A Curse? A Cruel Trick Of Nature?

[hubudig2]

His thoughts on where his post nut clarity is at regarding jealousy/pain/disgust:

It's definitely different, sharing the experience with her. Before, it was a scary idea and I was alone with my thoughts and anxiety. I know we're not on the same page yet but so far I feel like I've exposed myself and made myself vulnerable to her during sex which has just been met with equal sexual excitement from her. When I cum, it's with her and we just feel love for each other after and like we've both exposed ourselves to each other and approved of each other's insecurities and that feels like it strengthens our bond.
I don't get the same overwhelming feelings of sickness and pain although they are still there if I choose to think about it that way. I can already see how they might fade away and be replaced with positive feelings. It's like a weight is being lifted from my mind, I'm now happy, excited and more in love with her than ever.

[hubudig2]

Dude, I had no idea what I was letting myself in for when I married this woman.
She's becoming a crazy hot mess and I can't seem to get enough of it. I keep trying to get out of her what fantasies she's been hiding from me but she insists she'll show me when she's ready.
Last night while we were watching something on netflix, she started watching a guy jerk off on her phone. She started touching herself and then looked at me and said "baby, I'm feeling horny, would you lick my pussy for me while I watch this guy jerk his big cock?". Her request was so hot to me I felt compelled to go down on her. As she watched she asked "mmm, do you mind that I'm thinking about sucking his big cock?", I shook my head. "I want to be his little slut, do you mind that?", I shook my head again. Eventually she tells me "I'm going to cum thinking about fucking this guy and taking his load, keep licking if you're ok with that", I kept going and she grabbed my head and pushed me forcefully against her pussy as she came. I was hoping for something in return but just got a "thank you baby" and she cuddled up to me.

[hubudig2]

I've told him to hold on tight because she's going to take him for a hell of a ride.
Sounds like she's just warming up; she's testing his submission and getting comfortable with being dominant.
I'm glad they're both enjoying it and able to release those pent up feelings.

Anyone ever experienced their wife begin to assert dominance like this?

[PaNic]

I’m confused, if he’s both writing the descriptions you post and reading our responses why doesn’t he just join and post directly himself?
Everyone here is using an anonymous alias so there’d be no breach of his privacy and a direct conversation would surely be better...

[hubudig2]

I've suggested it a couple of times but it's not something he wants to do.
He says it helps him to be able to write down all of his thoughts and feelings and share them with me and get my opinion.
I imagine that'll become less and less helpful as he begins to share them with his wife instead.
He doesn't know me, I'm completely anonymous to him but I guess it's easier to open up to and trust 1 person than many? (We were talking for a while before I brought it here).
I'm not sharing everything here, he doesn't want me to but he doesn't mind me sharing their general progress as a way of giving something back or helping others that are in the situation he was in.
I'm just happy to help and enjoy discussing these things, be that with him or others.
I'm not sure if that answers your question.

[zorro]

His thoughts on where his post nut clarity is at regarding jealousy/pain/disgust:

It's definitely different, sharing the experience with her. Before, it was a scary idea and I was alone with my thoughts and anxiety. I know we're not on the same page yet but so far I feel like I've exposed myself and made myself vulnerable to her during sex which has just been met with equal sexual excitement from her. When I cum, it's with her and we just feel love for each other after and like we've both exposed ourselves to each other and approved of each other's insecurities and that feels like it strengthens our bond.
I don't get the same overwhelming feelings of sickness and pain although they are still there if I choose to think about it that way. I can already see how they might fade away and be replaced with positive feelings. It's like a weight is being lifted from my mind, I'm now happy, excited and more in love with her than ever.

Yes, this! Anywhere along the journey, the husband can feel initial negative feelings (jealousy, disgust. fear. etc). As he learns to endure them for a bit, he can feel them give way when he gets to the other side with wonderful, deeply erotic and satisfying, positive feelings. When I feel some jealousy, I just note it and keep on. Invariably, at this point in our relationship, I get to the other side emotionally and just love having her pussy filled with thrusts of another man's cock. By then, I feel no jealousy, just a warm subfusion of love. And I feel closer and even more deeply in love when shares the intimate reality of her sexual desire and pleasure. She becomes more real when she is openly desirous and welcoming of another cock.
Your friend is beginning to see how it can work.

