How I Manage the Lifestyle -from an experienced Bull

[skiandflyguy4u]

I'm not sure where to start, but I have felt a need to blog/journal about this for several months...All of this is true. NO b.s.!!
I'm in my mid-50s, fit and ht/wt proportional. Yes, some gray hair, too. During a marital separation I decided to "get out there" and explore-again- the Lifestyle I had enjoyed a few years prior. So, last summer I made a profile on one of the popular Swinging dating sites. Being a single guy on one of those sites can make you feel like a small fish in a big pond. I was pleased to have an inquiry from a couple close by within a few days. We exchanged information and I understood that she was playing with her hubby's permission. Nice. When we met for coffee, I was stunned at how attractive she was in real life. Being summer and quite warm, neither of us had on multiple layers of clothing. We chatted easily and decided to go someplace private and discuss things further....She ended up riding my cock to multiple orgasms for each of us in the back of her minivan, going home with a pussy full of my cum. I've been seeing her about once a week since last summer. Amazing!
Within a month I had e-mail on the site from about a dozen couples and 2 single women. After meeting about half for coffee or drinks, by mutual decision I'm seeing 4 other women, 3 of them married and one single. I see the 2 of the 3 other married women while their husbands are there. As for the first woman who plays with hubby's permission- He's a nice guy and has medical issues that inhibit erection-plus he loves the idea of another guy screwing his wife's brains out. Nice!

I've made a few faux pas during my time in the Lifestyle. Here's what I've learned while having a great time: First- Keep it real. People have other lives besides the Lifestyle. Be relaxed and not demanding of their time. Seeing people more than once or twice a month is rare- In my experience. Don't forget, YOU have another life, too. Second- Respect everyone's limits and sensitivities. Third- Communicate. Find out what the WOMAN wants and work from there. If she wants her hubby to watch and jack off, be ready for that. If she wants to be the Exhibitionist, play along and put on good show...ASK what she wants to do, have done or be a part of. Fourth- Be polite, but not mushy and too sweet. Five- Keep in regular contact with people and be honest about your availability. Six: Last but not least--- Do NOT be jealous, possessive or emotionally clingy. If you tend that way, PLEASE find another hobby. The Lifestyle/Swinging is very good for many people, but if you aren't cut out for it, relax and move on.

I welcome comments from others who are sincere about making this a great part of their life, too.

[sdbuffalo]

Thank you for sharing.

When I saw:

"I welcome comments from others who are sincere about making this a great part of their life, too."

I hoped that others would add comments wrt their experiences. But, it seems that we are Library wise, and only whisper over here (so as to not wake the Liberian?).

I see that your entry has been viewed 266 times at the present. There are so many careful observers here reading the boards, that I just expected more replies, outlining their experiences on both sides of the hot wife (and of the lifestyle).

Thanks everyone. hw

[Paul_Pines]

Excellent introduction for the prospective lover.

I would add one more to your list: Be aware of the cuckold, and what he needs/wants, too. You may not be able to fulfill all of his desires, but keeping the cuckold "satisfied" will lead to him helping you continue your relationship with his wife.

My wife's lover always takes 15 minutes or so to talk with me after they are finished. When I thank him, he says it's the least he can do to thank me for bringing my wife to him. Not only do I get my jollies from that, I can assure you it makes me his #1 ally in finding another date for them.

Yes, communication is the key - all around.

Sincerely,

Cuckold Paul

[skiandflyguy4u]

Thanks, Paul! I could not agree more about maintaining a good relationship with the husband/boyfriend. Sound wisdom.

[alexd4fun]

Great post. Item 3 is really important. Remember this is their fantasy island, the bull/guy is there to help them "make it so."
A lot of the couples I talk to want to try 3some or sharing her but are scared off by thee emphasis on heavy cuckolding, domination and humiliation, that some sites and stories have. Once they realize that I am a gentle, sane, safe, guy and willing to respect their limits, rather than impose my agenda on them, then they relax and either enjoy themselves.

Third- Communicate. Find out what the WOMAN wants and work from there. If she wants her hubby to watch and jack off, be ready for that. If she wants to be the Exhibitionist, play along and put on good show...ASK what she wants to do, have done or be a part of.

[SingleLothario]

Just curious .. I see you are you in your mid-50's.

What age ranges of women/cpls typically seek out your services? Are most of them around your age or 40+?

