Not sure if I'm in the right place..

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Big steps forward for her. The physical reality of actually sleeping with a guy is a long way off I would imagine, but she certainly seems completely comfortable with the idea of dating men and using them in some form for her own pleasure. It's just finding the right guy.

Do be prepared that if she finds the right guy, things can move much faster than you realize. I've seen it happen many times and the husband is often caught off guard. Once we feel comfortable that we have our husband's full support, and meet the right guy, we can move swiftly.

So true, once my girl was into it, she moved us fast forward into hotwife then cuckoldry very fast when she started finding guys she wanted to date and have sex with. Not to scare you, as its a wild ride, just be a bit more ready for her to want more faster than shes letting on.

As you're both giving the same advice I hope you don't mind me responding to you both simultaneously. I am sure you're both 100% on the money with your advice. Going back over L's comments I was reading them as "This is unlikely to happen soon as the quality of men isn't up to her standards." But absolutely that can also mean "I'll be very happy to play with a guy when I meet the right one." And going off of a thread that is top of mind right now, w770 had that very experience.

I will take both of your comments to heart and try my best to be ready. I've been caught off guard a couple of times with Ls direct comments on the subject and I don't want to confuse her by giving mixed signals, that is extremely unfair to L. So I will make sure, if/when the situation arises, to be extremely positive and encouraging. Then sort out my feelings myself, with hopefully the help of this community. I'm already expecting the angst and anxiety, so that won't be too much of a shock, hopefully.

However my overriding feelings on that matter remain the same. I want L to enjoy exploring her sexual identity in a way that she has never been able to so far, I am comfortable with that. This community has already been extremely helpful in learning about and sorting out those feelings, I'm very thankful for it and all of you that have taken the time to reply on my thread. Even though it isn't as exciting as some of the other threads on this forum, yet.

[w770]

Read your story from the beginning. From my limited experience, I can say that it looks really promising. Have you considered watching porn together as opposed to just Literotica? When I was trying to introduce the idea to my wife, I would have her choose which clips to watch. Then add time progressed and I got a feel for what she was into, I started downloading a lot of clips that I thought she'd be into. It was an easing in process that took literally years.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Read your story from the beginning. From my limited experience, I can say that it looks really promising. Have you considered watching porn together as opposed to just Literotica? When I was trying to introduce the idea to my wife, I would have her choose which clips to watch. Then add time progressed and I got a feel for what she was into, I started downloading a lot of clips that I thought she'd be into. It was an easing in process that took literally years.

I'm honored you'd take the time to give my thread a read through. We have tried porn but L doesn't really like porn, she finds it too aggressive and can't stand the womens fake and over the top moaning. If she does watch it, she tends towards Korean porn which is lot more like sex scenes from movies and not so hard. She does like looking at creampies, though doesn't like the idea of hormonal contraception so I don't think she would ever let her lovers take her raw.

She is going away on business for a few days next week, I'm planning to plant some condoms in her luggage before she goes. Not that I expect her to use them, just to be playful and encourage her. The last story she found really hot was about a woman cheating on her husband while she was away on business.

[w770]

Read your story from the beginning. From my limited experience, I can say that it looks really promising. Have you considered watching porn together as opposed to just Literotica? When I was trying to introduce the idea to my wife, I would have her choose which clips to watch. Then add time progressed and I got a feel for what she was into, I started downloading a lot of clips that I thought she'd be into. It was an easing in process that took literally years.

I'm honored you'd take the time to give my thread a read through. We have tried porn but L doesn't really like porn, she finds it too aggressive and can't stand the womens fake and over the top moaning. If she does watch it, she tends towards Korean porn which is lot more like sex scenes from movies and not so hard. She does like looking at creampies, though doesn't like the idea of hormonal contraception so I don't think she would ever let her lovers take her raw.

She is going away on business for a few days next week, I'm planning to plant some condoms in her luggage before she goes. Not that I expect her to use them, just to be playful and encourage her. The last story she found really hot was about a woman cheating on her husband while she was away on business.

Condoms in her luggage is a great idea. How long will she be away? I've long fantasized of my wife having a moment of weakness with a coworker on a business trip but given that most of her colleagues are way too old, it's not a realistic situation. Maybe if your wife has more tenable colleagues, it may be a more realistic scenario?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Read your story from the beginning. From my limited experience, I can say that it looks really promising. Have you considered watching porn together as opposed to just Literotica? When I was trying to introduce the idea to my wife, I would have her choose which clips to watch. Then add time progressed and I got a feel for what she was into, I started downloading a lot of clips that I thought she'd be into. It was an easing in process that took literally years.

