A Cuckold's Diary, Chapter 47: "I Love You, and I Know..."

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Paul_Pines
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A Cuckold's Diary, Chapter 47: "I Love You, and I Know..."

Unread post by Paul_Pines » Thu Mar 02, 2017 7:04 pm

A Cuckold’s Diary
Chapter 47 - “I Love You, and I Know…”

A Love Story in Two Acts

February 2017

NOTE: This story involves cuckolding, infidelity, humiliation, heavy-duty submission, gratitude and LOVE. If you’re not into all of these, or if you think they cannot exist together, you might want to click elsewhere. Or read on and perhaps learn something new.

OVERTURE

My wife has changed, and so have I. The change has come gradually, but it came into focus last November.

A brief recap: Sally agreed to try cuckolding me in 1998. She found a wonderful lover, Ted, whom she saw for several years. They stopped on very good terms, and in 2005 they got together again. The difference was that this time, SHE took the initiative in contacting him and, to my absolute shock, in telling him she wanted to fuck him again. And for the first time, she asked me if I could handle NOT being in the room with them all the time, as she wanted her dates to be about THEM, not about me. With awe and a massive hardon, I said I thought I could handle it.

Their dates have been amazing. The sex kept getting better and better, according to reports from both of them and, of course, from my sitting outside their bedroom door and listening. Early on in this new phase I discovered that I could not handle being ignored for their entire date, so with some experimentation and with a good attitude from all three of us, we worked out an arrangement: They spend most of the time together, without me, but they always find several opportunities to call me in for a little while. I’ll come back to that in a minute.

In August 2006, during one of our intimate conversations at home in which I asked her to talk about how much better he is in bed than I am, I asked her if what she was saying was really true: was he THAT much better? Was I THAT bad at it? Yes, and yes, she said, as I furiously stroked my penis. I asked her why, if it’s true, she still fucks me. She said she felt obligated to give that to me, as her husband. She said she really does like making me feel good, even though that particular activity was only pleasurable for me. I came.

The next night I asked her if she would like to stop having sex with me altogether. She reacted very sharply, saying NO, she did not feel that was right to do that to me. I asked if it would be different if she knew I thought it was an exciting thing to do. She looked at me differently than I’ve ever seen her look at me, and said she’d have to think about it.

To end the conversation, I made an offer. I suggested we would have sex any time she wanted to, but I would never ask. She said that worked for her.

Fast forward to November 20th of that year. We had a day off together, a wonderful dinner, and we were in bed. The past three months had been filled with family, work, more work and even three dates with Ted, and through it all she never said she wanted to have sex with me. Even this night, I half-read the newspaper and did everything I could to indicate that while I wasn’t ASKING for sex, I sure would be open to it.

Nothing. Not the silent treatment, nothing aggressive at all; Sally talked about everything going on in life, what was on TV, and every subject people would normally talk about if they weren’t horny as hell and hoping to get laid.

I started to get angry, but then a realization struck me: she was answering my question of three months earlier.

I turned to her, hugged her tightly, kissed her cheek and told her I loved her. She cuddled into me and said she loved me, too.

“NOW are you ready to say that you don’t want sex with me anymore?” I asked softly.

She paused, clearly calculating how long it had been since our conversation last summer. But when she spoke, her answer surprised me.

“NO!” she declared, way louder than I thought necessary. Had I read her so wrong?

“I still want to have sex with you every year on our anniversary,” she said with incredible sincerity in her voice and in her eyes.

Yeah, I came when she said that.

And so it has been. Sally and Ted have had nearly 100 dates in the past 10 years, and I have been allowed to put my penis in my wife exactly ten times. (I can’t even say I fuck her, because she really doesn’t enjoy any part of it other than giving me this exquisite pleasure – once a year!)

And now we come to November 2016.

