Faithful Wife’s Fall From Grace Book 3
I ran down the street. I didn’t know where I was going. I just ran to get away from the loft apartment and the people inside.
I finally stopped because I was out of breath. I found myself in front of an Avis rental car store. Without thinking, I went inside and rented a car. I drove out of the city, going south. I have no idea why south. I just drove south.
My iPhone was vibrating from calls and texts from Jen. I ignored them. After a while, Allie started calling and texting me too. I ignored those as well. Eventually I turned my phone off.
I had no plan. I just drove. When I got to North Carolina I was finally too exhausted to drive anymore. I got a room in a cheap motel. There was a liquor store across the street. I filled a cardboard box with bottles of cheap scotch and a pack of red Solo cups. Then I went back to the room and drank until I passed out.
When I woke up I was hung over. I ate breakfast at a greasy diner and drank 4 cups of strong black coffee. Then I got back in the car with my box of scotch and drove. My phone was still off. I got another cheap room someplace in Florida. Again I drank until I passed out.
In Florida the next day, I drove pass a public golf course. On a whim I decided to stop and play. I wasn’t a big golfer. I played with my dad growing up but hadn’t played for years. I rented clubs and spent a few hours hacking at the little white ball. It was therapeutic. I found myself hating the ball more than Jen.
After golf, I found another cheap hotel, this one with a pool. I sat by the pool and drank cheap scotch. I finally turned on my phone. There were dozens of voice mails and text messages. I ignored them. I called work. Somehow my meltdown had gotten back to the people at my work. I half expected to be fired because of my AWOL, but instead everyone was worried about me. I was surprised, and really touched. My partners told me to take as much time as I needed. Steve and Brian, my main lieutenants, promised to cover for me.
Steve gave the phone to Elaine. She said she was really worried about me. She offered to join me. I was tempted. But I needed to be alone. I said I’d call when I eventually returned to NYC.
After hanging up with Elaine, a text came in, and then the phone rang. It was Jen. I ignore both. I turned the phone off again. I hated the bitch. I never wanted to see her again.
I stayed in Florida, wandering around the state. The pattern of each day was the same. Drive. Golf. Drink. Pass out.
As the days passed, my hatred for Jen eased. I was lonely and missing her. I daydreamed about Jen coming after me. I wasn’t exactly off the grid. My iPhone was off, but I was using credit cards. It wouldn’t take James Bond to find me. I started expecting Jen to knock on the door of my hotel room, sobbing and begging for forgiveness. I wasn’t sure what I would do. I went back and forth. Sometimes I’d kick her out on her ass. Other times, when I was lonely and missing her, I’d forgive her and we’d try to heal and put our life back together.
But Jen never knocked on my door. She never came after me. I knew what happened. Scott used my meltdown to his advantage, and Jen was probably back with him in Michigan. I remembered how Scott yelled for me to get out so he could finish fucking Jen. In MY new house. My anger returned. Jen never came after me. She didn’t care about me. She was probably at that moment fucking Scott. I hated her again. I despised Scott. I hated them both.
I called the realtor. I told her to sell the loft apartment. She told me I was crazy. I just bought the place; if I sold this quickly I’d lose money for sure. I told her I didn’t care. I told her I caught Jen fucking her lover in the loft apartment. I told her I never wanted to see the apartment again. I told her to sell it immediately or I’d get another realtor.
The realtor went quiet hearing that. Finally she said “I’m sorry Mike. Of course I’ll sell it for you. I’ll list it right away.”
The loft apartment sold about a week later. The realtor did a good job. I lost money, but not too much. I couldn’t help being sad when it sold. All of my dreams were now officially dead. My marriage was dead. Jen was dead to me.
Eventually I returned to New York City. I’d been gone almost a month. I went to work and everyone gave me a warm welcome back. Again I was touched. I didn’t want to talk about Jen. People sensed that and they gave me space.
I’d only been at work for a couple of hours when my secretary came into my office and said “Hey Mike? There’s an Allie on the line for you.”
I frowned at the phone for long moments. Finally I picked it up. “Allie,” I said.
“So you’re not dead,” Allie said with her sassy voice.
My frown deepened. I wasn’t in the mood for Allie’s bullshit. I said “How did you know I was back?”
“I know people at your office Mike,” she answered. Of course she did. I’d known Allie as long as Jen, over 10 years. When you know someone that long, the people you know start overlapping.
“That was a dick move, disappearing like that,” Allie chided me. “Jen was frantic.”
“I don’t care,” I told her.
“God Mike,” Allie lamented.
“Did she tell you what happened?”