[hubudig2]

Yes, this! Anywhere along the journey, the husband can feel initial negative feelings (jealousy, disgust. fear. etc). As he learns to endure them for a bit, he can feel them give way when he gets to the other side with wonderful, deeply erotic and satisfying, positive feelings. When I feel some jealousy, I just note it and keep on. Invariably, at this point in our relationship, I get to the other side emotionally and just love having her pussy filled with thrusts of another man's cock. By then, I feel no jealousy, just a warm subfusion of love. And I feel closer and even more deeply in love when shares the intimate reality of her sexual desire and pleasure. She becomes more real when she is openly desirous and welcoming of another cock.
Your friend is beginning to see how it can work.

He said that's exactly how it feels so far and you were right, he didn't believe it could turn around this quickly.
He doesn't think he's ready to actually experience it but he feels like he's accepted it will happen and he's excited for it and is currently just enjoying sharing the fantasy with her and the positive effect it's having on their love and sex life.
There was another big update last night and this morning, he's reluctant for me to share it though.
I'm currently trying to read between the lines and put it together, I'll see how he feels about it.

[hubudig2]

He wasn't keen on letting me share the last update I prepared.
I'll give a general and deliberately vague update though, much has happened since the update before that I did share, they've been having some form of sex at least once a day and each time she gets more dominant and he gets more submissive to her.
Basically, in the update I didn't share, she convinced him to try new submissive things for her mixed in with some fantasy cuckolding.
He loved her reaction to him trying those things and she denied him cumming for at least the rest of the evening and she said she would make him cum when he came to her and told her how much he wanted her to fuck Brad. He came completely clean to her about it at the end of that evening and she said she suspected it but wasn't sure if it was wishful thinking on her part, she followed through with her promise and made him cum.
The following morning she tried telling him some of her fantasies, he told her he was turned on by them all.
She suggested he buy some femdom toys, they've used those already.
Cuckolding and Brad in particular always seem to be at the heart of their fantasy play.
They've reached out to Brad about it, he's onboard. They've had some exchanges with him as part of their fantasy play including exchanges of nudes.
She's suggested/decided that when he is ok with the idea without being horny first, he should let her know and she will deny him cumming until after it happens.
He thinks this could be soon, he says he now wants it to happen, just can't quite commit to it yet.
She still hasn't opened up about all of her fantasies but continues to drip feed them to him as and when she feels they're both comfortable with either trying them or accepting that they're going to happen.
It seems like she's taken to being dominant well and is using everything at her disposal to progress their situation.
As expected, he now primarily discusses his thoughts, feelings and fantasies with her, which he loves that he can do again.
He still shares their progress with me and she now knows about it but it's much less of a discussion and I expect the updates will become less frequent.
It seems crazy how quickly this transition has happened but most importantly they both seem happy, excited and very much in love.

[Whosbeensleeping]