Sally and Ted had a date one week before our 10th anniversary – the anniversary of our stopping sex. Of course I made all the arrangements, because that is one of my roles as a cuckold. I will say, everything was perfect for them…

ACT I

After their usual conversation and making out when Ted arrived, my wife and her lover got up from the couch and went to bed together. (This hotel doesn’t have separate rooms for their suites, but they have kitchen alcoves which are out of the line of sight of the bed. “My place” during their dates is on a chair in the alcove, far enough back that I cannot see anything. As soon as they “send me to my room” I take off my pants and start masturbating. I don’t stop until their date is over.) I hear clothing sounds: belt buckle, zipper, the sound of pants, shirt, negligee all slipping off skin. I hear the mattress compress under their bodies. Then Ted groans. He really, REALLY groans. Again and again.

She is sucking his cock. I can’t see, but the sounds paint a perfectly clear image in my mind.

She says, “Paul, come here.”

I jump to my feet and walk into the main room (still masturbating). Approaching from the foot of the bed I see Ted lying on his back, naked, with his feet toward me and his head propped up on a pillow. Sally was naked, too, lying perpendicular to him on the bed. With her mouth on his cock. More accurately, with his cock IN her mouth.

I grunted as I tried to see, walk and masturbate at the same time. I stood beside the bed and shook violently as I watched my wife suck her lover’s cock. Ted laughed as he saw my reaction and he taunted, “That’s YOUR WIFE doing that.” When he spoke I instinctively looked at him and for a brief moment I saw me as he saw me: standing there, playing with my penis as my wife gave him an incredible blowjob. I was so ashamed… and so excited.

I looked back at Sally’s face and our eyes met: she looked into my soul as she slid her lips back and forth, her tongue licking everywhere. Her eyes said something which I could only understand later, but even then I got the gist of it. The full message was, “This is real. This is me, sucking Ted’s cock. I want you to see me doing it and I want you to hear Ted laughing at you. And most of all… I love you.”

I masturbated so hard I nearly fell down. She slipped her mouth off Ted and said, “That’s enough. I just wanted you to see.”

The last thing I saw was my wife and her lover looking at me. He from the pillow at the top of the bed, she from her resting place on his hip. I jerked again and said, “Of course. Thank you. Thank you both.” I can’t even imagine how I looked and sounded as I walked back to the alcove; I know it was a combination of near-orgasmic grunts, body-wracking spasms and I think a few more sputtered thank-yous.

A few days later, when we were “processing” the date together, I asked Sally why she called me in when she did. She said, “I know you need to see. I wanted you to see me giving myself completely to another man, because I know you need to see.”

Act I, Scene (actually, unseen) 2

I heard them making love as I took my seat in the alcove. I heard Ted fuck my wife until he cried out as he came in her, and I heard him make love to her for a surprisingly short time before she orgasmed in his arms. Afterward they cuddled together, at one point calling me in to bring Sally a bottle of water. They allowed me to watch for a few minutes as they kissed, caressed and held each other, then told me to leave. Again, I thanked them both for allowing me to see.

After an extended period of listening to their lips smack as they kissed each other (Where? What body parts were receiving those kisses?), I heard Sally’s vibrator start up. It took longer this time, and I marveled at how incredibly passionate and patient Ted is with his girlfriend/my wife. He brought her to a roaring climax, and as soon as she started breathing again I heard them moving around on the bed.

Ted groaned, Sally gasped. They were fucking.

I listened to them fucking. I heard grunts and ooooohs and every variety of sounds that men and women make when they are having sex. I even heard the slurping sound of Ted’s cock going in and out of Sally’s pussy!

Suddenly Ted spoke loudly, for me to hear. He said, “She’s VERY wet.”

(We all know she never gets – or rather, got - wet for me. Never. This stings and excites…)

“Thank you for telling me that,” I grunt out.

“And she’s riding my cock,” he added. ”Slow, rocking back and forth…”

I groaned loudly.

“…and I’m playing with these beautiful tits.”

My wife’s lover – the Alpha Male, the Real Man she fucks – just told me that she is fucking him and he is playing with her tits. If you are not a cuckold, this does not make any sense. But I AM a cuckold, and it was so humiliating and exciting that I nearly lost it. But I didn’t answer, because Ted started moaning. I heard Sally moving faster on him, and his moans turned into whimpers.

“Oh, that’s it. That’s it that’s it THAT’S IT. THAT’S IT. AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!”

I heard him cum. I heard each time his muscles contracted, each time he ejaculated. Then, while he was still feeling the aftershocks he gasped out, “Thank you, baby. Thank you.” And I heard them kiss.

