Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

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Hotwifeok
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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Hotwifeok » Tue Jun 21, 2016 4:42 pm

maedhros21 wrote:
Hotwifeok wrote:
maedhros21 wrote:Hotwifeuk.....

By his own admission on a previous post he admits they were both reckless......I ask you this how do you not hold him responsible at all when he was the one to initially push the hotwife liofestyle on his wife. In most cases from what I have read it is usually the man who pushes his wife into this lifestyle so in my eyes that makes them even more responsible than the wife. I got sucked into this whole subject matter by a different author and I have since formed the opinion that this lifestyle that people write about is an addiction. I have read more accounts of where things fall apart then i have of where things work out and even when they work out it leads to reduced intimacy between the husband and wife.

So I have a question for Bound, if you were to get remarried would you still pursue your fantasies after learning how self destructive they are?
I think his admission was wrong based upon the facts he has presented. And I told him he was not reckless. Neither one of them went into the lifestyle thinking it would cause a problem. If they had that would have been reckless IMO.

Responsibility lies with the actions of the one who broke the rules, the trust, and not putting the marriage first. That falls squarely on the wife. She was the one who did all those things, disrespected her husband, and was selfish about her wants. So no. I don't hold B2BM responsible for any of it based upon the facts as presented.

Interesting about your statement about more accounts falling apart than not. That is just made up or a bad perception. There are very very few accounts on here where the marriages fall apart. Are there more than that certainly. But usually they just quit posting when it goes bad. If I where to make that statement twenty people would come out of the woodwork to knock me up side the head and rightfully so.

As far as reduced intimacy. I don't see that as being every time as you state. Yes there are some... But there also are those where they openly talk about a much better marriage and sex life.
I am sorry Hotwife but i dont mean to seem argumentative but I think it is kind of rude for you to tell the author of this thread that he is wrong about his own feelings. He admits to him and his wife being reckless but you are going to tell him he wasnt?

Argue with me all you want. It is a good learning experience. I try to be objective and learn and adapt to new informations. Just so you know I have never been wrong in my life. Hahahahahahahahahaha! Yeah right!

It's not rude to be supportive. I don't think B2BM admitted to being reckless... He stated he was reckless to appease IMO. He was down from where I stand. I still don't see anything reckless about what he has told us. I support him and don't see that he did anything wrong so why is building him up rude?


As far as entering the lifestyle not thinking it could cause a problem, well that is just naive. Since so much of a relationship between a man and a wife revolves around their intimacy with each other it would be silly to go blindly into something involving that same physical intimacy with another and not assume there could be problems. Why do you think so many couples who do try this lifestyle try and set rules and boundaries, specifically because they acknowledge the potential hazards. Whether they stick to their own self appointed rules is one thing, from the brief description bound gave us of his wife and his experience he didnt mention any such rules.

I take it you are not very nuanced? I think there is a very big difference in COULD and WOULD. I said WOULD. I don't think going into the lifestyle is reckless because it COULD cause a problem. Is getting in a car and driving to work reckless because you COULD have an accident? Driving to work in an ice storm and trying to drive 50 MPH as you usually do WOULD be reckless. Going into,the lifestyle knowing that it WOULD cause a problem is reckless.

It's easy to say the wife should police herself when feelings start to develop but that is much easier said than done. It's not as if in one moment she decides she has feelings for someone else, it develops over time and shared intimacy. I in no way believe the end result of this tragic relationship was all bounds fault but the blame should be shared equally.

I couldn't disagree more. She was in a much better position to feel and recognize the feelings she was having and did nothing to shut them down because she was having too much fun. That is selfish. There is know way that a person just wakes up and realizes that they are in love with the BF. That love developed over time and you have to had been aware of it when it happens. Especially in this lifestyle since it is easier for it to happen. If they had both been discussing it and continued and let it get deeper then I would have called that reckless and put the blame on both of them.

Hotwifing is so different than swinging or having an open marriage because only one side of the partnership is getting satisfaction outside their marriage. The husband just has his imagination to keep him entertained while his wife is enjoying another man. It would once again be naive on the mans part to never even think there could be a chance that his wife would leave him for her lover. From what I have read on the subject that is actually part of the appeal in sending the wife to be with someone else so the husband shouldnt feel blindsided when that possibility comes true.

