We were cleaning up our basement recently and I found a tape cassette I’d believed had been lost during one of our moves over the years.
When it first came out that my wife had taken a lover during a year we had to live apart as she finished school in another city, I pretty well freaked out for a few months (and Jenn was chewed up by her conscience for several years). It was a lot for me to process and our marriage hung in the balance. This is all detailed in the previous pages of this thread.
What makes the contents of this newly-found cassette interesting is that it was made maybe in the first week after my wife and I began actually talking frankly about her affair (no secrets/full disclosure). I recorded it secretly, though, and it’s about her first time making love to Marc. Now the interesting part is that it differs in some significant ways from what she actually wrote out for me (and which appears on the first page of this thread).
Some further background: Jenn began writing about her experiences because she found it less “distressing” than me “interviewing” her about what happened, something she found hard to do. Because she’d already told me about the first time and I recorded it (she didn’t know that, though), that first time wasn’t part of the written record originally. She only wrote down the account of her first time with Marc (at my request) a few years later (maybe 5 or 6?) so I would have a fully complete written account. However, time and tide had clouded her memory resulting in changes to what actually happened. Since I had that first confession on tape, I knew that details had changed, but didn’t say much because I knew she’d be pissed that I’d recorded it secretly in the first place (although I eventually owned up). Then the cassette disappeared until recently.
We both listened to it last week (Jenn for the first time) and her feeling is that this account is more accurate than her later written account, and is much more accurate in describing the way she was feeling — and interestingly — in the way Marc behaved. In other words, he comes off better and more gentlemanly. He wanted her, made his intentions clearly known, but left the decision completely up to her.
It’s also a hell of a lot more visceral. When she was recorded, I’d told Jenn I wanted the unvarnished truth, that she owed it to me after what she’d done. So being the (usually) forthright person she is — and after getting assurances from me that I wouldn’t hold anything she said against her — she let it all hang out. By the way, questions in italics are ones I asked while she was telling me the story.
I decided I wanted to share the “real” story with everyone here so the complete and actual picture of how this affair started and my wife’s state of mind is known to anyone who has read (and commented on) this thread. Jennifer read the following transcription of the tape (I cut out a few unnecessary side comments and identifiers — with names changed to protect the guilty!) and gave it her thumbs-up to post. “If anyone is interested after all this time.”
About Jennifer and Marc’s first time making love:
"Marc invited me out to dinner on a Saturday evening in late September or early October. I forget which, but it was near the start of the school year. We’d already seen each other a couple of times since I’d returned to Montreal. The plan that night was to meet at his apartment. When I got there, he invited me in for a few minutes. White wine was poured and we talked a bit (in French), trying to decide where we’d eat, how our weeks had been, idle chit chat.
“Then, out of nowhere, Marc leaned over and kissed me. It was very much like that first time in his car during the summer, really a total surprise.
I was on his left and his arm was behind me on the back of the sofa. He just turned and his lips were on mine. The passion was clear, same as the first time, but his kiss wasn't over the top. It lasted maybe 5 or 6 seconds. Then he pulled away and silently looked at me, making it clear the decision to continue was mine.
"I had fantasized about this happening again ever since the summer, but it had just been that until now: a fantasy. The guys in Marc’s quartet had assumed we were already lovers, Marc and I were together so much (and he hadn’t discouraged their suspicions, either, with a few leading comments to them in my presence), so it's not as if I was shocked he’d kissed me again – or that his kiss was unwelcome. But it was crystal clear where this would lead if we continued. During the summer, one of the things that had caused me to hold back was the lack of privacy. That was no longer an issue.
“Almost without consciously reaching a decision, I pulled his head to mine, kissing him this time. It quickly got very heated.
“First, I was having trouble processing things. I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. Second was how erotic and enjoyable these kisses were. Since we’d met I’d been wondering about what it would feel like to be with a different lover. That’s one of the things that made me return his kiss that evening: curiosity.
“I also knew that by kissing him back, I would have to take this to completion. I wasn’t a virgin, some high school girl who would lead Marc on and then call a halt. I realized I’d wanted to do this for a long time, certainly going back to the summer. Now it was going to happen. That really inflamed my desire.”
“Had you masturbated thinking about something like this, you know, before that night?”
“Yes. I did.”
“So this should have been no surprise.”
“I guess I’d been hoping it would happen. And I knew I didn’t want to stop.
