I thought this line was pretty clearly worded for all native English speakers....but Jess is leaving next Friday in the early afternoon to meet her family for a spring break trip, so this will be her last Friday to go out dancing before she leaves.
To continue my thoughts from before now that I'm on a keyboard, before you invite Carlos you want to make sure you and Jess are on solid ground.
When you have upset her, has it always been because you were either dishonest/manipulative (e.g. trying to convince her to sleep with another man when you were forbidden from sleeping with her) or because you talked to someone else instead of privately with her (e.g. asking Carlos if he wanted to come over)? Do you feel you could be 100% open and honest with her about how you feel, and vice versa? It seems like you had some pretty deep conversations around the whole oral thing, so that's a start.
The reason why I asked that is because something that upset her when it was done dishonestly or behind her back should be OK to talk about. Some things you may want to think about being able to say to her:
- Can you tell her about things that would be exciting for you without it meaning you're trying to pressure her into doing that thing?
- Can you ask her how she is feeling about your relationship? Are you still happy being romantically and sexually exclusive with her, is she still happy being romantically exclusive but sexually free? Do you want her to be sexually free or do you want input into her lovers? Have you/can you tell her that?
As an example of this, my wife and I said we wanted to be always able to talk about how we're feeling without it having to mean we need to do something about it. We always said it should be OK to even have a feeling like "Wow, I don't even want to be married to you right now" and talk about it without it meaning that we have to immediately get divorced. Like, why are we feeling like that? What could we do differently? We've never actually gotten to that point but we regularly confirm it's OK to talk about difficult things without it needing to take on additional meaning beyond "This is a feeling I'm having".
If you are at that point, then it should be a good conversation to talk to Jess about inviting Carlos along -you can discuss all the above good suggestions from joel68 and others, like
"I of course will not be involved with anyone else. Do you want to know what Carlos gets up to or for me to keep that private?"
"If I'm friends with Carlos, what boundaries do you want me to have in conversations with him? I don't have a lot of guy friends I can talk to about stuff, and I have NOBODY I can talk to about my, um, non-standard sexual desires, so I'd like someone I can confide in but I don't want to violate your confidence or boundaries."