I've always wondered what the demand for single males over 40 is, since a lot of wives seem to be going for the cougar/cub thing.

What has your experience been like?

[Hotwife_Mustang]

I've always wondered what the demand for single males over 40 is, since a lot of wives seem to be going for the cougar/cub thing.

What has your experience been like?

(Crash)

I'm an older woman (early 50s) and I really prefer men over 40. I've had lovely experiences with men in their 50s. Particularly with cuckolding play, the third needs to be sophisticated, mature, and sensitive to be able to intuit what the couple wants and respond accordingly. Being a "bull" must be a very challenging role, but I image those who are successful really love it!

Mustang

[Wifesharing]

I think the demand for bulls over 40 is very high. I mean sure a hard bodied youth hard fuck from a stud all night might be fun forthe wife, I have met very few youger guy that have any clue as to how to be a good bull. Older men typically havea better chance of understanding and giving us as a couple the whole picture which is so much more important then the sex alone.

[skiandflyguy4u]

It's been fun reading the replies since I started this post. Thanks for everyone's input!
I'm 56 now and had my first HW experience in my early 40s. Only one of the women I've met over the years has been under 30. I much prefer women who are 40+. 2 gals I see now are 62 and hotter than ANYONE I met in my 20s! On another note: I stay fit and that helps. Stamina is important and most women want longer lasting sex and are a bit disappointed if you are done for the night after 20 minutes. Embrace oral sex and get good at it! If you haven't had a vasectomy, get one! Everyone over 30 gets or has some wrinkles. And, we all appreciate folks who are healthy and ht/wt proportional..but a little extra padding is fine for most people. Relax and have fun!

[skiandflyguy4u]

Here's part of a reply I made to a FB in the DC area...Enjoy!

Back when AOL had "personals" it was like shooting fish in a barrel to find wives/couples that wanted to get together. (Mid to late 90s) Being a pilot and having a room was especially exciting to some women and I took full advantage of it. First off- I was never crude, rude or pushy. All of the women whose personal ads I answered left nothing to the imagination as to what they wanted. Photos were exchanged, phone calls made and if we both felt comfortable, we'd meet in the hotel bar or nearby for a drink and to chat. One of my most memorable HW encounters is named Linda. Her hubby is Kurt and he had a fantasy about her being fucked then returning home to him...She is a lawyer, a sharp dresser and a wildcat in bed. The first time we met, we spent about 15 minutes chatting and could not wait to get into my room. It was passionate and hot. She had on nylons and a garter belt with a lace bra under her conservative business suit. As she stood before me she said, "Kurt thinks I look very fuckable." I totally agreed! She went home a bit after midnight with a load of cum in every hole she could take it. Amazing woman. I met her solo 4-5 times on layovers and in 2004 we got Kurt to come and watch us. After 3-4 times of him watching, he did join in- getting sloppy seconds in her pussy while she drained me orally. Very hot!

I met a couple flight attendants on the job. We used to fly as a common crew for a month and you would get to know the rest of the crew pretty well. If you clicked with someone, it was easy to spend the night together- but you had to be VERY careful and never push as sexual harassment looms in the background. One flight attendant I did meet on the job- Liz, was a bit older than me, single and a bit of a flirt. Nice. Over the course of 2-3 months we flew several times on the same schedule. I asked her to dinner on a layover-along with several other crew members, but everyone else said no..so it was Liz and I. It was a long layover, so we could have a glass of wine and, well...one thing lead to another. That night I learned she loved oral, liked the taste of cum and LOVED being drilled in the ass. She's from Scotland, too, which makes her verbal expressions during sex a lot of fun! We've known each other for over 10 years and I make sure to see her when I am visiting Minneapolis.

As for meeting flight attendants on the job, I would suggest reading up on the airline you are flying on and where the company is at- how it is doing, etc...It's always a conversation starter asking an airline person how their life is going at work! You might try an adult dating site and see if there are any flight attendants looking to play within those sites, too...The quality of some layover hotels has gone down as companies look to lower costs..also a point of concern for aircrews.
Sadly, many flight attendants spend a lot of time in their rooms- they get in late and are either tired or don't want to venture out for safety...If you see a hotel restaurant or bar with several women dining together, it may be a crew of F/As there for "safety in numbers"...
One other thing you probably know...Don't let a wedding ring on her finger deter you from being friendly and charming! You and I both know some women- many of them post-menopausal- are really looking to explore their sexuality again. Nice.