Only one side getting satisfaction? Not necessarily so. And a man wouldn't put up with not getting any satisfaction unless he was a cuck wimp. I don't see that in B2BM. There are plenty of men, and I would be one of those, who would be overjoyed to see my wife get her pleasure elevated beyond what I can give her as long as all of my needs are being met. I hear a lot a men describe how much hotter their sex life is when he gets to watch or the wife comes home and they have reclaim sex. That is not one sided and it is not just his imagination. Are there some cucks on here like that? Yup. Just look at larashusband for a great example.

I don't know where you read but but not every and I would postulate most men don't get off on the possibility of losing his wife. I dont think B2BM had that kink. I could be wrong and it would be great if he would answer that. If he did then I would put blame on him and say that he was being reckless. And yes I agree it would be naive to not even think it was a possibility but it is also a possibility when you wife hoes to work every day. Studies have shown over and over that most affairs start in the workplace. So should we not let our wives go to work?


You sound like someone who has had great experiences in this lifestyle and I hope that you continue to do so and not wake up in the nightmare our author did. I actually started responding to this thread because of the innocent third party in the whole saga and that is the person my heart goes out to, growing up in a broken home sucks no matter how well adjusted your parents think you are.

I don't necessarily know how much experience I have in this lifestyle but I have a good many years experience. a wife who cheated on me and left me. A wife Who had friends who interfered with our marriage that help break it up. And done a whoLe shitload of research on relationships and what keeps them strong and what makes them weak. And a wife who I love very very much who I would give her anything to meet any needs I couldn't meet as long as it wasn't hurting our marriage. And know that if we participate in this lifestyle there are thre cannons that cannot be broken. Love and respect. Truthful and honest open communication. And lastly the marriage comes first.

And yes the kids got hurt. I don't have any doubt in that in my belief. But that falls on the person who didn't follow the cannons I laid out and was selfish and thought of herself before anything else. There are many posting in here who brag about there wife going out 4-5 nights a week, gone on weekends, and staying overnight to be with their fuckbudy, and the hubby stays home with the kids. THAT is inexcusable and abusive to the kids IMOH. I just don't see what B2BM did was so out of line that he has blame in this.

From what I see of your position you wouldn't think any married couple should play this game due to the risk ofbtjeir marriage and if they have kids it is child abuse to enter into this lifestyle. Am I off on that?


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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by lagercandle2014 » Mon Jul 04, 2016 9:39 am

Bound2bmine, here's what I think prospective couples can read and gleam out of your story, who want to try/get in to the lifestyle and it's pitfalls, I have cut and pasted what to me is the most relevant bits, ( and my comments highlighted in green ) I have not used all of your post although the other parts are very relative to your story and should be read in full.

By this time she was like 25-26 when she started playing with other men. ( she is playing with more than one man, that's sensible/good, the marriage is still relatively safe at this point, although there is one problem, playing alone, which will become clearer as to why further on)

I have to tell you none of the guys knew that I was aware of her playing around. They all thought she was cheating on me. ( big mistake by you both here, the other men should always know the truth, that your wife is not cheating on you )
So at that time I never got to watch. It was her playing on her own and me just hearing the details. This went on for 5 yrs off and on. ( this is not good, it's all so wrong, it's far too long to allow her to play on her own, why because, I believe you needed, should have and wanted to be there, watching, even participating, so you both get as much equal pleasure as you could out of the hotwife lifestyle, it must be a two way thing for it to work see below )

At some point we had the idea that we should get a guy who could be a steady lover for her. A guy that we could both be friends with and I could watch and participate, as well as a steady lover for her. ( this is the worst idea/decision you both could make, to have only one lover, a FWB , who most likely would and did become a BF to her instead, two very different titles and persons )

I thought I was in heaven.
I had never seen my wife react like she did to this guy. ( Red Flag time )
I have to admit however that it did worry me a bit. ( ? )
With in 3 months it started to get a little out of control he was fucking her 3-4 times a week. ( even more Red Flags )
Most of times she was at his place because we had a child. She would leave work go to his place and come home after. ( so many Red Flags going on and all ignored and you are back to being on your own again, left out )

So by this point I have a young wife and mother that is getting fucked by another man 3-4 times a week and I'm hardly getting any sex at all. ( your marriage is now falling apart )
If she wouldn’t have been on the pill she would have been pregnant right away,
Keep in mind 3-4 times a week, many night twice a night, that's a whole lot of another mans cum inside her. ( your marriage is failing rapidly )