They didn’t move after that, which gave me a lot of time to meditate on what had just happened. It was so hard to keep from cumming as I realized that I just heard my wife fuck HIM. SHE got on top of him as soon as she came, so he could feel her aftershocks with his cock inside her pussy. SHE “rode him,” as he put it. She offered her tits for him to enjoy as she fucked him. And she drew his orgasm out of him – his second in under 30 minutes. I heard HER make HIM cum. It sounded so good, so… REAL, that I nearly passed out from the excitement.

When I woke her a half-hour after he left, her first question was, “Are you okay?” I said I was MORE than okay, and I thanked her for cuckolding me. She looked at me with the most beautiful smile and said, “Oh, it was my pleasure. Take me home now?” Driving home, I asked her to share her reactions to her date. She said, “It was organic. As well as orgasmic. He makes me feel soft and beautiful. I love the way he fucks me.”

I did not drive into a tree at that moment, which was amazing considering how hard my whole body shook when she said that to me. I wrote the words down as soon as we got home – not that there is a chance in the world that I will ever forget them. We both knew she was telling the truth, and we both knew that she would not use any of those words to describe sex with me. I was ashamed and excited, and she knew it. And liked it.

Those words were the entry into the conversation a few nights later, which I wrote about above. The one where she said “I know you need to see.” And that was the background for November 20, 2016.

We had to be at a fancy dinner party that evening. We liked a lot of the people so it was a fine evening, made even finer by the occasional inclusion of the word “organic” in Sally’s conversations with other guests. Also the “I love you” hand signal, minus the thumb; check it out if you don’t get it. She wanted to be clear without being obvious, and she succeeded.

On the way home, after driving through some nasty weather, my surprises-never-end wife said, completely out of the blue, “We made a really good decision 10 years ago. We’ve grown so much closer. I love what we are, and I love what we do.”

I don’t think a day has gone by since then when I have not thanked her for saying that. For loving me. For ACCEPTING me. To all those brave, anonymous trolls who write to tell me that my wife is a bitch and I should dump her immediately, I wish you just one day of the feeling that comes with a woman knowing you and loving you exactly the way you are. You would sing a different song, and I would love to hear it.

INTERLUDE

As we got near their most recent date in February, I had the opportunity to have a text conversation with Ted. I told him how much she was looking forward to seeing him again, which I know he loves to hear. I also know he enjoys being the dominant male in our conversations, too. (All his words are copied directly from our chat…)

(I asked if there was anything I could do to help them have a wonderful time together.)

> Bringing her is all I need from you.

(I told him she was getting ready for him.) 

>I sure hope so. My cock needs the attention she knows how to give. And I can't wait to feel and hear my cock sliding in and out of her very wet pussy

>I love fucking my girlfriend. Face it, your woman loves sex. Too bad you couldn't give it to her. 

(At this point I asked him if cuckolding me was something his dominant nature enjoyed.)

>Wow. Interesting question. I think the dominant part of me is satisfied by me fucking your wife and you being what you are. The very fact that I am the so-called bull is stroking the dominant part of me. No pun intended

(Being a glutton for punishment, and loving every minute of it, I pushed… I asked if he got off on seeing me standing there, masturbating as he fucks my wife.)

>No, seeing you or having you in our presence has nothing to do with it. The mere fact that she is fucking me and not you is where it's at. 

(Then came the coup de grace. I had a moment where I saw myself from his perspective. I said I was embarrassed having this conversation and even more embarrassed that it turned me on.)

>You should be embarrassed and ashamed. No real man would ever do what you do. But keep on doing it because I love fucking your wife.

I didn’t answer. I stared at that text for a very, very long time as I thought about what my wife’s lover just said to me. I realized he knows, too.

He knows she loves me. He has no doubt about that, and he both respects and admires our relationship. He also knows that I am a cuckold, Sally is a cuckoldress and he is the one and only man whom she wants inside her. And he knows that, as Sally so lovingly put it, sometimes I need to see. His texts, blunt to the point of ridicule, were exactly what I needed him to show me.