“Marc’s kisses were different – have I mentioned that he was a very good kisser? – but what would his touches feel like? What would it feel like having him inside me?
“Pretty soon his hand slipped down onto my shoulder and he pulled me closer. We were rubbing each other’s chests. It felt natural – and good. Marc was rubbing the top of my chest and the space between my breasts, not taking things fast. When I didn’t object his hand drifted lightly across my left breast, not doing anything more than a tease at first. Again he was gauging my reaction. My kisses must have told him I wasn’t having any problems, so he slid his hand onto my breast again and began playing with my very hard nipple.
“When he began doing that, I couldn’t stop the moan that slipped out. Marc then helped me pull the two straps of my leotard over my arms after which he slid it down until both my breasts were exposed. As he bent over to take first one nipple and then the other into his mouth, I touched his crotch for the first time. He was already hard and felt pretty large – and that excited me.
“Before long – as he continued sucking on my nipples – he slipped one hand through the slit in my brown, India-print wraparound skirt [I remember it well.] and began stroking my thighs. I opened my legs wider to allow him better access. My leotard had snaps between the legs and they got opened soon after. Marc’s exploring fingers pushed my panties to the side.
“I was already very wet and his fingers felt so good as he explored my most private place, slipping one and then two fingers inside me and teasing between my lips. He had to be aware I was aching for an orgasm. (Maybe I even said something, I don’t remember.) He quickly and expertly gave me what I needed. I’ve seldom orgasmed more violently. I don’t remember crying out, but Marc teased me later about hoping the neighbours wouldn’t complain. While I came down from that high, he continued gently kissing me.
“As soon as I’d caught my breath, I got up and removed my clothes, then laid sideways on his sofa with my right leg up over the back and my left foot on the floor, everything on display.”
“That was pretty brazen.”
“I really wanted him by that point. I was completely ready. My thoughts were in an uproar, though. We were going to make love. It would be an irrevocable step. At the same time, I was consumed by wanting to know how having Marc’s cock inside would actually feel. His would be only the second “real cock” I’d experience.
“As I watched him remove his clothes, I was apprehensive. When Marc’s cock appeared it very hard and stood straight out. He was clearly longer than you and the shaft was fatter. The head was really large and a darker, more purple colour. I thought his cock was beautiful, very masculine and powerful.”
“Was he circumcised?”
“He got settled between my legs and we kissed a few more times, lovely, hot ones. No words were spoken. I could feel his cock resting against my vulva. Finally Marc reached down, got the head of his cock moist with my juices, and gently pushed forward until the head popped in.
“It felt really big. We kissed some more before he eased forward a bit again. Over the next minute or so he worked more and more of his length in, but slowly and gently. He was up on his hands, holding his body above mine so he could watch my reaction because he wanted to be sure I was okay with what we were doing and how it was feeling.”
“He was having trouble getting his cock into you?”
“Sort of. I was certainly very wet, so that wasn’t the problem. Marc was always a considerate lover. The first few times we made love, he entered me slowly to make sure it never hurt as I stretched open around his girth and length. Later on, though, when I’d gotten used to his size, this wasn’t an issue.
“It felt absolutely amazing. The size of the head and the thickness of his shaft, those things stick out in my memory.
“So having him inside you felt really different.”
“Yes. More full, plus because of his length, he could go in deeper. I was on fire with lust.
“When he finally got the last of it in, he smiled down at me. 'I've wanted to do this since the first time we met. I can't believe it's actually happening.'
"We shared several hungry kisses before he began thrusting his entire length in and out, slowly and gently, again gauging my reaction. When I told him how good it was feeling, he began to move quicker and more aggressively. I guess my moans told him he didn't need to worry about what he...we were doing.
"Marc told me several times that he couldn't believe we were finally doing this and how good it felt. I told him the same.
"I put my hands above me so I could push against the arm of the sofa to resist his thrusts. He groaned at that and thrust even harder. That first time Marc came more quickly than I became used to from him. My strongest memory of the physical experience was how amazing it felt when he got close, his cock swelling and getting even harder. The head of his cock felt enormous as it slid in an out. That turned me on very much.
"We didn't discuss whether he should finish inside me or not. I guess he thought if it wasn't okay, I would have told him he needed a condom. I was glad he didn’t. I loved feeling him swell, get even harder, and then with a long groan, Marc came inside me for the first time. I loved having him finish inside me. It surprised me how erotic that felt.
