Samantha Getting Started

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Samanthasman
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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Samanthasman » Mon Jun 09, 2014 8:02 am

arizona wrote:Several people have stated several times that Samantha is a "Master manipulator".

Yeah! Exactly right! In SPADES!

Stand your ground, SM. This is going from bad to worse.
The thought of her being a "master manipulator" is sort of a turn on to me, but I don't know that I would agree. Maybe she's just soo good at it that I can't tell... A master ;)

She does often get what she wants, not unlike most women, but I can't say that there is a genius plan behind it.

Right now she wants Bill the way it has been - solo. Her argument is that she only feels comfortable with that but is willing to improve my involvement with more pics and videos. In fairness, she has sent me lots of pics and made 4 full-length videos. However, I guess I want a little more - I want to watch.

The impasse continues...
Bill already texted her asking her for sex today. Monday is always "Fuck Samantha Day" and they have not fucked in 5 days (a long time for them). I asked if she wanted to work something out (continue our negotiations), and she just sort of said "not now".

Later today she is going to start getting a little pissy and grumpy and ask to see him. She'll probably offer some sort of temporary stop gap. Maybe a special pic or video. Maybe something else in exchange for a one night pass. We'll see. She's delaying the discussion. She hoping my interest is watching fades.

She does have this new "painted-on almost see thru" dress that is unbelievable on her now 36D-24-36 5'8" frame (debatable if it's street legal) that I have asked her to wear on a dinner date with me to a 5-star restaurant. She has said no, but I think she may throw that offer in to the mix.

On an unrelated topic: her old BF, Al, from long ago has also been texting her - including today asking for sex (a bit of a surprise). I suggested she see him. She's not really interested - because he's sort of a handsome jerk, and now that she has Sid and Bill and others desperately pursuing her, she's not really into dealing with Al's booty call requests for her to come and service him at an apparent lull between girlfriends. To tease me she said "how about I see Al and then Bill tonite?". I asked "you mean sleep with both of them?" And she said "no, I'd just catch up with Al and have a drink and consider a future date... Then I would let Bill pick me up an take me home for sex!"... Interesting, but I still want to watch...
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Iamtheman
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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Iamtheman » Mon Jun 09, 2014 9:57 am

I know this is going to be chalked up as a "cheerleader" response, and that description is absolutely spot on...

Can you imagine the threesome between Samantha, Bill, and Al? Talk about something to watch!

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Samanthasman
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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Samanthasman » Mon Jun 09, 2014 10:15 am

Iamtheman wrote:I know this is going to be chalked up as a "cheerleader" response, and that description is absolutely spot on...

Can you imagine the threesome between Samantha, Bill, and Al? Talk about something to watch!
That dream team will never be... But I'm sure there will be plenty of others...
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Iamtheman
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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Iamtheman » Mon Jun 09, 2014 10:26 am

Even if not the dream team, watching an mfm with Samantha sounds like as much fun as being in one.

That is all the cheerleading I have for the day. Carry on...

seductionrules

Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by seductionrules » Mon Jun 09, 2014 12:31 pm

I am not a hotwife expert but it sounds similar to my wife who is considering a relationship with another man but would not countenance a 3some which she considers 'creepy'.

Maybe you should get her to agree that the 3some is something to be done in the (unspecified) future when she is comfortable with it as part of your sexual experimentation.

And I would keep open communication with Bill who may lobby on your behalf and may have more traction with Samantha.

Good luck.

Regards

MR. SR

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by WantMore » Mon Jun 09, 2014 1:33 pm

I guess Im a worse cheerleader... I was fantasizing about Bill, Al and Sid... Imagining watching her every hole filled.. whew!! Hot Hot!!

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Iamtheman » Mon Jun 09, 2014 4:06 pm

Samanthasman wrote:
bubbajack wrote:I think - or maybe "feel" is a better word (INFP here, for whatever that's worth :roll: ) that somewhere in all this to-ing and fro-ing there is a deal to be made. The negotiations have gone on for long enough and (it seems) with lots of airing of alternative outcomes being jointly and unflinchingly considered, that I believe the parties are sincerely interested in reaching a mutually satisfying accommodation. This is incomparably important.

