Jersey Mike wrote:
I'm having a slightly different experience so far. Both wifey & I are both interested, but this is where it gets complicated. My wife seems to want this to happen naturally. She's opposed to setting up a profile on a website, against being with a "man-whore" who might have an STD, and not sure how comfortable she is going to a club. She seems interested in that, and other times turned off by the idea, because of the reasons listed above.
It's hard enough to find a suitable match. Without going any of the routes listed above, and friends & coworkers (many of them would LOVE to be with her) out, waiting for the "right guy" at "the right time" so it happens naturally feels like looking for a needle in a haystack.
I guess one of my questions would be -
Is it generally a bad idea to just give her an open hall pass, so she's comfortable in knowing that, if she's in a scenario where it feels right to her, to go for it and let me know before, during, or after? I think she'd be more comfortable that way, and we tested the waters a few times with her being out alone. I was fine with it. Turned on wondering "if" she was doing something.
I know it goes against the above post of planning, planning, and more planning, but we both seem more comfortable doing it this way. Are we playing with fire?
Disregard that last question Mr T. The Mrs doesn't like the hall pass idea.
So what we have is, she is interested in this and talks about trying it out, but...
- No profiles or online dating sites
- No guys that sleep around alot (STD's, turn-off for her)
- No friends or coworkers
- Not big on the swing club scenario
- No random guys
- Doesn't like the hall pass idea
To say this might be a complex situation might be an understatement.
Take a weeks vacation to Hedonism II or Temptations. I'm 100% serious.
1. They have a plethora of both single men and happily married men with permission to play to choose from.
2. You will be there for a week so it will give Mrs. JM the time to meet a man (men?) and develop
a rapport with them to see if she wants to take it any further. You will get to meet them too so you can have veto power if necessary.
3. You are on vacation together at a relatively small resort, so you can be very close IF something happens but don't have to literally witness it if the Mrs. is not ready for that (My wife did not like the idea of me being there at first either, but is softening on that.)
4. If you get there and you decide it was a mistake, you are still at an all-inclusive resort with a party atmosphere. It's impossible to not have a great time. These resorts can be as mild or as wild as you want them to be...there are no requirements to do anything.
1. It's not cheap...but it's worth it even if nothing happens...see # 4 above.
Literally, that is the only downside I can think of. It seems
like the ideal scenario for a couple like you who want to test the waters but have a list of stipulations with regard to the "water temperature."