Then I start to see a change in her she starts to become more distant. I was getting no sex and when she would give me a BJ she would spit me out but she always swallowed him. ( your marriage is by now definitely over )

So what is the lesson here. This life is dangerous make sure you go into it with eyes wide open.
Be careful of wife having a steady boyfriend with out having any rules.
(nothing to add here except so very true )

In closing I would just like to add one more thing, You were asked too and you did as requested to put your story in the Library for all to read and make use of, and I applaud you for this, but I think you should have locked it (if that is possible ask admin if it is) and only you can add to it, so people including me could not post in it, as there is quite a lot discussion going back and forth between others, I include my self in this even though there are some good points raised, but I feel it will detract from your story, can I say to everyone else who posted we should raise our comments elsewhere, so as to leave and preserve this story as Bound2bmine's only.

Regards LC
I'm the boss in our house, and I have the wifes permission to say so!

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Bound2bmine » Tue Jul 05, 2016 2:52 pm

I agree with a lot of what you say. By the way that green is hard to read.
I have to tell you none of the guys knew that I was aware of her playing around. They all thought she was cheating on me. ( big mistake by you both here, the other men should always know the truth, that your wife is not cheating on you )
Well we did this because it was easier to find men. She met many men thru her work we figured that they would freak if they knew I liked to share her. Since it was people from work she wanted to keep it secret it was easier if they thought again she was cheating.
So at that time I never got to watch. It was her playing on her own and me just hearing the details. This went on for 5 yrs off and on. ( this is not good, it's all so wrong, it's far too long to allow her to play on her own, why because, I believe you needed, should have and wanted to be there, watching, even participating, so you both get as much equal pleasure as you could out of the hotwife lifestyle, it must be a two way thing for it to work see below )
Kind of agree here but most of these guys were married and not a long term thing.
At some point we had the idea that we should get a guy who could be a steady lover for her. A guy that we could both be friends with and I could watch and participate, as well as a steady lover for her. ( this is the worst idea/decision you both could make, to have only one lover, a FWB , who most likely would and did become a BF to her instead, two very different titles and persons )
Agreed here but she wanted a connection with the guy and I wanted to be able to watch and participate.
thought I was in heaven.
I had never seen my wife react like she did to this guy. ( Red Flag time )
Agreed but it was freaking hot to watch.
I have to admit however that it did worry me a bit. ( ? )
The way I saw her react to him in bed it was like wow. That looks like more than lust. That why it worried me but turned me on so much.
With in 3 months it started to get a little out of control he was fucking her 3-4 times a week. ( even more Red Flags )
Totally agree but the dynamics were so hot by then I'm not sure i would have stopped. Not sure if you have seen the video clips I have posted in the past. Watching them was crazy he took total control of her and she loved it.
Most of times she was at his place because we had a child. She would leave work go to his place and come home after. ( so many Red Flags going on and all ignored and you are back to being on your own again, left out )
Again no I way I could stop. But yes I was alone again.
So by this point I have a young wife and mother that is getting fucked by another man 3-4 times a week and I'm hardly getting any sex at all. ( your marriage is now falling apart )
Agreed.
Then I start to see a change in her she starts to become more distant. I was getting no sex and when she would give me a BJ she would spit me out but she always swallowed him. ( your marriage is by now definitely over )
Agreed. One thing I had forgotten to write in the original story. I asked her once why we were not having sex not even a hand job. She said I cant imagine you touching me. I knew it was over then.

I didn't want to lock the story because i want people to comment. Its good to hear different opinions. it would be hard if the story was posted in a different area.
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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by mundyman » Tue Jul 05, 2016 3:04 pm

B2B I remember reading your story when you first posted it. Since then you have been a voice of caution and experience while encouraging couples to explore this lifestyle fully.
One thing I can't remember seeing is your current relationship status. Did you find another relationship and have you tried to get back into the lifestyle?
Thanks for sharing.

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Bound2bmine » Tue Jul 05, 2016 4:16 pm

Did you find another relationship and have you tried to get back into the lifestyle?
Thanks for sharing.
I have been in a couple of relationships but none serious. Have not been able to get back into the lifestyle hard to find a woman that's into this from the get go. Maybe have not been looking in the right place.
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Zona

Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Zona » Mon Aug 29, 2016 10:29 pm

Bump. This story should be on a sticky.

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by 2wheel » Tue Aug 30, 2016 2:41 am

Most women, not all, get attached, have a connection to the man they're having sex with. The more sex the more the connection.

