Discovering I might want to share

[mrocket]

I first discovered that I was turned on by the thought of my wife being with another guy a few years back. We were at a nude beach in Hawaii, and just about to leave when a couple arrived and took a spot about 20 feet away from us. My wife, Sally, stood up and was putting on her clothes. At the time she was shaved, very tan, and looking good with her DD breasts. I looked over and saw the guy of the couple who had just arrived (his wife had immediately jumped in the water) staring at my wife. Not only that, but he had a huge, long (9 inch?) hardon as he looked at her. I glared at him, but he didn't even notice he was so transfixed by my naked wife (she had no idea he was staring). Finally, he saw my disapproval, laid down on his stomach and turned away. Well, that image burned into my mind, and I discovered it was very arousing to me. In fact I wrote up a long fantasy about our getting together with that couple and watching that long cock impale and come all over my wife. I have to admit I frequently use this fantasy when I masturbate. My wife, I should add, loves to see big cocks on the beach. I'm a bit above average, but she always comments on the truly big ones. I encourage her and point them out to her, as she does big breasted women to me. It's our little game.

Anyway, the same beach, a few years later. We are sitting on our towels and a guy sits down next to my wife. We get to chatting and it turns out he lives near us in California. At some point I get warm and go jump in the ocean to cool off. I look back at the beach and see that the guy is sharing a joint with my wife. She's laying on her side, facing him, her huge hanging breasts and shaved pussy there for him to see close up. Even though I am in the ocean, I start to get hard. I have to look away just to get my erection to go down. After it does, I move to the side, get out of the water and circle back around them so I can watch them without being observed. They are just talking, but I happen to know that pot makes my wife extremely horny. I watch them for a while; until my wife puts on a shirt. Funny thing is the very next day we go to the beach, and it's too windy so we leave early, on the way out of the parking lot we run into her pot smoking friend from the day before. And the first thing he does it hand her a joint he rolled just for her. I wish I could think more quickly on my feet, because she really liked him, and we should have either gone back to the beach with him or invited him back to our condo. I've had many a fantasy of him getting my wife stoned and fucking her from behind right in front of me.

I should add that I am not the cockold type. I am strong, above average in size, and an incredible lover, judging by how often I can make my wife orgasm. My desire to see her fucked is more about wanting to see her pleasured beyond her wildest dreams. That, and the fact that she has only been with 4 different men in her life; I've been with over 40 women, so I kind of owe it to her, so to speak.

I have spoken to my wife about sharing her. At first she said she was against it, but later on told me that I should be careful about what I wish for. That she is the type of woman who will only fuck somebody she is in love with. So, if she ever does fuck another guy, she will be involved emotionally and I/we will be in trouble. That kind of cooled my jets. Anybody else have to deal with that issue?

[zorro]

I think your wife is just throwing the cultural expectation at you that she is supposed to love a man she fucks. You need to explain she doesn't have to love a man or marry him just because she fucks him. She is testing you to see if you share in the cultural stereotyped beliefs or if you have an independent mind. If you don't speak your mind, she will assume you truly believe in the straight and narrow. I assume you really don't, but she needs to hear you express your position. Just because she voices what she does need not mean she even believes it. She may just need a countervoice.

[cthubby]

Ctwifey has said something like that but not meaning "in love with". Moreso she has to have some sort of emotional connection with whoever she decides to bed. Wouldn't be good for her if it didn't. I think mebbe thats what yours means. I wouldn't take it as "love" but while women are easily capable of loving more then one guy at once, only one is the "main" guy.

[hotwifeluvr]

My wife said something like that to me too, and I know what you mean about it cooling the jets. But in time, she revealed that it's a different sort of "love" feeling. She means she couldn't just fuck someone to be fucking, the way a lot of men can. She has to feel attracted to him intellectually, feel some sort of respect for him, that sort of thing. I really think it's a men/women being different thing more than anything. When I think about it, I really wouldn't want her to just spread her legs and behave like a slut. I know that some are into that, and no disrespect intended there. Just not for me. For me, it's exciting that she would be "into it", enjoying getting pleasured by him completely, not just having her pussy pounded.

I think it deserves fleshing out though. I agree with the above comment that she is likely just playing into the cultural expectation in some way, and also that as a woman, she would need to feel an attraction to him on more than just a physical level for it to be really satisfying. Still. you're talking about your marriage, and it's always a great idea to thoroughly discuss something like that. Frankly, if she'd leave you because of a fuck, I don't think she'd be your wife anyway, right? Still, communication is a good idea, and it will reinforce for her that your heart is hers and that it's not about wanting to degrade her or pimp her out.

[mrocket]

Yeah, the more I think about it, what she is saying is that she'd really have to like the guy in more than a sexual way. And I guess the danger is there that if she really likes the guy, and the sex, and the novelty, then there is the possibility that she would get emotionally attached. Maybe that is part of the thrill of hotwifing; the possibility of losing it all. Sort of like a gambler's high. More to think about, for sure...