My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

When a fuck buddy becomes something more.
mundyman
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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by mundyman » Mon Oct 14, 2019 6:40 am

Read the description. My hot take is that she is emotional because of her inner conflict of enjoying an experience so much that she on its surface shouldn’t have.
Will there have to be deep discussions with Dan.l? Very likely.
This doesn’t should much different then when somebody really steps out on a ledge and pushes their envelope. And in this case it sounds like it was really pushed.
Also Dan and LG3 had the talks about Jen having another man involved. In those discussions Dan assured that Jens safety would be primary.
I don’t get the sense Jen said no or was forced to do things against her will.
While this episode sounds like a leap LG3 and Jen weren’t prepared or ready to make, given Dan and Jen’s D/S play and desire to include another man, it doesn’t totally surprise.
There will need to be communication between the three. Jen and LG3 will need time to process, but I don’t see this ending their relationship.

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by curiouscouple122 » Mon Oct 14, 2019 7:52 am

A person who has been drinking as much as Jen did cannot consent because her judgement is impaired. That is something LG3 needs to take up with Dan definitely.

Early in the relationship Dan established that when she was with him that she was his, period. Given this submission to his wishes she provided him complete permission as his woman while she was with him to do whatever he wanted. To me, this tells me that LG3 didn't need to give his permission.

In a loving relationship people often take on the thoughts and feelings of their significant other, whether that is a political view, religious beliefs, or sexuality. Jen is taking on the grounded and loving relationship that LG3 has with her, while being with Dan and becoming what he wants her to be. If those two are in conflict it can almost be like living with a split personality.

Dan is highly sexual and their relationship reflects that. This goes beyond dom and sub, this is the fundamental feelings of what is desired or enjoyed. Your significant other is always in a position of submission when it comes to your happiness. She wants to make Dan happy, so shes going to do what he says, trusting him.

I can see that Jen is very loyal and committed, and to have Dan give her away to his friend in a nonchalant way, made her feel cheap. It doesn't matter that she enjoyed it, because that's what she feels. At the same time, she's beginning to change herself to be open to sexual experiences with anyone Dan decides she should. This fundamental change in how she should act is what makes her feel like a slut. Dan wants her to feel this way and he is grooming her to accept it. If this is in conflict with how Jen and LG3 want then they will need to sit down and talk about limits. I can't see this being the end but maybe a transition or compromise.

I hope all is well with you and Jen and I wish you both the best.

JeffBingham

Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by JeffBingham » Mon Oct 14, 2019 8:32 am

I'm usually at the front of the line when it comes to advising caution and making decisions with your brain rather than your gonads. But I've got to say that I really don't see this as threatening as many others. First of all, I think what Jen experienced on Sunday morning is quite common. Google the term "sub drop". It happens frequently after a particularly new or intense "scene" for a sub. The problem here seems to be that maybe Dan is not experienced enough as a true Dom to understand the aftercare he should deliver to make sure Jen's landing is as comfortable as possible.

This is the kind of situation I was trying to warn of several weeks back when I made the analogy of the frog in the pot of water. You must be conscious of each baby step as you progress into the unknown or you may find yourself deep in the woods because of a thousand baby steps that led you there. The real questions to me are the ones that still need to be discussed around just how much Jen loved the experience and if LG3 can handle or wants a situation where Dan is Jen's Dom and she is his Sub. Where does LG3 fit into this? I have faith in this marriage, as much as any internet stranger can.

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by curiouscouple122 » Mon Oct 14, 2019 9:08 am

Totally agree with the sub drop. Very good observation

samlowen

Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by samlowen » Mon Oct 14, 2019 9:27 am

I hope Jen’s recovering well from her subdrop after the eventful weekend. After the meet n greet last week it was pretty obvious that Dan was going to share her soon. I wish it had been done with less alcohol in play, personally. I don’t think bdsm should be engaged in while one’s faculties are diminished. Now that Jen has experienced this and enjoyed it, I’m curious with how frequently the sharing will occur going forward. I don’t think any of the three expect this to be a one and done.

