My wife is getting close to her first affair.

[jguy]

Well, we talked about me being involved. She said when he comes over I can hang out until they go in the bedroom, when they are ready for me to come in and watch them, she will call me but I am not allowed to make one noise or to touch them.
She said she thought it would be very hard for me to watch them fuck, but I am very excited to be a part.
She agreed i could stroke myself as long as I didn't get close to the bed.

I'm so excited! I can hardly wait for him to show up!

[parklife]

I’m going to second what Farmgirl said and also validate that’s it’s perfectly normal and nothing at this stage raises a red flag for me either.

As you said, it’s new… both of you are finding your way thru this. I commend you for not saying something you could regret in the future as I think that’s important. It’s even more important to talk thru your feelings. Not your feelings of jealousy per se, obit your desire for involvement and what ultimately is behind that, your desire/need for validation and reassurance.

I will warn that validation/reassurance will NOT come from watching them. Will it be hit? Maybe, perhaps even enthusiastically yes. But, could your feelings of being an outsider increase and could doubt/jealousy/questions further dig a place into your mind? If you have a hard time hearing about your wife possibly being too intimate, why do you think you could see it happen in front of you?

I remember these feelings with my wife’s first FWB. She fell had with infatuation… they dove in deep into the sexual chemistry and often I felt a bit lost and an outsider as well. I questioned where I fit. We had some real Heart to hearts…. I expressed my desires to feel closer to her and she reached out and gave me the assurance of our relationship. For some on here that may remember, it wasn’t always the smoothest of roads and, frankly, I took a lot of flack here from people that thought I was dooming my marriage letting things play out the way they did. But, as FArmgirl said, only you know your marriage and thru conversations with my wife I knew more and more about it and we figured out a scenario that works for us.

Share your feelings…. Not in a way that scares her away from being a hotwife because she thinks you can’t handle wit but it’s n a way that makes it clear what you need for reconnection and reassurance. For me, it was a desire for her to have more than one FWB because I thought that would somehow be “safer”. It wasn’t and we’ve since gotten past that idea but at the time, it helped move us along.

8 or so years later and I’ve still never been in the same building as her when she’s with a friend and while we talk and tease about it during our own intimacy from time to time, I’m not sure it’ll ever happen. I know I’d be ok with it now and would handle it well, but I’m just as sure that early on, i wouldn’t have been able to watch. Not because of jealousy, I don’t have a jealous bone I my body, but because of my insecurity early on. Don’t rush into watching thinking it’s going to be a cure. Make sure you are addressing the real issue that has you worked up.

[slenderfish]

Well, we talked about me being involved. She said when he comes over I can hang out until they go in the bedroom, when they are ready for me to come in and watch them, she will call me but I am not allowed to make one noise or to touch them.
She said she thought it would be very hard for me to watch them fuck, but I am very excited to be a part.
She agreed i could stroke myself as long as I didn't get close to the bed.

I'm so excited! I can hardly wait for him to show up!

It's very new and your inclinations to let her enjoy first, then deal with your feelings, is spot on. This is a place where you can really mess it up. Your feelings come with this territory, and of your needs are real. But her NRE is going to drive her and you should let her have her cake. That's what you wanted.

Well, to be more accurate, you probably wanted the sex part for her, and she wanted the desired/feelings part (and the sex follows). Now you are catching feelings and are having to deal with them. Your solution is back into the sex part, and that's terrific, but as Parklife noted above, the feelings part may really ramp up for you. Be ready.

Perhaps you can game it out with your wife in advance, as to what you might do, and that whatever you do, you will let them be and also assure her that you will be okay. For example, if it gets too intense for you, then you will quietly excuse yourself from the room without any fanfare. That she need not jump up and chase you out to reassure you, or anything like that. Your role is quiet observer, etc.

Back to the prior subject, your present feelings. It's not wrong to mention that you do exist, that you support her fun, and that you also want to have some of your own cake, if possible. That you are in this as a together adventure. Seems like you have made good progress on this front.

Just keep it as her thing, her fun, her candy, and that you are supportive and will participate at the level a) you like and b) she can accommodate.

Looking forward to hearing how it all goes.

[jguy]

I think you two were right, I probably shouldn't have been there to watch another guy turn my wife on, and take her into our bedroom and fuck her. I don't know if I can tell the story. Maybe later I can, but it was really hard for me to witness my wife liking another man so much. Seeing here walk away from me with him, holding his hand, and shutting and locking the door behind them, and hearing her scream in pleasure in our bed. It is too much for me to talk about at the moment.

[anonymister1948]

Has your wife been posting on Reddit? There's a wife there that tells this same story from her perspective.