But there does still seem to be some posturing going on - perhaps as a function of the parties' personal characters - which suggests that they are not helping each other as much as they might. My guess is that the negotiations are stuck on the one big issue of SM being present or not present in person when S is fucking Bill because the issue is framed as flatly incompatible alternatives.

But why, apart from the verbal/conceptual formulation, are the alternatives incompatible instead of merely contrasting, and therefore subject to potential mitigation by degrees? Why can't a program of experiments be carried out with different details exhibiting different degrees of SM's proximity/remoteness to the crucible of passion between S and Bill?

Of course this possibility has occurred to the parties and to many of the commenters - but the standoff remains.

It might be that the parties are each haunted by a fear of not being "personally in charge"of the hotwifing enterprise, which can be a very tough nut for many people to crack. The thought of not being in control implies for some personalities that someone else is - and that seems unbearable - especially to those who see themselves as "results-oriented".

But marriage and the conduct of a marital sex life is fundamentally a process involving a sequence of cumulative adjustments - big and small. Who after ten (or twenty or thirty) years still thinks their wedding-day ideas about life together were true, correct and complete? Who after their first (or second or nth) hotwifing experience would say it was "exactly as I expected - no biggie"?

My point is that the devotion to being "in charge" can become a shibboleth which falsifies the actual record of the relationship and impoverishes the potentialities for development of a deeper, richer life together - if you let it.

I am not you and I am in a relationship where 'Who's in charge?" has retreated in importance to almost nothing as an (initially hard-won) mutuality of shared control across the vast majority of important areas of our life together has taken over around here. I once heard the injunction to "ride the horse in the direction it's going" and it has worked out really, really well ...

Best, as always. :)
Shibboleth !!??

Bubba - you are so interesting to listen to that you are one person on here that I would actually like to meet in "real life"

Yes, the negotiations continue. My style is to push for a resolution. Samantha's style is to let things linger, often past deadlines, and then say "how about xyz!?". Case in point, she was going to have a date with Bill tonite but we never concluded what our agreement is. So, the soft date passes without happening or even talking about it.

Tomorrow is Monday which we always designated as "Fuck Samantha Day". She ALWAYS has a date on Monday. I already know what is going to happen. She won't bring up anything until tomorrow and then She'll say "so, I'm going to see Bill tonite, ok?" And I'm going to say "no, not until we reach some agreement!" And we'll start negotiating again.... It's painfully silly to go thru this, but that's where we are...

Where will this discussion go!? Not sure. Probably to a compromise. Her last proposal was that I let her sleep with Bill for 8 sessions (2 hours each) including 1 sleepover and 2 dinners out, over 10 days in exchange for me "watching" from the window outside of the guest house 2 times. I said there would have to be at least one "in room" and she flat out said "no".

I'm not sure I'm excited enough to accept anything short of at least one "in room" at this stage, so the impasse continues.

Tomorrow we will ALL be super horny so we'll see what happens.
So, who among the super horny won the standoff?

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Mojo123 » Mon Jun 09, 2014 5:30 pm

seductionrules wrote:...Bill who may lobby on your behalf and may have more traction with Samantha...

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Samanthasman
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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Samanthasman » Mon Jun 09, 2014 8:08 pm

So... Tonite absolutely nothing happened.

We went to a movie, had dinner, then snuggled and watched tv in bed now she's asleep curled up next to me. I asked her just before she fell asleep if she wanted to talk and she said "no, we're great... Let's just give it a rest for a while"...

So, no HWing for now... I suspect our HWing with Bill is on hold.

