A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

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MrsTruckstar
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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by MrsTruckstar » Fri Dec 30, 2016 2:55 am

Truckstar doesn't believe in NRE.

Posters, please remember this is a guide and any comments should be relevant to the guide, or start a new thread, thank you.
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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by ChasteHusband62 » Mon Jul 10, 2017 12:21 pm

I agree with the thing about the range of emotions you'll feel at that stage! My emotions were all over the place that afternoon in the lead up, as well as the hours she was away! It was like a hurricane inside my head! Things were all over the place. I'd be excited one moment, even have a hard-on, and in the next moment, I'd feel panic!! Like" "OYMYFUCKINGGOD! What HAVE I done?!!!" Back and forth it went. I went for a walk, to try and distract my mind, to "clear" my mind, but failed totally. It was the most exhilarating, and scary, and incredible experience I'd ever had! When my wife came home eventually (I saw the guy's car pulling up out front, and my wife kissing him good night! Then I watched her get out, and walk up to the front door; and I ran to bedroom so that she wouldn't think I'd been freaking out She walked in looking beat. Exhausted. Worn out. Her hair reeked of cigarette smoke (she doesn't smoke), she smelled like a bar room! Which is where she'd part of the evening I found out later. She headed for the shower, and when she came out, she hit the bed and was out like a light! I couldn't got to sleep, and so I sat up till almost dawn---watching porn on my lap-top, and eventually jerking off to relieve the long, pent-up sexual energy I'd been wrestling with for hours! In the morning, as we sipped coffee on the back porch, she started telling me about how things had gone. I was hooked! I definitely wanted her to do it again (which she did)!

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by couple_uk » Mon Aug 07, 2017 1:50 pm

ChasteHusband62 wrote:I agree with the thing about the range of emotions you'll feel at that stage! My emotions were all over the place that afternoon in the lead up, as well as the hours she was away! It was like a hurricane inside my head! Things were all over the place. ....... She walked in looking beat. Exhausted. Worn out. ...... eventually jerking off to relieve the long, pent-up sexual energy I'd been wrestling with for hours! In the morning, as we sipped coffee on the back porch, she started telling me about how things had gone. I was hooked! I definitely wanted her to do it again (which she did)!
I love your description of these scenes that some of us know so well. And, for me any way but I'm sure for others, it doesn't really change but stays as anxious and as exciting. Welcome and good luck
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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by FL_Cpl_4fun » Fri Dec 08, 2017 9:03 pm

Not really recommending this for any couple that hasn't done the MWM date enough times that it's old hat. This is like advanced hotwifing. First of all if you're a guy and you've never been on these dates, you don't know what's happening in the discussion and why guys win or lose. Therefore you're going to assume every guy basically wins which isn't true, because guys do all kinds of fails in a typical date. My girl only went solo after about 15-20 triad dates MWM and still I felt nervous about it the first few times. I reiterate, it's not a place to start but a place to end for the advanced.

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by Passion4sharingamy » Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:38 pm

Adults Only: We both have enjoyed reading other’s experiences on this thread about a shared wife’s first solo date with a man outside her marriage. Many of the comments sound similar to our history. In our case, it was only about 4 months after my first sharing experiences when my husband had been present. My first solo date happened on a layover at LAX in my FA job, staying at the house of a guy friend of mine while in the Santa Monica area of So. Cal. I even called my husband (J) before I went over to my friend’s house by taxi to make sure J was ok with me going through with it if the situation presented itself.