I'm honored you'd take the time to give my thread a read through. We have tried porn but L doesn't really like porn, she finds it too aggressive and can't stand the womens fake and over the top moaning. If she does watch it, she tends towards Korean porn which is lot more like sex scenes from movies and not so hard. She does like looking at creampies, though doesn't like the idea of hormonal contraception so I don't think she would ever let her lovers take her raw.

She is going away on business for a few days next week, I'm planning to plant some condoms in her luggage before she goes. Not that I expect her to use them, just to be playful and encourage her. The last story she found really hot was about a woman cheating on her husband while she was away on business.

Condoms in her luggage is a great idea. How long will she be away? I've long fantasized of my wife having a moment of weakness with a coworker on a business trip but given that most of her colleagues are way too old, it's not a realistic situation. Maybe if your wife has more tenable colleagues, it may be a more realistic scenario?

L will be away for 3 nights. I really don't see her playing with someone from a professional environment, her career and reputation means too much to her. Plus she has said that if she plays with a guy she doesn't want to see them again afterwards, I think it would present too much risk for her. But a handsome man she meets in the hotel bar? That's a maybe I guess. I think much like yourself and Lana (and as other people have suggested) it might happen fast once she meets the right guy at the right time.

[Carlbiinchicago]

Monalisa
Your story about your wifes friend and the open relationship is so sexy.

My hotwife story (also have an asian wife) didnt turn out so well because she had an affair.

Things are a little better now but she still has me cut off intimacy

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Monalisa
Your story about your wifes friend and the open relationship is so sexy.

My hotwife story (also have an asian wife) didnt turn out so well because she had an affair.

Things are a little better now but she still has me cut off intimacy

I'm very sorry to hear that, why did she cut you off?

[TheHammer]

Remind her to pack some clothes for going to the hotel or other bars at night.

Great Progress so far!

[Carlbiinchicago]

Hi. I think my wife and i got emotionally disconnected.

Slowly working on it again. It feels weird

[Whenwillshe]

This is developing into a very hot situation
Thank you for sharing and I hope your wife gets her itches well scratched and is fully satisfied.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Remind her to pack some clothes for going to the hotel or other bars at night.

Great Progress so far!

I will suggest she packs some sexy clothes for event dinners and maybe visiting the hotel bar if she is bored at the hotel.

Hi. I think my wife and i got emotionally disconnected.

Slowly working on it again. It feels weird

Sorry to hear that. Date your wife again, make her feel special and remember why you guys got married in the first place.

This is developing into a very hot situation
Thank you for sharing and I hope your wife gets her itches well scratched and is fully satisfied.

Thank you. I hope she does too.

Tonight is the night we hit a couple of bars togethers, actually the first time ever as she isn't a big drinker. We've decided not to take the vibrating panties, that thing is not descrete at all we tested it and could hear and feel it very obviously, we will have to find some other way to get creative with them.

I'm unsure how the night will go. The plan is generally to pretend we dont know each other and I just watch from a distance to ensure her safety, while she hopefully flirts and dances with some guys. I just imagine myself standing in a corner with a stupid smile on my face and obvious tent pole in my trousers. I have been thinking more today that maybe we should just present ourselves as a married but open minded couple and see who takes the bait. This would certainly help with my socialising as I'm a naturally intoverted guy.

I don't except us to be bringing anyone home tonight, I can't say I don't find the opportunity exciting though.

[whosbeensleeping]

Hope it's a great night.

[tit5atat]

The married open minded couple can work but will vary rarely yield results. It's hard to work that in. Her just flirting on her own will be fun for both of you. I would love to try this out myself someday soon.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Well it's the morning after and it was a fun night. There was no hotwifing action or flirting I'm afraid to say, some of you may be disappointed to hear that but L and I ended up enjoying each others company so much we just sat and talked about our lives and marriage. We went to the cbd and determined that as it's full of uni students that they are much to young for what we were after, it's the first time in a long time we've felt old!

The married open minded couple can work but will vary rarely yield results. It's hard to work that in. Her just flirting on her own will be fun for both of you. I would love to try this out myself someday soon.

We came to this conclusion. Either we will find another way for her to interact with men, or she will return to hunting with her partner in crime, Z. L did discover that she likes vodka and redbull, which counters her natural sleepiness when drinking, and Malibu. She will probably be more comfortable drinking when she goes out next time.

No sexual activity, but a great bonding evening for us. L told me about the time she almost lost her virginity to her ex-boyfriend but couldn't get wet, she tried to force it but ultimately he just wasn't the guy for her. She has never opened up to me about this experience before, I'm very happy that she did. I wonder if it was the alcohol that loosened her tongue or the fact that we seem to be still growing closer?

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

L just came back from a 3 day conference, I wrote about it in another thread but wanted to copy it here so it doesn't get missed from our story. I attempted to surprise her with a fresh pack of condoms hidden in her bag.