She does have a date with a new guy on Thursday, and I know she was working on that a little today. I also know that Bill texted her and she basically texted back that it's not a good time....
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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Samanthasman » Tue Jun 10, 2014 4:50 am

So... This morning we got up early and talked a little about Bill. I asked her "what's the plan" and she says "I just wanna keep doing how we have been". I said "that's not working well for me anymore - I want to watch". She says: "I just don't feel comfortable with that so I guess we're done with Bill!"

She went on to say that after our reboot we agreed to limit texting and calling and it's made the relationship totally sexual, which she says has been less and less fulfilling to her. She says she wants more relationship to go with the sex, but understands that if that is a problem, then she's just resigned herself to the fact that Bill is not going to last.

I asked "so, you'd rather dump Bill than let me watch?" And she says "yes, I'm ready to dump him because I don't feel comfortable being watched and it's not fulfilling to continue to fuck him without being able to have a substantive relationship with him. I've felt for a while that each session we've had after our reboot was a gift and it was only a matter of time before we reached a point where this was not going to work any more because you or I would not want to continue. I think we are at that point"

She does not seem upset. She seems "resigned" to this.

I asked her if I need to worry about her seeing him behind my back. She swears no, and says she is ready to make whatever commitment she needs to make to me. She's quit loving.

Her mood and tone is "I'm good! I'm happy! It's gonna be fine!"

I again suggested she at least try to have Bill over and let me watch from outside. She said "that's not that exciting to me", but did not say no way. I suggested just a baby step - just try it with me from outside. She said "maybe"... Maybe tonite...

She still has a date with a new guy on Thursday. A much younger man, which could be interesting.

I'm thinking now might be a good time for me to send an email to Bill explaining to him how he is about to get left behind because Samantha does not want to be watched. My guess is that he will say to her "bring it on... If that's the only hold up, get over it". I know he is not shy...
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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by mundyman » Tue Jun 10, 2014 5:39 am

.......and the battle of wills continues. I wonder who blinks first. I feel like I am watching a competition rather than a personal relationship. Team Samantha v. Team Samanthasman.
As someone who works with people and studies interpersonal relationships I am fascinated by the dynamics and workings of your relationship with your wife. I make no judgments but send a huge thank you for sharing this with us.
I continue to pull for you and your wife and sending nothing but best wishes that you will continue to grow and love while living this lifestyle.

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Marc » Tue Jun 10, 2014 9:04 am

[quote="Samanthasman]

She went on to say that after our reboot we agreed to limit texting and calling and it's made the relationship totally sexual, which she says has been less and less fulfilling to her. She says she wants more relationship to go with the sex...[/quote]

And that's where you step in and say "since it is so important to you how about I let you have back some of that texting and relationship with Bill in exchange for something that is important to me...letting me watch sometimes."

You really are a crappy negotiator for a high powered business executive. Call her bluff. If she still says no then is when you know there really is more to the story here. I mean at that point she pretty much has everything back she had before. Let her have her "relationship" with Bill. All she has to give up is letting you watch about 20 or 30% of the time. You really have nothing to lose here since you have all this faith and trust in her never running off with him. Give her something really important so you can have something really important. If she still says no then I say its time to call off ALL hotwifing. For good

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by DaBolts » Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:00 am

You are pushing way to hard. Call her bluff

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Samanthasman » Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:04 am

UPDATE: Samantha SAYS - tonite I get to watch!!

To get us past our impasse, Samantha called Bill and asked if he would be OK with me watching (though the window) tonite. She said he's not excited about it, but he really wants to see her, so he will give it a try.

She does not want to do it either, but is basically doing it for me. "To make my husband happy"

I am excited about the prospect of getting to finally watch! I'm mildly disappointed that she is not excited about it, that she's doing only for me, but I'm hoping that she will get into the sex and forget about the watching and, in the end, just have a great time and be happy that she's making me happy. If at the end of this experiment, if she's unhappy or resentful, then I guess we'll pull the plug.

This is NEW TO ME and I'm not sure how to act here...

Should I get binoculars? A night scope? What should I say? How should I act?