My friend (a film editor I met almost 5 months earlier at a film festival) knew I was married but that I had an open minded Stag type of husband (he had met J at the film festival also) who made it clear to my friend about our new alternative marriage arrangement. After dinner and using his hot tub together, it did eventually lead to going to his bedroom. Being alone in his house as a lover was more intense for me but also brought with it a mix of feelings because we both knew that it was only just for fun—nothing more. I called my husband about 2:30 am after I had spent the evening in bed with my friend, and I was impressed with how supportive J was about my decision to play alone sexually with my new friend, even seeming excited about my experience. It was that night that I knew I was better able to express my full sensual desires being alone with another sex partner and yet still enjoy a loving conversation with my husband afterwards about my shared experience. It felt natural to feel excited to share these new feelings with my husband after I flew home the next afternoon because I knew he was excited for my decision to try it. Most people would never understand how a HW marriage could work, but with a supportive and open minded, loving husband like mine, it does. Amy
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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by bobh618 » Tue Feb 12, 2019 2:57 am

Truckstar, I just found this thread and want to thank you for some very sound advice. My wife had her first Hotwife date this past Saturday and I was working. It was difficult to stay focused on the task at hand, while thinking about my wife and her friend... but I managed to do both. I agree that open communication throughout the hotwife lifestyle is vital. My mind was put at ease when I got her first text, telling me that she had arrived. It seemed like forever, but she also texted me to let me know when she was on the way home. (I was still at work...so it wasn't all That long!)
By far, the most important part...at least for the husband...is the conversation afterwards. I enjoyed hearing the details of their date. It didn't work as well as she'd hoped because he had a bit of performance anxiety, but she assured me that they were immediately comfortable together and that what sex there was, was enjoyable. They both want to give it another shot, & I'm totally on board with that!
By the way, this was our maiden voyage into the hotwife lifestyle...after nearly 20 years of talking about it together! She finally found a man who she felt she could be comfortable with...and decided to go for it!
Again, I thank you for your experience and willingness to share your knowledge with the rest of us. Our situations sound very similar and I look forward to reading more of your thoughts.

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by dickhurtz472 » Mon Mar 18, 2019 4:50 pm

great stuff. thank you Mrs.Truckstar.

pete
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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by 2wheel » Tue Mar 19, 2019 2:32 am

1st off let me say, she doesn't 'date', that denotes an emotional state rather than a sexual state.

Soon after we started in the lifestyle she did a few solo's. It created a lot of problems for us. This is about us and without my involvement it's about her. So now I am involved in EVERY encounter, it might be cleanup, participation as a 3-some, watching or just giving my approval for her to do a solo.

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by Hotwifecpl7 » Sun May 12, 2019 7:39 am

Great thread!! My gorgeous wife is about to become a Hotwife in exactly 4 days! I have a thread on the Hotwife forum on here.
So my wife had one date with her FB but just kissing. But now he is flying in town for 2 nights, she is spending the whole afternoon and evening solo with him, and then 2 day at our house where she plans to let him fuck her...
I am still hoping I will survive that long solo date Thursday to get to really enjoy Friday! Lol

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by mfm4bnc » Thu May 16, 2019 9:15 pm

I get the house so freaking clean when she is on a date, lol...

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by lovingher » Fri Sep 13, 2019 12:25 am