He wasn't keen on letting me share the last update I prepared.
I'll give a general and deliberately vague update though, much has happened since the update before that I did share, they've been having some form of sex at least once a day and each time she gets more dominant and he gets more submissive to her.
Basically, in the update I didn't share, she convinced him to try new submissive things for her mixed in with some fantasy cuckolding.
He loved her reaction to him trying those things and she denied him cumming for at least the rest of the evening and she said she would make him cum when he came to her and told her how much he wanted her to fuck Brad. He came completely clean to her about it at the end of that evening and she said she suspected it but wasn't sure if it was wishful thinking on her part, she followed through with her promise and made him cum.
The following morning she tried telling him some of her fantasies, he told her he was turned on by them all.
She suggested he buy some femdom toys, they've used those already.
Cuckolding and Brad in particular always seem to be at the heart of their fantasy play.
They've reached out to Brad about it, he's onboard. They've had some exchanges with him as part of their fantasy play including exchanges of nudes.
She's suggested/decided that when he is ok with the idea without being horny first, he should let her know and she will deny him cumming until after it happens.
He thinks this could be soon, he says he now wants it to happen, just can't quite commit to it yet.
She still hasn't opened up about all of her fantasies but continues to drip feed them to him as and when she feels they're both comfortable with either trying them or accepting that they're going to happen.
It seems like she's taken to being dominant well and is using everything at her disposal to progress their situation.
As expected, he now primarily discusses his thoughts, feelings and fantasies with her, which he loves that he can do again.
He still shares their progress with me and she now knows about it but it's much less of a discussion and I expect the updates will become less frequent.
It seems crazy how quickly this transition has happened but most importantly they both seem happy, excited and very much in love.

Thanks for the update. Theirs is an interesting story.

[hubudig2]

Thanks for the update. Theirs is an interesting story.

So interesting, I'm glad you agree.
I wonder how many couples are in the situation they were in before, with an unsatisfying sex life but either they don't know why or are scared to change it.
Cuckolding seemed to be something they could both be inspired by, enjoy the idea of and share as a fantasy. Once they could be open about it, it brought them together and allowed their whole dynamic to find a new normal.
I always wonder why femdom relationships seem so extreme.
Is it just because it's only the extreme cases you hear about?
Or is it because it's only the extremely dominant women that realise their dynamic isn't right and/or set out to change it?

[4herpleasure89]

Interesting sharing. I am struck by how much your penpal is torn by conflicting feelings -- although I suspect all of us had them somewhere along the line. Clearly, he is very excited by the understandably arousing thought of his wife fucking another man because she wants to. There is an enormous power that comes with a woman's sexual desire and capacity that can thrill us no end. And then there is the dark side for him: a complicated melange of sickened feelings, feelings of inadequacy, and perhaps mistrust of his wife. He doesn't say what thoughts sicken him, although understanding those may be crucial for resolution.

From my own life experience, when I found myself immersing myself in thoughts of my wife having sex with another man. It was overwhelmingly erotic -- with nights I would stay up masturbating repeatedly for hours until there was no way I could get over the ridge to cum again and no more fluid to come out if I did. It was exhilirating, enthralling, and exhausting. Once she got around to telling me she had a professor she was in love with it, my jealousy surged, although I did not become angry at her (well, maybe a little sharp in my tone at one point). I had learned to convert my angry jealous arousal into erotic arousal. I had spontaneously learned to eroticize my jealousy. I also tried to learn everything I could about jealousy. I found most helpful Nancy Friday's excellent book called Jealousy. Two thoughts spoke to me: Jealousy is more about ourselves than about the other. And I identified the pain point as thoughts that if she had sex with her love object, I would lose something. On self-questioning, I realized I could not identify what it is I would lose. And by letting go of that toxic automatic thought, I found that my jealousy, anger, and pain went away. They went on to have a sexual love affair, openly, and I found that indeed if there were something I lost I sure couldn't see what it was. My wife continued to love me, want sex with me, and would come home from his place after fucking him to have sex with me. For a while, at least, everyone was getting what they wanted from the triangle. After several months, unfortunately, he decided he wanted her for his own, all of which led to the triangle ending when she refused to give me up for him.

That marriage ended for other reasons than lifestyle, and my current wife is a hotwife who loves to have me join in MFMs, although over the years we have slid back and forth between hotwifing and swinging.

When she has sex with other men, I am struck by how I do not feel I lose anything. I do not feel sickened, I am not angered, I am not upset in any way except when the guy has been a dud and not left her sexually pleasured. On balance, compersion has replaced jealousy.

I think your friend has more self work and self understanding to do. Until he understands his own conflicts and mixed emotional responses, he does not have enough information to go forward without taking impulsive action.