This lifestyle is about sex, not connections. I think keeping the repeats to a minimum keeps the possibility of connections to a minimum as well. That includes, overnights and men you know, convenience is a poor excuse.

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by lkh96 » Tue Aug 30, 2016 6:31 am

B2B how is she doin now ?? Is she still together with the guy that she left you for ??

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by norbertrichard » Tue Aug 30, 2016 7:29 am

You say that it started with hook-ups at work, Is she still working at the same place, now that she is married to the other guy?

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Bound2bmine » Wed Aug 31, 2016 5:34 am

B2B how is she doin now ?? Is she still together with the guy that she left you for ??
Yes they are still together.
You say that it started with hook-ups at work, Is she still working at the same place, now that she is married to the other guy?
No she no longer works in the same place.
wheel

Most women, not all, get attached, have a connection to the man they're having sex with. The more sex the more the connection.

This lifestyle is about sex, not connections. I think keeping the repeats to a minimum keeps the possibility of connections to a minimum as well. That includes, overnights and men you know, convenience is a poor excuse.
I agree here this one of the things that went wrong in a short time she was seeing him 3-4 times a week. I went from sex-to some sex-to hardly any sex-to nothing at all. Mean while he was having her all the time.
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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by norbertrichard » Wed Aug 31, 2016 9:10 am

You have pulled your pictures out of the Hotties? Any special reason? They were very erotic, and enlightening.

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Bound2bmine » Wed Aug 31, 2016 1:56 pm

norbertrichard wrote:You have pulled your pictures out of the Hotties? Any special reason? They were very erotic, and enlightening.
Yes someone accused me of revenge porn. No way was it revenge porn it pissed me off and I went off the site for a while.
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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by lkh96 » Wed Aug 31, 2016 2:47 pm

B2B ......fuck the naysayers n i say fuck your ex too.......
Pls share the pictures again !!

It sucks to hear that your ex is still with that guy. I was hoping they broke off after a few months.....

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Bound2bmine » Wed Aug 31, 2016 2:54 pm

Dicktwat wrote:B2B ......fuck the naysayers n i say fuck your ex too.......
Pls share the pictures again !!

It sucks to hear that your ex is still with that guy. I was hoping they broke off after a few months.....
Anyone that wants to talk about her or wants to see more picture reach out to me on Yahoo messenger.
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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by allengt » Wed Aug 31, 2016 2:58 pm

Bound2bmine wrote:
Dicktwat wrote:B2B ......fuck the naysayers n i say fuck your ex too.......
Pls share the pictures again !!

It sucks to hear that your ex is still with that guy. I was hoping they broke off after a few months.....
Anyone that wants to talk about her or wants to see more picture reach out to me on Yahoo messenger.
Have you figured out how the new Yahoo Messenger works. Today is the last day for the old one to be working.
There are pages of complaints about the new one.
Only a fool test the depth of the water with both feet.
A bigger fool than the fellow who knows it all is the one who'll argue with him.

Read the rules: app.php/rules

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by lkh96 » Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:02 pm

Bound2bmine wrote:
Dicktwat wrote:B2B ......fuck the naysayers n i say fuck your ex too.......
Pls share the pictures again !!

It sucks to hear that your ex is still with that guy. I was hoping they broke off after a few months.....
Anyone that wants to talk about her or wants to see more picture reach out to me on Yahoo messenger.

Would pm work :) ???

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Bound2bmine » Wed Aug 31, 2016 4:35 pm

Have you figured out how the new Yahoo Messenger works. Today is the last day for the old one to be working.
There are pages of complaints about the new one.
I have i'm not impressed.
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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Bound2bmine » Wed Aug 31, 2016 4:44 pm

Would pm work
Yes its not as easy put yes.
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tunafish

Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by tunafish » Fri Sep 02, 2016 2:07 pm

Two comments - first off their situation (divorce) might very well have happened without the situation involved. Secondly every one of us could have this happen if we pursue the hotwives lifestyle. Accusations and recriminations are meaningless. Everyones situation is different but at the end of the day any couple can run into trouble with or without this lifestyle. I'd lastly offer that every couple that lives this lifestyle jeprodizes their children's future in some way or another. I am not judging nor criticizing just
offering my two cents.