My wife has had very few solo dates. We agreed that I would always be there but this boundary got extended.
Her very first time was not solo. And her being without me present was very different for me (and for her, of course). Not being there caused me a more scary type of
Angst. As I helped her get ready it felt very erotic. But, as the time was getting closer, I began to feel afraid. I did not want to let her go. But, I somehow kept this to myself. Each time she was solo, I was totally devastated.
After the fifth time, I let her know of theses more hurtful feelings. I began to cry and she held me close. She already had something planned with a lover who did not want me present; and, she let me decide how this should be handled. She had been with him several time prior while I watched and he wanted to be alone with her this next tine. I told her to be with him alone as planned.
In the past, I had felt humiliation while we were with him, but in a very natural way. Out of all her lovers, I was felt more envy for him as a man and for his penis and balls; than for, anyone else who had been with my wife. My own penis looked like nothing compared to his. after I told my wife that things could remain as planned, my wife told me to suck her breasts while I imagine her and him making love without me. She nursed me as she thanked me for letting her and him be alone. As I sucked and kissed her breasts, she promised to tell me every detail, and whether, it was better with him, without my presence. She told me, that while she was with him, to imagine her getting pleasure and to think about his larger penis moving in and out of her vagina. She talked me thru better dealing with my feelings. As I sucked her vagina, she told me how proud she was of me. She told me that he would enjoy her even more without me. And that his extra enjoyment would give her more enjoyment. And she told me, that while home alone while they make love, to get enjoyment and pleasure from the pleasure she would be getting and from his pleasure. After I removed my mouth from her vagina and I kissed the inside of her thighs. And she told me to think of how he had spilled his sperm on that same thigh. Hearing this, I kissed and licked her thighs harder and harder. I then went back to her vagina and my wife asked me to imagine that his sperm was now deep inside. A few nights later, while she was at his place, I really missed her. And I jerked off again and again, as I thought of their pleasure. At 1:00 AM she told me by phone, that she’d staying All night, instead of leaving at 2:00 AM as we planned. She asked if I were okay with it and I told her I was. At 5:00 AM she again called, and told me, I could listen to them for a half hour. She said they had just napped together and were going to be making-out. I asked if they’d be having sex again and she said “maybe”. I begged her to let me listen till they were done. She was on the speaker phone. And he answered me by saying “okay but just agree that I can have her alone again”. And I did. I listened well. At first the kissing sounds were very naturally extra humiliating. Hearing other noises I asked what was going on. My wife told me that he was sucking her breasts and then said “just like you were the other night”. A little while later my wife said “please fuck me”. And I heard her moan and then say, “I love you inside me, so good”. And then all of a sudden I heard her say “please put it back in”. And, he said, “I want him to ask me to continue fucking you”; and I said, “WHAT?”, he then told me to ask him to keep fucking my wife. And he then told my wife, to tell me to beg him to fuck her. And she did. And, I felt like never before, I never felt such power coming from a lover of my wife; and, I said “please fuck my wife, please please make love to my wife, please fuck her”. And I listened to their love making. As I listened I walked to the hamper and took out her bras and panties. As I jerked off, I smelled her bras and panties. And I felt like my wife was actually getting fucked by him, right in front of me. As she was well fucked she told me how good he felt inside her. And I asked if he felt better than me inside her, and she said “YES, Much Better”.

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by hotsusan » Mon Sep 30, 2019 5:47 pm

very hot thread!

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by hotwifecp2000 » Sat Nov 23, 2019 7:46 am

We have done both, but for most of the experiences I was present. The solo sex dates are certainly challenging. Emotions run high while you know that at that moment your wife is sucking and fucking another man. But I noticed that she was much closer to me emotionally after the solo dates which was great. She has recently tried to convince me to just let go(I'm a little bit of a control freak lol) and be comfortable with the situation that really works for us as a couple..(she would like to go solo most of the time)I'm getting there

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by bradisalpha » Wed Jan 01, 2020 1:36 am

Solo does let both of your emotions flow higher.. even after being together, watching, etc, a solo date let’s everyone’s emotions flow higher.

When I read about the ones here that always have to be together, I think “what a shame”.. they have no idea what they are both missing !!

Just my thoughts from experience.

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by Discreetlynow » Fri Jan 03, 2020 3:12 pm

Great read! Well written! Agree with others the Posts from Jan 11, 2015 and Jan 13, 2015 should beReposted regularly.

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by gandhhotspot » Tue Apr 28, 2020 6:48 pm

I pray I can find when when my wife wants to talk to a woman who knows. I have opened the door and told her it is so important to me to see her with a lover. I am tiny and sex has been terrible last few years. She is far more sexual than me and I could never keep up with her. We both love each other a lot. That is not the problem. Love and sex are two different things. At some point during our sweet talk sessions I am going to suggest she say hello to a hot wife like you. When that day come I want to go looking for you.. Thank you so much.

