. (he knows this, and is on here too so will see the answers with me)

So when you and MrsTruckstar were first moving to the HW lifestyle, did you lose anything precious to you? Were there only gains? I'm aware there are other threads on this forum that deal with this type of question, or maybe other ones to ask it in, but I want to know if my fear that I'm going to grieve for how things were before is warranted, and if so, how to grieve for it while still being okay with losing it. This is exciting but still terrifying to think about for me. (first step was joining here so we are definitely looking into this) I just want to make sure we go over everything first, your guide is a perfect starting place, I just want your input on that too please.

VikesWife,

I hope you receive replies both good and bad!
The majority of the stories and advice here is based on what the poster has had sucess with. Not many people post their failures here or they just disappear from the forum altogether.
I have been married three times. The first two became HW scenarios (before I knew it was a "thing). The first two ended badly for all concerned.
Before people pile on with the suggestion that I - the husband - screwed it up I accept responsibility for half of the problem. Could be more or less - how do you derive a proportion of failure?

I have ideas of why things happened and maybe in hindsight how they could have been avoided.

Perhaps like many here, talking about failure is not as much fun as the hot steamy success of the LS. I guess even I am trying to find ways to share without ripping my guts out all over again! There was plenty of hot steamy times - don't get me wrong. It's a lot to deal with.

I hope others can share their real life bumps, crashes, and fails. Maybe I'll get there also to share more!

XY

Truckstar wrote: ↑

Sun Jul 14, 2013 10:48 am

Tip 4, when the fucking stops (first date her) Solo

So you have decided that your first date with a guy that fucks you will be solo or you have been in a group situation and you feel you want to do this solo.

1. Neutral Location if possible within 30 minutes of home - This allows you to leave. If budgets don't allow a hotel; then his place, again you can leave. If it is at your place and hubby is in the house it isn't the same as a real solo as you have that fact in your mind. Neutral locations give you the option to bolt if you have to.

2. Set a time frame and keep to it within reason. Tell hubby once you get to sex location it will be two (or however long) hours (give or take). This is easily managed with the Fuck Buddy. When you arrive at the location at say 10pm, a quick glance at your watch you say wow is that the time, I will have to leave at midnight, then kiss him, he will be cool and he will get into motion. Once the sex starts if it goes a little past Midnight don't worry finish that bout and then get up and go. Thank him for his attention but leave.

3. Do not stay for drinks and chit chat after, hubby can do all that. If FB finishes early, be polite but don't overstay. My wife goes within 5 minutes of fucking, which might be a bit to short. But have your fun, a little cuddling and then leave. it puts the relationship where it should be. If you want to leave, just grab your phone look at the screen and say, shit somethings come up, i gotta go. Then just rush about in a whirl and grab your stuff, talking the whole time, being pleasant and polite and go.

4. There is no problem with saying things like, I love my husband so much for letting me do this and how lovely hubby is, it reminds the FB of your relationship. Early days chat can include things like I would never leave my husband for a FB, if I hear the 'L' word I'm gone etc. They will be enjoying the uncomplicated pussy, and won't rock the boat.

5. Set your boundaries and limitations as per previous Tips, and stick to them

HWing is a non-monogamous activity of physical intimacy treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. It has a purely recreational perspective. You as a Hot Wife will indulge in intimate sex acts with someone other than your spouse/primary partner, with the full knowledge and consent of that person. A few days before you allow that cock in your pussy think about 'the afterwards', think about what you want from it and why you want to do it. Once that cock enters you, that very second your marriage/relationship has changed forever. You cannot unfuck somebody they stayed fucked for all time. You will be a HW to some and a cheat, slut, whore to others - so know in your own mind you want to do it.

What are the pitfalls?

Staying over snuggling up in bed to watch a DVD, that is what couples do, early days this gives the wrong signals to the FB.

Don't share arguments you've had with hubby with your FB, he is not your counsellor he is a life support system for extra martial HW sex. Family stuff is personal stuff.

Having your 'things' at the FB place is a relationship, bring it with you and leave with it. Let him buy you toys that you leave there if you wish, but if buys you something useful, take it with you, it is yours.

Staying the night and actually 'sleeping' is what couples do, (newbies, should not do this in the early days, think of hubby's heart). wouldn't you like to get back to hubby snuggle up and wake up with somebody who really loves you no matter what. Sleepovers can come later when you are a bit more aware of your own emotions. After the first time you are likely to have some guilt feelings, perfectly normal, so keep the first solo 'short, sharp and shit hot'. Tell the FB that you will call him not him call you.

Throughout the whole scene, you will get into it, a nice new man giving you attention, a different cock and different sex. But once the sex has stopped, remember there is another person that has experienced minutes that feel like hours whilst you have been in throes of orgasm. Call him as soon as you leave and if necessary speak to him all the way home.

This is not exhaustive and is designed to help you think through your first solo. Remember FB sex can also be crap and not what you expected, it can also be brilliant. Think through every scenario. One last thing, if you don't normally do anal. it is not a great idea to be doing it on your first solo, stick to what you know and remember he can only do thing to you that you consent to.

Have fun out there.

Mrs L 88 wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 14, 2021 6:40 am

Thank you for this thread. Husband has been very interested in this lifestyle and I have had a lot of reservations (although not disgusted or opposed to it, just not fully understanding what is involved). Your guide has helped a lot to understand the relationship dynamic and put some of those reservations at bay

Whosbeensleeping wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 14, 2021 7:08 pm

Mrs L 88 wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 14, 2021 6:40 am

Thank you for this thread. Husband has been very interested in this lifestyle and I have had a lot of reservations (although not disgusted or opposed to it, just not fully understanding what is involved). Your guide has helped a lot to understand the relationship dynamic and put some of those reservations at bay

If you didn't know, you can get verified as a woman here (VHW). That also gives you access to the ladies-only lounge where you can air your concerns. It would be wonderful to hear about your thoughts, if you wanted to start your own thread. In any event, welcome!

Mrs L 88 wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 14, 2021 11:27 pm

Whosbeensleeping wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 14, 2021 7:08 pm

Mrs L 88 wrote: ↑

Wed Apr 14, 2021 6:40 am

Thank you for this thread. Husband has been very interested in this lifestyle and I have had a lot of reservations (although not disgusted or opposed to it, just not fully understanding what is involved). Your guide has helped a lot to understand the relationship dynamic and put some of those reservations at bay

If you didn't know, you can get verified as a woman here (VHW). That also gives you access to the ladies-only lounge where you can air your concerns. It would be wonderful to hear about your thoughts, if you wanted to start your own thread. In any event, welcome!

Hi Whosbeensleeping, thanks I was aware of being verified as a hot wife. Just waiting for the approval and addition of PM's so that I can do this