Between Jennifer and Marc

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nonethewiser

Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by nonethewiser » Fri Nov 14, 2014 9:59 am

xleglover wrote:Rob
Sorry I cannot get this last chapter out of my head
If Jenn left you to go to Marc but then later realized her mistake, do you think you could've worked it out?
I am very interested to see the answer to that too. My own instinct is that they got really lucky. If she had left him then, he would have felt betrayed in every way and I can't see how they would make it. Hell, even if she had told Rob right away, and chosen to stay with him, he wouldn't have had the year after the affair ended to validate that there was something worth saving. I think the way it happened was perhaps the only way a man with self respect could overcome a lengthy love affair replete with lies and cover-up.

Can't wait to hear Rob's view.

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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Righteous » Fri Nov 14, 2014 10:19 am

nonethewiser wrote:
Mrfixitforyou wrote: Interesting observation that she may have rejected marc and not really had chosen her husband. So in your mind did the love re-kindle? or did she settle for the safe relationship. I think that once confronted with the truth, faced with the possible consequences, knowing how much she would hurt her husband all helped her make the decision she chose. Big among those consequences the age difference and the possibility of being passed around like meat without emotional involvement at a time in her life when she would need love, sex, commitment.

My take: at that stage in her life, she was very selfish. Maybe not completely consciously( though certainly she was cognizant of it). So she made decisions for her self interest, not for others. The fear of ostracization was about her, not Rob; the concern about Marc's age was about her, not Rob; the possibility of getting dumped was about her, not Rob. Now, she may have rationalized that she couldn't hurt Rob, but that's just a rationalization. She could have and would have hurt him if it had suited her. It didn't. Did some of the catalysts that were mentioned (the party, the teacher, distance from Marc) help her realize what was potentially bad for her? Sure. But it was -as I read it- still a very selfish woman.

But, and I mean this completely, things sometime happen for strange -even bad- reasons that work out well. She did stay with Rob, she did learn to appreciate him and how he made her better, she did learn from her mistake (and not just sexually). Steve Jobs said in his commencement address at Stanford that " you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. ". So, for Jenn and Rob, the dots do connect looking back. But it couldn't have been known at the time. I agree with XLE: they were lucky.
One reason I didn't want my husband to post the end of the story was because I am still incredibly ashamed of my behaviour. You're absolutely right: I was being unforgivably selfish. I could come up with all kinds of justifications and rationalizations of why I did what I did, but they would just be skirting the issue.

The funny thing is, I've never been a particularly selfish person — other than during that one year. I was the younger sister, the one who always pitched in and helped, the one who could be counted on, and then Marc came along and I completely did a 180. When I first got back from Montreal, it was still about me, but I think that was the poison working out of my system. I had these two diametrically opposed people inside my head and I had to figure out how they could come together as one (sort of) rational person. Marc had made me forget how good I was with my husband and how good he was with me. I was addicted. I was not rational. The party and my teacher's words made me take a breath and start thinking with my brain again rather than my sex organs. As I came back down to earth, I was shocked to realize how far to the stupid side of the spectrum I'd gone. I thank my lucky stars every single day that I woke up in time.

Jenn

And I'd like to add in her defense that my incredible wife beat herself up horribly for years over what she'd done. To her mind, the greatest sex in the world can never make up for what she'd done and how she went about it. I wound up spending a lot of my time comforting her -- which is pretty funny to us now. Allow me to say that other than that one period, Jennifer is a loving, caring, generous, sensitive, funny and wonderful person. She has never once let me down since and has gone incredibly out of her way to make it up to me. You can learn and change.

We were (and are) very lucky. We never go to sleep without saying how much we love each other -- because we mean it.

Rob
It's true what they say about redheads…
The recounting of my wife's university affair: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088
And what has happened more recently: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613

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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Righteous » Fri Nov 14, 2014 10:30 am

nonethewiser wrote:
xleglover wrote:Rob
Sorry I cannot get this last chapter out of my head
If Jenn left you to go to Marc but then later realized her mistake, do you think you could've worked it out?
I am very interested to see the answer to that too. My own instinct is that they got really lucky. If she had left him then, he would have felt betrayed in every way and I can't see how they would make it. Hell, even if she had told Rob right away, and chosen to stay with him, he wouldn't have had the year after the affair ended to validate that there was something worth saving. I think the way it happened was perhaps the only way a man with self respect could overcome a lengthy love affair replete with lies and cover-up.

Can't wait to hear Rob's view.
I tend to think fatalistically sometimes, and my gut response would be no, that would have been the end. When it was finally revealed what had happened, nearly 4 months had elapsed. During that time, I could see how much Jennifer was bending over backwards to be a good wife and companion. It I hadn't seen how she was trying to atone, I think my response would have been very different. That would have been the end of us. I would have hurt for a long time, but I would have moved on. I, too, might well have been tempted to stray during that year apart, but I was too damn busy to do much more than my job and sleeping. Certainly there were women at work who flashed signals to me. If I hadn't been so overwhelmed, I might have done something I would have regretted. So I lived with this amazing woman for a third of a year not knowing what she was holding in her head and heart. It was obvious she felt terrible about everything and she worked amazingly hard to make amends for something she hoped I would never even know about.

Regardless, thank the lord we never had to answer that question.
It's true what they say about redheads…
The recounting of my wife's university affair: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088
And what has happened more recently: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613

nonethewiser

Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by nonethewiser » Fri Nov 14, 2014 11:59 am

Timing?

When this story first started I thought Rob said it was a year after Jenn was back that he learned the truth. I just checked back and that is what he wrote.

But Rob just wrote it was four months. Did you remember it wrong before you started getting into retelling it?

Interested in the psychology that gets you to misremember that.

Once again, amazing tale and I think you guys are very fortunate in how things worked out and I am happy for you.

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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Righteous » Fri Nov 14, 2014 12:15 pm

nonethewiser wrote:Timing?

When this story first started I thought Rob said it was a year after Jenn was back that he learned the truth. I just checked back and that is what he wrote.

But Rob just wrote it was four months. Did you remember it wrong before you started getting into retelling it?

Interested in the psychology that gets you to misremember that.

Once again, amazing tale and I think you guys are very fortunate in how things worked out and I am happy for you.
It was indeed only four months. My memory (after now 22 years) was that we'd had the party the Labour Day following her return from Montreal. Jennifer, carrying the weight of a secret that large, informed me when she looked back at the post that it was only four months, and I think in this case she would have the better memory than I do on this. Actually, her real answer was a huge eye roll and a "How can you not remember something that important?"

Hell, I can't even remember what she gave me for my birthday 5 months ago!
It's true what they say about redheads…
The recounting of my wife's university affair: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088
And what has happened more recently: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613

lannontom

Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by lannontom » Fri Nov 14, 2014 12:38 pm

I love this story and will comment later, but I love reading about Jennifer. She makes me hate her and love her at the same time. When I'm done reading I just find myself incredibly sad. I've said this before but there is nothing more tragic than a good person who does wrong, the inner demons of truly good people are awful, awful things.