I started thinking: She knows. He knows. I don’t need to worry anymore about whether they understand what I need from this relationship because they get it – and they give it! What if I take a different approach and simply do my best to make things perfect for them? Could I be a perfect cuckold? Would I be willing to put my desire to choreograph everything on hold and allow them to have the date they want together? I decided to try: not only would I do whatever I could for them, but I also would not spend time worrying about whether they were spending enough time thinking about me. I was going to let go and BE a cuckold.

When Sally asked me (as she often does) what particular thing I wanted to happen on their date, I gave an answer I haven’t ever given before. “I want you to have a great time with your lover. I want to do anything I can to help make your date perfect, and I hope that includes leaving the two of you alone together for most of it. I want you to have a wonderful time cuckolding me, and if you do, I’ll be VERY happy.”

The next day, I repeated these words to Ted. He thanked me and said he really appreciated how I have grown into my cuckold role. He said he had seen me go from needing to control every minute of their dates to understanding that the reason for their dates was “for us to use the time to make a connection, not to play out your sexual fantasies.”

I was surprised and pleased by his response. I asked if he really had seen me grow in this way, and he said absolutely, yes. The perverse, humiliating pleasure I got from being complimented on my submissiveness by my wife’s lover was indescribable, and it helped support me in my decision to make this all about them.

Wow, I thought: I really have changed!

ACT II

I worked to focus on them as we drove to the hotel the evening before their date. In the car Sally and I talked about our day, listened to music and had a nice time together. In earlier times I would have been upset that the conversation never turned to The Coming Event, but this time I simply enjoyed my wife’s company. I knew where we were going and what she was going to do, so I felt a sense of purpose in making it all about her. And tomorrow, all about them.

In our hotel room that night, Sally was commanding but not cartoonish. She didn’t say “please” when she told me where to lay out her clothes, what I could get for her and how I was to put moisturizing cream on her legs so they would be soft for Ted. But unlike the caricatures in most commercial porn, Sally ordered me around with LOVE. She gave me what I needed to prepare for their date, and hey – she didn’t come out of the deal that badly, either!

I will not describe their entire date, but I do want to talk about two gifts my wife gave me – and, as I think about it, Ted.

They banished me to my alcove when they got up to go to bed. Sally did not offer me my traditional “cuckold’s kiss,” and to my surprise I realized I was excited that she was so focused on him that she forgot about me.

“I did something right,” I said to myself as I heard them kiss, then kiss-and-undress, then kiss-and-touch each other’s bodies.

Ted made love to his girlfriend and brought her to an orgasm that shook the floor where I was sitting. He sounded so happy, so excited to share that with her, and it made me realize even more how much better he is at sex than I am. Or was.

An instant after Sally’s cries of pleasure subsided into rhythmic gasps, I heard their bodies move on the bed. Then Sally sucked in her breath: the sound she makes when his cock enters her. He started panting “oh, oh, oh, oh…” and they spoke to each other as they fucked. I couldn’t make out the words, but it didn’t matter: THEY could hear, and that was enough.

“Paul, come in,” Sally called. It took me a second to realize it wasn’t just wishful thinking; she really said that! I jumped to my feet and started into the bedroom, erection firmly in hand. Approaching from the foot of the bed I saw Ted kneeling upright on the bed, between Sally’s splayed legs. I saw her feet, her calves and part of her thighs; the rest of her body was blocked by her naked lover, who was rocking his hips back and forth as he fucked her.

I had not taken more than three steps into the room when Ted called out, “Not now, Paul.”

“What??” was the only thing I could think to say.

“NOT NOW!” he said, with way more authority than I had ever heard from him.

WTF? MY WIFE said I could come in to watch her get fucked, and HE was saying no? Who does he think he is?

Right. He’s her lover. He’s the one she wants inside her. He is the Alpha male to her. And… to me.

The words that came out of my mouth were, “I’m sorry.” I don’t know what I was sorry for, since I hadn’t done anything wrong, but it felt like the right thing to say. To both of them. I turned and walked back to my alcove to the rhythmic sounds of Ted fucking my wife.

I sat down in my chair and shook uncontrollably as I replayed the last minute over and over in my mind. It wasn’t just (??!!) that Ted told me to leave the room because it wasn’t the right time for me to distract them from fucking. It was also that Sally didn’t argue with him. In fact, did I hear a little whimper from her when he dismissed me?

