M+J in "Rogue Sum"

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veub
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Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by veub » Thu Jun 22, 2017 1:14 pm

Love it. Especially the final scene.

RugbyRaizo1991
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Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by RugbyRaizo1991 » Thu Jun 22, 2017 2:42 pm

Awesome Chapter, I just wish we could have seen the reaction from Jen with Mike comparing that to their marriage right in front of her, leaving her for Mel with not able to do anything but watch it happen and cry.

You put together some fine work here Fresh, I've enjoyed this 4 chapter run of yours more than I thought I would. It's nice seeing a Mike that isn't too much of Mike for a change. Final scene was funny

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legenf359
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Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by legenf359 » Thu Jun 22, 2017 2:54 pm

Good job Fresh Start, I was remained of Moorcock's Multiverse , maybe that should be Morecock in this instance where the same characters play out a multitude of different scenarios. Its tempting to try a swords and sorcery version on Mike Jen and Ricky, but seems like the Arthurian legends have that covered already Mike as King Arthur , Jen as Guinevere, and Ricky/Scott/Frankie as Lancelot.
And sticking with the sci-fi vibe to paraphrase Grant Morrison if your going to borrow ,borrow from the best.

FreshStart

Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by FreshStart » Thu Jun 22, 2017 3:34 pm

That night, Mike tossed and turned. He was feverish and his dreams disturbed him. He swore he could​ hear chanting:

"Erekosë! Erekosë! Erekosë!"
__________
"We are the champions!
"We are the champions!"

[Nope. This is the song by Bisso Na Bisso.]

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SamWarrens
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Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by SamWarrens » Thu Jun 22, 2017 7:28 pm

Fresh; Thanks for the hat doff! You are a great writer in the same league as the Great X!
Great minds may think alike, but fools seldom differ.

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legenf359
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Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by legenf359 » Thu Jun 22, 2017 10:59 pm

FreshStart wrote:That night, Mike tossed and turned. He was feverish and his dreams disturbed him. He swore he could​ hear chanting:

"Erekosë! Erekosë! Erekosë!"
__________
"We are the champions!
"We are the champions!"
LOL

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SamWarrens
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Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by SamWarrens » Thu Jun 22, 2017 11:08 pm

To the unimitiated, like me, what does that mean? How is it pronounced?
Great minds may think alike, but fools seldom differ.

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Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by slikpapa13 » Fri Jun 23, 2017 1:52 am

Thank you Freshstart for this little ditty. It's was fun to read an M&J tale with a different storyline. I'm sorry you ended it so soon but hope you continue to write on your own. For those looking for a good read, check out Joatster, he has two threads here on OHW, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", in its entirety, and "Ponytail: A Bull's Story", a work in progress told from the Bull's perspective and a sort of sequel to Don't Ask. He has more stories on Lit. The two here show what X said he wanted write as he began C&R, a "good" cuckold relationship, but didn't. In Joatster's stories the husband and wife talk, spend quality time together, respect each other, and there's lots of hot sex. I don't know the lifestyle, just what I read about it, and don't know if a good cuckold relationship is possible, but at least Joatster' tries and it's good reading. Enjoy.
Last edited by slikpapa13 on Fri Jun 23, 2017 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

FreshStart

Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by FreshStart » Fri Jun 23, 2017 10:57 am

Never explain a joke...but I guess I need to. I was riffing on legenf359's suggestion that the parallel universe of M+J is like Michael Moorcock's Multiverse writing. He (Moorcock) had a series loosely called, "The Eternal Champion" where a 'champion' (different names per location/time) was continually called upon across time and space to fight for balance between 'Law' and 'Chaos'. The author usurped other names outside of his writing as examples, like Ulysses and Roland. His most famous Moorcock incarnation was Elric of Melniboné. I was playing on a part from the book of the first champion--oddly enough called The Eternal Champion--where, best quoting from Wiki: "The Eternal Champion is narrated by John Daker, an inhabitant of 20th century Earth. At the beginning of the novel, his sleep is disturbed by dreams of other worlds and a repeated name: Erekosë. After many nights he understands that he is Erekosë and he finds the strength to answer the call."

So this Mike is the first intarnation [sic] of The Eternal Cuckold(?). Doomed through time and space to be humiliated by Jen because of his resistance in this particular story?

Buuuuuut. The last scene was supposed to make you think (as well as chuckle). Another reader sent me a PM saying that he was a "Mike and Mel shipper". So he got it. This relationship may not be a done deal. Mike DID show his Eternal Cuckold self and pissed her off. There are things I hope I can get to...in particular I have plans for that [redacted] Snotty...or whatever I have to call him in my new universe.

So much wine, so little time...oops...so many things to do, so little time.

(And no clue how the name is pronounced...)
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Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by lilford1965 » Sat Jun 24, 2017 3:15 pm

FRESHSTART----------------BRILLIANT !

Jimjam
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Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by Jimjam » Sun Jun 25, 2017 6:15 am

Great story Freshstart!

It was short, but covered a lot of ground developing the relationship with Mel. The surprises, twists, and the rise and fall of tensions were always present.

Your story brings up a good question, Do Cuckold desires fade? With Mike in the story, he did still like watching, but the normal cuckold/wife/bull turn-on wasn't there anymore.

While there's a hint of Mike and Jen, the story could have had any names for the main characters. Depending on the topic, you may have to choose a different venue for publishing.

Well done!

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Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by mikeandrewsballs » Sun Jun 25, 2017 6:36 pm

I'd love to comment. But. Two things.

One: The Cindster® always starts reading at chapter 5. Absolutely true. She figures, if it grabs her at that point, it's worth reading the rest. And you've ended after chapter 4. So she won't read it.

Two: I need The Cindster® to tell me what I think about the story.
:lol:
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Argent
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Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by Argent » Mon Jul 10, 2017 4:59 am

Thank you Fresh Start for this story.
I find most of the cuckold stories on the forum way too dark. They truly upset me.
I would have loved another chapter with Mike sorting out Scott and Jen (and perhaps revealing that Scott was involved in the attempt to take over sapphire - and telling him to prepare to talk to the cops) Jen then turning to Scott for a new beginning only to find him coming out with one of her lines like, 'I have a wife and kids and I can only spread myself so thin. I have to think of them too - and I don't need an extra drain on my resources - and I can't have stresses at work so you'd better look for another job and jump before you're pushed. You've been bringing the company into disrepute.'
Thanks again for the story and please write more - and continue to offer the more sensitive among us some welcome light.

Suchen Zucker

Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by Suchen Zucker » Sat Jun 23, 2018 9:03 am

This needed to be bumped for those who haven't seen it and are reading "M+J in “Mother, Father, Sister, Brother” by FreshStart".
I hope you keep writing FreshStart - we need more talented storytellers!

nonethewiser

Re: M+J in "Rogue Sum"

Unread post by nonethewiser » Sun Aug 26, 2018 6:53 pm

I just caught up and read this. I enjoyed it. FreshStart wrote a splendid tale that was more realistic than the tale it was based on and had a plot that advanced in a sensible way. I liked it. I think that one thing I don’t love is breaking down the wall and having the author explaining so much to the readers. Don’t get me wrong. Nothing wrong with it, but I like to absorb into fiction and sometimes. It a splash of cold water. Nice effort!

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