A Newbie's Grateful First Post

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Edwardian
Prepubescent
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2017 6:33 am
Location: Nuevo Mexico

A Newbie's Grateful First Post

Unread post by Edwardian » Mon Jan 23, 2017 9:02 am

Where to start?

After some recent self-examination while my wife was out of town I came to understand and accept a fundamental aspect of my personality--I'm submissive.

It was this website and some others that helped me put the pieces of the puzzle together into a picture that I could clearly see. The recognition of what was in that picture also pointed to a clear way forward. I knew that I was to completely devote myself to my wife. Her comfort, health, prosperity, happiness and overall well-being were to be my reasons for living. I also understood that I would need to become expert at her wants and needs and lose the selfishness that would mean trying to make her happy in ways that made sense to and pleased me.

This website is pretty amazing on many levels. I'm glad it's here. The membership seems to be very accepting, curious, cosmopolitan, intelligent and self-aware.

I know that accepting myself as I am has produced some amazing results. I feel like a lifetime of inner conflict has melted away. There is some residual inner resistance but it's minor and so far easily dealt with. I can see how this inner ambivalence and conflict has caused sometimes severe relational problems for me and others in the past.

Where will all this lead? Who can say. I'm surprised I've gotten this far. I don't think my current wife is HotWife material although she could surprise me. My second wife, who died from cancer several years ago, was definitely a candidate although maybe not temperamentally. My outrageous fantasies about her since her death have been really helpful in me figuring out me.

Again, that's one of the really cool features about this site is how the people involved describe their journeys.

I don't think we're cut out for true cuckolding either although that is definitely my nature. What I do think has sprung into being is a female led relationship. I couldn't be happier although my wife seems a bit taken aback by my recent outpouring of love and devotion. I haven't told her the whole story yet; just a sketch and of course the outcome of my self-searching. She's naturally dominate so I don't think the transition to genuineness will take all that long. More communication and honesty will most likely turn the trick.

She's pretty open to BDSM and pegging. I'm not sure about chastity but it would probably suit me perfectly. The symbolism and ritual, however modest, is so exciting. I've learned all this new vocabulary along with the ideas behind it so it may take a bit to get her on board with all of this. This sounds pretty condescending but I may have to translate it into plain language devoid of jargon. That may make it easier for both of us. I think too, that she may be a switcher; someone with strong needs that go in both directions. It'll be fun to watch her grow.

I've been searching my whole life for my true purpose and direction. It was under my nose the entire time.

I'm not sure how active a member I'll be here. I do have a couple of ideas for threads that I'll post fairly soon.

Thanks again.
Last edited by Edwardian on Mon Jan 23, 2017 11:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

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allengt
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Re: A Newbie's Grateful First Post

Unread post by allengt » Mon Jan 23, 2017 9:50 am

Welcome to the forum.
Only a fool test the depth of the water with both feet.
A bigger fool than the fellow who knows it all is the one who'll argue with him.

Read the rules: app.php/rules

pumachug
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Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2015 6:34 am

Re: A Newbie's Grateful First Post

Unread post by pumachug » Tue Jan 24, 2017 4:14 am

Edwardian wrote:I do have a couple of ideas for threads that I'll post fairly soon.

Thanks again.

Lookin' forward to it! Welcome.

OOAA

Re: A Newbie's Grateful First Post

Unread post by OOAA » Tue Jan 24, 2017 8:15 pm

Welcome here!!!

Open2it
2 Bit Whore
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Re: A Newbie's Grateful First Post

Unread post by Open2it » Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:50 am

Welcome and enjoy your journey. It can be wildly exciting for both of you although there is usually a big difference between what's depicted in porn and real life. Real life can be so much more fun :)

Edwardian
Prepubescent
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2017 6:33 am
Location: Nuevo Mexico

Re: A Newbie's Grateful First Post

Unread post by Edwardian » Thu Jan 26, 2017 7:09 am

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone.

In the past, I've been reluctant to put fantasies into action because reality never seemed to measure up. Suspending disbelief was difficult too.

This seems so different and I think it has to do with it not being a fantasy but my reality.

Edwardian
Prepubescent
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jan 23, 2017 6:33 am
Location: Nuevo Mexico

Re: A Newbie's Grateful First Post (Updated)

Unread post by Edwardian » Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:18 am

UPDATE

My wife and I had a wonderful talk night before last. I didn't bring up cuckolding but we covered a lot of other ground.

I offered her my total submission. She said she'd "think about it". That was the one response I wasn't ready for--LOL. We did figure out that she is indeed a switcher. I offered her my ass and balls anytime she needed to work out her daily or long-term frustrations and resentments. "Better than punching a pillow" I told her. She smiled so sweetly.

I think she may have been mildly overwhelmed by it. She is, though, very happy for me that I'm happier and more secure than ever before.

The next day we talked more but the conversation was initiated and guided by her. It was about who of her friends and relatives I was attracted to. I was pretty honest and so was she. I brought up an FB she had when we first met and she told me more of the story than she ever had. That person is a dead-end street so no need to revisit it. She said there was no one in our current circle that she could imagine herself with.

I definitely sense that a new part of my life has begun. Not overly dramatic but important nevertheless.

I am so glad for this website. Thanks everyone!

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