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Unread postPosted: Fri Jul 12, 2013 7:25 pm 
2 Bit Whore
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My wife is away on a ten day holiday where she will have the freedom to fuck whoever she sees fit. I get a little anxiety of course I do, I don't get jealous and I wonder for her safety, because I love her.

I have decided after 28 years married and 25 of them (on or off) HW years, some have been me as a third party to other HW's; I might actually be in a position to give tips on how to have a successful HW relationship, there will be several tips, please remember they are tips as seen by me, not a formula or a set of commandments. Please use or ignore them.

Tip 1.
Lay it all on the line, don't fuck around with schemes and dressing it up. Say what you actually mean
If you’ve been curious getting your beautiful, gorgeous, faithful and loving wife to fuck another man, the first and most important thing to do is talk it over with her.

Sit down, which means not during orgasm, or whilst your fun sized Mars bar is between her holiest of lips, but sat down fully clothed in day light both sober and not tired at an appropriate time when both of you are calm and have plenty of time to chat. This is key because no woman can be prepared for the bombshell you are about to place literally right there in her beautiful lap.

Be sensitive bringing it up, but be clear and honest with your emotions and your feelings. Explain why this is something you’d like to try. If she agrees, do not jump up like you have just hit a home run, scored the winning try at rugby or holed a hole in one. Be cool and realise that she has agreed to consider it but doing it may actually be another massive step. As kids we played Snakes and ladders, at this point you have entered the game, there is a lot of slippery snakes to fall down, if you are unlucky and some ladders to climb if you are lucky. But as a young boy playing this game with a girl it is exactly the same as an adult, because if she loses interest she will leave the game and then the game is over for you both. So you are on square one and 99 ahead of you, you can take the next step. Do not attempt it unless she says she is ready. Hey guys do you want to play a game?

You know your wife and you know the very best way to tell her that it turns you on so much to think about her having sex with other men / people. You need to tell her that you masturbate when alone and that every time you do you think of her and another guy. Expect her to go off like a rocket when you do, this is where you have to convince her that, you love her and you cherish her and you are not doing this so you can fuck some hot totty on the side.

It must be something she wants to do freely because she wants to, not to make you happy, however there is no problem if an element of it is to make you happy, but if it is solely to make you happy it will fail.

Tip two will be 'Ground Rules'

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Unread postPosted: Fri Jul 12, 2013 8:25 pm 
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Sounds good, but for us I think the first time she ever brought it up we were having sex... I didnt last much longer. However, you are absolutely spot on about openly discussing it while you are both "sexually sober". I think doing that helped quell the initial pangs of jealous confusion.

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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 4:43 am 
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It might seem obvious but you need some ground rules for this, not hard and fast rules, and the seasoned couple will say, my only rule is she can fuck who she likes. Okay we get that, this is a guide for the wary, once again a start point. This should also be done out of bed with your clothes on at a time when you both want to talk about it.

I can remember a few years ago we were at a house part and Mrs T was laying on top of a guy her back to his front and his cock was up her arse, there was another guy in her pussy and she had a cock in her mouth, from a guy kneeling at the side of her. I walked over and stood above her and the guy with his cock in her mouth leaned over and started to suck my cock. I was shocked and amazed, I had done some Bi stuff before but not like this, I then her her voice as she plopped the cock out of her mouth "What do our rules say about this?"
I looked down, she smiled and blew me a kiss and carried on sucking her friend's cock. So some things can move with the scene but be cautious.
Tip 2 Set some ground rules.
The ground rules couples put in place for their HW relationships fluctuate significantly from HW to HW and from cuck to cuck and from couple to couple, but are all if set are of equal importance. Once you both decide that she is indeed going to allow another man to penetrate her most intimate of places and fuck her until she screams, you both will have your imagination and fantasy at full throttle.

Before you go any further with plans for Gangbangs, BBC, BWC, threesomes, foursomes and even moresomes think about this.

1. What are you going to do if it all goes wrong.
2. What do you do after the fucking stops, it is not hey big reclaim, there will be emotions, understanding, lows always follow highs. Discuss how you will manage the point immediately after the fucking.