Rob, it does sound like something that she will take to the grave with her. It's decades later and she still avoids social media and Quebec. She has chosen to bear an incredible cross for you and while it may not make up for her betrayal, it's incredibly sweet. I'm very glad that you guys are happy.

Who would have thought that I'd find an incredible love story here. Most of these threads I leave shaking my head over how dumb people can be, this is a story to contrast the awful self-deception that people practice.

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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Righteous » Fri Nov 14, 2014 1:34 pm

lannontom wrote:I love this story and will comment later, but I love reading about Jennifer. She makes me hate her and love her at the same time. When I'm done reading I just find myself incredibly sad. I've said this before but there is nothing more tragic than a good person who does wrong, the inner demons of truly good people are awful, awful things.

Rob, it does sound like something that she will take to the grave with her. It's decades later and she still avoids social media and Quebec. She has chosen to bear an incredible cross for you and while it may not make up for her betrayal, it's incredibly sweet. I'm very glad that you guys are happy.

Who would have thought that I'd find an incredible love story here. Most of these threads I leave shaking my head over how dumb people can be, this is a story to contrast the awful self-deception that people practice.
If were to step back and separate my emotions from what she wrote about (and we lived through), I would be left of a good person stumbling into a bad situation and not having the inner strength to get out of it. She felt horrible about what she was doing to our relationship, but she was so blown away by the sex, she just couldn't stop herself. Same thing with someone who just can't put down the bottle, or from buying another quart of ice cream to eat, or going out and once again looking for drugs. She fully acknowledges that she was like that. You can't really hate someone in that position. You can pity them, they can infuriate you, but their inner demons are two strong for them to be able to break away. My best friend in life drank himself to death. He was truly miserable to be around at the end, but I could never hate him. My wife is a lovely, lovely person (everyone says so, not just me). What she did was completely out of character for her, but in a way, she needed it. If I can be crass, she needed a good fucking to free her from the shackles of her upbringing -- and it went a lot farther than just the sex thing. In order to fulfill her potential musically and personally, she needed to break away from her parents and upbringing. She did -- but went way too far and then found it nearly impossible to come back.

I was a little to generous about the social media comment. Jenn avoids it for a lot more than Marc. She doesn't watch the news much either or read the paper. She gets truly depressed by how cruel people are to one another -- probably because she understands that so well. As for Quebec, well what you say is quite true. She doesn't beat herself up anymore about what she did with Marc. What she will take to her grave is that in order to accomplish something (in this case breaking away from him) and can't manage it, you simply haven't tried hard enough. That's what she says to her students and her children. I've taken that to heart as well. And truth be told, she has more than made up to me for her betrayal. We are both glad it happened -- seriously. Our lives together would have been so much more monochromatic without Marc. You can have a good relationship and marriage without good sex, but with good sex, you can have an incredible marriage. Without Marc and what she did with herself and him, our sex life would still be poor, she'd still be hiding her thoughts and emotions, and I'd still be pulling my punches. Both of us would be incredibly frustrated, and I'm sure it would have burst out in other ways.

I have no doubt Jennifer would take a bullet for me. That is just her way. Years ago I got injured in a hockey game by a dirty hit (broken collar bone and knocked silly). It was a house league for pity's sake and this guy thought he was in the NHL or something. He was thrown out of the game. As he came off the ice, Jenn walked up to him and asked what the hell he thought he was doing. When he mouthed off to her, she punched him right in the face. I mean she frigging clocked him! She couldn't play violin for nearly 6 weeks, but every time someone mentioned it, she'd break out into this huge smile. That's the kind of woman I married and I'm so glad we made it through her mess. We both learned a lot about ourselves.

I'm beginning to repeat myself…

Thanks for your very kind words. People can be dumb, but they can change -- or wake up in time, as the case may be!

Rob
It's true what they say about redheads…
The recounting of my wife's university affair: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088
And what has happened more recently: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613

xleglover
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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by xleglover » Fri Nov 14, 2014 5:45 pm

Marc did try to get in touch with me several times over the years, and I never answered. That’s why I’m not on social media and why I never take any jobs in Montreal — or even in Quebec. It’s not that I might succumb to temptation. I just don’t want to see him.
Just wondering if Jenn was at all tempted when Marc contacted her (at least at the beginning). Especially since for a few months after she was still masturbating to her memories of Marc.

Did Jenn tell Rob when Marc tried to contact her?

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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Stargeezer » Fri Nov 14, 2014 11:32 pm

"
We came right to the brink
"

Thanks to both of you for telling us your story. I do believe that luck set the table for the two of you to continue, but along with that luck it took your commitment to keep going and build on what you had almost lost.

For me, this series provides yet another learning experience. My first wife and I had a long distance marriage during our last year. We approached the brink but did not survive, as our foundation wasn't strong enough to withstand the magnetic pull of the other man ... and the stars that lined up weren't ours. It was rewarding to read that you walked on the hot coals together to achieve what you have now.

I would normally close with the advisory: "Enjoy every day together" ... but I think you already discovered that !

Thanks again ...

Stargeezer
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henny Youngman

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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Righteous » Sat Nov 15, 2014 2:56 am

xleglover wrote:
Marc did try to get in touch with me several times over the years, and I never answered. That’s why I’m not on social media and why I never take any jobs in Montreal — or even in Quebec. It’s not that I might succumb to temptation. I just don’t want to see him.
Just wondering if Jenn was at all tempted when Marc contacted her (at least at the beginning). Especially since for a few months after she was still masturbating to her memories of Marc.

Did Jenn tell Rob when Marc tried to contact her?
She has told me she knew it would be very stupid to talk to Marc any further. There was still a pull there for awhile, but Jennifer is the kind of person whose will can be pretty strong when she's made a decision. Marc still made her very horny in her thoughts (hence the masturbation) and when I wasn't around, she was free to be her real self (the more sexy and free version), and wanted to keep in touch with that part of herself. I'd bought some toys the year before that the "old Jenn" had rejected. Now she was making use of them -- especially a largish dildo with a rubber suction base. By masturbating, she kept her sexual self more tame -- and less likely to think about Marc or worse, want to talk to him.

And she absolutely told me immediately when he got in touch with her.

(A late edit: I should have asked Jenn for clarification or fact checking before I wrote the preceding words. Yup, I was wrong. Marc called her once about 10 days after she came home (or number was not hard to find from information) and he wrote to her about a month after that. This was all before I knew about him and her. She simply said, "I don't want to talk to you. Please don't call me anymore." For the letter she read it and never responded. He was asking if he could come and see her in Toronto. Once the whole thing came out, she told me about these two things. My comment sounded as if she told me when they happened which of course she wouldn't have. She did tell me immediately once the whole affair came out. She said I asked her almost immediately whether she'd had any contact with him after she'd come home. That's when she told me about the above-mentioned two occasions.)