[Pecannut]

Just talk with her about your feelings and insecurities. I'm sure open and honest discussion helps. All the best!

[jguy]

Has your wife been posting on Reddit? There's a wife there that tells this same story from her perspective.

I don't know. I guess it's possible. What name does she use?

[jguy]

So, the other day Ethen showed up, 30 minutes early.

We ended up going into the living room and she sat on the couch with him and I sat on the chair next to the couch. Her legs were curled up with her knees on his lap.

He made a couple jokes about me really living there since he never seen me there before, and they were talking with their faces practically on top of each other. Things got a little quiet and she put her hand on his face and started kissing him on the mouth. And they kissed each other and exchanged tongues putting each other‘s tongue in the others mouth, my wife’s face was covered in saliva and her lips were into his lips like I’ve never seen her kiss me before. She would stick her tongue out and wait for him to touch it with his tongue or to suck on it with his mouth.
This went on for quite a while where he had his hand on her face or in the back of her neck and she had her hand on his chest.
Probably 15 minutes into it she started moaning she started moaning while they were kissing.
Her hips started moving like I could tell she was so turned on from his mouth. She moved her hand further down and sliding her Hand down and started rubbing on his shorts. She moved her hand down to his leg and slid it up his shorts. I could tell that she was stroking his cock under his shorts back-and-forth. They’re kissing slowed down and they more less just kept their lips touching each other.. Occasionally she would smile at him. I was absolutely devastated at first, but as I watched I got very turned on. I realized how much she likes him how much she enjoys being with him how much she enjoys being intimate with him not just having sex but making love. Finally, he laid her down on the couch and was on top of her. Her legs were spread like she was just ready for whatever he wanted to do, her hands going up and down his back holding the back of his neck. While he continued kissing my wife, he finally reached down and pulled her dress up and put his hand on her thighs then her pussy. she moaned she pulled down the top of her dress and pushed his head down to start licking on her nipples and for the first time in 30 minutes she looked at me. She kept looking at me for with her mouth open as he kept rubbing her pussy and sucking on her breast in front of me. Her breathing was so hard. then she just stared at the wall while he massaged her.

She pulled his shorts down his legs and was feeling his butt. His cock was completely erect, and it was so close to her pussy. My wife would lightly stroke it in different ways.
It was a liitle bigger than mine, and her hand looks so small and compared to his penis.
She would take her fingers and then rub his head. The whole thing was very sensual the way they were with each other.
She put her hand on his ass and pulled him down and rubbed his cock on her pussy, I couldn’t stand it anymore. The jealousy really came back. She was arching her hips and I saw a string of his pre-cum or her juice string between them.
His penis head was in my wife and she just stroked it up and down my heart was racing. I wasn't ready to witness a man’s cock in my wife.

I watched her licking and biting his neck and nibbling on his ear while her hand was directing his penis up and down her pussy.

She whispered something to him and they stopped, got up and she said to me they were going to go to the bedroom.

Then she took his hand and they walked away into the bedroom I heard them close the door and lock it.
I listened to them through the bedroom door as he fucked my wife. I heard her have a have two orgasms and say "please don’t stop, I’m coming",
I heard him say I’m gonna come. She told him to come in her, it sounded like he did. I kind of knew that she wasn’t going to invite me in there and I don't I wanted to anyway.

I thought they would come out after a while, but they didn’t and 30 minutes later I heard her moaning, and he fucked her again.

Sometime after that the bedroom door opened up, and the front door opened up and she said goodbye to him.

She asked me if I was OK, I told her yes. I was fine. but not really at all.
I was really turned on I think until his cock started penetrating her pussy. Then it was like reality hit.
Anyway, we talked in the living room after he left.
She told me how amazing he feels inside her, and "I didn't think I was going to stop coming"
She hesitated, then said "He has a really nice dick. I know I said I didn't think I would ever want to put it in my mouth, but he doesn't have sex with his wife, and he asked me to." I asked how was it? Her eyes got big and she smiled and said "Nice.."
Then she said "I really needed that, thank you for being ok with this"

[Whosbeensleeping]

Sounds like you did good.

[briggs]

Has your wife been posting on Reddit? There's a wife there that tells this same story from her perspective.

Would it be possible to share the link?

[jguy]

On a good note, my wife seems very into me this morning. We kissed and said good morning and had a nice time together as a couple. Makes me feel very good about everything. The bad things was that on her way out the door to go on her walk, I mentioned it has been a while since we had sex (3 weeks now). She said, "yeah.. we need to talk about that, maybe later tonight?" I'm a little worried if she is saying we can have sex tonight, or if she isn't planning on having sex with me. We've gone this long before, just not under these circumstances. I'm not going to be happy if she is cutting me off from sex. It's going to be a long day at work though wondering what she meant.