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by FL_Cpl_4fun » Fri May 08, 2020 10:39 am

It’s a good guide. Solo dating is on a different level. When you’re present for the HW events, you feel involved, you are involved and it’s not really hardcore angst. Moving to solo dating, when she left to go to dinners and then stay in hotels with guys, I was at home alone and sleeping alone, it made me realize yeah I really truly am cuck in the truest sense. Or else I wouldn’t be here alone in the house, while she’s out in a hotel getting it and I don’t even know what hotel it is.

My lady prefers solo so I’ve had to get used to it, to the extent possible. She wants to move all her activities to solo, including overnights, and she gets a lot of dates so that got to be too much and we quit for awhile to regroup and level out. When we restart I’m sure she will have her way and be solo at least half the times. In our 5th year in this hobby now with starts and stops, it always tends to move toward more solo.

tunafish

Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by tunafish » Sun Sep 20, 2020 10:17 am

Truckstar and Mrs T

I can't tell you how helpful your various threads on new HW husbands and wives have been. Just this morning I read those various threads aloud to my wife including your experiences and tips all of which were devoured by the two of us.

At 3 today my wife L is meeting (likely for non sex ) with her soon to be first hw experience. The details are all in the thread below. The details are actually quite interesting because L made a direct hit on a friend J ( I know you said at one point somewhere no friends but it seems in this case to be the right thing for L) - he was blown away and of course the fact that she actually went through approaching with it was over the top insane wonderful for me. Your tips on new hw husbands was spot on - I/m taking everything you said to heart so I don't blow it.

I saw an eagerness and excitement in my wife that I've NEVER seen - NEVER - thank you so very much - even if this first candidate doesn't happen it gives me/us confidence to go forward - all those suggestions and comments meant so much to us - I do worry a bit that if it doesn't happen with J how and where we go from here is a challenge. She's not likely to want to go to a bar and pick some guy up. Thats just not her style though random things can happen though the percentages are pretty low. She's not comfortable with a Tinder type approach but she may get to be with time - its more fear of the idea that stops her. She's just not that fond of technology and the "new" way of meeting people. As you mention in your comments its a different game now, Your head has to be back to where it was when yo were dating -

My wife and I are on this amazing journey after 40 years of marriage. If you're interested in knowing our details you can see a recent thread I posted on the forum entitled viewtopic.php?f=5&t=59609 - "40 years of marriage its happening - its never too late"

I'll keep you posted on how things go from here - As an aside this entire journey has opened things up for us in terms of communication beyond my wildest imagination.

Steve

tunafish

Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by tunafish » Sun Sep 20, 2020 11:03 am

FL_Cpl_4fun wrote:
Fri May 08, 2020 10:39 am
It’s a good guide. Solo dating is on a different level. When you’re present for the HW events, you feel involved, you are involved and it’s not really hardcore angst. Moving to solo dating, when she left to go to dinners and then stay in hotels with guys, I was at home alone and sleeping alone, it made me realize yeah I really truly am cuck in the truest sense. Or else I wouldn’t be here alone in the house, while she’s out in a hotel getting it and I don’t even know what hotel it is.

My lady prefers solo so I’ve had to get used to it, to the extent possible. She wants to move all her activities to solo, including overnights, and she gets a lot of dates so that got to be too much and we quit for awhile to regroup and level out. When we restart I’m sure she will have her way and be solo at least half the times. In our 5th year in this hobby now with starts and stops, it always tends to move toward more solo.
We're very new in this lifestyle though I first told my wife of my desires of her having sex with other men almost 35 years ago. Up until now its been all fantasy play - ironically just in the past couple of weeks we've forward where my wife has a candidate in my mind and has actually approached him.