“Yes,” Allie said sounding uncomfortable. “Look Mike, I’m not taking sides.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “So she has a side?” I said with a bitter laugh.
“God Mike,” she said again. “Look … have you checked your voice mail? Read your texts?”
“No,” I told her.
“Do that Mike,” Allie said. Then she hung up.
I didn’t have my phone with me. It was at home. When I got home that night – I was staying in our old apartment – I tried to turn the phone on but it was out of power. I plugged it in. I poured myself a Highland Park while I waited for it to charge.
When I turned it on, there were dozens of texts and voice mails. Almost all were from Jen. I got some satisfaction out of that, but I couldn’t stomach going through all of it. After all, texts and voice mails didn’t mean anything. If she really cared she would’ve come after me. But she didn’t.
The most recent voice mail was long. Over 5 minutes. I steeled myself, emotionally preparing myself to listen to Jen’s message. Then I hit play. I listened to the girl I’d been with for over 10 years. The girl I fell head over heels for the first time we met. The girl I thought I loved more than life, and who I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. The girl I thought loved me.
Jen’s message was hesitant. There were a lot of pauses. Her voice broke up. There was crying.
“So hey …,” Jen hesitantly began. “It’s me again. I’m just calling … I don’t know if you’re listening to my messages. I wish you would, and call me back, or at least text me. I called the police. I know you’re in Florida. So, at least I know you’re okay ….”
There was a long pause, and then she said “I think I understand why you got so upset. It’s just, I was so excited to move back to New York. To move back to you. Mike, it’s just, Scott was right there. And you said you’d be working until dinner. I thought I had enough time. I was so excited to go to dinner with you. Just you and me. And tell you the good news.”
Another long pause. Then she continued. “I know I fucked up. I shouldn’t have taken Scott to the loft apartment. It’s just, he already checked out of the hotel. And the apartment was empty. I didn’t really think of it as ours yet. It was empty. We hadn’t bought furniture yet. The bed … it wasn’t our bed. We were going to throw it away. We’d never even use it.”
Jen was crying now. She took a few moments to compose herself, then she said “Allie told me what a dumb shit I was. She said the loft apartment meant a lot to you. That taking Scott there was really shitty. Mike I’m so sorry I did that. I really am. The loft apartment means a lot to me too. It does. It just didn’t feel like ours yet. I was so stupid. I’m so sorry.”
More tears. Sobbing. Then, after she calmed down, she said “So anyways … the merger’s complete now, and the thing with the German company is getting really hot. I’ve thought about not going. I’ve thought about trying to find you. But, I think you want to be alone. So, I think I’m gonna go with the rest of the team to Europe. But Mike, if you get this message, please call me and I’ll come right home. Please. I love you Mike. I’ll do anything to make it right. I will. I’m so sorry. I love you Mike.”
Jen’s last words were hard to understand, because she was crying so hard. I stared at the wall for a long time, trying to make sense of what I just heard.
A little while later, Allie called me. “Did you listen to it?” she asked.
“What merger?” I asked.
“Our companies merged,” Allie said. “Jen’s moving back.”
“She’s still in Europe,” Allie said.
“Working on the deal with the German company?” I asked, trying to catch up.
“That deal closed. We got the client.”
“So, why’s she still in Europe?” I asked. But then I knew. “She’s with Scott. They stayed over.”
“Don’t freak out Mike,” Allie warned. “Yes, she’s in Europe with Scott. But she was frantic when you bolted. She’s barely holding it together.”
“Yeah, she goes on a romantic vacation in Europe with her Scotty, she’s really upset about me,” I said sarcastically.
“Will you stop,” Allie said with a scowl in her voice. “I called Jen after I talked to you. She’s on a plane right now. She’ll be home in a couple hours. She wants to see you.”
“I do not want to see her!” I snapped.
“Mike stop being a dick!” Allie snapped back. “You have to see her! You have to!”
We met at a coffee shop. Jen came alone. If Scott was with her, I would have walked out without a single word. But she came alone.
Jen looked beautiful as always. She looked hesitant and nervous. Her eyes were red from crying.
She hugged and kissed me. I hugged her back, but it was out of politeness. I didn’t kiss her back. Jen noticed, and that set the tone for our conversation.
“I want to apologize again for what I did,” Jen began. “I was an idiot. I’m so sorry.”
“So let me understand,” I said to her. “You were happy to move back to me. So you fucked Scott. In the place we just bought to start a family. That’s how happy you were.”
Jen winced at my words. “I said I was an idiot,” she said in a soft voice.
“And then you go to Europe with him,” I said. “Instead of trying to find me.”