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by luckyguy3 » Mon Oct 14, 2019 9:35 am

More comments than I can possibly respond to given the limited time I have available. Promise to write more in next day or two, but for now my focus is on Jen - about to take her on a long walk on a pretty fall day. Some very quick updates for you.

1. She is doing much, much better today. The long sleep definitely helped, she awoke early this morning. Spent the next several hours just holding each other and talking quietly. Going outside for the afternoon.

2. I spoke with Dan by phone a couple of times last night and again this morning. Got more details from him and more of an understanding of just how things went. He was both surprised and very distraught when Jen woke up so upset at his place on Sunday morning. Did not know how to handle it, could not get her to engage with him. Almost frantic about the way she left and not returning his calls. It was good for him that we were able to talk - in his own way he was as upset as she had been. Terrified he has fucked up when he thought he was doing something that she wanted and that they had fantasized about for a long time.

3. Jen talked to Dan briefly a little while ago. Told him she was feeling better. On her own initiative she invited him out here this evening so the three of us could talk. I thought that was a good sign and a really good idea.

4. On top of everything else Jen got a text from Rakesh Sunday night telling her that she was a special person and that he would never forget their experience. From my conversations with Dan I know that Dan had not told him anything about how upset Jen had been the day after. This was something Rakesh had done on his own. It was actually a sweet text.

5. One last point I want to address right away. Dan and Jen have been actively fantasizing about something like this for months now. Dan had talked to me one on one about it and we had agreed on ground rules for how it could happen. In fairness to Dan, from what I can tell so far he really tried to do everything right. Even to the point of Rakesh getting tested in advance (Dan knows that Jen is not a fan of condoms.)

It's hard to explain maybe, but the source of Jen's distress is not that she did not like what they did with her. Its that she liked it so much.

More later after we all sit down tonight.

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by D+D » Mon Oct 14, 2019 10:22 am

Thanks. You've cleared a lot of things up and I'm glad that she's feeling better. She is no slut in the normal context of the term. She is a woman with a kinky side who is on an adventure. The word slut just adds to the fantasy and kink.

JeffBingham

Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by JeffBingham » Mon Oct 14, 2019 11:33 am

luckyguy3 wrote:
Mon Oct 14, 2019 9:35 am


It's hard to explain maybe, but the source of Jen's distress is not that she did not like what they did with her. Its that she liked it so much.

More later after we all sit down tonight.
I thought you made it perfectly clear in your initial telling of the story that she enjoyed it A LOT. I apologize, I meant to address this in part of my previous post. I am by no means an expert in BDSM, but I do know that a big component of sub drop can be the internal struggle to reconcile long held beliefs we hold about ourselves with the reality of a very intense (often enjoyable beyond words) experience. And it's not just a psychological process. The brain goes into overdrive producing endorphins and serotonin, etc. Then when the experience is over, those chemicals are severely depleted and the body has to reset itself. I hope all 3 of you can find some degree of comfort in the knowledge that your experience is not uncommon, and also has physical/chemical explanations in addition to the psychological and emotional parts.

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by luckyguy3 » Tue Oct 15, 2019 9:17 am

Very important day in our lives yesterday, I want to share the details with all of you who have followed our journey. But first I want to do some important thank yous.

Almost all of the recent comments came from a position of worrying about Jen’s well being and caring for her. That meant a lot to me. Thank you all.

Jen and I (and I guess Dan too) owe a special thank you to JeffBingham, Samlowen and Curiouscouple122. All three of them referred to a concept I had never heard of before – “subdrop”. Learning about this at such a critical moment was incredibly helpful. At their suggestion I started researching this topic online yesterday afternoon after Jen and I got back from our walk. After just a few minutes I knew it was something very important and called Jen in to join me. For the next hour or so we read about “subdrop” and its symptoms.