Next time I'll check with her before answering! :|
Last edited by Righteous on Sat Nov 15, 2014 8:03 am, edited 2 times in total.
It's true what they say about redheads…
The recounting of my wife's university affair: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088
And what has happened more recently: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613

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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by xleglover » Sat Nov 15, 2014 5:22 am

I can definitely understand how Jenn lost herself in Marc and lost her grounding. I see how that can happen through a combination of events, primarily being away from you.

In my case, my wife Jen "cheated" on me once, when we first started going out. I use quotes because it wasn't really cheating, as we were at the point of our relationship where it was fuzzy if we were exclusive. She hung out with old bf (I knew about it and approved because I was trying to be the understanding new bf). What I didn't realize (stupidly) was the sexual attraction they had for each other. So one time they fucked and when she came home to me she was full of him. Jen didn't tell me this until years later, after we were married.

So I get how a person can get caught up in it. I write stories about my wife, but we have never played the game for real (ie, no oral sex or sexual intercourse). I'm not sure if I would have the guts to really share my wife with another man. But we've never gotten that far because of Jen. The one time we got the closest, she backed out because she was afraid that if we started she would have a hard time stopping. She's very sexual, her sex drive has always been higher than mine. She was afraid she might like it to much. It would be like a slippery slope. Once she broke our marriage vows, she might not be able to resist. It was especially dangerous for us because the man we were thinking about was a friend. Jen was (and still is) close to him. Jen was (and still is) physically attracted to him. She was afraid if their relationship turned physical, it could hurt our marriage.

He is a nice looking guy (like a GQ model), and he is well endowed. How do we know this? Through his wife (girls talk). But he and his wife broke up right around this time, so he was available. So you see it was like the perfect storm. Very dangerous. But also so much a turn on. I've written elements of this in many of my stories.

Rob, it would be like you encouraging Jenn to be with another man. You've told us you shared Jenn with one of your friends. Can you tell us more about that? Did Jenn enjoy it? Did you consider continuing the relationship with him or another lover?
Last edited by xleglover on Sat Nov 15, 2014 9:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Righteous » Sat Nov 15, 2014 8:47 am

xleglover wrote:I can definitely understand how Jenn lost herself in Marc and lost her grounding. I see how that can happen through a combination of events, primarily being away from you.

In my case, my wife Jen "cheated" on me once, when we first started going out. I use quotes because it wasn't really cheating, as we were at the point of our relationship where it was fuzzy if we were exclusive. She hung out with old bf (I knew about it and approved because I was trying to be the understanding new bf). What I didn't realize (stupidly) was the sexual attraction they had for each other. So one time they fucked and when she came home to me she was full of him. Jen didn't tell me this until years later, after we were married.

So I get how a person can get caught up in it. I write stories about my wife, but we have never played the game for real (ie, no oral sex or sexual intercourse). I'm not sure if I would have the guts to really share my wife with another man. But we've never gotten that far because of Jen. The one time we got the closest, she backed out because she was afraid that if we started she would have a hard time starting. She's very sexual, her sex drive has always been higher than mine. She was afraid she might like it to much. It would be like a slippery slope. Once she broke our marriage vows, she might not be able to resist. It was especially dangerous for us because the man we were thinking about was a friend. Jen was (and still is) close to him. Jen was (and still is) physically attracted to him. She was afraid if their relationship turned physical, it could hurt our marriage.

He is a nice looking guy (like a GQ model), and he is well endowed. How do we know this? Through his wife (girls talk). But he and his wife broke up right around this time, so he was available. So you see it was like the perfect storm. Very dangerous. But also so much a turn on. I've written elements of this in many of my stories.

Rob, it would be like you encouraging Jenn to be with another man. You've told us you shared Jenn with one of your friends. Can you tell us more about that? Did Jenn enjoy it? Did you consider continuing the relationship with him or another lover?
You're so right about something like that being dangerous. For ten years Jennifer wouldn't even entertain being with another male even though we used that scenario as pillow talk a lot. "Just not wise," she'd always say. I knew enough not to push it. Once we'd worked out our trust issues and I'd told her that thinking about her with Marc really turned me on, she'd freely talk about Marc if I asked or just do it herself if she really wanted to turn my crank and it never failed to get us both hot. At this point I also knew that she was masturbating on her own -- just not how frequently or how intense it was. One time I forgot something I needed for work. The kids were both in school by this point. I came in through the front door, heard a noise upstairs and went up. Jenn had her suction dildo stuck to one of the bed legs and was fucking herself on it. Her eyes were closed and she was moaning and groaning. After she came, she opened them and sadly seeing me there startled the crap out of her. I asked if she was thinking about Marc, she answered yes. "You miss him fucking you, don't you?" She got red in the face. "Yeah. He had a very nice cock. He was a good fuck." Then she crawled over to me and began undoing my pants. "But it's your cock I love because it's you I love. When I get horny for Marc, this dildo is fine. I don't want him." Then she used some lubehercunt and gave me the most hair-raising handjob. I was useless the rest of the day at work...

Anyway, even though there were guys who hit on her that she might want to at least take for a test drive, she refused because she didn't want to risk anything.

About ten years later, one of my best friends hit a really rough patch. His job got exported, and because he couldn't find work, his already shaky marriage fell apart. Then he found out he had a life-threatening disease (that did eventually kill him). We invited him to stay for a week with us. He was absolutely miserable and it broke our hearts to see it. One night he got a little drunk and admitted that he hadn't had sex in over a year. When I first met him, he was a lusty lad and had a string of beautiful and willing women. His wife had been one of those. He'd always had the hots for Jenn and they used to sometimes flirt and tease to bust my chops a bit. Anyway, he was so depressed that even though he was sex-deprived, he couldn't get the energy or interest up to chase any women.

Jenn and I talked that night, and I said, "What Mike needs is a good fuck."

"I agree. I wish I knew someone who would be a good fit."

"I know someone."

"Who?"

"I'm lying next to her."

"No! Not a good idea. You can't be serious."

We talked about it for nearly an hour. I'd known Mike for 17 years and Jenn had known him for 12. We normally both really enjoyed his company.

So we talked all around the issue, and gradually Jenn warmed up to the idea of giving Mike a "mercy fuck".

"He's going to freak out if I just walk into his bedroom," she said.

"No he won't. He's going to think he's died and gone to heaven. Tell him I said it was okay."

We heard him using the guest bathroom so we knew he was awake.

"Go in and give him a good cane-varnishing. Tell him it's a very special present from both of us."

"How much should I do?"

"Whatever you want."

"I tell you he's going to freak out."

"Yes -- with happiness."

She got out of bed. "You're sure?"