Very well written. For many years this was me. A proud happy unthreatened hubby of a hotwife. And then I wasn’t. And like the OP’s acquaintance, I suffered from conflicting feelings of sickness, fear and horniness. My wife never suggested any thought of leaving me, but the intensity of their sex, me getting older and his over stepping changed me mentally. I’m trying to get back to being a happy cuckold.

[zorro]

@4herpleasure
An overstepping FB can be very stressful, and hard choices have to be made when the wife intensely wants to fuck him.
Been there, done that. It's not always so easy to just issue a veto and pull down the curtain -- especially when compersion is a powerful driver.
A topic worthy of a separate thread.

[hubudig2]

Tonight she went all out to humiliate him and rob him of any dignity he had left.
She made it clear to him that he's her bitch and although she loves him very much and enjoys violating him and his submission to her, his tongue and her toy aren't cutting it for her anymore, she needs sexual satisfaction from a real cock and a real man.
She finished up by draining his balls and asked him how he felt. He told her he's ready, he wants to see her get what she deserves.
She said if he still feels the same way in the morning, she'll give him Brad's number and leave it up to him to arrange it.

[hubudig2]

He's messaged Brad, he'll be coming over tomorrow after work.
He can't believe it's actually going to happen but says he honestly feels no bad feelings towards it.
If he's not horny, he feels happy to allow her something she wants and needs, I guess that's the compersion zorro speaks of.
If he's horny, he finds it the most erotic idea he can think of.
He feels slightly jealous of Brad but accepts that Brad can give her what he can't and he knows he doesn't enjoy being dominant anyway.
So he's mostly just grateful that Brad is hopefully going to be able to give her what she needs and is excited to see what that looks like.
She's made sure he won't be cumming until after Brad has gone and is going to wind him up as much as she can before that.
She tells him it's never too late to change his mind but she feels like he's committed to his choice now and wants to help him stay committed.

[Bent_n_Twisted]

She's made sure he won't be cumming until after Brad has gone and is going to wind him up as much as she can before that.

Did she cage his cock? (Thinking about the 'femdom toys' you mentioned earlier.)

[hubudig2]

Did she cage his cock? (Thinking about the 'femdom toys' you mentioned earlier.)

Had to check he was ok with me sharing.

Yes she did.
She caged him during their session last night, before draining his balls...
She also told him she can't imagine she'll ever suck his cock again.
She said blowjobs can be something that he watches her give to guys with worthy cocks.
She suggests these things in a way that makes it seem like it was his idea, I think that's her way, she gets off on that.
Same for arranging Brad, she wants it to be his (the husband's) decision, his idea, him that arranges it.

[hubudig2]

He's starting to freak out a bit, he imagines it's just the normal amount for what's about to happen.
He says it's not in a bad way, he's just really nervous/anxious.
Both his wife and Brad have been messaging him throughout the day.
They've been exchanging looks at work and enjoying the sexual tension but she refuses to engage in anything she shouldn't until he comes over later.

He says the "curse" must be complete because he feels like he's fully embracing his situation now.
He can remember how he would've felt about this situation years ago and can't believe how such a transition has happened, but it has.

[hubudig2]

They agreed to remove his cage before Brad turned up as long as he promised not to touch himself and especially not cum.