At any rate wife and I agree that solo is the right thing for us - I am not interested in watching though who knows that might change - and my wife said she's not comfortable with the idea of me watching - again its all unfolding and yes as you know so exciting - She's actually meeting him in a few hours today to see where it might go - I know she's ready its in his court - Thanks for your great response to the Truckstar thread

TomG

Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by TomG » Sun Sep 20, 2020 1:48 pm

tunafish wrote:
Sun Sep 20, 2020 11:03 am
FL_Cpl_4fun wrote:
Fri May 08, 2020 10:39 am
It’s a good guide. Solo dating is on a different level. When you’re present for the HW events, you feel involved, you are involved and it’s not really hardcore angst. Moving to solo dating, when she left to go to dinners and then stay in hotels with guys, I was at home alone and sleeping alone, it made me realize yeah I really truly am cuck in the truest sense. Or else I wouldn’t be here alone in the house, while she’s out in a hotel getting it and I don’t even know what hotel it is.

My lady prefers solo so I’ve had to get used to it, to the extent possible. She wants to move all her activities to solo, including overnights, and she gets a lot of dates so that got to be too much and we quit for awhile to regroup and level out. When we restart I’m sure she will have her way and be solo at least half the times. In our 5th year in this hobby now with starts and stops, it always tends to move toward more solo.
We're very new in this lifestyle though I first told my wife of my desires of her having sex with other men almost 35 years ago. Up until now its been all fantasy play - ironically just in the past couple of weeks we've forward where my wife has a candidate in my mind and has actually approached him.

At any rate wife and I agree that solo is the right thing for us - I am not interested in watching though who knows that might change - and my wife said she's not comfortable with the idea of me watching - again its all unfolding and yes as you know so exciting - She's actually meeting him in a few hours today to see where it might go - I know she's ready its in his court - Thanks for your great response to the Truckstar thread
Wishing you both the best, Tunafish. And yes, you're right; solo for her is good. She doesn't feel self-conscious about you being there, and she can always tell you all about it later when her hand is around your cock or you're inside her. That's some of the hottest sex ever.

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by spicecpl » Mon Nov 30, 2020 7:31 am

Thank you very much, we are going full HF now and while I desired it for so long it took time to get on the same page.
White cuck and asian hotwife

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by mamipapi79 » Wed Dec 23, 2020 4:05 am

My first experience is different than most people, I wrote about it here on the forum.I am about 8000 miles away.The emotions that I experience the most was anxiety before she left and horny while they were at the hotel. They tried to do a life cam with me, but the connection was not good so they sent videos. I did not experience jealousy ,but I could not express anger because it was my idea, I was the master planner :P.We always do everything backward. This is our first HW ever and neither us have any regret about it. we are looking forward for many more. I think for us what help us was our communication and the amount of trust we have for each other.
"A relationship without trust is like a cellphone with no service, all you can do is to play game."

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by Loserpaul » Fri May 14, 2021 5:35 am

Although I have been my GF's cuck for a few years now, with lockdown and covid she has not been seeing other guys too often. Since the new year, when the UK went into full lockdown, she has been very careful about it. Before covid she occasionally had a regular bull but mostly preferred to sleep around. Over the past year or so she has limited herself (especially during lockdowns) to just a couple of semi-regulars but in recent months she's just seen the one guy three times (and twice at his place). So the last time I was involved in any way was nearly three months ago, which seems like a lifetime ago.

Anyway, she's just told me she's in touch with a new guy online (who is apparently "really fit") whom she intends to fuck the weekend after this one coming. As it will be their first time, I will be banished to the spare room for the night. I will have to cook their dinner for them before he arrives and then I will be confined to bed for the rest of the night. I will probably be able to hear them laughing and talking in the lounge/dining room if they are loud enough though. Best of all, I will certainly be able to hear them fucking in the bedroom next door! Then, as she herself told me last night 'you can masturbate to your heart's content, like the pathetic, frustrated, loser you are.' That will be the first time I will be able listen to her fucking another guy in a while, so in a way it will almost feel like the first time all over again!

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Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by mwm330 » Sat Apr 30, 2022 3:06 am

Truckstar wrote:
Sun Jan 11, 2015 6:11 am
I have to make assumptions here, this is a guide, so.

You are pretty new to this lifestyle and so is she and she has decided with your encouragement or insistence that she will be having a solo sex date with another man (or couple but we will stick with man).