Then I wondered: when I said I wanted to do everything I could to serve them on their date, did I give them permission – and even encouragement - to treat me like that?

Another shudder of shame and excitement tore through me. That’s EXACTLY what I did. By telling each of them that my only desire was to serve them while they made love, I made it clear that I don’t think of myself as a real man, and they shouldn’t either. As Ted’s grunts grew louder and faster I thought to myself, “It worked.” Then Ted came. Hard. In my wife. In private, without the distraction of her cuckold husband leering at them.

A few minutes later they called me in. We spent about 10 minutes talking, in what was probably the most humiliating circumstance I can imagine. They were lying in bed together; Sally on her back, Ted on his side facing her. And kissing her. And caressing her breasts. Gently squeezing her nipples. And rubbing his pelvis against her hip. Naked. No covers over them.

I was standing beside the bed, masturbating as I looked at them and we talked.

Ted told me how hard Sally came, and how fast. I knew that, of course, and he knew that I knew. He was saying it to humiliate me, which I know because when he finished telling me and I jerked off so hard I nearly fell down, he laughed at me. And squeezed Sally’s nipple again.

Then he remembered that our anniversary is coming up, which led to a several-minute conversation between them about how unpleasant sex is with me and how unfathomably bad I am at it, but how she really does want to give it to me every year on that special day. Ted suggested she just grit her teeth and know it will be over soon, and she won’t have to go through it again for another year. Sally smiled at me and said, “I’ll think of England.”

I nearly came, and they both laughed. Which made me nearly cum again…

I knew they would tell me to leave soon, and I was prepared. Sally opened her mouth, but instead of speaking she mouthed, “I love you.” Then in a full voice she said, “It’s time for you to leave us alone.”

I again stuttered my thanks to both of them and hobbled away, jerking off madly as I walked.

They made love again, without an audience. Years ago, Ted said that Sally’s orgasms are the most intimate gift she gives him; I have to believe him, as it has always been her decision to send me away when she is going to cum. So all I can say is that they took their time, Sally’s excitement built slowly but powerfully, and yes, I sat and played with myself as I heard her cum – hard – in his arms.

Almost instantly, he started panting. I guessed Sally was sucking his cock, and soon enough the sound of her slurping kisses verified my guess. Ted amazes me – he’s older than I am, yet he is often good for two orgasms in less than half an hour. I don’t think I could do that when I was 21.

Panting turned to whimpers. Actual whimpers, which are something I don’t often hear from Ted. “Oh yes,” “That’s it,” “Oh, Sally…” and other, unintelligible sounds came from him about an octave above his normal voice. There had been no pause; I didn’t hear Sally move to a fucking position. And the wet kisses continued. How far would my wife be able to bring her lover with her mouth?

The blowjob confirmed again what I realized last time: she wants this. SHE WANTS THIS. She is sucking his cock, giving him what sounds like indescribable pleasure, and I can hear how much she wants this in her lover’s cries. He was babbling to her, now alternating between whimpering and grunting. Then my wife made her lover cum in her mouth. It sounded like she was drawing his orgasm out of the depths of his soul; he was loud, but more than loud, he was in ecstasy. I saw none of it, even though I desperately wanted to see him flopping around on the bed as he came. But I knew that was not why we were here. We were here for THEM… for them to do this, to connect. I had to stop touching myself to keep from losing it as I listened to Ted cum in Sally’s mouth.

When his cries faded into irregular gasps, Sally called me in. I hesitated, wondering if Ted would veto her invitation again, but I heard nothing from him other than the sounds of a man who has just cum. I walked into the room and my image of what had happened was verified: Ted was lying on his back, Sally was lying across his hips, and his still-hard cock was deep in my wife’s mouth. She was sucking him gently, respecting how sensitive he was after cumming but wanting to make sure she gave him every bit of pleasure possible. She didn’t stop when I approached the bed, but she looked at me and said, “I made him cum like this.”