Here is one of the many defintions of subdrop that we found online, all of which are pretty consistent with one another:

“Subdrop” is an experience with similar characteristics of depression that occurs after an SM scene. It is caused by adrenaline and endorphin crashes after the adrenaline and endorphin spikes that may occur during an intense SM scene. Symptoms include difficulty remembering details, fatigue, irritability, withdrawl, feelings of guilt and worthlessness, sad, anxious or empty feelings and shame.”

The more Jen and I read, the more it seemed to fit her situation perfectly. Remember, none of the three of us has a lot of experience with BDSM stuff. I have never done it, Dan had only done it with one other woman before Jen (and that person was the “experienced” one in that situation.) As Dan and Jen have progressed farther down this path, it has almost been a case of “the blind leading the blind”. They have really enjoyed what they have been doing, but have not had a good sense of how it all works or what the pitfalls can be.

Jen found the online research fascinating and was able to relate to so much of what we read. She was particularly interested in the chemical side of all of it. As an athlete and personal trainer, Jen has a lot of familiarity with how adrenaline and endorphins can affect performance and give you a “high”. It made perfect sense to her that she the same type of effects could happen to her body during her SM experience.

She said it is hard to describe just what it was like while it was happening, it was so powerful and so exciting. As Dan and Rakesh were spanking her with the paddle, even though it stung she was calling on them to hit her harder. Then having one shattering orgasm after another as they fucked her while she was tied to the bed. Jen did not pull any punches – she said it was the most powerful sexual experience of her life, that she had no idea how many times she came, that should would have done anything for them – including letting Rakesh partway into her ass, which was a first ever for her.

As intense a sexual high that she felt from the chemical rush while it was going on, she felt just that low when she woke up the next morning. The symptoms she was experiencing were exactly those listed in the articles about the “subdrop” syndrome.

The more we read, the more we learned about some of the mistakes they had made because of their inexperience, mistakes that contributed to the subdrop. First, it is clear that Jen should not have had that much wine. It was not a matter of consent – she knew from really early on at the club where the evening was headed. She wanted to do it – had fantasized about it for a long time - but in her nervousness she drank too much. The alcohol can definitely be a contributing factor to subdrop.

Another factor was that she had not had much of a dinner before they went out, did not eat anything at the club and especially did not eat any protein or sugar after her experience. These are physical things that can absolutely contribute to the severe adrenaline/endorphin drop after the experience. Had she eaten better beforehand, and especially had something to eat afterwards, it might have been a lot better.

Finally, we read a lot about the importance of “aftercare”. In aftercare the dom spends a lot of time pampering and expressing his affection and respect for the sub at the conclusion of their play. In her limited prior experiences with Dan, that had happened naturally before as it was just the two of them together and they held each other, etc. But it was totally different Saturday night. Jen still does not have a clear idea of how long she was tied up being fucked alternately by Dan and Rakesh. It was at least an hour, maybe considerably more. There were pauses at times, but she was still tied up and then one or the other would start on her again. Jen remembers that at least once, maybe more, she was encouraging, even daring them to do her again. She was covered in sweat, cum leaking between her thighs and on her chest, face and hair, and still begging for more. At some point Rakeesh crashed. I learned later from Dan that he untied Jen, woke up Rakesh and walked him out to the living room where his clothes were still on the floor. Dan said that he talked to Rakesh while he dressed then let him out the door. By the time he came back to the bedroom Jen was sound asleep. He just lay down beside her and crashed himself. So there was no “aftercare” at all.

I cannot tell you how helpful it was for Jen and I to read this stuff and gain a better understanding of what she had gone through. When Dan came over that night, the three of us talked about it for a long while. I brought up a couple of sites on my Ipad so he could read them himself. He was feeling so bad about how things had gone that morning and so at a loss as to what to do about it. Just as Jen was relieved to get a better understanding of what had happened, Dan was too.