[pasadena95]

Being respectful is very important. Sometimes it is tempting to be a little arrogant when you are screwing another man's wife, it is a power trip. But when you have had experience in both roles (bull and cuck), you realize that the husband is not necessarily weak or incompetent. Just like you, he enjoys giving his wife the pleasure of experiencing something extra-special.
Some of my wife's lovers have been my friends as well. Others I don't care for very much.
I don't believe I should be choosing her lovers. As long they treat her well and don't disrespect me, they are most fortunate to be enjoying her company.

[LAstyle]

Wow, thanks so much for sharing your experiences. Greatly appreciated! I am 32 and would like to explore the Bull side of myself at some point - good to know I have plenty of time. I'll keep my eyes open...

[skiandflyguy4u]

It's been a long time since I updates this posting, so I thought I'd toss out a couple thoughts and experiences for all to ponder and comment on. ...As for the first woman I mentioned in my original post, we are still seeing each other and have become very close friends. I think it's human nature to move beyond the bedroom in a FB/HW relationship if you are seeing each other over a long period of time. I feel this is especially true if you are "mature"- as in over 40 or so- and have many life experiences to share. At some point, it may seem nature for a FB/HW relationship to become "exclusive" to each other...How many other Bulls out there have opted to focus on just one HW partner? I'm interested in hearing any other stories....Also, The woman I've been seeing may be open to swinging as a couple, but her hubby may not be real keen on the idea...Any thoughts?

[Rodolfo]

Terrific series. I very much appreciate the reciprical civility it displays. I began my life as a lover of wives at an early age. My friends Nancy and Paul who I had met at 22 in a photography class were very friendly and engaging. One night Nancy showed up at my apartment and asked if she could come in, which I of course being a gentleman I was glad to do. I poured us some wine and asked what she was up to, I did not see it coming. She said that she and Paul had been talking and they agreed that the idea of her fucking me sounded exciting.

I didn't quite spit my wine accross the room, but nearly. It had never crossed my mind. I was, and am into a respectful approach to everyone - which has held up very well in the making friends department. But now she had blown thecork off that. Nancy was a near 6 ft. tall Norwegian goddess. Long legs, blonde hair, a lovely face behind her scholarly glasses. I told her that she was lovely and I appreciated the offer, but that Paul was someone I admired and I couldn't do that to him. She said "he really wants you to!". All I could say was prove it......and she immediately called him.

Paul answered the phone and indeed told me that he loved the idea of his wife coming home dripping of hot sex with me in particular. Damn. I had to have asked him three times if he was sure. Each time he said "oh Yeah, we both like this idea and think you are the perfect guy." At that point (1970's Ann Arbor graduate school right??) I had to agree that I was liking the idea alot! Nancy and I had an incredible 4 -5 hours of delicious, slow, hot, fast, upside down sex and there has been no regrets from that time on. Paul couldn't stop grinning the next week at our class, and I swear he thanked me , and shook my hand several times. Nancy and I met a few more times with the highlight being tantric sex naked beside, and in a beautiful Michgan lake that lasted nearly all night.

What's not to like? Since then I must have had open, honest sex with at least 12 wives. I'm not on a mission, I have a life, career, family (including a wife who has come to appreciate this particular part of my personna), and occasionally everything comes together for an experience.

That's a long look back. I hope to particpate in this forum more often after a hiatus (career demands). I really enjoy the sharing from you all.

[Frontrange]

Great thread here. I have been a Bull for about 14 years now. I started in my early 30s and have enjoyed a wide variety of hotwife/cuckold couples. All are different. I will post some of my experiences soon. I have also had my wife start seeing other men for her enjoyment. She has done this for the past several years now and has surpassed me easily with the experiences she has enjoyed.

[sexy_nik]

very helpful insight. Thanks all for sharing.

[Buttercream]

I think that is a great bunch of ideas. It's too bad more single guys can't read this as they are entering the lifestyle. Especially about asking what the woman wants!

[markybull_uk]

Hi all

I am another Bull in his early 50's. No I will rephrase that as I was told by a lady on here within days of coming on here that us Brits prefer FB. The ladies wishes are always respected.

So I have read my fellow gentleman FB''s from across the pond and totally agree with all of them especially the treatment of a ladies husband.

Too many guys think that just because a wife plays that her hubby does not have a saying the matter. They forget that a lot of hubbies vet their wife's dates. You have to get past him first.