[superb101]

Generally, whether she is going to continue to have sex with you or not isn't something that would typically need a lot of discussion IMHO. I hate to be negative but that cannot be a good sign.

[tojanman]

how'd the conversation go?

[jguy]

I guess I'm not good at communicating with her concerning this subject because I don't know how to start the conversation or even how I feel about things. I miss her, I like being with her, but she is enamored with this guy to a point where it makes me very insecure.
We never had our talk. That night, he asked her to go to an Italian restaurant and I was asleep in bed and never heard her come in. I know it was after 1am, but she is so preoccupied now I don't feel like I can even talk to her.
She's on a date with him right now and she asked me if I could go down to the basement early on and sleep down there tonight. I don't know how to even respond to this. I would rather sleep in my bed with her, but I don't want to get into a fight over it either.

Please help..

[Mr1SexyGILF]

I guess I'm not good at communicating with her concerning this subject because I don't know how to start the conversation or even how I feel about things. I miss her, I like being with her, but she is enamored with this guy to a point where it makes me very insecure.
We never had our talk. That night, he asked her to go to an Italian restaurant and I was asleep in bed and never heard her come in. I know it was after 1am, but she is so preoccupied now I don't feel like I can even talk to her.
She's on a date with him right now and she asked me if I could go down to the basement early on and sleep down there tonight. I don't know how to even respond to this. I would rather sleep in my bed with her, but I don't want to get into a fight over it either.

Please help..

She is totally caught up in what is often referred to here as New Relationship Energy. In my opinion, you really need get the balls to have a calm, collected, honest conversation with her.

If you cannot achieve that level of communication with her, the situation is going to keep getting worse, and if they decide they are “In Love”, you could lose her to him.

Mr GILF

[superb101]

Have you considered getting a counselor for yourself? That might be a good place to start

[jguy]

I think it's just NRE. Until now, she hasn't had sex with another guy for over 10 years. I think she is really just having fun exploring herself sexually.

I heard them stumbling around a lot and laughing tonight. I walked up stairs quietly, I guess I just want to know what is going on. It's pretty dark and hard to see much, but I saw his head between her legs . Her ass was on the couch arm and she had one leg close to the ground with the other one up in the air. It's like they still had the house to themselves. I sat on the stairs and watched them, I'm not sure she was really into it cause she didn't move much. After a bit he stood up and it looked like he put his cock in her. She slid off the armchair onto the couch, and all I could see was her legs moving above the back of the couch.
She started coming and a heard him come too, probably in her.
Then she started giggling afterwards, and thanked him?

So, I walked back downstairs. I feel alone, but I was rock hard watching him fuck my wife. This time, I liked watching and listening to them fuck. It's a hell of a thing to watch your wife get fucked with her toes pointing up in the air while another man is pleasuring the woman you love so much.

[parklife]

As I mentioned before, I’ve never witnessed it aside from some videos my wife took of her first FWB. So, I really don’t know exactly what you’re going thru but I will say that my wife fell pretty hard into NRE with her first FWB and I do connect with those feelings of aloneness/questioning your place in the dynamic and struggles with how the reality plays out vs the fantasy in your mind.

All I can suggest is that you do a lot of self thinking, a lot of internal discussion with yourself, what you want out of it, what your motivations are and how you can best discuss them with your wife. You do need to speak with her and discuss some of your feelings. I don’t think you need to dump her with an emotional gut punch or necessarily go into every detail. Some of this is stuff you need to work on yourself. But, understanding where she is at with NRE, what you need as validation from her on the importance of where you fit and how they can both commingle into a happy place to explore should be your priority.

If it’s too difficult to be there (for now) explain that to her and find reasons to be away. If you feel awkward between being turns on and alone, explain that to her and suggest talking about ways you can feel connected again. Yes, you need to communicate but you also need to work on this internally and figure out how it fits into your world.

[jguy]

It's so hard talk to her. She's always nice to me, she tells me about her day, her garden. I feel like I still have a good relationship with her. The one time I tried to bring it up I ignorantly mentioned she was doing things we agreed wouldn't happen, and she wasn't being upfront with me about him. (I've caught her in a few lies, but I didn't mention I knew better.) I know, stupid to say this, but it goes south, and she always say, "you're the one that pushed me towards him", or "you're the one who told me to go have drinks with him" - " I told you this was a bad idea me being alone with him".
The thing is, I want her to have sex with him but I want her to still want me too. She does still love me, and she says Ethan really doesn't have anything interesting to say, just makes her laugh.