One of the most important lessons the three of us learned is that this BDSM stuff is way more intense – and has way more pitfalls – than any of us had realized. It was clear that by not knowing more about just how it all worked, we had been treading in dangerous territory. There is a lot more to it than just having a “safe word”.

Saw my amazing wife at her best last night. When Dan walked in the door it only took one look at his face to see how distraught he was. Jen knows he is a good person, cares about him so much. She reached out and gave him a warm hug right at the outset, telling him not to worry, that things were going to be all right. This was not a “sub” surrendering to her “dom”, it was an intelligent, loving woman comforting a man who was hurting. It meant a lot to Dan. Our subsequent conversations went really well, I think because Jen defined it all as a process of healing and caring when she gave Dan that first hug.

Somewhere in the course of our conversations I realized that there was a contribution that I could make to this process. The three of us had been discussing all of this stuff and had just been talking about the importance of the “aftercare”. An idea came into my head and I just went ahead and put it out there and said “I think Jen deserves some of that aftercare right now.” Dan and Jen both looked at me in surprise, but I stuck to it, suggesting that Dan and I spend some time pampering the woman we loved. Dan was speechless, but Jen just sat there looking into my eyes for awhile and then said “I think that would be nice.”

The three of us went up to our bedroom. I turned up the thermostat a bit and lit a candle. All three of us undressed and then Jen lay down on the bed with her men on either side of her. Although we were all naked, it was not sexual. Sensual and loving would be better words. Dan and I both touched Jen gently with our hands, telling her how special she was, how wonderful she was. Jen did not say anything, she just lay back, often with her eyes closed, soaking in our words and our touch.

After a while it was Dan who got emotional. He started telling Jen over and over how sorry it was, how he never wanted to hurt her in any way. Jen opened her eyes and reached out to him, telling him it was ok, and shushing him with a finger to his lips. “Just keep doing what you are doing.” Then she closed her eyes again while we continued to stroke and talk to her.

After another half hour or so Jen opened her eyes and spoke to Dan. “Thanks for coming tonight. I needed this. But now I have to ask you to go home, because I need to spend some time with my husband. Can you understand?” Dan nodded, gave her a kiss and was dressed and out the door in just a few minutes.

Jen and I were already making love as I heard his car go off down the street.

LG3

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SutterKane
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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by SutterKane » Tue Oct 15, 2019 9:32 am

As soon as I saw your post on what happened with Jen and how she responded with depression, I thought subdrop. I read on through and was waiting till the end to post about subdrop and aftercare. Then I see you already found out about it. I think this is a wake up cal for all there of you to learn more about the up's and down;s of BDSM and how to deal with it. But you may be ahead of me on that too!
Sutter
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samlowen

Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by samlowen » Tue Oct 15, 2019 9:34 am

I don't think yesterday could have gone any better for the three of you, all learning about the subdrop together and taking healing steps (nice idea LG3). I like to book time at a day spa after a scene, getting a massage, spending time in a sauna and/or hot tub to help me deal with my own subdrop. Sometimes my drop doesn't happen until a few days later too, throwing my preparations off. Be aware of that for future experiences as her Friday-Sunday window with Dan might not leave much time for him to always provide aftercare.

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by SutterKane » Tue Oct 15, 2019 5:12 pm

samlowen wrote:
Tue Oct 15, 2019 9:34 am
I don't think yesterday could have gone any better for the three of you, all learning about the subdrop together and taking healing steps (nice idea LG3). I like to book time at a day spa after a scene, getting a massage, spending time in a sauna and/or hot tub to help me deal with my own subdrop. Sometimes my drop doesn't happen until a few days later too, throwing my preparations off. Be aware of that for future experiences as her Friday-Sunday window with Dan might not leave much time for him to always provide aftercare.
I've seen subdrop not kick in till a week or 10 days after, but that's not that common. Usually 6 to 72 hours later is common, but your mileage may vary. Dan needs to take being a Dom seriously, needs to know how to handle the complex psychological reactions that Will happen to sub's in and out of sub space. He might find another experienced Dom to train him in these things before he tests them out on Jen. LG needs the info too as you said, because unless she's with Dan for days after the scene, he will be handling a lot of aftercare. He needs to pick her up from Dan's after a scene if she hasn't dropped. I had a sub leave, drive a quarter mile and drop. They pulled to the side of the road and basically came apart. I drove by an hour later and found them weeping in their car. It taught me an important lesson about my responsibilities for aftercare.
Sutter
"Women and cats will do as they please,and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea"-Robert Heinlein
"Gratitude is riches and complaint is poverty and the worst I ever had was wonderful"Bro. Dave Gardner
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus!