The conference went well, nothing happened with other guys. Funny story, I ended up telling her about the condoms before she went. The night before she asked me "What would you do if you found condoms in my suitcase after I came back?" So I told her to open her suitcase, she nearly died laughing when she found them. She really enjoyed the fact we can "read each others minds."

We had a hot conversation over text message her first night, she was horny and telling me how hot she would find it fucking other men and being their slut. Then coming home and telling me the details while I ate her pussy. She then told me she has taken her vibrator and wanted to name it, we settled on David. L proceeded to tell me about how David was making her cum and how much she enjoyed him.

[54321]

Great to hear how you two are not rushing. You're both just having fun with this and seeing how it develops.

54321

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Great to hear how you two are not rushing. You're both just having fun with this and seeing how it develops.

54321

Thank you. I haven't really mentioned anything about the LS since L came back from her conference. We have had sex twice. The first time I put a blindfold on her and tied her hands and then spent an hour just stroking her body, teasing her and working slowly from top to bottom. It was a 'normal' session for us in the sense that she was quick to use her vibrator to come and then basically let me use her body to finish off. She was tired from her trip and kinda just wanted to get the PIV over with.

The second time was last night. L got into bed naked, which is not her standard routine, and started snuggling and kissing. While we were working on the beginnings of foreplay she told me that I was her boss and spent the whole session being very verbal, which is also not routine for her. She described how she loved the secret and the danger and naughtiness of having an affair with "me" and how she enjoyed keeping it from her husband. We talked about how naughty she felt using her bosses cock and that when she got home she should have her husband eat her pussy and unknowingly taste her lovers cock. When she got close to the edge she pulled out David from her night stand and said, "lets have a threesome." I replied that I'd love to watch another man make her cum to which she replied "Then shut up and watch David do his job."

It was completely out of left field. L has never shown any interest in role play before, nor has she ever asked about it. Being pretty innocent sexually, I wasn't even sure L knew what role play was. But she certainly seemed to enjoy it. I am proud that I was able to roll with it, even if it caught me off guard initially, and was happy to help her verbalize this fantasy of hers however she wanted.

This morning she began texting me in character saying how it was too dangerous and needed to end. I was able to bring her back around with promises of a promotion at work and that I would keep her secret. She gave in when she admitted that she really loved the naughtiness and danger of fucking her boss. She just left for her usual Wednesday evening tennis session and told me her boss needs her to bring some files over after she is done.

Sorry to ruin the fantasy for anyone wondering but her actual boss is a middle aged lady that lives in a completely different city. But I really admire her commitment to the role

[Waltz86]

If you are willing to try hot wifing go for it easy steps. But I would like to point out what caused her to strugle in orgasm. It is the vibrator, because the clit had way nerve endings more than the vagina so if she stimulates her clit alot with either her vibrator or you do this by tongue it will end up eventually not orgasming without clit stimulation. This is why I do not lick the clit too much while giving oral.

[54321]

This morning she began texting me in character saying how it was too dangerous and needed to end. I was able to bring her back around with promises of a promotion at work and that I would keep her secret. She gave in when she admitted that she really loved the naughtiness and danger of fucking her boss. She just left for her usual Wednesday evening tennis session and told me her boss needs her to bring some files over after she is done.

54321

[Mr1SexyGILF]

Wow, what a shocking and positive development for you. I have suggested role play several times with no response. I’m extremely curious where she got the idea, if you two have not previously discussed this.

Mr GILF

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Wow, what a shocking and positive development for you. I have suggested role play several times with no response. I’m extremely curious where she got the idea, if you two have not previously discussed this.

Mr GILF

Yeah, it was an pleasant surprise. I didn't end up asking her because her period rolled around and that always puts a stop to any sexual activity. L likes to play the "what if" game with me, usually just to ask stupid questions while I'm dropping off to sleep. Two stand outs from this week are "What if you found out your wife was a whore and was having sex with men for money?" And another "What if Z and I had sex?" Z is her fun loving girlfriend that is in an open marriage.

I gave positive responses to both questions. L has had a lot of questions about her potentially having sex with a girl, she seems to find the idea interesting although doesn't have any sexual interest in girls at all. She's been raised in a culture that views all gay relationships as wrong, although she doesn't really feel that they are. Z has also never indicated (to me atleast) that she has any sexual interest in girls. I feel like she's just curious about what the differences would be.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

I thought I'd provide a little update.

L really seems to have really gotten quite used to the idea that I would let her explore her sexuality with other men now, she will tease and joke with me about it daily. In the beginning she admitted that she felt she had missed out on these experiences, she mentioned this to me on more than one occasion but through TV and meeting her friend Z we both realised there was a potential for her to explore these and still keep our marriage safe. After much soul searching on my part and conversations together, we both began to come around to the idea.