So here is where is gets bad.
After last night, I mentioned that she said I could come in the room and watch, and then she never texted me to invite me in. I said "and we were going to talk about having sex together also."
She said "If you want, I would like you to come in afterwards and pleasure me once he leaves?" I said, that would be nice to reconnect with you afterwards.
She said, we can't really have sex right now. because I asked him to not have have sex with his wife, and he expects the same.
I said "You want me to go down on you after he comes in you, is that what you are asking?"
She said, "maybe, if you want?" I told her I'd think about it, but that, to me, is very nasty. I couldn't ever do that and it seems messed up that this is where I fit in.

Anyway, sorry to mention this, I'm sure everyone is grossed out now, but it was brought up.

[jguy]

I guess I'm not good at communicating with her concerning this subject because I don't know how to start the conversation or even how I feel about things. I miss her, I like being with her, but she is enamored with this guy to a point where it makes me very insecure.
We never had our talk. That night, he asked her to go to an Italian restaurant and I was asleep in bed and never heard her come in. I know it was after 1am, but she is so preoccupied now I don't feel like I can even talk to her.
She's on a date with him right now and she asked me if I could go down to the basement early on and sleep down there tonight. I don't know how to even respond to this. I would rather sleep in my bed with her, but I don't want to get into a fight over it either.

Please help..

She is totally caught up in what is often referred to here as New Relationship Energy. In my opinion, you really need get the balls to have a calm, collected, honest conversation with her.

If you cannot achieve that level of communication with her, the situation is going to keep getting worse, and if they decide they are “In Love”, you could lose her to him.

Mr GILF

I don't know why I'm such a wimp about talking to her. I haven't felt this insecure since high school. Everyone says have a talk with her about how we all fit in together, but when I'm alone with her, she is happy and I guess I don't want to rock the boat.

[jguy]

One other thing I've been considering. I'm going to catch a lot of slack for saying this, but I'm thinking about having sex with another girl to help me with my insecurities and jealousy. I think it would help knowing that I'm doing the same thing too.

[tojanman]

Jguy I just want to say that in (my version of) a hotwife relationship, there is a main couple and a secondary couple. The main couple should always come first. They communicate, set boundaries and make decisions together. The main relationship is supported and enhanced by the secondary relationship.

Based on the above statement, do you think that your wife is treating her relationship with you as the main or secondary relationship?

You need to have a serious conversation about where you stand in this triangle. Because it sounds like she’s treating you more like a cuck than a hotwife husband. And it’s sounds like that’s not what you want.

Also cheating won’t make things better. It’ll only serve to inflame your jealousy and anger your wife.

[jguy]

I guess I just feel betrayed.It seems like she forgot about her husband in all this

[tojanman]

Both the hotwife and the husband should be getting a form of enjoyment out of the extramarital affair. Some level of understanding needs to be afforded to your wife as she adjusts to the intense emotions shes feeling right now, but she and her lover are making BIG decisions that are affecting you, ignoring your hurt feelings and literally pushing you to seek emotional comfort elsewhere besides your wife.

You have not been able to reclaim your wife once since Ethan planted his flag! She having big emotions, but so are you. And she's not doing her part to remind you that you are still the primary partner.

[Mr1SexyGILF]

I guess I'm not good at communicating with her concerning this subject because I don't know how to start the conversation or even how I feel about things. I miss her, I like being with her, but she is enamored with this guy to a point where it makes me very insecure.
We never had our talk. That night, he asked her to go to an Italian restaurant and I was asleep in bed and never heard her come in. I know it was after 1am, but she is so preoccupied now I don't feel like I can even talk to her.
She's on a date with him right now and she asked me if I could go down to the basement early on and sleep down there tonight. I don't know how to even respond to this. I would rather sleep in my bed with her, but I don't want to get into a fight over it either.

Please help..

She is totally caught up in what is often referred to here as New Relationship Energy. In my opinion, you really need get the balls to have a calm, collected, honest conversation with her.

If you cannot achieve that level of communication with her, the situation is going to keep getting worse, and if they decide they are “In Love”, you could lose her to him.

Mr GILF

I don't know why I'm such a wimp about talking to her. I haven't felt this insecure since high school. Everyone says have a talk with her about how we all fit in together, but when I'm alone with her, she is happy and I guess I don't want to rock the boat.

You Sir, are actually living the fantasy of multitudes of men who would give anything to have their wife becum a Hotwife, and do the things your wife is doing.

I would suggest that you make an opportunity VERY SOON for the two of you to get away, just the two of you, a nice weekend away to reconnect and reset.

You will have to take the initiative to make this happen, and you will have to be quite firm with her, that this is absolutely essential to your future together.

I believe that somehow, you’ve got to reconnect with her. If you do not take a proactive role in how this is playing out, you could loose the Love of your Life.

Mr GILF