Zona wrote:
maedhros21 wrote: My point in initially posting here though was that when people become parents they live to make sure their children have a happy life. They make sacrifices and some of those sacrifices mean not being able to do things that might make them happy. This couple completely ignored the risks to their childs happiness and stability to pursue something that would make only them happy EVEN IF PUT THEIR CHILDS FUTURE STABILITY AT RISK.
I don't disagree with your points here. But regarding the part I have highlighted, couldn't the exact same point be made on almost every thread on this website?
maedhros21 wrote:The mother when she first felt real feelings for her lover had a responsibility at that point to stop things but she didnt, the husband when he started to realize his wife was getting too close ie. no more sex for him, had a responsibility to end things. Everything they did in this lifestyle was to please themselves at the expense of their childs happiness....how is that not being ultimately selfish.
I certainly agree with you that the mother was selfish in the extreme. And you are absolutely correct in your assertion that she should have stopped things when she first realized that the real feelings she was having for her lover would have disastrous consequences.

I wouldn't put too much blame on the husband though. His wife was in charge of her own emotions and I strongly suspect she hid them from her husband for a long time. And when he realized things had changed so badly for their marriage, it was most likely already too late for him to stop anything.

But, again let me state that the arguments you make could be applied to virtually any thread in at least the Hotwife, Cuckold, and Poly forums. Applying them to this thread is not at all helpful to the purpose Bound2bmine intended: a cautionary tale regarding the real consequences that can happen to ANYONE engaged in this activity. So the real moral of the story is right there in the title of his thread.

This can and does happen far too often when people let the hotness of the situation get out of control. I personally know several now divorced couples that I met here on OHW. And I'd bet the ranch there are dozens more that we don't know about. They just stop posting.

I applaud Bound2bmine for graciously posting this thread as a real service to anyone thinking about entering the lifestyle and to anyone already in the lifestyle who has started to perceive danger signs in their marriage.

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Bound2bmine » Sat Sep 03, 2016 7:17 am

Two comments - first off their situation (divorce) might very well have happened without the situation involved. Secondly every one of us could have this happen if we pursue the hotwives lifestyle. Accusations and recriminations are meaningless. Everyones situation is different but at the end of the day any couple can run into trouble with or without this lifestyle. I'd lastly offer that every couple that lives this lifestyle jeprodizes their children's future in some way or another. I am not judging nor criticizing just
offering my two cents.
Divorce can always happen but you must agree that this lifestyle does make the odds greater to have an issue. I think its safe to say that. Not the it will happen but odds are higher.

As far as kids you know what I agree my kid turned out find but she thinks her mom left her dad for another man. But in the end isn't this what happened?

Again i'm not saying anything bad about the lifestyle I love it. I would do it again with the right person.
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Guhunkadorn

Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Guhunkadorn » Sat Mar 25, 2017 6:44 am

Thank you for sharing your story. It's highly erotic, sad and instructive. The video is incredible.

Curious, did your ex-wife make a socio-economic sacrifice in leaving you for her lover?

Are they married?...sorry if you all ready answered that.

Thanks again.

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Bound2bmine » Sun Apr 02, 2017 6:24 am

Guhunkadorn wrote:Thank you for sharing your story. It's highly erotic, sad and instructive. The video is incredible.

Curious, did your ex-wife make a socio-economic sacrifice in leaving you for her lover?

Are they married?...sorry if you all ready answered that.

Thanks again.
T0 answer your question she made a few sacrifices but she as well as myself made good money. But she did leave a home and broke up the family. Yes they are married now yes.
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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Breakerhymen » Mon Apr 10, 2017 10:18 am

Just curious---is she still hot wifing? If she wasn't looking for something she was missing and was a true hotwife wouldn't she still be hot wifing?

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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Bound2bmine » Tue Apr 11, 2017 4:45 am

Breakerhymen wrote:Just curious---is she still hot wifing? If she wasn't looking for something she was missing and was a true hotwife wouldn't she still be hot wifing?
So not sure what you mean by a true hot-wife, all couples are different. Did she find something that was missing I would say yes. My point continues to be that when a woman gets great sex followed by lots of attention and an emotional bond things can happen. Of course not with every wife or couple. Looking back it was very interesting how he got to her and turned her and I have to admit I was rock hard thru the entire process and still get off on it.
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Re: Be Careful What you Wish For (true story)

Unread post by Breakerhymen » Tue Apr 11, 2017 8:23 am

My question is does she still see others? If not then she wasn't really hotwifng.

More like trying new relationships.

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