9. Understand that if you like it your emotions and sex life will never be the same again. Your sexual rollercoaster has moved from kindergarten to xxx.
You have decided to have a man (or men) in your life that is in addition to hubby. Big deal? No, Massive fucking deal. You must have this conversation regularly.
Firstly with yourself (a short one), am I doing this for me and for the right reasons?
Second, with hubby, are we still enjoying this and is nobody close to us getting hurt?
Girls, you will need to keep your feet firmly on the floor. I read here often that wifey is getting enough sex from BF that 'cucky' doesn't get a sniff anymore. This doesn't ring true with me, not saying it isn't but extramartial sex is so addictive, you will find that you are fucking hubby more than before and additionally fucking BF too.
So how does a BF fit in? You have got to know what and where does a BF fit in your life. They are the men in your life with whom you share a spark. As spark that is enough for you to want to have sex with them; that warm feeling of camaraderie that comes from common interests, shared experiences and now that you have this 'HW deal' HOT SEX and lots of it.
The best BFs tickle your fancy on demand and in turn are captivated by you. It's extraordinary when there is a smoldering attraction and super fun when you are flirting with each other. Great feelings when there is witty banter, and that "essential for most women" physical affection. BFs can be whatever you want them to be they can be the wonderful highlights in your life, making you feel so special with attention and mutual positive energy. Boyfriends are also meant to be platonic. How? Because they are play things for you to play with. They must not interfere with your private life. There is no mortgage, no dirty laundry, not kids groups, no normal relationship crap. They are fun times without the bullshit of normal living. but please bear in mind if you leave hubby for him, all you do is move the baggage and add some more. Please give hubby some credit here, it was him that agreed to this deal, so he must get some credit for why you feel so good. If your reading this Mrs Truckstar, rewards can be given via wholesome blow jobs, MFF threesomes or letting me bang your arse when you return from a date. If you don't ask you don't get
My wife values men as friends with benefits or fuck buddies, she is trying to avoid long relationships now but we will see.
OK the sensible bit, you are a woman and nature has equipped you to be able to love more than one man, but culture has educated you to ditch a cheat and have only one love in your life. Culture never beats nature, or how would a mother be able to love her children equally. Nature has equipped her.
The secret to having boyfriends successfully is not carrying a torch for any of them. The torch is for your spouse, even if it's sputtering at the moment. If you feel the torch leaning toward a boyfriend, consider this a red flag, give your hubby the benefit of the doubt and make sure yu tend to the home fires, ASAP. Put BF on hold, the back burner or ditch him. Address the connection that's lacking in your home life so you can get back on track and make clean connections with your boyfriends.
Never discuss your husbands failings with a BF.
Another part of the secret is that you and your boyfriends must be able to draw that line between emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy. Emotional intimacy with your boyfriends can involve limited sharing of thoughts and feelings, sexual ideas, relationship hopes, and some dreams to a degree and even in some cases bodily fluids. play the game, ride the wave and enjoy the fun but focus on your goal and keep hubby in mind. Take responsibility for your own contraception and sexual health,
A foolish woman would have sex with a boyfriend and turn it into love without limits, or interpret it as true love, because the BF, no matter what will always remember how he met you and what labels that often brings. Hubby got you here, please respect that. If fantastic sex is the magic ingredient that places your extramarital relationship above and beyond all others, once you've become sexually intimate with the other man, you've sown the seeds of your HW lifestyle, you must learn to control it and not it control you. You must remember that it will be hot, a head rush and please remember to keep your feet on the floor.
Perhaps you have other rituals that are between you and hubby, like recounting adventures or eating ceampies or having sex whilst the BF is leaking out of you, sounds gross to some sounds heavenly to others. Whatever it is that maintains your connection make sure you exercise it and put your primary relationship "above and beyond everything," put reunion/reclaiming/post adventure sex definitely at the top of your list, that is the secret of success for most people.
Be good to each other, this is a risky business and all you newbie HWs, if you do this for more than once and last at it for more than six months, that love thing will stir in your loins, if it does, take a check pace, ask yourself, why are you having so much fun, most of you will say because of my hubby. Stop the BF, rekindle your marriage and find a new adventure. Go back to the questions at the start of this passage.
thanks for reading.