Then sit down and make a list of boundaries and limitations that both of you are comfortable with. Write them down think of the Meat Loaf song, “I will do anything for love, but I won’t do that” and talk out all of the details before going forward. While it’s important to be compromising in all of this saying things like I couldn’t watch you take another man up the arse, is important. If she then says I can’t have that as a limit, for me it is all about double penetration or nothing, you have to discuss it until you are both sure you are ready. A HW relationship requires honesty from the start, don’t just go with the flow, research it, think it and talk about it, there is no need to bend-over backwards, unless that is you thing LOL, but compromise in sex is something I am sure you as a couple are used to, it should be no different as a triple, but fair compromise. Make your opinions known and don’t hold back any wishes or fears.

Here are some rules that Mrs Truckstar and I used many years ago, some have gone now but it is just an idea. You of course don’t have to follow any of these do what's right for you. Each relationship is unique and it’s important to find what works for YOU.
• Always condoms outside the relationship. (This matures with trust and testing)
• No sex with family, mutual friends or people that work with or for us.
• A sexy hook up must never take over something we have planned time together.
• Sex is allowed with another man only when both of us know about it, no phone call no sex and her location is known to him. Of course we have text and email now.
• MFM / MMFM/ etc is allowed only when both partners participate. This one got scrapped quite early on.
• Sex is permitted at home, but not in the master bedroom.

Don’t be afraid to speak up.
If you do make rules that don’t work for you and you feel unhappy, be sure to leave room for adjustment or abandonment. No one said the rules had to be set in stone and it may take time to find what works best for you. Be tolerant with each other and the experience will be wonderful, be vague and you will lose your way.

Next Tip early things and setting the scene

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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 9:36 am 
2 Bit Whore
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Tip3. Early things and setting the scene.
Set Boundaries and have limitations; If you feel she needs to tell every detail of your sexcapades but your HW partner would rather she kept that to herrself (or vice-versa), you need to discuss boundaries and limitations that make you both comfortable. Obviously there could be varying degrees of this, some guys are comfortable with every second of the sex but don’t like hearing about the dinner date beforehand. Ask for or know the sort of details you want hear but before the date starts, so she is aware what you will want to know. If she agrees to it, she must also honour it. But absolutely crucial before you even ask make sure you really want to know that stuff, don’t get her to recap shit, just because you have read it on here. Maybe you want to know who and when, but is it really necessary to know every detail? If you can handle it and it feels important to you then by all means, ask! Take it one step at a time. Also don’t get mad at her if she looks excited whilst recapping, be excited with her.

Start out slow and you’ve heard it before, take the babiest of baby steps, neither of you wants to hurt the other. Think about first bringing someone else into your bedroom before you both go out on your own, or have a couples/doubles massage where you both are naked. Either way, be sure to have a open and honest conversation about each occurrence before going cock and ball full on. If it feels right and you’re ready to move forward, you can now do so with more confidence. But if something went wrong, identify the root of the problem and work it out before moving on. Lots of swingers clubs have no problem with couples going for a look see and to see if they are happy being naked and aroused amongst others.

Once you have both decided to do this, do not write your own script, do only what you have both discussed. If she is out alone with her new found freedom and gets an opportunity she should stick within the boundaries and not cheat. Don’t ever cheat. Unless your limitations explicitly state that the husband wants to know nothing about who she fucks, remember that cheating is still cheating, even in a HW relationship. Holding back the details, even if it’s because one of you broke a rule and are worried you will hurt the other, could cause greater problems going forward. Your HW relationship will only work because you have trust and communication, and once that’s gone you have nothing.


Scene setting, make sure you both know when it is, who it is, whether it is (Hub)MFM(FB) or FM(FB) only or what is known as 'solo'. Make sure you know your expectations, what the preparation is, how long will it go on for, give or take 15 minute. Be prepared for it to end quickly if she changes her mind. It is handy to have a meet and greet first; to try to calm the nerves (it doesn't work), you will still be nervous the first time you know she is going to be fucked (and many times after that).

I had a young lady once burst into tears when the door closed and said that she was only doing it for him. I held her in a non sexual way, talked to her about her fears and called him on his mobile - he came over and we went through the differences and they left happy. Two months later and many emails, I did fuck her and it was because her mind was in a better place and she was ready. Don't rush things but do push the boundaries a little to get to the start.

Have fun

Next Tip, when the fucking stops (first date her) Solo

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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 10:19 am 
2 Bit Whore
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If there is anything anybody would like me to cover please ask

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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:24 pm 
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All good info. My experience probably is not the best way for couples to enter this.

