Our Hotwives

A place to discuss the hotwife and cuckold lifestyles
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Unread postPosted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 11:51 pm 
Virgin

Joined: Sun Jan 21, 2018 5:28 pm
Posts: 15
Everyone on this site has been fantastic when it comes to offering advice to the newbies.

My wife has moved pretty quickly. I told her my desire to add another man while I watch on January 7. We agreed to go at her pace and discuss the situation every Sunday. Our talks have been great and I could tell each Sunday she was getting closer. We've been through couples therapy and have a great communication style with each other.

We found the perfect guy on AFF we've exchanged some emails with... he's experienced, has three or four great comments from other couples so we know he's real, and he is very patient. On Valentine's Day, my wife informed me at dinner that she'd like me to reach out to our guy and set up an initial meeting for a drink. She felt this was the perfect day to tell me since we got engaged 30 years ago on Valentine's Day... what a great present! We are meeting him the first week of March.

She told me she had two main questions she wanted to discuss at this meeting...

1. Has our guy ever been with a couple where the wife was excited and definitely wanted to have sex, but was having issues with her husband watching.

2. What happens at the end of the encounter? How awkward is it? Does our guy just get dressed and leave? Does he hang around and chat?

We've let our guy know these are her two main questions and asked him to wait until we meet to discuss them.

Here's where I need advice... there has to be numerous questions we should be asking at our first meeting. Obviously, we need to talk about condoms... my wife hates them and there is no way she wants to use them. She totally gets off on feeling a man cumming inside her.

What other questions or topics should we be discussing at this first meeting? Thanks for you responses in advance!

NBayCpl


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Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:12 am 
Pervert

Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2016 9:18 pm
Posts: 559
Part of the discussion needs to be if there are any items or behaviors that are strictly off limits by any party. It is all about setting expectations so no one's feelings are hurt, and a second encounter is desired after.

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Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 9:44 am 
Pervert
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2015 9:48 am
Posts: 586
Location: Pittsburgh & San Francisco Bay
I'll take a stab as the second question. Each 'encounter' ends a little differently. If it was just sex, even good sex, when there was no real connection with him, yeah, it's just over, time to get your clothes on and take off. See you next time, everybody says, the way people say we've got to do lunch sometime.

But, if there was a personality connection and the sex was pretty good, he might hang around. Many is the time that we'd sit around, naked, with drinks or dessert and talk for an hour or more. Sometimes it turned into round 2.

It all depends on the guy, the situation. Like everything else, just go with the flow, it shouldn't be that awkward.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 9:52 am 
Experienced
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 05, 2016 6:52 pm
Posts: 249
I think part of the first meeting is also to see if there is chemistry. If there isn't any, then any further questions are not relevant.

My wife's first meetings were too see if there was chemistry, no playing. If there was, they would talk for a while.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:23 pm 
Virgin

Joined: Sun Jan 21, 2018 5:28 pm
Posts: 15
Thanks for the great replies. One more question... when it comes to STD testing. What's the normal time between their last test and meeting with you that you expect? Of course, we will provide our own tests. Neither one of us have had another lover for 30 years so we're a little out of the loop on this one.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 7:52 pm 
Virgin

Joined: Sun Jan 21, 2018 5:28 pm
Posts: 15
Thank you for the well thought out response and advice. We will definitely be following your guidelines.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 8:40 pm 
Experienced

Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2016 4:18 pm
Posts: 108
Your wife doesn't want you to watch? What are the issues?


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Unread postPosted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 11:32 pm 
Pervert
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2015 5:48 pm
Posts: 579
Interesting questions. One thing I think you should talk about is what how you both would answer the questions. I have a feeling if he just knows what is expected of him he would go that route. Unfortunately in most cases he is just left guessing so may make the choice that isn't what you both were hoping for.

Would you want him to hang around a bit and get to know each other? Especially him and her? Or would you as a couple want him to do his deed and leave so you can finish with each other.