Foot69loose

Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by Foot69loose » Tue Oct 15, 2019 8:58 pm

Hello LG3,

Firstly, thank you for taking the time to provide the feedback on how Jen was affected by her experience. I am aware of the gut wrenching time it takes to sit dowb and write something like this when you are emotianal and your gut is wrenched as well as not being certain what the cause is nor the full extent of the issue.

Upon first reading your reports and how Jen was taking things. We were both of the opinion that it was Subdrop as others have stated. I was not able to post previously, but I am so pleased to see that other experienced members of this forum responded to you in such a way as to provide caring information that no doubt has assisted Jen in understanding her feelings and has allowed to her to move forward.

The one clue that you provided was that Jen enjoyed the entire experience. This showed us that it was not a regretful situation, moreover it was one Jen was having difficulty in processing the absolute pleasure she experienced as it was so exciting for her.

Moving forward, now that the Genie is out of the bottle, I think you will see a different attitude from your charming wife. Now that Jen is armed with this information on Subdrop, it will be a little easier for her to understand and cope with it. Indeed Dan will also have to learn the signals and understand what his role is to ensure her welfare is considered and taken care of.

Our experiences have shown that once a sub enjoys herself to this extent it does become like an addiction. The pleasure and endorphins multiply this and of course at some stage in the future she will be seeking another round with at least 2 males involved. Dan best we aware of this and start looking and testing in advance lol.. I would also suggest the distinct possibility of her considering a DP.
Since Rakesh is currently unavailable, You may want to consider the role for yourself.

Oner thing I thought was most important is that the first location she sought on Sunday morning after leaving Dan’s was the sanctuary of her husband and her home. This tells us both that your marriage and relationship is solid and safe.

Take care all the best
J&L

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by luckyguy3 » Wed Oct 16, 2019 8:45 pm

I can only agree with pretty much all of the remarks in this latest round of comments. Last weekend was a wake up call for us and an intense lesson in why all three of us need to learn more about this particular side of our lifestyle. Lots to learn and lots to process.

Over the course of the past two days Jen and I have continued to do more research on these topics and have shared some of what we have come across with Dan. All three of us agreed that it would be good if we could identify someone with more experience in the area and get their input. It is clear that some of the people who have been following our story have personal experience with BDSM. We are interested in hearing more from folks who have experience as doms and those who have been subs. You can post on this topic or PM me if that is more appropriate and comfortable. The more input and advice we can get, the better. Thanks to all of you who have shared already.

In our online research we have come across something called "Munches". These are apparently non sexual gatherings of people interested in BDSM, usually at a meal or coffee, where folks who are interested in the scene can chat about these issues in a non threatening environment. We have noticed that there are a couple of munches scheduled for our city over the course of the next month. Jen was wondering if it would be useful for her and Dan to attend one. If any of you have any experience with these types of sessions, your input would be appreciated.

As powerful as last Saturday night was for Jen, her overall reaction is to go slow moving forward. She has read through the most recent comments here, and she agreed that there are elements of the sexual high she experienced that could be almost addictive. That's one of the reasons she wants to go slow and not rush into anything. We also talked about the possibility of me becoming a participant, or an observer, someone who would always be looking out for her interests and safety and who could at the very least be part of the "aftercare". It is hard for me to imagine actually beating her hard with a paddle, calling her a slut and a whore or masturbating onto her face. Yet at the same time, if she is going to do things like this in the future - and like them so much - part of me would like to be there and see her do it.