We had discussed it prior also both in the heat of the moment and when we were in our right minds. Inevitably, we leaned toward me doing it for real when we were hot and less so when we were not. Although, he did always claim that it would be hot for me to stray. For a long time I didn't plan to do it for real. However, one day when he was out of town and a friend was seducing me, I cheated on him. I reasoned that he would be turned on, but the problem was that I wasn't ready for him to know. I really cheated that weekend. I slept with someone else in our home and in our bed and basically did it all weekend. I had several conflicting emotions. Of course it wasn't long and I cheated again. I wondered and hoped it was going to be okay with my husband. Then I thought I was pregnant, and I knew it wasn't my husband's. I started trying to feel out my husband to see if it was truly okay. I was pretty confident that we would get past it if not, so I began to be less careful about being caught. Of course I was soon caught. It was slightly tense and quite a shock at first, but then came the understanding. I promised to stop if he wanted me to. From the time I was caught (still in bed naked and a mess, but the sex was over) to the time we were having a loving discussion was less than two hours. The whole time I sensed that my husband was actually turned on. He just needed to get past the shock. My husband was then on me himself, and I knew I must be in the clear. It was interesting how curious my husband was and is about what the other guy did with me. I think it was extremely obvious that our friend had cum in me, but My husband insisted that I admit it.

Anyway, things are fine now, but this probably is not he way most people should go about this. It just sort of happened for us and worked out, but it might not for most. Now my husband allows me to date. He enjoys my "New found inner slut." I make sure that I save plenty of me for my husband, and it is working so far.


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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 3:29 pm 
2 Bit Whore
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Wife-with-Permission, Thanks for that a lot of HWing starts with a cheat, hell that is how we got in, but that comes with some heart ache but if you can survive that then you are in. You are right that it is better to get in informed.

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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 6:12 pm 
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Quote:
A HW relationship requires honesty from the start
We haven't been in the lifestyle near as long as you Trkstar, but I will say that without a doubt our HotWife relationship has brought us closer together, and enabled us to share things on a deeper more vulnerable level than I have ever experienced before with another human being. And the sex is A M A Z I N G.

I really like your 2nd tip, and that you clarified the rules will be different for everybody. But it's important couples are on the same page, and the very act of setting forth rules and guidelines requires lots of discussion - and that's the key - communicating your desires/concerns with each other. We had a lot of rules in the beginning too... many have... evolved.

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Unread postPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 6:27 pm 
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Ya... 1) Have you ever had to navigate a situation where she developed "love like" feelings for a FB?

I ask because we did, and it was a little dicey there for awhile. Eventually he moved so the situation kind of cleared up on its own. As time went by I could tell her feelings subsided, and we actually all got together again for a full fun filled week.

The way we're handling going forward is SHE is the one who monitors her emotions... if she senses she's becoming close to someone she calls it off. Up to now that hasn't happened again. However, if something does then I fully understand there is inherent risk in the lifestyle.

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Somewhere between wrong-doing and right-doing is a king size bed, I will meet you there --Rumi


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Unread postPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 4:12 am 
2 Bit Whore
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Truckstar wrote:
If there is anything anybody would like me to cover please ask
DianeNJack wrote:
Ya... 1) Have you ever had to navigate a situation where she developed "love like" feelings for a FB?

I ask because we did, and it was a little dicey there for awhile. Eventually he moved so the situation kind of cleared up on its own. As time went by I could tell her feelings subsided, and we actually all got together again for a full fun filled week.
We now know how to handle the love thing and if anybody ever says "I love you" To Mrs T, she repleis "I know" and tells me, then we end it. In the past we tried to manage it and it doesn't work. If she is gets the feelings brewing up, she has a long break from them and that softens the connection. If you search above on this site 'Author MrsTruckstar and Keyword Gavin' you will find what happened to her latest one.

The Tip in this situation is as for my previous numbered tips, be prepared, talk through the situations - My next numbered tip is a great bit of advice for the lady to not fall in love.

But here for this question, remember why you got into this. You both love each other, you wanted to spice up your life with the wife fucking another man. (not loving one). Treat the woman as the prize. Meet the FB together, Hubby should also engage in text and email, so the FB knows beyond any doubt that you are using him for sex, he will be cool with that.