I swatted her rear end. "Get out of here now, woman! Come back when you've worn him out."

She walked out of the room totally naked. He was up reading when she went into the guest room and shut the door. And I was right, he did freak out -- with happiness. They did it again the next morning after the kids left for school and I'd gone to work. Breakfast had been awkward until I took him aside and asked how he'd liked his special present from us.

"You get to live with that every day? You have to be the luckiest fucker in the universe."

"I am -- literally."

"And you're cool with what happened?"

"I suggest she do it."

He just shook his head and then gave me a hug. "Thanks, good buddy. I won't even attempt to try to tell you what it meant to me. I've thought about Jenn for years."

"It was obvious."

He shook his head again and shrugged.

Jenn enjoyed giving our friend so much pleasure, but he wasn't that great in bed, according to her (she has high standards) and his cock was relatively the same size as mine. ("He was very enthusiastic, though.") She decided to do a second round with him that day because she hoped he'd be calmer and last longer (they'd fucked twice the night before). It did go better and she enjoyed it a bit more. Mike left the following day and we never saw him alive again. He died about 18 months later. Jenn and I did get a lovely card from him about a week after his visit and we kept in touch by phone. The end came very suddenly or we would have flown out to see him. The whole thing remains a very bittersweet memory for both of us.

I've let her look this over and she says it's accurate, more or less. "Mike made love to me as if I were the most precious object he'd ever encountered and all he kept saying to me was, 'Thank you', over and over. It was sort of embarrassing. At the time I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but I'm very glad now that you talked me into it."

So that's the story of our friend.

As for you and your wife, I think you're both very wise people. One of my Jenn's favorite sayings is "You can't undo reality."
It's true what they say about redheads…
The recounting of my wife's university affair: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088
And what has happened more recently: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613

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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by bystander » Sat Nov 15, 2014 9:11 am

Your story depressed me to no end while I was reading it and I'm so glad it worked out for you and Jenn in the end. It seems that in a lot of cases time, communication, and a true abiding love are what makes the difference. It's too bad that many aren't able to overcome their problems like you two were able to.

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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by xleglover » Sat Nov 15, 2014 9:42 am

Righteous wrote:
xleglover wrote:I can definitely understand how Jenn lost herself in Marc and lost her grounding. I see how that can happen through a combination of events, primarily being away from you.

In my case, my wife Jen "cheated" on me once, when we first started going out. I use quotes because it wasn't really cheating, as we were at the point of our relationship where it was fuzzy if we were exclusive. She hung out with old bf (I knew about it and approved because I was trying to be the understanding new bf). What I didn't realize (stupidly) was the sexual attraction they had for each other. So one time they fucked and when she came home to me she was full of him. Jen didn't tell me this until years later, after we were married.

So I get how a person can get caught up in it. I write stories about my wife, but we have never played the game for real (ie, no oral sex or sexual intercourse). I'm not sure if I would have the guts to really share my wife with another man. But we've never gotten that far because of Jen. The one time we got the closest, she backed out because she was afraid that if we started she would have a hard time starting. She's very sexual, her sex drive has always been higher than mine. She was afraid she might like it to much. It would be like a slippery slope. Once she broke our marriage vows, she might not be able to resist. It was especially dangerous for us because the man we were thinking about was a friend. Jen was (and still is) close to him. Jen was (and still is) physically attracted to him. She was afraid if their relationship turned physical, it could hurt our marriage.

He is a nice looking guy (like a GQ model), and he is well endowed. How do we know this? Through his wife (girls talk). But he and his wife broke up right around this time, so he was available. So you see it was like the perfect storm. Very dangerous. But also so much a turn on. I've written elements of this in many of my stories.

Rob, it would be like you encouraging Jenn to be with another man. You've told us you shared Jenn with one of your friends. Can you tell us more about that? Did Jenn enjoy it? Did you consider continuing the relationship with him or another lover?
You're so right about something like that being dangerous. For ten years Jennifer wouldn't even entertain being with another male even though we used that scenario as pillow talk a lot. "Just not wise," she'd always say. I knew enough not to push it. Once we'd worked out our trust issues and I'd told her that thinking about her with Marc really turned me on, she'd freely talk about Marc if I asked or just do it herself if she really wanted to turn my crank and it never failed to get us both hot. At this point I also knew that she was masturbating on her own -- just not how frequently or how intense it was. One time I forgot something I needed for work. The kids were both in school by this point. I came in through the front door, heard a noise upstairs and went up. Jenn had her suction dildo stuck to one of the bed legs and was fucking herself on it. Her eyes were closed and she was moaning and groaning. After she came, she opened them and sadly seeing me there startled the crap out of her. I asked if she was thinking about Marc, she answered yes. "You miss him fucking you, don't you?" She got red in the face. "Yeah. He had a very nice cock. He was a good fuck." Then she crawled over to me and began undoing my pants. "But it's your cock I love because it's you I love. When I get horny for Marc, this dildo is fine. I don't want him." Then she used some lubehercunt and gave me the most hair-raising handjob. I was useless the rest of the day at work...

Anyway, even though there were guys who hit on her that she might want to at least take for a test drive, she refused because she didn't want to risk anything.

About ten years later, one of my best friends hit a really rough patch. His job got exported, and because he couldn't find work, his already shaky marriage fell apart. Then he found out he had a life-threatening disease (that did eventually kill him). We invited him to stay for a week with us. He was absolutely miserable and it broke our hearts to see it. One night he got a little drunk and admitted that he hadn't had sex in over a year. When I first met him, he was a lusty lad and had a string of beautiful and willing women. His wife had been one of those. He'd always had the hots for Jenn and they used to sometimes flirt and tease to bust my chops a bit. Anyway, he was so depressed that even though he was sex-deprived, he couldn't get the energy or interest up to chase any women.

Jenn and I talked that night, and I said, "What Mike needs is a good fuck."

"I agree. I wish I knew someone who would be a good fit."

"I know someone."

"Who?"

"I'm lying next to her."

"No! Not a good idea. You can't be serious."

We talked about it for nearly an hour. I'd known Mike for 17 years and Jenn had known him for 12. We normally both really enjoyed his company.

So we talked all around the issue, and gradually Jenn warmed up to the idea of giving Mike a "mercy fuck".

"He's going to freak out if I just walk into his bedroom," she said.

"No he won't. He's going to think he's died and gone to heaven. Tell him I said it was okay."

We heard him using the guest bathroom so we knew he was awake.

"Go in and give him a good cane-varnishing. Tell him it's a very special present from both of us."

"How much should I do?"

"Whatever you want."

"I tell you he's going to freak out."

"Yes -- with happiness."

She got out of bed. "You're sure?"

I swatted her rear end. "Get out of here now, woman! Come back when you've worn him out."