“My overwhelming memory of the first time we made love, though, is that I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this.
"Afterwards, we exchanged a few tender kisses and then he got off me so I could clean up in the bathroom.
“When I returned he was sitting on the couch, still naked. I sat next to him and we drank a little wine and he told me how much he’d enjoyed what we’d just done. I told him I felt the same. He asked me if I was okay.
“I remember saying something like, ‘I’m more than okay. That was wonderful.’
“His cock had begun to grow again, especially after that comment, so I reached out for it, and said something like, ‘Looks like you haven’t had enough yet.’ We started kissing and touching and this time our touches were intimate right away.
“Eventually I was ready again for him, so I turned sideways, but this time I was more upright (leaning against the arm of the sofa). I pulled my legs back as Marc knelt between them. I reached down and lined it up. He pushed forward slowly again.
“Even though we’d already made love, it was still a pretty tight fit, but as I took more and more of him in, I was able to concentrate more on what it felt like. It was very, very good. His thickness was amazing and I adored the way I could really feel the head of his cock. He was going in even deeper than before. Once his cock was all the way inside me, I sighed. ‘You feel so good in me, Marc. I wish now I didn’t make us wait so long for this to happen."
“How long would you say his cock was?”
“Maybe an inch and a half longer than you [so 8+ inches], but he was noticeably thicker and the head of his cock was really large. The second time, with the static in my brain all gone, I really paid attention to those details.”
“So you really liked his cock.”
“Yes. Very much. After that first night, I was completely hooked on it.
“And that’s why you enjoyed making love to him?”
“That was certainly a big part of it.”
“The surprising thing was I didn’t feel remorse about what I was doing. Later I felt guilty about it, but there was never remorse. Actually, I was proud I’d done it.”
“Was part of it that this man you admired had pursued you so hard?”
“Yes. There was that. I’d known since the summer what was on his mind. He wanted me. He wanted me very badly. I’d kept my feelings tamped down, but I realized that night I’d wanted it to happen for a long time.”
“You were a young and beautiful woman. Who wouldn’t want you?”
“Well, regardless of that, there was something about the situation that was a huge turn-on. I loved making Marc excited. I adored having him take his pleasure in me.”
“How long did things last when you did it the second time?”
“We went slower, savouring what everything felt like. We also talked to each other more, commenting on what we were feeling. He kept telling me how beautiful I was making love to him and how he couldn’t resist the temptation of my charms. That made me feel really good. Marc told me often how beautiful I was.
“I loved how deep, how forceful our lovemaking was that second time. Marc kept thrusting into me harder and harder. I was pushing back as hard as I could. The sound of our bodies slapping together sticks in my mind. In this position, I could feel every inch of his cock. The best part was when he got close, I could really feel the head of his cock swelling. That was truly amazing.
“Marc lasted a long time before he came. (I came pretty close to having an orgasm, but couldn't quite make it. That would come later.) One thing, Marc could cum a lot and this time I noticed every pulse of his cock inside me. The first time I only remember him swelling. Too much going on in my head I guess.
“One other thing just occurred to me, when we started up the second time, I was wondering how many times we’d make love that night. Funny thing to think…”
“How many times did you do it?”
“Just twice. Marc asked me to stay, of course, in which case we probably would have done it again during the night – and probably in the morning – but I felt I should get back to my apartment. That’s one thing I was always strict about: having my own space. I knew how dangerous it would be if I allowed myself to get too close to him.
“So Marc drove me home. Not much was said during the trip, but I did have my hand on his since his car had a stick shift. When we got to my place, he asked, ‘Is everything okay?’ I assured him it was.
“I was exhausted by everything that happened that evening, Thankfully, I fell asleep quickly and my rest was actually quite good. That surprised me the next morning. My first thought was, I can’t believe I did that. My second thought was, I want to do it again!”
(She then became very upset because of her last comment, realizing it made her sound like a really terrible wife. I told Jennifer I loved her honesty. It was already pretty obvious to me that the sex they enjoyed had been really, really good. If I didn't want to hear some possibly upsetting things, I should never have asked in the first place. It certainly took me awhile to process all this, though!)
_________________It's true what they say about redheads…The recounting of my wife's university affair: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088And what has happened more recently: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613