We were having a talk the other night and she mentioned that the one thing she fears now is the social ramifications, I said there didn't necessarily need to be any but I understood where she was coming from. L is Vietnamese and the concept of "face" is overwhelming in Vietnamese culture, how others in your community view you and your family. It's huge, almost a religion in many ways. People will go to massive lengths not to lose face in their community. It will probably require us to be very careful in who she decides to play with and when, in order for her to maintain security in this regard.

This morning she was leaving for an event she is hosting this weekend, no overnights though, she began teasing me about how she was an unfaithful wife. When she gets text messages late at night she will pretend they are from boyfriends and I'm not allowed to see the messages. I also asked her where she got the idea of role play about sleeping with her boss and she just said it was from porn, so that's that mystery solved.

I'm really enjoying her getting into the spirit of this LS (game?) and she seems to be really enjoying it too. I think probably it's only a matter of time before she meets someone and is in the right mood to at least flirt and let her guard down a bit.

Question for the community. There are a couple of LS or Swinger venues in our city, I'm thinking of asking her if we can go to one. I'm hoping that meeting others in the LS and having a chance to talk and get to know them, that she might see that people do live this life successfully without any social ramifications. I'm not thinking we will play or have sex, she will most likely be shocked at the things she sees there. I mostly think it might be a good chance for her to put her mind at ease in regards to losing face or being discovered. Does that sound like a good idea? Going in itself would be a huge step too.

[hwlurker88]

Big fan of your journey!

[DaveS]

I really am not expert enough on the subject to offer solid advice on the subject - my wife and I are poly (we each have other partners) but with a "hotwife accent" in that we have occasional FMF 3somes with her boyfriend, in addition to me watching them fuck now and then (they both like to show off) and her telling me juicy details later when I'm not around. That said, I would guess that it might make her more comfortable with the idea if she witnessed a number of "regular well dressed swingers" in a club socializing. My wife and I did go to a swinger nudist resort once - walked into a sex room where 4 other couples were fucking. I don't know if that would help or hinder your cause - but that was a swinger resort - not a swinger club.

I do look forward to seeing how your story develops.

[MonaLisaOverdrive]

Just thought I would provide a little update as a bit of time has gone by.

We have signed up to a local swingers website, but haven't had much time to post yet. In the next couple of weeks we will be taking some sexy photos and L will start poking around a little bit. L is also open but hesitent to go to a local swingers club, I doubt there will be much activity though.

We went to a bar last week and L was getting into finding some guys to dance with but a creep touched her in a way she didn't like and that soured the mood. I was very proud she told him to go fuck himself but we left soon afterwards.

We have had more roleplay in the bedroom. I put a blindfold on her then pretended to bring another man into the bedroom, we didn't end up going the whole way with it but it was fun and she was into it. I messed it up by talking too much next time she wants me to be completely silent while she imagines I'm her ex boyfriend, the unlucky guy never got to go all the way with her.

We have learned a couple of things that are really important. She is absoultely not comfortable with sleeping with strangers, whether she just hasn't met the right one remains to be seen. But I take her 100% at her word. The other is that the main thing holding her back is that we live in a small city, you can run into someone you know just about everywhere. She doesn't want anything to ruin her professional reputation. Going forward this will be our number 1 priority.

I believe that potentially we can find a balance though, keeping our circle small and meeting guys that respect this means she can hopefully find some reliable play mates. It's kind of at odds with her opinion that she also doesn't want to get to know these guys and just use them for sex. Anyone that can provide insight into this seemly opposite way of thinking would be wonderful. Not being comfortable to play with strangers, yet not wanting to get to know the guys she plays with. Only in a womans mind...

In our conversations around the topic she has told me that she would prefer to play on her own, she doesn't want me there. Primarily because she won't be able to relax and will be too worried about how I am feeling. While I greatly appreciate her concern for my feelings, I would prefer to be there. However, it's her rules and hopefully once we are both comfortable with each others feelings we can explore more together.

Lastly, she seems to joke and tease (test?) me on an almost daily basis with jokey "what if..?" questions. Here are a couple.
What if I came back from a weekend away and there was a nearly empty box of condoms in my suitcase?
What if a guy rang you on the phone and claimed to be my boyfriend?
What if a guy rang you and complained that I has used them for dinner and sex?
What if that guy told you he wanted you to divorce me?

She plays these off as just jokes, but I get the feeling she is testing my feelings a little. Opinions?

Anyway, this post went longer than I thought it would. I guess I had more of an update than I originally thought. As always happy to hear anyones opinions on how our situation is developing. We seems to have a pretty open line of communication on the subject now and it's getting easier and easier to talk about together.