She walked out of the room totally naked. He was up reading when she went into the guest room and shut the door. And I was right, he did freak out -- with happiness. They did it again the next morning after the kids left for school and I'd gone to work. Breakfast had been awkward until I took him aside and asked how he'd liked his special present from us.

"You get to live with that every day? You have to be the luckiest fucker in the universe."

"I am -- literally."

"And you're cool with what happened?"

"I suggest she do it."

He just shook his head and then gave me a hug. "Thanks, good buddy. I won't even attempt to try to tell you what it meant to me. I've thought about Jenn for years."

"It was obvious."

He shook his head again and shrugged.

Jenn enjoyed giving our friend so much pleasure, but he wasn't that great in bed, according to her (she has high standards) and his cock was relatively the same size as mine. ("He was very enthusiastic, though.") She decided to do a second round with him that day because she hoped he'd be calmer and last longer (they'd fucked twice the night before). It did go better and she enjoyed it a bit more. Mike left the following day and we never saw him alive again. He died about 18 months later. Jenn and I did get a lovely card from him about a week after his visit and we kept in touch by phone. The end came very suddenly or we would have flown out to see him. The whole thing remains a very bittersweet memory for both of us.

I've let her look this over and she says it's accurate, more or less. "Mike made love to me as if I were the most precious object he'd ever encountered and all he kept saying to me was, 'Thank you', over and over. It was sort of embarrassing. At the time I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but I'm very glad now that you talked me into it."

So that's the story of our friend.

As for you and your wife, I think you're both very wise people. One of my Jenn's favorite sayings is "You can't undo reality."

Well, yes, a bittersweet story. It reminds me of something that happened with me and my Jen. We were engaged, I was doing well in my job. I worked with a guy -- I'll call him Jay. Jay wasn't doing as well as me, he was outgoing but awkward. We went to happy hours together (we were all in the same group, sorta). Jen was attracted to him, he was tall and cute and she liked geeky guys (like me) -- actually when I first asked her out she was probably more interested in Jay, but she quickly got over it. We fell in love, got engaged, but Jay was still our mutual friend.

Jay got laid off. We were at happy hour when he told us. He was really sad, he didn't know what he was going to do. We were all half drunk, the alcohol increased our sadness for him.

I remember distinctly me and Jen walking off away from the crowd. We sat on the floor (there wasn't anywhere else to sit). Jen's skirt hiked up and I saw a flash of her stocking top. (even back then she wore stockings, she still does). I got lustful seeing her legs.

We were both sad for Jay. He was also awkward around girls, he didn't date much. Somehow I told Jen she should go home with Jay and give him a mercy fuck. By that time, Jen already knew about my fantasies (although as I mentioned she didn't tell me she cheated until years later -- she didn't think I could handle it, and she was probably right). I don't know, maybe it was because of the alcohol, our inhibitions were lowered. She didn't reject me outright, she was actually thinking about it. I knew it wouldn't be a "mercy" fuck, she was attracted to Jay, she'd enjoy it.

I watched her waiting, hoping, scared I guess she'd agree. Again I distinctly remember. Jen looked at her engagement ring (my ring). She seemed to snap out of it and said no.

Anyway, maybe that was the closest we came to actually doing it, not the other one I mentioned. I often think how our lives would have been so different if she'd gone home with Jay that night. For better? Or worst? I'm not sure.

bubbajack

Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by bubbajack » Sat Nov 15, 2014 12:59 pm

This compelling story has many sides to it that seem worthwhile thinking about. One that strikes me as especially significant is that somehow Jenn overcame the "totalizing" effect of extraordinarily intense sexual experience on her emotions - recognizing in the end, with difficulty, that the "totalizing" is a fraud.

Sex seems to have an in-built persuasiveness - or is it pure force? - that can eclipse the presence and the power of other types of experience. When the eclipse is total, only a little light from the obscured sources - if any - leaks around the blocking body. Partial eclipses are less disorienting and may even be fun - for example, we have "NRE" in our lexicon here, which refers to a perhaps more-than-half eclipse.

It was lucky for Jenn and Rob that for all that Marc could do (and boy oh boy he did a hell of a lot!) , he could not completely block out the other sources of light and life from Jenn's viewpoint. Other people in her place might not be able to count on being so lucky or maybe so well-supplied with experiences of deeper intensity in the other parts of their lives as Jenn evidently was.

It seems to me that Jennifer was always aware in some part of her consciousness that, however intense her responses to Marc's virtuosic technical manipulations considered purely on their own, there remained a wider world of worthwhile types of experience which could not be made to overlap coherently with the rather narrow selection of vivid intensities which were on offer from Marc and, as it turned out, his friends.

I don't think this peripheral awareness of hers meant that she was "playing", exactly; but I do think there was a bit of "I'll just jack off 'til I need glasses" in her pushing of the "Oh Yes Please Fuck Me" envelope.

It was plenty close enough to a disaster, of course - but that's what makes the story and its aftermath for the participants and the rest of us so compelling. We all are moved by this near-miss to take inventory again of the resources we would be able to bring to bear to restore a person's (or our own) awareness and responsiveness to the broad constellation of other humane influences, besides "sex with X", which go together to make up the good life. It's a good exercise - "How much love, affection, generosity, kindness, devotion, etc. does my spouse get from our relationship - and is it enough to bear some Fucking for Fun? And if so, how much?" :???:

As a personal speculation, I think her being a gifted musician is deeply relevant to both (i) her intentional extraordinary pushing of her body and her appetite for sexual experience farther and farther down the road to what might be called "technical mastery"; and (ii) notwithstanding that compulsive course of experimentation, her sensitivity to the deeper aspects of human sexuality which far surpass technique and which, along with technique, can make all the difference.

As to (i), every devoted professional musician recognizes that there come a moment when the drive to re-make oneself for the sake of technical musical mastery has brought him or her to the point of irreparable injury - and still, not all of them can stop there (think of Robert Schumann and the machine he invented for "strengthening" the ring finger which resulted in the total crippling of his hands - Oh, but he was nuts, right?). I think Jenn was prepared by her career as a violinist, in a way, to recognize wiser counsel on the potential power of her sex with Marc to take it all away in the end - the family life, the musical career, the experience of devoted love, and even the sex - everything. I think she was maybe a bit more open to this kind of appeal than she might otherwise have been because succumbing to the temptation to give more than your all to becoming a virtuoso violinist can have - has had for too many people - the same result. (Tartini seems to have come back from it, but he was unique and damned lucky.) I think the meeting with her violin teacher struck this chord in a way that perhaps no one who is not deeply immersed in musical performance practice could have sounded - and no one not so immersed could have heard in quite the same way.

As to (ii) - every serious musician knows there is an essential aspect of musical performance which goes far beyond not only technical accomplishment but maybe even beyond the will and intentions of the artist - and it is, accordingly, a precious, ineffable thing. To be sure, there are transcendent geniuses who can do it more often than not - maybe even every time. But in the end it is experiencing the ineffable - right there in your own ears andobjectively in the music - that people go to concerts to experience, even though it quite impossible to isolate and describe without sounding a bit - well - looney.