Preamble -
You are cool with it, it is new to you and you are her back up guy, 'wing person' for want of a better word.

HWing myths. HWing will be a very unlikely cure to a dying marriage. Do not push her there as an excuse for you to get some pussy. That is swinging not HWing. There is a book that goes into deep depths by Cody on this site, if you need some depth.

HWing as a compromise to cheating can work but she will have to work hard to regain your trust. So honesty is the best platform.

You will be the one wanting this under normal circumstances, however once her toe touches that forbidden pond, be aware for a sea change in her sexuality and personality. She will very soon become the leader of this. That often hurts the alpha male. Often she gets into this for the love of you. Please remember that.

Other points
It is best if she chooses her FBs and not you, because she is the one that is likely to want to fuck them. You are not going to be the best one to find suitable people for her, you will often choose guys that are the total opposite of you or a clone of you. Leave it to her. People are complex, and every person will have his or her own ideas and desires and needs in a relationship. Trying to force a wife to choose a guy she does not fancy is a route to doom in a box—for example, trying to say. Instead, treat your wife's adventures in a way that respects what they are. Give each FB the space they need; she is having sex with them not a full life relationship, she not looking for a replacement hubby!

Always listen to what she is telling you she wants out of a FB, instead of trying to force it to be something specific. Focus on the end goal, you and her want her to fuck another guy and come home to you.


You will go through many emotions doing the early days and sometimes during the one date.
In no particular order
Euphoria,
Envy and jealousy
Feeling left out
Excitement
Pride
Love
Anger
Anxiety
Bewilderment
And many more

This is quite natural. She knows though and so that you that in the 'shop standard' version of HWing there must be something in it for her and you. If there is not, then you are doing it wrong. Do understand that your needs have nothing directly to do with your partner’s other partner. It can be helpful to ask yourself “what do I want from this?” rather than “Am I getting the same things as my wife and her FB, am I getting as much?” It is bad to keep score. If it were a competition which it certainly is not. Women will beat men on score every time, they are built for sex and do not require erections to have it. OK other peoples erections not their own.

Not everyone has the same needs, and happiness is found more easily in having your needs met than in having the same things as the people around you. I think the goal of a HWing for the hubby should be in seeking to have your relationship needs met in a way that’s fulfilling, not in achieving parity with her.

Consider the things you need, rather than what you think your Wife's FBs are getting. Being happy is not a competition! Going back to the idea of keeping score, rather than saying “He took you to dinner three times last month and I only got to take you once,” it’s often more productive to say “I would like to take you to dinner more often.”

Do ask for what you need. It may seem obvious, but if you don’t ask for what you need, you can’t expect to get the things you need. If you have a need that you feel is not being met by your wife, say so. Don’t assume that she knows; don’t start with the idea that if she “really” loved you, she would just be able to tell without you saying anything; and don’t assume that if she really loved you, she would already know what you need.

If you discover that your needs aren’t being met, talk to her about it! Straight away, do not allow it to fester.
Your needs are important, and even if you both initially believe they are irrational, they are still a part of who you are. Of course, you can’t automatically assume that you will have all your needs met at all times but it’s far easier for your wife to meet a need if she knows what the fuck it is.

So Preparation
What do you do whilst she is getting ready for her date?
Be supportive and complimentary. We are talking in the hours before. Don't bombard her with lots of demands for pictures and texts to be sent every ten minutes. She is shitting a brick too. Some guys like to help her get ready, others go for a run or do something to clear their mind. If you are driving her and being her 'waiting in the lobby man' do not drink or do drugs and try to stay out of sight during her initial hook up.

Next tip.
She sets off for a date that is M&G non sexual.
well writen intro. every newguy should take note.

CuriousHubs2
Prepubescent
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2022 8:54 am

Re: A guide for the New HW Husband - Her First Solo Date

Unread post by CuriousHubs2 » Mon Dec 05, 2022 6:07 pm

Very informative and very well written! Thanks!

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