“I called and called,” Jen protested. Her eyes were watering up with tears.
“But then you go to Europe with him,” I said.
“Mike, it wasn’t like that,” Jen pleaded. “We just merged. I was pressured to go. It wasn’t a vacation.”
“You lie!” I yelled. My voice was so loud people turned to look at us. Seeing the stares, I composed myself and said in a lower voice, “You stayed with Scott after signing up the client.”
“A few of us stayed,” Jen told me. “It wasn’t just me and Scott. Ask Allie. And I came home as soon as Allie called.”
“Did Scott come too?”
“Did you fly back with Scott?” I hissed angrily.
“Yes,” Jen said. “He’s worried about you too.”
“Fuck you Jen, he is not!” I screamed at her. “And I don’t care anyway! He was screaming at me to leave when he had his dick inside you! He didn’t fly back because he was worried about me! He flew back to be with you!”
Now people turned to stare at us. I didn’t care. I glared at them and they turned away. Jen was looking down at her feet.
“I’m sorry Mike,” Jen said. She was crying now. “I really fucked up. I’ll never let Scott in the loft apartment again. I swear.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I told her. “I sold it.”
Jen stared at me, her mouth parting in shock. Her lower lip began quivering. I think at that moment she realized I was serious. There was no going back to our old life. That life was over. She began sobbing. “I’m so sorry,” she said, over and over again.
“Why are you crying?” I said to her. My voice was harsh. “This is exactly what you want.”
“It isn’t!” she pleaded between sobs.
“Yes it is,” I told her. My voice was filled with anger and hatred. “When you found out you were moving back, you wanted to celebrate with Scott, not me. He made the merger happen. He got partnerships for you and Allie. He’s your hero, not me.”
“Mike stop,” Jen said, sobbing.
“And then when I left, you stayed with Scott,” I said, my voice cold and bitter. “You went with him to Europe. You didn’t come after me. You went with Scott. You want to be with him, not me.”
“Mike no, please …,” Jen begged.
“It’s over Jen,” I told her. “We both know it’s over. It’s been over a long time.” I pushed a yellow manila envelope to her.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“You know what it is,” I said. “Divorce papers.”
“Mike nooooo,” Jen wailed. She reached for me but I pulled my hands away.
I stood up. “Have your lawyer read it,” I told her. I gave her a harsh, stern look. “Let’s get this over with. I want to get on with my life. I’m sure you’ll be happy with Scott.”
I turned to leave but Jen grabbed my hand. “Mike, please, don’t do this,” she begged. “We can work this out. Please!”
I pulled my hand away. “Goodbye Jen,” I told her. Then I turned and walked away.
(2 months later)
Jen was in Scott’s apartment. It was big and luxurious, and had a magnificent view of the Hudson River. They were sweaty after just making love. Both were still panting and their bodies tingled from their orgasms.
“So you signed the papers?” Scott asked.
Jen had stalled about signing the divorce papers. But Mike wouldn’t see her or even talk to her on the phone. They communicated through lawyers. And Mike’s lawyers were particularly rough. They were the epitome of “asshole lawyers.” They beat her down, insisting she sign the divorce papers.
Ultimately though, Jen signed the papers after talking to Allie. “I want you to really think about what I’m about to say,” Allie had said. “Why do you want Mike back? You’ve got Scott. You love him. So let Mike. Get on with your life. Let him get on with his life.”
“Yes, I signed the papers,” Jen said to Scott, looking at the boats slowly moving through the Hudson river.
“So that’s it,” Scott said. “You’re divorced?”
“I guess,” Jen said with a shrug. “I guess there’s legal stuff. But yeah, I’m divorced.” With a forced grin, she added “I guess I’m single again. I need to update my Facebook status. And I’ll have to think about dates for national holidays.”
Scott smiled at her joke. He was being gentle and understanding. He knew divorce was emotional trauma, even if – as here – it was the right decision. “You’re not single,” he corrected her with a tender smile. “You’ve always got me for holidays.”
Jen smiled at him. Scott kissed her and she kissed him back.
Scott brushed loose blonde strands from Jen’s beautiful face. He looked into her blue eyes and said “So, marry me Jenny.”
Scott took her face into his hands. He said “I want you to marry me.”
“Wow,” Jen said, feeling surprised. Scott was a happy-go-lucky, live for the moment kind of man. She never expected him to want to marry anyone. She certainly didn’t expect his proposal.
As if sensing her thoughts, Scott said “I love you Jenny. I’ve never felt this way with anyone. You make me want to be a better man.” Scott took both her hands. Looking into her eyes “You love me right?”