You don't have to be Paganini to contribute significantly as a violinist to the betterment of the experienced human world. Sane musicians eventually understand this, even if, as is rightly said of musicians, "I didn't choose music, music chose me.".

If that idea was in her head about music, maybe it wasn't too great an analogical leap for her to realize that, just because Marc chose her, fucked the beJeezus out of her and made her a highly accomplished sexual performer, nothing said that she had to immolate herself and the remainder of her good life because of it.

For this realization I too rejoice, along with Jenn and Rob, the late teacher (wherever she is - I think it's something like heaven), and all of OHW!! :up: :up: :D

Righteous
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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Righteous » Sat Nov 15, 2014 5:05 pm

bubbajack wrote:This compelling story has many sides to it that seem worthwhile thinking about. One that strikes me as especially significant is that somehow Jenn overcame the "totalizing" effect of extraordinarily intense sexual experience on her emotions - recognizing in the end, with difficulty, that the "totalizing" is a fraud.

Sex seems to have an in-built persuasiveness - or is it pure force? - that can eclipse the presence and the power of other types of experience. When the eclipse is total, only a little light from the obscured sources - if any - leaks around the blocking body. Partial eclipses are less disorienting and may even be fun - for example, we have "NRE" in our lexicon here, which refers to a perhaps more-than-half eclipse.

It was lucky for Jenn and Rob that for all that Marc could do (and boy oh boy he did a hell of a lot!) , he could not completely block out the other sources of light and life from Jenn's viewpoint. Other people in her place might not be able to count on being so lucky or maybe so well-supplied with experiences of deeper intensity in the other parts of their lives as Jenn evidently was.

It seems to me that Jennifer was always aware in some part of her consciousness that, however intense her responses to Marc's virtuosic technical manipulations considered purely on their own, there remained a wider world of worthwhile types of experience which could not be made to overlap coherently with the rather narrow selection of vivid intensities which were on offer from Marc and, as it turned out, his friends.

I don't think this peripheral awareness of hers meant that she was "playing", exactly; but I do think there was a bit of "I'll just jack off 'til I need glasses" in her pushing of the "Oh Yes Please Fuck Me" envelope.

It was plenty close enough to a disaster, of course - but that's what makes the story and its aftermath for the participants and the rest of us so compelling. We all are moved by this near-miss to take inventory again of the resources we would be able to bring to bear to restore a person's (or our own) awareness and responsiveness to the broad constellation of other humane influences, besides "sex with X", which go together to make up the good life. It's a good exercise - "How much love, affection, generosity, kindness, devotion, etc. does my spouse get from our relationship - and is it enough to bear some Fucking for Fun? And if so, how much?" :???:

As a personal speculation, I think her being a gifted musician is deeply relevant to both (i) her intentional extraordinary pushing of her body and her appetite for sexual experience farther and farther down the road to what might be called "technical mastery"; and (ii) notwithstanding that compulsive course of experimentation, her sensitivity to the deeper aspects of human sexuality which far surpass technique and which, along with technique, can make all the difference.

As to (i), every devoted professional musician recognizes that there come a moment when the drive to re-make oneself for the sake of technical musical mastery has brought him or her to the point of irreparable injury - and still, not all of them can stop there (think of Robert Schumann and the machine he invented for "strengthening" the ring finger which resulted in the total crippling of his hands - Oh, but he was nuts, right?). I think Jenn was prepared by her career as a violinist, in a way, to recognize wiser counsel on the potential power of her sex with Marc to take it all away in the end - the family life, the musical career, the experience of devoted love, and even the sex - everything. I think she was maybe a bit more open to this kind of appeal than she might otherwise have been because succumbing to the temptation to give more than your all to becoming a virtuoso violinist can have - has had for too many people - the same result. (Tartini seems to have come back from it, but he was unique and damned lucky.) I think the meeting with her violin teacher struck this chord in a way that perhaps no one who is not deeply immersed in musical performance practice could have sounded - and no one not so immersed could have heard in quite the same way.

As to (ii) - every serious musician knows there is an essential aspect of musical performance which goes far beyond not only technical accomplishment but maybe even beyond the will and intentions of the artist - and it is, accordingly, a precious, ineffable thing. To be sure, there are transcendent geniuses who can do it more often than not - maybe even every time. But in the end it is experiencing the ineffable - right there in your own ears andobjectively in the music - that people go to concerts to experience, even though it quite impossible to isolate and describe without sounding a bit - well - looney.

You don't have to be Paganini to contribute significantly as a violinist to the betterment of the experienced human world. Sane musicians eventually understand this, even if, as is rightly said of musicians, "I didn't choose music, music chose me.".

If that idea was in her head about music, maybe it wasn't too great an analogical leap for her to realize that, just because Marc chose her, fucked the beJeezus out of her and made her a highly accomplished sexual performer, nothing said that she had to immolate herself and the remainder of her good life because of it.

For this realization I too rejoice, along with Jenn and Rob, the late teacher (wherever she is - I think it's something like heaven), and all of OHW!! :up: :up: :D
Wow! Just wow.

Jenn is out at a gig tonight and won't be home until very late. I'm going to show this post to her. Don't be surprised if she actually gets on here to respond to what you've said here. I am very sure it's going to resonate with her.

Many thanks for the very thoughtful post.

Rob
It's true what they say about redheads…
The recounting of my wife's university affair: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088
And what has happened more recently: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613

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happygirl622
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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by happygirl622 » Sun Nov 16, 2014 11:19 am

Hello, I read this thread from start to finish and wanted to echo the comments regarding it being a compelling, well written and intense story. Quite a journey and a love story in its own way.

I understand why people have an issue with Jennifer having an affair with Marc... it is hard for us as readers to not feel protective of Rob; especially as we know they end up together and survive the event. Part of me felt sorry for her as she really did risk everything to stay in the relationship with Marc. And the other part felt bad for Rob as he didn't deserve the deception.

I did want to observe, though, as someone who in a prior life, was also unfaithful. I can say this with certainty - those relationships (no matter how wrong) have a logic of their own. In your own mind you have boundaries you ahere to (Jen wouldn't stay overnight) no matter how irrelevant and you convince yourself that you are powerless to change your path. Its so much easier to get caught up in it than it should be and particularly for those who are in a vulnerable state to begin with. I think there are many men like Marc who don't hesitate to exploit women for their own pleasure/whim and are not self aware enough to realize they are doing so.

I am happy for both of you; that you've been able to forgive and learn and love each other and move forward to have a full life together.

Rob, you have my admiration for not allowing resentment and anger to consume you and ruin whatever opportunity you had to salvage your marriage.