Lots to process.

Several other bits of positive news to pass on. First, Jen responded to Rakesh's text and got a couple more back in return. His words were all positive, polite, respectful and hugely appreciative. Jen said that made her feel good. He left for India today, has no set plans to come back anytime soon.

Next, Jen surprised me today by telling me that she would be spending this Friday night with me. She said this whole intense event has dominated the past few days and that she wanted to let go of it and have some more "normal" time with me. So on her own she told Dan that she would not be going to his place until late Saturday afternoon so we could have an extra day together. That was nice.

Finally, with all the other events and drama I have not had a chance to update you on my ongoing communications with Deb. For now, suffice it to say that we are getting along really, really well. Jen knows about it, we plan to talk more between ourselves over the rest of this week.

LG3

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by Robrt » Thu Oct 17, 2019 4:20 am

LG3 I am closely following your experiences with Jen your wife, Dan your best friend, and Deb your sister-in-law. This relationship mix is foreign to me, it is also educational and intriguing. Life can certainly be more exciting and interesting and I have to tip my hat to the the three, maybe four, of you for making it just that. Most of all I want to thank you for taking the time to allow us to closely follow the course of events, it's very much appreciated!
Robrt

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by norbertrichard1 » Thu Oct 17, 2019 8:15 am

I too would like to say "THANKS" for allowing us to follow your life with your beautiful woman, Tho I would treasure her and her charms to much to willingly share her with another, unless she really pushed the , which in your case, seems to be the case. Im not sure that I could cope with a 50-50 time share, the emotions would kill the deal.

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by luckyguy3 » Sat Oct 19, 2019 7:04 am

Good morning all. Wanted to make a quick post while Jen is out for a 5k run. At her pace that only gives me about 25 minutes so I will make this quick.

First, let me say "Your'e welcome" to Robrt and norbertrchard1. I am sure that many people would think that I am strange, mad or worse for sharing such intimate details about the experiences we have had. But as I have said before, it is an important vehicle for me to process what is going on and also for me to get valuable feedback and insights from other people. Not many folks in my "real life" I can talk to about this stuff!

Jen and I have had a great past few days. Weather has tuned a bit rainy and cooler but that has not stopped us from taking lots of long walks, which is often one of the best times for us to talk about issues. Something about the combination of being outside and in physical motion keeps the conversation open and vibrant.

Later this afternoon she will head over to Dan's, coming back in time for dinner here tomorrow. We talked a lot more about her BDSM experience, Jen wants to continue to explore the area but very slowly and cautiously. She is going to talk to Dan tonight about all three of us going to a "munch" gathering sometime in the next month.

One other significant development that has me a bit excited. Jen and I spent a lot of time last night talking about the ongoing flirtation between her sister Deb and I. Jen said that she does not feel comfortable directly approaching her sister on my behalf to arrange a tryst for us. However, after a lot of thought she has said that - if I want to - I have her blessing to approach Deb on my own. And that if asked, she will say that she has no objection.

That's as far as she feels she can go. It just feels to strange to her to come right and offer my services as a lover to her sister. But she can tell from her conversations with both of us that the flirtation and attraction is there, so I now have the green light to pursue it.

This way if Deb says "no", Jen is not involved. I get that.

Deb and I texted several times yesterday and made another phone date for tonight. Am trying to figure out just how I can broach the topic with her. excited and nervous both.