“Yes,” Jen said, looking back into his eyes.
“I love you too,” Scott said. He kissed her. “We’re perfect for each other. You know we are,” he said. “Marry me.” Then he reached over and retrieved a small box from the side table. It was a ring box. He opened it.
Jen’s eyes opened wide. “I think that’s the biggest freaking diamond I’ve ever seen,” she said. She laughed to break the tension.
Scott grinned at her. “Three months salary right?” he joked. “And then they tell me its pre-tax, not after-tax.” They both laughed.
Then Scott got serious again. He took the engagement ring out of the box and moved towards Jen’s ring finger. “Marry me Jenny,” he said, moving the ring so it touched the tip of her finger. “Say yes.”
But then Jen closed her hand, making a loose fist. “I can’t Scott,” she told him, a pained look on her pretty face. “I do love you. But my marriage just ended. I need some time to mourn that. I can’t marry you. I need to get my head straight.”
Scott was disappointed, but he took the news well. He was trying to be understanding and supportive. He forced a smile and said “Okay, I understand. I’ll give you time.” He grinned and added “A little. I’m gonna ask you again.”
Jen smiled at him. She wrapped her arms around Scott’s neck and kissed him.
Scott didn’t mine giving Jen some time. Mike was out of the picture. He had her all to himself now. He knew it was just a matter of time before she said yes. Then, the prettiest, sexiest girl he had ever met would be his bride.
Already she was his, even without the ring on her finger. So Scott kissed her back and fondled her tight, sexy body. He was hard again. He got between her legs and pushed in. He moaned. He loved the feel of her sweet pussy. It almost felt as good as her mouth with those pouty lips. Yes, Scott didn’t mine giving Jen some time, as long as he had her beautiful face to look at and her sexy body to play with. She was all his, and that’s exactly how he wanted it.
(6 months later)
I like being by myself. But, I don’t always want to be alone. So sometimes I go to a bar for a drink. I like crowded bars with a lot of energy. I keep to myself, not talking to anyone. But sometimes I like being around other people, even when I’m alone.
I was sipping my drink and watching the game on the big TV above the bar when I sensed someone sit next to me. I didn’t look over. I didn’t want to invite a conversation. Then I heard a pretty voice say “Let me guess. I bet that’s a Highland Park scotch.”
I recognized the voice. I looked over. It was Jen, sitting on the bar stool next to me.
“Hello,” I said. I was surprised to see her. I hadn’t seen her for months. The last time was when I gave her the divorce papers.
“So am I right?” Jen said with a grin, looking at my glass.
“Yes,” I said with a half laugh.
The bar was crowded and people were having trouble getting the bartender’s attention. But the bartender immediately came over to get the pretty girl’s (Jen’s) drink order. I watched as Jen smiled and batted her eyelashes at him as she ordered a martini with olives.
“I almost didn’t recognize you with that beard,” Jen said.
I shrugged. “I wanted something new,” I told her.
“I get that,” Jen said. We lapsed into silence. Then she grinned and said “So I have a confession. I’m on a blind date.”
“Really?” I said, surprised.
“Yes,” Jen said. “Allie set me up. One of Tony’s friends.”
“Huh,” I said, processing that. “So they’re still together? Allie and Tony?”
“Just got engaged actually,” Jen told me.
“Huh,” I said again, the one syllable expressing my surprise. “Well, that’s good. I’m happy for her.” I offered my glass and said “To Allie and Tony.”
Jen smiled and clinked my glass. We toasted the newly engaged couple.
“Don’t you think it’s kinda weird?” Jen asked. “That we can talk like normal people, after the last time we talked?”
“Yeah, I guess it is,” I agreed with a half laugh. “Sorry about sending Sam after you.” Sam was my best friend from college, and he was a lawyer now. And my divorce attorney. He was the asshole lawyer who pressured Jen to sign the divorce papers.
“Well, I could’ve lived without the best man at our wedding calling me a bitch,” Jen said with a grin. “But it’s okay. It’s just funny now.”
“Sorry about that,” I said regretfully.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jen said with an unconcerned shrug. “Like I said. It’s just a funny story now.”
We lapsed into silence. Then Jen said “I saw you on TV.”
“Oh yeah,” I said with a laugh. We were rolling out Sapphire 2 and I was helping to promote the new service. I didn’t feel comfortable being a TV talking head. It wasn’t my thing. But people at work were insistent. With a shrug I said, “The marketing types thought I’d being able to help with the rollout.”