Jen, I lived in the land of guilt far too long... its awful and I don't recommend it. It is important that you are able to emotionally resolve that phase and it sounds like the process of telling the (whole) story has been a healthy thing for you and your marriage.

Good luck to you!

bubbajack

Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by bubbajack » Sun Nov 16, 2014 12:21 pm

happygirl622 wrote: " ... those relationships (no matter how wrong) have a logic of their own ...".

This is so true - and enormously important to recognize! That powerful logical coherence of the affair is what can obscure the other relational factors - marriage, family, profession, parenting - which are often quite diversified and not so tightly integrated into a clear and appealing logical pattern as the terms of the sexual affair, but nevertheless are essential in and to a real, adult life.

This internal logic of the sexual affair plus, of course, the secrecy which radically isolates the cheater, thus contribute to the false and fraudulent "totalizing" which often leads to the usual big problems for everybody.

I am at present thinking of it as the parasite relationship killing the delicate web of host relationships - which literally make the whole affair possible - and thereby inevitably killing itself as well. I do not use the "parasite" analogy as a synonym for "bad" - every complex biological and social relationship is accompanied - some are even supported or enabled - by more or less parasitical connections with other entities.

The allure of sex outside of marriage has never ceased and never will cease - and to be completely truthful, the reason for the allure is often the sheer beauty of the extramarital experience itself for the spouse and not some kind of vulnerability to moral depravity - even if that spouse is a woman :shock: !!

The beauty of the experience of extramarital sex includes the logical coherence which happygirl refers to - and which I think is natural and not evil - among its most powerful aesthetic appeals. The problem is, how can this potentiality for beautiful experience be fostered and preserved without the enormous risks of destruction which are always haunting not only the lovers' relationship but the individual lovers' other essential human relationships as well?

So it may be that something like hotwifing, through enabling interspousal communication and removing the low-grade moralism which always seems to be hanging around women's sexuality, can mitigate the totalizing effect of the radical isolation and compelling logic of the cheating affair.

And why should our society keep that destructive mix of incompatibilities implicitly among its ideals? Shouldn't we try instead to accommodate or at least reduce the harm from this indelibly human interest?

Righteous
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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Righteous » Mon Nov 17, 2014 8:58 am

Jennifer here.

Thank the two posters above for your very detailed analysis and thoughts on what happened to me. Outside of what some of the thoughts going through my head were at the time, I haven’t said much about the perspective I’ve gained through the years about what happened.

First of all, I should say there is a secondary feature to my description of what happened between Marc and me. It started out as a way to gain some distance and allow me to tell my husband what happened. He and the professional who helped us came up with the idea of writing it out since I was having so much trouble talking about it. Written words are a way of stepping back from the situation and being slightly more objective and dispassionate. That’s how it started out.

Almost immediately, though, it was obvious that what I was telling Robby in my written account was turning him on big time. One night about 1/4 of the way through the story, I handed him the laptop and asked if he wanted to read the just-finished section. (We were in bed and it was summer, so no covers.) I watched in amazement as his cock began to harden until he was about as erect as I’d ever seen it and it stayed that way the entire time he read. When he was finished, I was ready with some lube, sat between his legs and started teasing him with my hands, while asking questions about what turned him on so much.

His responses were enlightening (and the outcome very enjoyable for both of us), so I began to realize that he might have even been onboard with Marc (at least somewhat) if I’d told him about my attraction to this new man right at the beginning.

From then on, I wrote the accounts with a much more erotic feel to them. I came to enjoy writing so graphically. It was a big turn-on for me, too, so what you folks have read reflects the fact that most of the account originally (and certainly now after the current rewrite) were meant to turn us both on.

But as to the very thought-filled post by the gentleman quoted above, I was completely swamped by the whole experience with Marc. I don’t I know I do not come off very well. I was the height of selfishness, completely focused only on myself.

He came into my life at a very strange time. I was married and only weeks later found myself teaching at a music camp. Anyone who’s spent a summer on the staff of a sleep-away camp knows what a hothouse atmosphere it usually has. I didn’t relate to any of the other younger people. They wanted to drink and party all the time. Marc (and the other members of his quartet) were a lot older and light years more sophisticated. I was drawn to them. They were doing what I wanted to do, ie: playing music and being successful at it. I hung out with them. I know there was talk among the staff how I was their “party girl”, but they were all complete gentlemen. Then, one night, Marc kissed me, and everything changed.

After that first time Marc took me on his sofa, I sort of went insane. Up until then, I’d had this pretty detailed fantasy world in my head, but had been too scared and repressed to act on it. When I was horny, I’d sneak looks at naughty magazines and read all the letter in Penthouse, stuff like that. Then, after I’d given myself an orgasm, I’d be swamped by self-loathing for what I’d done and thought. When I was twelve (the age at which I masturbated for the first time), I was sure I’d be going straight to hell. A year later, my mother barged into my room and caught me in the act and the shit-storm that followed was unbelievable. But it didn’t stop me. Within six months, I was at it again — just way more careful!

When I got serious with Robby, my mother and grandmother sat me down to tell me their expectations about the way I should behave. I hadn’t dated much in high school (too focused on music and a bit afraid of boys because of what had been told to me about them). They expected me to be a virgin until my marriage night (too late) and while I could kiss Robby, under no circumstances was he to touch me intimately (too late again) because “All he will want is more,” and “If you want your husband to respect you, you must act like a lady at all times.” The night before my wedding, they told me the way “the ladies in our family behave with their husbands in the bedroom”. While they did acknowledge that husbands might have needs that don’t directly have to do with procreation, I must remain dignified: only in bed and preferably in the dark, no dirty talk, missionary position (“the way God meant for humans to procreate”) and no oral sex (“You wouldn’t want the lips that you use to kiss your baby be the same ones that kissed a man’s penis, would you?”) You can see why I was as messed up as I was.

Then Marc came along. All my sexual fantasies were within reach, and because I had no history with him (as I did with Robby), I could just let myself go and experience them all — and then some. As to what I was doing to my marriage, happygirl is correct, I rationalized and self-justified what I was doing into oblivion. It’s easy to see now (and laughable) how stupid it was. My relationship with Marc did have a logic of its own.

She’s also right about that one boundary (never staying with Marc overnight — except that weekend in the chalet). I think now it may have saved me. It was the last vestige of normalcy in my life and I clung to it very hard. It was like that final step away from my marriage that I couldn’t bring myself to take. If I had begun staying overnight with Marc, I know I wouldn’t have taken long before I moved in with him full-time, and my marriage would have been over. I would have taken the low road and simply called Robby up to tell him.