I did get to watch her several years ago, but that was a situation where the BF did not know I was watching, so I had to be super stealth and didn't get the best views. I expect this time will be longer and more intense and I'll get a better look, although from 15 feet away, and occasionally obscured... It also ust occurred to me that if I'm outside, I won't be able to hear... where is just about as erotic as watching... humm... I guess I could ask her to put her phone on, but she's a little grumpy and nervous and not really in the mood for me to ask her for more...

She did ask me if she could meet him for a drink before hand, and I said sure. She's gonna go and have a glass of wine or two before coming home with him and retiring to the guest house.

He will stay the night, however, she plans to come back to my bed after she's been with him for 2-3 hours... and possibly see him again in the morning before he leaves for work if everyone is feeling good about it.
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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by SmilingHusband » Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:11 am

I wish I could be happy for you, but, my first thoughts were "he's grudgingly getting crumbs, when he should instead get a nice piece of cake, with love and a smile and some thankfulness.". so much, for so little in return.

I have this image of you out in the dark (in the rain?), straining for a view. not the way it should be for you, IMO. makes me a little sad.

if you are happy, I guess that's good. :up:

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by WantMore » Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:16 am

Could just imagine... SM has binnoculars, looking in the window. Neighbors see him and gets arrested for a peeping tom. Lol

So be careful about watching thru the window!

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by hornedhubby » Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:55 am

Just open the window a crack, and you'll hear just fine. And, IMO, be as quiet and unobtrusive as possible.

I hope, for both of you, that Sam winds up enjoying you watching her, opening the door to more watching and even threesomes in the future. It has been confusing to me that she has resisted this request.

Best wishes tonight. My concern for you folks, hopefully unfounded, is that all three of you might be bringing secret resentments and reservations to the event.

Keep your cool and try to relate to her pleasure. When you lose track of your compersion for her is when you have trouble sharing her.

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Iamtheman » Tue Jun 10, 2014 11:01 am

Samanthasman wrote:This is NEW TO ME and I'm not sure how to act here...

Should I get binoculars? A night scope? What should I say? How should I act?

I did get to watch her several years ago, but that was a situation where the BF did not know I was watching, so I had to be super stealth and didn't get the best views. I expect this time will be longer and more intense and I'll get a better look, although from 15 feet away, and occasionally obscured... It also ust occurred to me that if I'm outside, I won't be able to hear... where is just about as erotic as watching... humm... I guess I could ask her to put her phone on, but she's a little grumpy and nervous and not really in the mood for me to ask her for more...
Well if you're not in the room, does it matter how you act? I was under the impression that you would be perhaps right outside the room but still in the house. Will they even be able to see you? Do you want Samantha to watch you watching her? Your description makes it sound like you'll be on the porch. TV is better with the sound turned up, not off :(

The times that I've been watched with a woman, the interested parties have made themselves comfortable with a good view just off stage so to speak. Quiet, but in the room or just outside. Some guys have gotten themselves off watching. Some of the wives have liked watching their husbands do this. Some have been cucked with their wife having the option to call them in or just tease them with looks.

As for the grumpiness. It's not her fantasy. I know that many (and certainly you as well) want to see her grinning and excited about the chance to make you happy. I sincerely think that she does want to make you happy. It's just a scenario that she hadn't planned for and is struggling with how it will play out and how her own sexual self will experience it. And hey, who's to say that Bill won't be the one with performance issues :lol:

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Samanthasman » Tue Jun 10, 2014 11:15 am

So... Fortunately we have no neighbors, and it will not be raining tonite. So I doubt I'll be arrested as a peeping tom ;)

People on OHW always advocate "baby steps" - well, this is a baby step for us. She does not want me to watch so we are going to take our first step with me looking though the window of a guess house.

Samantha also asked me what I wanted for Father's Day, and I said "To be in the room!". She is considering that for Sunday, if things go well today. For today we are trying a "baby step". If everyone has fun with it, it will open the doors to do more. If she hates it or is resentful, OK, experiment failed, we move on.