It is great to have that control from the beginning. You are at a meet and greet having a cup of tea and the wife says to the potential FB, "I love my husband, I do not want to leave him or replace him, this is about sex not a relationship. Do you understand." They will nod or speak one word. But that is why they are here 'uncomplicated sex'

Either of you can follow with the next line, but in ours I usually do. "We decide the frequency of meetings, we decide when texting starts or stops. We don't mind if there has been no contact say in a fortnight and you text or mail a 'how are you' message, if you get no reply do not pester. The FB is for sex so please do not call that number unless one of us has asked you to. If you get no reply to your mail or text please presume it could be over and also please accept that you may not be the only guy she sees. Do you get that." Again they are normally cool with that.

It is lack of understanding or remembering why you got into this in the first place, that causes breakdowns.
1. Have sex, but don’t fall in love.
2. A HW relationship is not a free pass to fall in love with other people when you’re already committed in a relationship.
3. Don’t stay over in the early days, make a point of going home and waking up next to your spouse. It takes a lot to be able to use somebody for sex and wake up next to them
4. In MFM don’t let the FB stay over in the early days or all stay in the same bed, get up and sleep with spouses.
5. When the sex stops don't get cuddly with your Fuck buddy. Don't start whispering sweet nothings, do snuggle for a while but say things like 'That was fucking awesome or I needed that.' They are the sort of communications that let them know you were doing it recreationally.
6. The Truckstar's rule, have more than one FB at a time (She does this in the same bed). It means you have to manage a calendar and squeezing them in spreads the contact. For girls, it is nice to say to guys and they like it, straight after a fuck as you caress his cock, "I like using you for sex, do you like me using you for sex?" They will love it.

Falling in love with someone else because you’re sexually infatuated by them will only complicate things further. Always remember that it’s sex and nothing but sex. My wife will often fuck somebody and realise that there will be no more fucks so she gets up, showers and dresses, gives him a peck and leaves.

Dinner dates, dancing dates, pretending to be BF/GF dates. Doing stuff that couples do other than fucking lead to the emotions getting out of control. But because you have a firm relationship, a home, somebody is watching your kids, you are able to have all the fun bits of a sexual relationship without the hassle of managing bills, work, home life, kids and everything else. So meet talk, flirt fuck and go home to the person that loves you. If you start to feel different about the FB. Talk to your spouse FIRST. Hubbies when she talks about her changing feelings - LISTEN AND REACT Change something right away. but hold her and thank her for being honest with you.

If either asks for a break take it even if at first you don't understand why.

Have fun out there.

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Unread postPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 2:48 pm 
2 Bit Whore
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Tip 4, when the fucking stops (first date her) Solo

So you have decided that your first date with a guy that fucks you will be solo or you have been in a group situation and you feel you want to do this solo.

1. Neutral Location if possible within 30 minutes of home - This allows you to leave. If budgets don't allow a hotel; then his place, again you can leave. If it is at your place and hubby is in the house it isn't the same as a real solo as you have that fact in your mind. Neutral locations give you the option to bolt if you have to.

2. Set a time frame and keep to it within reason. Tell hubby once you get to sex location it will be two (or however long) hours (give or take). This is easily managed with the Fuck Buddy. When you arrive at the location at say 10pm, a quick glance at your watch you say wow is that the time, I will have to leave at midnight, then kiss him, he will be cool and he will get into motion. Once the sex starts if it goes a little past Midnight don't worry finish that bout and then get up and go. Thank him for his attention but leave.

3. Do not stay for drinks and chit chat after, hubby can do all that. If FB finishes early, be polite but don't overstay. My wife goes within 5 minutes of fucking, which might be a bit to short. But have your fun, a little cuddling and then leave. it puts the relationship where it should be. If you want to leave, just grab your phone look at the screen and say, shit somethings come up, i gotta go. Then just rush about in a whirl and grab your stuff, talking the whole time, being pleasant and polite and go.

4. There is no problem with saying things like, I love my husband so much for letting me do this and how lovely hubby is, it reminds the FB of your relationship. Early days chat can include things like I would never leave my husband for a FB, if I hear the 'L' word I'm gone etc. They will be enjoying the uncomplicated pussy, and won't rock the boat.