“That’s cause you’re authentic and believable,” Jen said, giving me a crooked grin. “I know what I’m talking about. I’m one of those marketing types.”
We both laughed. But once again we lapsed into an awkward silence. Finally I said “So, blind date?”
“I’m trying to decide if I want to go through with it,” Jen said. She motioned across the bar. “I think that’s him.”
I looked where she motioned. I saw an incredibly handsome man with dark hair and broad shoulders. “Looks like your type,” I said with a grin at her.
“My type?” she asked with a laugh.
“Tall dark and handsome,” I said still grinning at her.
“I guess,” Jen said with another laugh.
“You’re not with Scott anymore?” I asked.
“No, we’re still together,” Jen said with a shrug. “He splits between here and Michigan. I’m mostly here now.”
I slowly nodded, not really understanding. But I didn’t feel comfortable probing any further. Then Jen asked “Are you with Elaine?”
“No,” I said, drawing out the one syllable in a thoughtful way. With a grin I said, “You know me. I prefer blondes.”
“I wondered about that,” Jen said with a laugh.
We lapsed into silence again. Jen finally stood up and said “Well, I guess I should go see my blind date.”
“Good luck with it,” I said with a grin at her.
Jen was about to join her blind date but she hesitated. She said “So, does this mean you don’t hate me anymore?”
I looked at her for long moments, considering my answer. Finally I said “I’m not sure.”
Jen was smiling at me. But it was a fake smile. I saw pain behind the smile and I admit, it made me feel good. She nodded slowly and said “Well, it was nice seeing you Mike.” Before she left, she added “I like the beard. It looks good on you.”
I had the Madam on speed dial. I told her what I wanted. It was always the same. Blonde. Pretty. Small breasts. Long legs. I was a good customer so, even though it was short notice, the Madam promised the girl within a hour. Almost as good as Dominos.
I didn’t want a relationship. That’s why I broke it off with Elaine. That’s why I didn’t date.
I had opportunities. A lot of opportunities. I was still relatively young, rich and single, and not a mass murderer. I didn’t have the burden of children. I was considered one of the new “Masters of the Universe” on Wall Street. I was on TV, and while I wasn’t tall, dark and handsome, I wasn’t ugly. So yeah, I had a lot of opportunities.
But I didn’t want a relationship. The last thing I wanted was a girlfriend, or god forbid another wife.
I’m a man though, and I get horny. So I found the Madam on the dark internet. I call her a couple times a month. Each time it’s a different girl. But each time it’s the same girl. Blonde. Pretty. Small breasts. Long legs.
As soon as the girl arrived – her name was Mary – I took her to my bed. Usually I’m more of a gentleman and offer a drink and small talk first. But seeing Jen had got me hot. She looked so good tonight. She was wearing her hair longer. It was halfway down her back. And her makeup was heavier, making her look even more like a super model. Her dress was short and tight. Was she wearing a bra? She wore nude stockings, and Christian Louboutin high heels (the kind with the red soles).
Mary was pretty and she had small pert breasts. Smaller than Jen even. She was practically flat chested. Her legs were long and she wore nude thigh high stockings. She kept her heels on when I fucked her. Madam makes sure her girls know my preferences because I pay well. As I fucked Mary, I fantasized about Jen.
Afterwards I always want to be alone. Madam knows that, and she makes sure the girls know too. So after I was done, Mary quickly dressed. I paid her and gave her a big tip (all cash of course). Mary kissed me, and then she was gone. I would never see her again. Madam never sent the same girl. Another of my preferences.
Afterwards I thought about Jen. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about her a lot. Often I wondered if it was a mistake to break it off with her.
I always reached the same conclusion. No, it wasn’t a mistake. A man has limits. Even a cuckold has limits. Jen crossed the line too many times. She hurt me too much.
I gave Jen everything. I gave her my heart, my love, security, kindness, understanding, patience, unconditional acceptance, everything. And, my blessings to fuck Scott. To explore her wild side with him. To experience the thrill of a new relationship. To even fall in love. And what was my payback? What did she give me? She tore me apart. Over and over again. She tore out my heart, she tore out my soul, she tortured me, she destroyed me.
I wanted the hurt, the angst. That’s part of being a cuck. But Jen hurt me too much. She had all the power in our relationship. She was supposed to take care of me. But she didn’t. And she didn’t seem to care. She didn’t even seem to notice.
Jen asked me if I still hated her. Yes, I did. Maybe I didn’t have the anger from before. But I still hated her. And a chance meeting at a bar wasn’t going to change that. A polite cordial conversation wasn’t going to change that. Her pretty face and sexy body weren’t going to change that. I hated her.