Jersey Mike wrote:
My concerns are twofold -
Like most women, my wife openly admits she needs to feel "close" to someone in order to have sex. During our talks, she stated "wouldn't you be afraid of losing me?". On one hand, I appreciate her being completely honest with me in telling me this. Our overall communication, after 24 years of marriage, has never been better. We've been sharing stuff with each other, both good and bad, that the other one wasn't aware of. Should I forget this whole thing, because she admitted she's afraid of the risk of falling for somebody?
Secondly, we're both in our early 40's. It's no big secret men reach their sexual peak in their 20's, women in their 40's, give or take. My whole fantasy is that she has mind-blowing sex, and my biggest concern is that she has mind-blowing sex. I don't feel inadequate, but I would want to enhance our sex lives, not become second fiddle. Because of this, if she does find someone who blows her mind, I'm not sure how I'll feel about it.
Taking your first line, the Hot Wife Bombshell often is greeted by the man after the required soak period with - I can handle all the fucking, licking and sucking as long as my partner loves me the most, as long as she assures me that I am primary - dilemma…how do I the fuck do I do that?
You can’t; in fact, you may do tremendous damage to your relationship if you try, you can ask but feelings are feelings.
Women are honest as long as it suits culture. They give culturally correct statements
"I couldn't possibly have sex with somebody if there was no connection"
This is Poppycock, or in foreign language, BULLSHIT.
If this were true of women, then prostitution would fail, Celebrity Fucks and Rock star fucks would fail. Plain old one night stands would fail. There are very few average joanna's in the world on a steady income that would not fuck a good looking guy (a one off with protection for £20,000 - I know it is hypothetical but it is true.
The connection is there so they do not look like a slut. The game Kiss-Fuck-Marry that our wives have played when out with their Girlfriends would also be pretty lame. however you have to respect her 'Honesty' and roll with it.
Mike said It's no big secret men reach their sexual peak in their 20's, women in their 40's, give or take.
This is the biggest load of crap ever uttered and was invented by a 20 something guy, that fired his spunk in 2 minutes and said "Did you cum babe? ahh that is because you haven't reached your peak yet." He then farts rolls and sleeps.
The truth is testosterone peaks at 18 and estrogen peaks in a woman's mid-20s. So boys tend to be at their age of maximum boning right around 18, while girls don't hit the same peak until they're old enough to appreciate guys who can last longer.
But Actually ...According to Dr. Marc Goldstein of Cornell University, hormones don't decide when you hit your sexual apex. People aren't cola bottles that just reach a point of maximum pressure and then pop. Your "sexual peak" has more to do with your attitude toward sex and level of experience, which is one reason millions of awkward young men spend their entire sexual prime on a computer. Women who are more mature are more likely to be comfortable with their sexuality because they've had the opportunity to explore it. Women's sex drives are more vulnerable to social pressures, so the further they get from the drama and "slut shaming" of younger people, the more open they'll feel. Women who have been adults longer are more likely to know how to have sex safely and enjoyably. And they're far distanced enough from the bullshit drama of adolescent love lives to enjoy the experience.
You have to learn to blow her mind. It is good for her to have a second lover, she can try things out and do stuff that she would not normally do. You must not seat yourself on the bench but be her primary by being awesome.