5. Set your boundaries and limitations as per previous Tips, and stick to them

HWing is a non-monogamous activity of physical intimacy treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. It has a purely recreational perspective. You as a Hot Wife will indulge in intimate sex acts with someone other than your spouse/primary partner, with the full knowledge and consent of that person. A few days before you allow that cock in your pussy think about 'the afterwards', think about what you want from it and why you want to do it. Once that cock enters you, that very second your marriage/relationship has changed forever. You cannot unfuck somebody they stayed fucked for all time. You will be a HW to some and a cheat, slut, whore to others - so know in your own mind you want to do it.

What are the pitfalls?

Staying over snuggling up in bed to watch a DVD, that is what couples do, early days this gives the wrong signals to the FB.

Don't share arguments you've had with hubby with your FB, he is not your counsellor he is a life support system for extra martial HW sex. Family stuff is personal stuff.

Having your 'things' at the FB place is a relationship, bring it with you and leave with it. Let him buy you toys that you leave there if you wish, but if buys you something useful, take it with you, it is yours.

Staying the night and actually 'sleeping' is what couples do, (newbies, should not do this in the early days, think of hubby's heart). wouldn't you like to get back to hubby snuggle up and wake up with somebody who really loves you no matter what. Sleepovers can come later when you are a bit more aware of your own emotions. After the first time you are likely to have some guilt feelings, perfectly normal, so keep the first solo 'short, sharp and shit hot'. Tell the FB that you will call him not him call you.

Throughout the whole scene, you will get into it, a nice new man giving you attention, a different cock and different sex. But once the sex has stopped, remember there is another person that has experienced minutes that feel like hours whilst you have been in throes of orgasm. Call him as soon as you leave and if necessary speak to him all the way home.

This is not exhaustive and is designed to help you think through your first solo. Remember FB sex can also be crap and not what you expected, it can also be brilliant. Think through every scenario. One last thing, if you don't normally do anal. it is not a great idea to be doing it on your first solo, stick to what you know and remember he can only do thing to you that you consent to.

Have fun out there.

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Unread postPosted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 3:29 pm 
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Good stuff truckstar. I have another question for you or anybody else who may have something to add: Several months ago we both met a young (late 20's) FB prospect over lunch. Now I am 50, in pretty good shape and many years of training in jujitsu and karate - something we don't advertise to FB's - and have a low key demeanor. My wife is a sexy pixie petite outgoing brunette. This young fella was extremely polite - so polite that I was wary, but otherwise there were no other red flags with the guy. My wife in fact liked how courteous he was. So later that week we all met at a hotel for some fun. He was nervous at first, but after a few drinks everybody loosened up and him and her started to kiss and play. He asked if they might have some time alone for a bit. My wife said sure, asked me if that was "ok", so I went downstairs. But then I got nervous and went right back (thinking in the back of my mind I hope he didn't latch the hotel room door from the inside). They had moved to the bedroom. Clothes came off, then he started to get a little rough, spanking her ass and getting forceful. She told him firmly to "stop" that he was hurting her (being so rough) and he did stop. I went into the bedroom to check on things... asked him if he minded if I took some pictures... he didn't. They started to make out some more, he was playing with her pussy, she was responding to that... then the little prick started to get physical with her again - she asked him to tone it down, explained that she didn't like to get rough. The idiot asked me to "help him out a little here!" (Like I was supposed to hold her down or something?) I told him she is a small lady and doesn't like to play rough. Now she likes a hard fuck, but a good hard fuck and getting rough are two different things. It seems the guy couldn't stay hard if he couldn't play rough... eventually he wilted and made an excuse about checking something or other and left.

After that unpleasant experience we took a short break from HotWifing. My wife has met some men on her own, but only off AFF when they have an established portfolio, or if she feels comfortable with knowing something about their work or other contact information. But ultimately in the end that only helps track an asshole down if there is a problem later - not keep somebody from hurting her in the moment if he turns out to a weirdo like the guy above. Lately with her extracurricular dalliances I am not always around. So has Ms. Truckstar had any similar experiences? What precautions do you guys take for her physical safety?

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Unread postPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 1:03 pm 
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Truckstar, I'm a husband attracted to the hot wife lifestyle. I want to thank both you and your wife for your courage in living out your desires, but, also, for sharing them and your wisdom about the lifestyle here. After reading this thread and comparing them to some of the "hot thoughts gone bad" I can envision where others might have avoided a lot of pain had they followed your suggestions.