When Brad turned up, his wife was still getting ready for a while so they had to make awkward small talk.
It felt so strange to him, Brad was the guy he had previously wanted his wife to avoid at all costs whenever he'd seen him before and now he was looking forward to gifting her to him.
She came in looking hot in a tiny dress (I've seen photos of her, she's stunning).
There was an obvious seat next to Brad but she sat with her husband, she kissed and cuddled him for a bit before they agreed she should sit with Brad.
Brad put his arm around her and tried to kiss her, she insisted on no kissing, this put her husband at ease to see that they weren't all over each other.
She reached for his cock, stroking it over his clothes, making it hard.
Brad started taking his clothes off and eventually revealed his big cock, the husband said it was intimidating to see a cock that big for real with his wife playing with it.
She got on her knees before him and called her husband over.
She kissed her husband while stroking Brad's cock before eventually giving into the urge to suck his cock.
She was only sucking it slowly but he could tell she was in heaven to finally have his big cock in her mouth.
She took her mouth off it and returned to kissing her husband while stroking Brad's cock.
Her husband took her dress off, she wasn't wearing anything else.
She resumed sucking his cock, faster and sluttier this time. Brad took the opportunity to play with her tits as they bounced around.
He then took her hair in his hand and assisted in thrusting her head on his cock.
The husband noted that this looked so natural to Brad but had felt awkward when he tried a week or so ago.
He said seeing his beautiful wife submissively sucking another guy's big cock was so surreal but the hottest thing he'd ever seen.
He wasn't jealous, he said watching this was better than receiving a blowjob himself.
She told her husband to lay down and lick her.
He laid beneath her, his head between her knees and licked her already wet pussy as she sucked with more and more enthusiasm.
He was thinking about how her pussy was moments away from being fucked by Brad's big cock.
He realised he had absolutely no reluctance for that to happen. He was fully looking forward to it.
He could just about see her sucking him as he licked her, she was fully into it, he'd never seen her so into a blowjob like this.
Brad was laid back in the chair, casually, having her worship his cock like she'd done it for him a million times before.
This blowjob went on for a long time, he would stop licking sometimes or she'd shift her hips and have him lick her ass instead.
Eventually, she wanted to fuck, she got on top of Brad and lowered herself onto his cock, facing him.
The husband watched in awe of what his cock was doing to her, she had never looked in so much pleasure as she tried to take more and more of it inside her. He was so tempted to jerk off, it was instinctive to him that he should but he resisted.
Not long after taking all of his cock she was cumming, she collapsed onto Brad's chest and recovered for a while.
She rolled off him, sat on the edge of the chair, spread her legs and instructed her husband to lick her, she was properly juicy, he had to lick up the messy excess.
Brad took her aside and began to fuck her missionary, before picking her up, fucking her as he held her and then from behind.
She came multiple times and her husband usually licked her after each.
After fucking for what seemed like hours, she asked Brad if he was going to cum, she was getting sore. He said he could, he positioned her on her back again and fucked her with even more enthusiasm for probably another 10 minutes.
The husband found himself worried that Brad might not cum, he really wanted him to cum in her, he needed to see it for some reason.
Brad began to grunt, thrusting hard and deep into her as he unloaded into her pussy.
She came as he did so.
They lay there motionless and exhausted for a minute or so.
The husband knew to be ready for when he pulled out, he had never done this before but had imitated it so many times.
As Brad pulled out, the husband dived in eagerly, she was overwhelmed with pleasure almost instantly and entered into another orgasm.
Licking cum was a bit of a shock, having imitated it so many times without the cum, it took some getting used to but he was surprised by how much he enjoyed it and felt the need to do it.
Brad started to get dressed, she asked if he minded leaving them alone, she said she'd talk to him later, thanked him and told him she enjoyed it.
After he left, they shared a happy intimate moment as they cuddled.
He got on top of her and began to experience his first sloppy seconds.
They had slow love making sex, he couldn't go much faster without cumming.
Eventually he couldn't resist going faster and filled her with his load.

He said the whole experience couldn't have been better.
She had showered him in love from the moment he made the decision to invite Brad over.
He never felt jealous. Them not kissing helped that but it definitely looked like "just sex".
It was like watching her with her dildo but much better and without having to imagine the rest of it which was perfect.
She said she felt so sexually satisfied and they both felt even more in love and connected because of it.

I never imagined this would happen so soon but I guess everything was lined up ready to go. As soon as they opened up to each other and she could reassure him so he was ok with it, there was nothing to wait for.
There is always the possibility I've been fed a story, I always have to consider that with these things but either way, it was a hot story that I enjoyed hearing so much about, I'm sorry I couldn't have shared more and that it was all 2nd hand.
All 3 of us are grateful to the experiences and advise everyone has shared here.