Perhaps one day your answer might be one way and another day different. The better you let him in on your desires, the better he can achieve the goals you are after. Just saying, I know some woman would be turned off when a man jumps up and leaves after she gave her pussy to him, yet in some cases she might want him to leave to prevent an awkward situation. I don't think there are correct answers as everyone is different.


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Unread postPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:04 am 
Player

Joined: Wed Jun 03, 2015 8:16 pm
Posts: 413
Location: Metro Boston, MA
First off, definitely do the coffee date with the expectation that it ends when you've finished your drink. The reason for this is simple - you're feeling each other out, seeing if the in-person chemistry feels good, seeing if he talks to BOTH of you, addresses your concerns, talks about how he can accommodate your wants/needs/desires...

So, let's take your concerns one by one:
- She's nervous about the husband being there. That's actually pretty common, and it can be a hard hurdle to get over. It makes sense, right? This is your first time doing something, she probably has never had sex with an audience before... it's all new and having extra-marital sex is both exciting and scary. How he addresses this will give you a good insight into how he performs as a third/bull. Personally, I always want the husband there the first time. First times are intense, emotional... and until the clothes start coming off, you just never know how a couple is going to respond to this (because a hot fantasy doesn't always mean it will be a hot reality). I want to be able to see how a wife responds to being touched in front of her husband... I want to see how the husband reacts to me undressing his wife. I want to see the immediate physical responses as a clue to how they are doing. Also, having the husband there allows me to ease them into this - by having the husband involved, it helps keep the couple connected. Honestly, many first playdates don't end in full-on sex. This can be too much for a first time... it might be enough for us to get naked and do oral and then turn it over to the husband to finish the job (so to speak). Remember, there is nothing wrong with taking it slow, as you can always speed things up if you thrive in your first few experiences. It is really, REALLY hard to back up from a disastrous first date.
- The end of the encounter is however you want it to be, so set the expectation. I have left the bed to shower the moment I've cum, and I've stayed to have tea and chat and have meals. For a first playdate, I definitely recommend that your chosen third/bull talks to both of you, gets some immediate feedback and discusses how things went. But not for too long, as you will want to reclaim/reconnect with your wife. In short, do what feels natural and right and take care of each other.

And lastly, the condom question. This is always out there, and the easy answer is a question - how much risk do you want to take? Even if he has tests from last week, that only means he was "clean" last week. It's a good show of good faith, but... it's not an iron clad guarantee of being "clean". So be realistic about this. My best advice is that, even though your wife (and really, who doesn't) prefers bare play, wait on that until you have experience and built up the trust and communication with a lover. You can think of it as a well earned reward for being successful in this lifestyle, the first playdate your wife can whisper to her lover that "I'll be taking you bare tonight". Patience has it's rewards...

So good luck, be patient in your search, and make sure it's a good fit for you - Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.


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Unread postPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 1:22 am 
Virgin

Joined: Sun Jan 21, 2018 5:28 pm
Posts: 15
Wow! Really good advice from the last two posts. respectabullinma, my wife just loved your well thought out response to address all of our questions... maybe we should be taking a trip to Boston!

We will be discussing all of the points and advice everyone has given us in great detail! The good news is that our guy has been nothing but respectful, patient and has answered every question we've asked so far in great detail. Of course, we want to save the big questions for our face to face meeting so we can see his reactions and immediate responses. Thanks!


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Unread postPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 3:48 pm 
Experienced
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2017 12:03 pm
Posts: 224
Location: Las Vegas, NV
We have recently been searching for a new BF for the wife. She has a simple question she asks that helps break the ice and see how things are going to move forward. What’s your best joke? We’ve seen everything from knock knock jokes to long, drawn out story jokes. She has her own joke in response. That also helps get a feeling for someone’s personality. From there the questions center around that particular guy and his unique situation. Is he new or experienced? Does he have kids, an ex wife? What does he do for fun outside of the bedroom? Why did he respond to our ad? All question to get to the heart of his personality. Avoid yes/no questions. Ask questions that he has to think about.