I'm not clear that my interest will ever be used for anything other than showing more affection, attention, and support for my wife, and, primary concern for the maintenance of the marriage. However, from what I read in your posts, that's what hot wifing is about.

Thanks for keeping me straight.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 2:57 pm 
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great thread, thank you Mr. Truckstar.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 4:00 pm 
2 Bit Whore
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Tip 5, When the fucking begins (first date her) Solo. Again this guide should help if it is her first time ever or the first time she goes alone. Believe me, I have been doing this for a quarter of a century, it gets easier but it is always there in your mind.

Before she leaves, some guys like to help with the preparation rituals of shaving her pubes, washing her in the bath and even painting her nails, that is you and her and you will decide.

The very first time it is not a bad thing before the prep rituals start to just recap your ground rules and your expectations and what you will do when she leaves.

Don'ts For him
Don't bug her all night with endless texts of how it is going. She should agree to a minimum of texts 'I have arrived at meet point.' - 'We are going to the room.' This will signal to the hubby that sex is likely to commence. 'I am on my home/down/out' Any other texts are a bonus. She texts and you reply once only. An additional text would be required for a location change, restaurant to a theatre maybe.

Don't have the location so far from you that you can't help in a situation.

Don't have the location so close that she cant relax.

If you are waiting in a bar don't get smashed.

Don't sit in your car, Sitting in your car outside a venue is torture especially if she runs 30 minutes late. You also attract the local law enforcement.

Don't absolutely expect sex when she gets back as it may have been a disaster and she needs support, gauge her reaction.

Don't demand a play by play recap when she walks through the door, that may just spew from her, it may take a couple of days, but do ask her how she feels.

Do's For him
Do have something that you can do to take your mind off what is happening, but not with sharp tools or machines, you may be a little absent minded - Running is great - Punching bag is great - something with your own kids no matter what their age for your first time is tough because they will sense your mood. Sporting events are not bad if your team is winning. - But find a safe distraction.

Do make sure she has a selection of condoms.

Do stand up if she calls at the end of the date, it makes you sound better when you answer the phone, be happy for her and be prepared to talk to her all the way home if her driving was your plan.

Do tell her that you love her

Do have a bunch of flowers for her when she gets home and a great big hug.

Do praise her for doing this for 'us

Do make sure you are enjoying the experience. If you are not, is not for you. But do tell her that you tried it and you love her for that but you cannot cope with a solo just now.

Do bail out if you have a doubt but once that text has come through that sex has started or is imminent, it is too late, it is wrong to interrupt her mid shag. If you get that far let it run and then deal with it afterwards. If they are about to get jiggy and you call that will always be a splinter in your relationship the very big "what if" Splinters always turn nasty when left to fester.


It is very important that maybe the next day you both review what happened and what she got out of it, she will have some guilt and he will have some mixed feelings, the very best result comes from not having a repeat meeting for at least a week. The girls will probably want one sooner, but have a plan and stick to it. Fortune favours the brave. You as a couple are in control of this not her pussy. Think with your head not your hole. (A Mrs Truckstar saying).

The Review There is a requirement to review what happened within two days; 48 hours of the event. Sit down, clothed with time for each other. Be truthful and honest when you talk to each other about your feelings. Don't say shit that you think he/she wants to hear. If you felt jealous of your partner, or have any other uncomfortable feelings about the whole scene, address it now, especially if anything went outside your expectations, good and bad. If you don’t, they will only come out later and bite you hard on the arse, not in a good way.

There will be a ton of questions, I would be writing for one hundred years and not guess them all but here are some key questions you should ask yourselves as a couple
1. If you were to do it again what would you do different and why (honestly)?
2. Was it good/bad/excellent for you?
3. Do you want to do it again and why? I always advise this as a written answer that you maybe text to each other and then say ready 1,2,3, Text

For the other guy, it is customary good manners to politely thank the HW's husband for allowing you to carry out the scene.

Have fun out there

Tip 6 - What to do if something goes wrong.

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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 4:11 pm 
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Tip 6 - What to do if something goes wrong.

Make the best preparations to ensure nothing goes wrong....
If you are the single man or the couple make sure you have condoms if required.
One or two alcoholic drinks or a few but spaced well out, until you know your own performance limits.
HWing is about the wife, but like in our relationship I am also involved and am permitted solo sex adventures. Be sure you know the dynamic as an unbalanced sex life can cause a fight.