She opened her mouth wide, and took his whole cock into it again. Ted shook and gasped as I stood there, penis in hand, in awe of the sight before me. My wife was naked, in bed with her lover, and her lips and tongue were caressing the last of his cum out of his cock. She showed no guilt, no remorse: instead, she showed me how happy she was to be in bed with him and how happy she was to show me what she had done.

They let me watch for a while, even when Sally kissed her way up his body and they fell into each other’s arms. They held each other, kissed deeply and spoke lovingly to each other, completely unconcerned with my presence. I did my best to masturbate silently, not wanting to distract them and grateful to both of them for letting me see.

EPILOGUE

That night, at home in bed, as I masturbated in front of her and re-lived the day’s events, I found the courage to ask Sally what might have been the most difficult question I’ve ever asked her. I said, “I need to know this, because I don’t understand. You saw me today – you saw the way I acted, the way I behaved. You saw me play with myself while you FUCKED another man. Not only didn’t I stop him, but I got hard when it happened.

“How can you love me?”

She took a minute to respond, and it was the longest minute of my life. Did I go too far? Did I ask the one question she couldn’t find an answer for? My erection wilted, even after not cumming for three days and spending the entire morning in the edge.

She had been sitting opposite me on our bed, watching me jerk off. At the end of that Longest Minute she reached over and gently caressed my calf. Then she said, “I LOVE you. And I know you need to be humiliated. I’m okay with that. I’m okay with ALL of that.”

I looked into her eyes and saw love and acceptance. My head spun, my cock got hard in an instant, and I was overwhelmed with my love for this woman – my wife, my friend, my partner, my teacher, my cuckoldress.

Without missing a beat, she started to humiliate me. She talked about her lover: how good he is in bed, how much she loves his touch. Then she talked about me: how bad I am in bed and how pathetic I look when I stand by the bed and watch her make love to a real man.

I came.

And I have not stopped thanking her ever since.


Sincerely,

Cuckold Paul

wpaman
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Re: A Cuckold's Diary, Chapter 47: "I Love You, and I Know..."

Unread post by wpaman » Thu Mar 02, 2017 7:32 pm

From your story, per Ted;s text: "You should be embarrassed and ashamed. No real man would ever do what you do"

OZCPL
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Re: A Cuckold's Diary, Chapter 47: "I Love You, and I Know..."

Unread post by OZCPL » Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:47 pm

wpaman
If you read the two lines immediately below February 2017 at the top of the page I can only assume you are playing to his need for humiliation.

Paul thanks for a good story.

CuckPride

Re: A Cuckold's Diary, Chapter 47: "I Love You, and I Know..."

Unread post by CuckPride » Sat Mar 04, 2017 2:56 pm

It's great to see that you're posting again Paul. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your latest diary entry and look forward to chapter 48.

minuteboy
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Re: A Cuckold's Diary, Chapter 47: "I Love You, and I Know..."

Unread post by minuteboy » Sat Mar 04, 2017 3:47 pm

As always, you do an excellent job of sharing your experiences. Thank you, Paul.

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Re: A Cuckold's Diary, Chapter 47: "I Love You, and I Know..."

Unread post by Cuck4Life » Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:06 am

Great stuff Paul. Thanks for sharing.

All4Jenna
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Re: A Cuckold's Diary, Chapter 47: "I Love You, and I Know..."

Unread post by All4Jenna » Mon Mar 06, 2017 10:31 am

Thanks Cuckold Paul. You are sort of the patron saint for us cuckolds I hope you realize and I always enjoy your honestly and penchant for relating a great hot story from real life.

EDAS
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Re: A Cuckold's Diary, Chapter 47: "I Love You, and I Know..."

Unread post by EDAS » Sat Dec 15, 2018 6:08 pm

Absolutely great. A great telling. Thanks!

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Re: A Cuckold's Diary, Chapter 47: "I Love You, and I Know..."

Unread post by chet6115 » Thu Dec 28, 2023 8:16 pm

I have to say that this was an amazing story to read. You went into so much detail. There are similarities that we share with our wives and there are things that I have suggest to my wife to expand upon. You live an amazing life. One cuck to another!😊

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Re: A Cuckold's Diary, Chapter 47: "I Love You, and I Know..."

Unread post by NSEW1 » Fri Dec 29, 2023 5:58 pm

Best story ever!

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