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Unread postPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 5:51 pm 
2 Bit Whore

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 7:26 am
Posts: 1260
Location: ArLaTx
Just remember about STD testing. It is only good at the time the test was taken. A person can be clean at the time of the test and on the way home has sex with an infected person just to pass it along to the persons to whom he shows the test results. It is just like a sobriety check point. The driver is sober at the time but when he leaves the bar an hour later, he can be commode hugging drunk.

We play with those we know well. No drug users, no drunks, no man that picks up women any where and every where.

The best precaution is to know the person you intend to be in your bed.

JMO


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Unread postPosted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 9:56 pm 
Virgin

Joined: Sun Jan 21, 2018 5:28 pm
Posts: 15
Thanks for two more great responses. We have officially set up our first drink meeting for March 7. All these great responses have given us a lot to talk about. Thanks again to everyone that has responded.

NBayCpl


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Unread postPosted: Wed Feb 21, 2018 12:01 am 
Virgin

Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2018 9:33 am
Posts: 31
Location: Midwest
Sounds like shes slowly warming up to the idea. She needs to be comfortable with whomever shes with.


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Unread postPosted: Fri Feb 23, 2018 1:18 pm 
Experienced

Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2007 3:10 am
Posts: 176
Location: Italy and USA
respectabullinma wrote:
First off, definitely do the coffee date with the expectation that it ends when you've finished your drink. The reason for this is simple - you're feeling each other out, seeing if the in-person chemistry feels good, seeing if he talks to BOTH of you, addresses your concerns, talks about how he can accommodate your wants/needs/desires...

So, let's take your concerns one by one:
- She's nervous about the husband being there. That's actually pretty common, and it can be a hard hurdle to get over. It makes sense, right? This is your first time doing something, she probably has never had sex with an audience before... it's all new and having extra-marital sex is both exciting and scary. How he addresses this will give you a good insight into how he performs as a third/bull. Personally, I always want the husband there the first time. First times are intense, emotional... and until the clothes start coming off, you just never know how a couple is going to respond to this (because a hot fantasy doesn't always mean it will be a hot reality). I want to be able to see how a wife responds to being touched in front of her husband... I want to see how the husband reacts to me undressing his wife. I want to see the immediate physical responses as a clue to how they are doing. Also, having the husband there allows me to ease them into this - by having the husband involved, it helps keep the couple connected. Honestly, many first playdates don't end in full-on sex. This can be too much for a first time... it might be enough for us to get naked and do oral and then turn it over to the husband to finish the job (so to speak). Remember, there is nothing wrong with taking it slow, as you can always speed things up if you thrive in your first few experiences. It is really, REALLY hard to back up from a disastrous first date.
- The end of the encounter is however you want it to be, so set the expectation. I have left the bed to shower the moment I've cum, and I've stayed to have tea and chat and have meals. For a first playdate, I definitely recommend that your chosen third/bull talks to both of you, gets some immediate feedback and discusses how things went. But not for too long, as you will want to reclaim/reconnect with your wife. In short, do what feels natural and right and take care of each other.

And lastly, the condom question. This is always out there, and the easy answer is a question - how much risk do you want to take? Even if he has tests from last week, that only means he was "clean" last week. It's a good show of good faith, but... it's not an iron clad guarantee of being "clean". So be realistic about this. My best advice is that, even though your wife (and really, who doesn't) prefers bare play, wait on that until you have experience and built up the trust and communication with a lover. You can think of it as a well earned reward for being successful in this lifestyle, the first playdate your wife can whisper to her lover that "I'll be taking you bare tonight". Patience has it's rewards...

So good luck, be patient in your search, and make sure it's a good fit for you - Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now.



Agree 100% and for what regards the condom that is an absolute must not just for hotwives, for anyone regardless of age, status anyone.
We don't hear much about HIV BUT be aware that it has not yet been found a cure, just ways to keep it under control with medecines whcih have side effects like all medecines so taking risks is just foolish in my opinion.

After a while, that is not the following week or month, if trust is established and the guy/woman is reliable going bare it's so much better. Good luck!

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