Things that go wrong. OM= Other Man Hub - Husband an HW we know.

HW.
Your protection is paramount, when things go wrong, is not the time to think of something. So have an action in place something you have thought through. Bearing in mind if you run from a room with all your clothes because you feel threatened, you mat well get arrested, but I doubt charges will ever be filed. So if in a neutral location when you disrobe do not throw everything to the winds when you are in the room, put all your stuff on one chair, the one you would pass when heading for the door.

1. If the guy goes against your limits, say you need the bathroom and just go , get dressed in the hall if you have to. If hub is there this is less likely but does happen. Same detail for obnoxious or abusive.

2. If he blocks your exit, scream as loud as you can and get your phone, all emergency numbers work no matter what country you are in 999/112/911 and on. You do not have speak just make the call.

3. The OM cannot get hard, give it some time, try your best tricks and then say, I gotta go and go. Don't pansy around, it will not get better.

4. His wife calls. Be quiet, pick up all your stuff go to the bathroom and shut the door, she will detect he has somebody there if he is not a well versed cheater. Give the guy a break. If it is longer than 10 mins MAXIMUM, flush the loo, wait 1 minute more, if he is still talking, get dressed and leave. You are a HW not a pay as you hooker.

If you got him from a website and he has lied or has been abusive, make sure you tell the website moderators, if it is a casual, go on swinger forums and warn others.

A very small %age go wrong for the HW, but a pre thought plan will always help, you may never need it. Good screening prevents this. If you get a bad vibes at the meet up before sex have a code with hub if he is there that ends it. My wife will stay sitting next to me if she doesn't 'feel the love' then she will side kick me under the table to signal she has had enough, then I end the meeting. (I get the best jobs). I just say, this is not working for me, and start to stand grab her hand and shake his and leave. Simple.

Girls if you are meeting up alone with a new FB, meet somewhere neutral that has some modicum of privacy but is easy to be public if required. Escaping to the var is often a safe mode. Call hub straight away.

Hub
1. You must be concerned for her safety, screen and do background checks if necessary. If you feel uneasy move on.

2. Do not push her to fuck somebody she doesn't want to fuck, this is a reipe for disaster as her heart won't be in it and has potenial for grief.

3. If it gets out of hand whilst you are in the room step across don't get violent, make sure she is ok and leave.

4. If he gets violent call emergency and then protect her just ring the number the mobile phone will do the rest scream and shout so the emergency operator is absolutely sure what is going down.

5. If he cannot get hard, give them some space, if you cannot get hard sit back and allow them to fuck, it is a big deal the first time you see this, it will get better.

OM
1. Does not act respectfully
DianeNJack wrote:
Good stuff truckstar. I have another question for you or anybody else ...she asked him to tone it down, explained that she didn't like to get rough. The idiot asked me to "help him out a little here!" (Like I was supposed to hold her down or something?) I told him she is a small lady and doesn't like to play rough. Now she likes a hard fuck, but a good hard fuck and getting rough are two different things?
In this case Hub was on hand to stop things. Make sure before you meet them, that they know your limits, no rough stuff, sensual, soft kisses and fucking. OM's obey their rules, if you want to get rough, look for those into D/s scenes.

2. Be courteous to the couple, move slowly and respect their boundaries. If they are new go slowly with her and tell her how good she looks and feels and make a big deal of her.

3. Do not be late, in fact be early. They will be sitting themselves and the best thing is for you to be there ready for them.

4. If the couple want some space give it to them, this will prevent a scene

This list is not exhaustive, I could write a book, but have an emergency action plan, just like a what to do afterwards plan thought out before you go for it, will make the chances of something going wrong less likely.

If it goes wrong the first time or there is a bump in the road, hey it is not the end of the world. Go up and look at the Tip with 'Review' in it. Make preparations to ensure that the problems are ironed out for your next adventure.

HW's on your own, make sure you are 'fucking' in a safe place, somebody knows where you are.

Have fun out there.

Tip 7. Choosing a FB - How easy can that be?

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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 4:13 pm 
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BTW, Thanks to all the viewers, I am astounded and thanks to all the commentators

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Unread postPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:45 pm 
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This is very good information for new couples. My wife and I appreciate your experience and wisdom greatly. Thank you.