The comments bubbajack makes about music study and musicians is really bang on. I was sort of practising with Marc in the same way I practised violin and made music. To be successful, you have to have a “take no prisoners” attitude. Marc had that in spades, and that is one of the very desirable things that attracted me to him. He had the superior sex technique, but he certainly “played” me in bed, as I sometimes did with him. It’s not really in the story, but I sometimes teased him unmercifully with my body. We’d be watching a video in his living room and I’d open my jeans and slide my hands into my panties and slowly masturbate. It drove him nuts. Robby loves when I do the same thing to him.

Really, I became a woman with Marc. He showed me how mind-blowing sex could be. Once my secret was out, I did the same with Robby. Nearly everything I did at the hands of Marc, I’ve done with my darling husband probably hundreds of times over the years. Until our kids came along, we had sex every day. Marc showed me things I could scarcely believe and made me want total mastery over my sexual self as I did with my musical self, bubbajack. The problem is that it nearly swallowed me alive. Sometimes Marc could take me to a place that was very like nirvana. I occasionally get to visit the same place when the stars aline and I play as well as I can. It is a very addicting experience.

What doesn’t come across in the relating of what happened to me is that I am a very moral person. While I don’t go to church anymore, I think I am religious in my own way. At the very least I now I try to live the “golden rule” (Do no harm; help all people).

In closing, I married the right man, and then when I was given a second chance, I made the right decision to stay with him. I bet their isn’t one in a thousand husbands who would have stuck with me. When I blurted out my secret on that awful night, I fully expected to be booted out — literally. Robby left in the car and drove around for several hours while I cowered at home and packed my belongings. Then he came back, sat me down and we talked for nearly 12 hours straight. He did scream at me, but that was the only time. I wonder how many times I said I’m sorry, and felt that the words were as hollow as could be. I would gladly lay down my life for my husband. He is so special and I wake up every morning so thankful that he entered my life and didn’t leave at its darkest hour. I could not imagine anyone better than he.

Thanks for the comments, and if you got this far, thanks for allowing me to ventilate.

—Jennifer
It's true what they say about redheads…
The recounting of my wife's university affair: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088
And what has happened more recently: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613

viking53

Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by viking53 » Mon Nov 17, 2014 10:28 am

Jennifer,

Once more, thank you for your generosity in sharing all this with us. There is so much to be learnt from your experience, not least how damaging the repression of sexuality can be. You managed to overcome the incredible burden you were given from the beginning by your mother and grandmother but unfortunately there are many more that don't break the shackles and become totally repressed. I wonder how your marriage would have survived if you hadn't gone through the change. The picture you describe of your strict repression before this journey has been the cause of many divorces. Myself, I grew up with some very interesting contrasts - a Scottish father and grandmother, that mirror the attitudes of your mother and grandmother, and a Swedish mother that was diametrically opposite. I think that was my saving.

I hope there will be many women that read this story and realise their own interests, needs and potential. Hopefully our children today are given a more balanced start.

Jan
PS I would still love to hear you playing sometime. Are there any recordings available?

lannontom

Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by lannontom » Mon Nov 17, 2014 10:49 am

Jennifer,

You are truly not only a good person but one of the most self-aware and honest people that I've ever experienced, if reading a story can be considered knowing someone.

Righteous
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Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Righteous » Mon Nov 17, 2014 12:21 pm

To the previous two posters:

You're making me blush!

You're also too generous, Iannontom. When I was 25, I was a complete idiot. You know, if I'd been more balanced, I could have gone over to Marc's every once in a while, gotten my rocks off with him, and probably would have been able to tell Robby what was going on. When Marc pushed in between my legs, he must have shut something off in my head (maybe there's an on/off switch down there or something!) because I went insane. That's the way I view it. I had to be insane to risk everything that was really important just to get the crap fucked out of me (sorry for being so blunt, but my actions warrant it). Self-awareness came much later when I'd calmed down and the whole thing with Marc had gone completely cold -- and that self-awareness was very hard won.

As for recordings, there are some, but it would reveal way more than I am able to reveal. My lot in life is too public. Robby has been very careful to disguise things and it's just too great a risk. For instance, I can't imagine what would happen if my daughter or son were to somehow stumble across information about their mommy's past. I may wind up telling them a bit of it someday if it would be advantageous to them to know, but never the whole story! The Internet is pretty permanent in that regard. My cousin and her husband got burned big time with some photos they posted which were really rather innocent.

But thanks for asking!

Hugs,
Jennifer
It's true what they say about redheads…
The recounting of my wife's university affair: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088
And what has happened more recently: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613

Righteous
Experienced
Posts: 201
Joined: Mon Sep 09, 2013 8:24 am

Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Righteous » Mon Nov 17, 2014 12:22 pm

Jennifer, if you're going to be on here so much, get your own goddamned account!

:D

---Robert
It's true what they say about redheads…
The recounting of my wife's university affair: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088
And what has happened more recently: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613

bubbajack

Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by bubbajack » Mon Nov 17, 2014 12:41 pm

Righteous wrote:To the previous two posters:

You're making me blush!

You're also too generous, Iannontom. When I was 25, I was a complete idiot. You know, if I'd been more balanced, I could have gone over to Marc's every once in a while, gotten my rocks off with him, and probably would have been able to tell Robby what was going on. When Marc pushed in between my legs, he must have shut something off in my head (maybe there's an on/off switch down there or something!) because I went insane. That's the way I view it. I had to be insane to risk everything that was really important just to get the crap fucked out of me (sorry for being so blunt, but my actions warrant it). Self-awareness came much later when I'd calmed down and the whole thing with Marc had gone completely cold -- and that self-awareness was very hard won.

As for recordings, there are some, but it would reveal way more than I am able to reveal. My lot in life is too public. Robby has been very careful to disguise things and it's just too great a risk. For instance, I can't imagine what would happen if my daughter or son were to somehow stumble across information about their mommy's past. I may wind up telling them a bit of it someday if it would be advantageous to them to know, but never the whole story! The Internet is pretty permanent in that regard. My cousin and her husband got burned big time with some photos they posted which were really rather innocent.

But thanks for asking!
,
Jennifer
Disguising your true identity by altering important details is of course prudent - but more than that, please, please, if you are actually a tenor saxophonist and not a violinist, continue to keep that nondisclosure inviolate! :shock: :???: :(

It is an integral part of my intensely exciting fantasy about you as a virtuosic sex and music performer, that you play the violin :whip: :whip: :mrgreen: ... And, in the same spirit of prudence, I am not telling why ... ;).

OK - so I'm really weird. :roll:

Righteous
Experienced
Posts: 201
Joined: Mon Sep 09, 2013 8:24 am

Re: Between Jennifer and Marc

Unread post by Righteous » Mon Nov 17, 2014 1:10 pm

Righteous wrote:Jennifer, if you're going to be on here so much, get your own goddamned account!

:D

---Robert
NO!

And speaking of no, guess who's not getting any tonight...

:lol:

---Jennifer
It's true what they say about redheads…
The recounting of my wife's university affair: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=28088
And what has happened more recently: http://ourhotwives.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=30613

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