She is a little nervous about it - and I do understand that. I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do to make her feel less nervous, more into it, more comfortable with it, etc. At minimum this will fulfill a long-time fantasy, and hopefully this will lead to more fun to come...

In all, this last 6-months of HWing has yielded an unbelievable amount of new sexual highs. This will hopefully be yet another one.
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a_unique_being
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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by a_unique_being » Tue Jun 10, 2014 11:30 am

Sounds very exciting!

Make sure you update on how it all pans out. Have fun!

Iamtheman
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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Iamtheman » Tue Jun 10, 2014 11:42 am

Samanthasman wrote:So... Fortunately we have no neighbors, and it will not be raining tonite. So I doubt I'll be arrested as a peeping tom ;)

People on OHW always advocate "baby steps" - well, this is a baby step for us. She does not want me to watch so we are going to take our first step with me looking though the window of a guess house.

Samantha also asked me what I wanted for Father's Day, and I said "To be in the room!". She is considering that for Sunday, if things go well today. For today we are trying a "baby step". If everyone has fun with it, it will open the doors to do more. If she hates it or is resentful, OK, experiment failed, we move on.

She is a little nervous about it - and I do understand that. I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do to make her feel less nervous, more into it, more comfortable with it, etc. At minimum this will fulfill a long-time fantasy, and hopefully this will lead to more fun to come...

In all, this last 6-months of HWing has yielded an unbelievable amount of new sexual highs. This will hopefully be yet another one.
Well, you should probably start thinking of (a LOT of) additional baby step milestones. Watching from the window tonight to sitting in the room on Sunday? Honestly, I don't see that happening without a ton of consternation and tantrums. If you've decided on the approach of leaving breadcrumbs that eventually lead to an MFM...you're going to need several loaves of bread with Samantha. Who knows, if you back off the "sitting in the room" on Sunday to another babyish step forward, you might get farther along to your actual goal.

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Wifesharing » Tue Jun 10, 2014 1:22 pm

I hope you enjoy this small token.

At this point I would not be okay with that, you wanted to be in the room watching to be involved, watching from a window is not really being more included, if this satisfies your desire then that is great but by now as long as this request has gone on I would be to upset to enjoy this tiny little bit.

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Samanthasman » Tue Jun 10, 2014 2:25 pm

Wifesharing wrote:I hope you enjoy this small token.

At this point I would not be okay with that, you wanted to be in the room watching to be involved, watching from a window is not really being more included, if this satisfies your desire then that is great but by now as long as this request has gone on I would be to upset to enjoy this tiny little bit.
WOW - I think you guys are being a little tough...

Since January 1st we've had dozens of rounds with multiple men, many hundreds of orgasms, 100 pictures, 4 full-length videos, and now our first "viewing". We'll, yes, it's not exactly an MFM, but I do feel like it's one hell of a lot better than a polk in the eye with a stick ;)

How about some cheers?!?!
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Wifesharing
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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by Wifesharing » Tue Jun 10, 2014 2:46 pm

Some cheers. I am happy for you I hope you enjoy it. I don't think I was being harsh, I just have a hard time cheering for something that seems much more like a poke in the eye then a victory. I do hope you enjoy it and it all works out for you, I want you to be happy. I think at least you are getting something.

I do not see reason for us to cheer it is not as if you getting what you asked for which was more inclusion. She even slipped in that Bill is not okay with it but she will do it. The I am done I am not done I am done well i will let my let you watch from the window just seems all a bit strange and not something to celebrate.

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Re: Samantha Getting Started

Unread post by WantMore » Tue Jun 10, 2014 3:38 pm

Hope you have a raincoat, lol! I think itd be pretty dam smokin hot to watch from outside in the rain.

Shes in a warm house being ravished by a guy she totally gets off on! You outside in the pouring rain watching. ..

Its a hot scenario! So, cheer cheer! I think it will be pretty dam hot in its own lil way!

Have fun!

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