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Unread postPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 4:17 am 
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Sorry I have lost touch with this, i am doing so much work these days, I only have a watching brief on this site.

Tip 7 Choosing a Fuckbuddy - How easy can that be?

If your wife chooses a stunning gorgeous man who is ripped and young, hung like a horse or twenty years older than her and hung like a goldfish, than so be it. It should be her choice.

You as the husband choosing FB's for her is you trying to live your fantasies through her and that is not always going to be fulfilling for her. It should be her choice and you should be pleased with that. There are some women that like to feel slutty and want you to choose for her and she fucks whoever you throw at her, and milder versions of this. It is very important that you discuss the kinds of people you want to meet and under what criteria you will meet them. For instance, you may only want to meet people from out of town who aren't/are married. You may choose not to fuck people at work or those that work for or with you, we have a rule "Don't screw the crew or the crew will screw you." These criteria may be included in your rules/guidelines/boundaries whatever you want to call them. Try to stick to them especially if you are already out there on the prowl. It’s not always so nice to get a call at 2:30 in the morning from your wife to tell you that she is no longer a wannabe and she has had her first three FB's that evening, it kind of takes the shared first experience away if you are hearing about it when it is done. You will have missed the build up, the waiting etc. Regardless, whoever this person is that your partner meets, leave your jealousy behind as that is a massive passion killer. When she leaves to go out, act naturally and give her a standard goodbye, she does you are proud of her, don't go on and on about it or she may get cold feet and pull out.

Know that they may just meet someone who fulfills a need that is really important to them, it maybe muscles, cock size, kinkiness and dare I say it colour of the skin and this may lead to an incredible sexual experience for them. Bottom line you chose this lifestyle you have got to run with her choices.

BTW, jealousy is one of the top reasons why HW marriages fail. Lack of planning is another and pushing your wife to fall in love is a disaster.

Have fun out there.

Next Tip - Tip 8 Knowing when enough is enough...... Stop means stop unless it is BDSM then stop means more and Orange means stop

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Unread postPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 7:03 pm 
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I think that is very interesting and extensive. I wonder how or if it would be different if written by a woman.


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Unread postPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 7:49 pm 
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Location: Austin, TX
Great thread. Can't wait for next installment.

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Unread postPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 3:57 pm 
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Tip 8 Knowing when to say that will do.
Our code of conduct for our open marriage included a waiver of stopping immediately when either spouse wants to stop.

One of which included falling in love with someone else. If a spouse falls in love with someone else, we believe it would destroy us as a team. Some open marriage participants and the extreme cucks believe that people involved in this practice have enough love for several people at one time and the poly's.

I’m not sure if I agree. Our goal is to spice up our marriage, and give freedom to each partner to experience other people emotionally and sexually while maintaining a full sense and respect for our bond, due to anatomy limitations the girl can cope with more than the guy. So she gets more, that is the way of the world.

Our relationship, comes first and this is not negotiable! This is what we both want. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee against a spouse falling in love with someone else for absolute sure. That’s like trying to ban rain in Manchester. That would be ludicrous and almost impossible. This is the major risk to those involved in open marriages.


Hopefully your trust and honesty are strong enough between you both that it wouldn't come to this. If the signs are pointing to the rubbish bin for one of those involved, hopefully that person is strong enough to intervene by themselves, and maybe even to stop it before it goes any further. Good communications will help you spot this in your spouse, you fell in love with them once, you know the signs. If you decide to end the open marriage by mutual decision, expect possible resentment from your partner especially if the practice has been going on for quite some time. The respect for stopping an open marriage starts now, in the beginning. Knowing without any real hard rules that enough is enough and I have gone to far.

When both of you are not getting out of it what you initially planned then you need to revise your situation. When one of you is getting nothing or less, in my view it has ended and if you can stop and salvage, then do it. Damage limitation.

Be good to each other

Tip 9 Next multi cultural swinging and the BBC fantasy.

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Unread postPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 2:10 am 
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Thank you

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Unread postPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 8:14 am 
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Wonderful information for wannabe's and even to remind the veterans in the lifestyle!!

This should be a sticky!

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Unread postPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:57 am 
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We are working on our rulz using these ones as example/guide....any other ideas/tips will be appreciate...we are getting closer


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