LG3

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by SutterKane » Sat Oct 19, 2019 9:36 am

On the Deb front, you might try the old "I had a dream about you". Tell her that it turned you on a lot and you told Jen and she liked it too and she suggested that you tell Deb because she thought Deb would enjoy knowing that she turned you on. It gets it all out there in an easily back track-able way. After all, it was only a funny dream! Just let Jen know the plan so she can back you, if asked about it.
"Women and cats will do as they please,and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea"-Robert Heinlein
"Gratitude is riches and complaint is poverty and the worst I ever had was wonderful"Bro. Dave Gardner
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus!

samlowen

Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by samlowen » Sat Oct 19, 2019 9:58 am

If you three do find a munch to go to, reach out to the munch coordinator ahead of time and let them know it's your first munch. Some coordinators will take the time to help you acclimate when you get there or introduce you to people whose interests align with yours. Another avenue that might bear some fruit is your local sex shops. Several in my area host monthly classes on various kinky subjects. Although the classes are generally very high level and introductory in nature, the instructors can often provide you additional resources or help you get into contact with people who could help.

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by mundyman » Sat Oct 19, 2019 11:06 am

Ask your SIL if she would like to get together one weekend while your wife is away.

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by norbertrichard1 » Sat Oct 19, 2019 11:45 am

I would just let General conversation take place, and let SIL know that it is such a comfort to talk to her, and ask how she feels about the current situation between your wife and her lover, and it probably would be great if she were there with you in person to give input and comfort.

Suchen Zucker

Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by Suchen Zucker » Sat Oct 19, 2019 12:51 pm

One other significant development that has me a bit excited. Jen and I spent a lot of time last night talking about the ongoing flirtation between her sister Deb and I. Jen said that she does not feel comfortable directly approaching her sister on my behalf to arrange a tryst for us. However, after a lot of thought she has said that - if I want to - I have her blessing to approach Deb on my own. And that if asked, she will say that she has no objection.

That's as far as she feels she can go. It just feels to strange to her to come right and offer my services as a lover to her sister. But she can tell from her conversations with both of us that the flirtation and attraction is there, so I now have the green light to pursue it.

This way if Deb says "no", Jen is not involved. I get that.

Deb and I texted several times yesterday and made another phone date for tonight. I am trying to figure out just how I can broach the topic with her. excited and nervous both
I'm a bit perplexed about how your wife seems to never support you while you, on the other hand, part the fucking seas supporting her when it comes to sex outside the marriage. It appears you are fully on her team, but she is not truly on yours. When it comes down to actually helping and supporting you in overcoming your problems with being male and married when looking outside your marriage.

Jen could make your hooking up with Deb 10 times easier with a few words to her sister that IF she is interested in getting together with you for some intimate fun, she would be cool with it while reassuring her she would have some light-hearted fun with you.

Why make her sister uncomfortable having to approach her for her permission since Jen is in the driver's seat and needs to give her blessing BEFORE things move forward.

There might be a green light but in reality, Jen has poured sugar in your gas tank.

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by wingman » Sat Oct 19, 2019 4:34 pm

I hate to say it, but yes in that way likely means no, but she doesn’t want to risk cutting off things with Dan. The reason I would avoid Deb is the long term fall out if things turn sour. Just a risk-reward perspective.
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I've got her back, he's got her front.

Suchen Zucker

Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by Suchen Zucker » Sat Oct 19, 2019 6:55 pm

wingman wrote:
Sat Oct 19, 2019 4:34 pm
I hate to say it, but yes in that way likely means no, but she doesn’t want to risk cutting off things with Dan. The reason I would avoid Deb is the long term fall out if things turn sour. Just a risk-reward perspective.
I don't the think the reason for her lack of support is worry that LG will cut her off from Dan. That's just not going to happen.

I think she just doesn't want to have any other female sniffing around what belongs to her.

I actually agree with you about the risk/reward and possible fall-out. Why fuck around and spend valuable time trying to bed little sister when you know that big sis gets jealous? What would it be like to be the guy in between two sisters when the fur starts flying? What about all the kids and relatives that you have to worry about as well. Complexity and unneeded stress...

Wouldn't it be better finding a female companion with no strings attached to your wife? And since you are obviously on your own finding one, and it's going to take a lot of hard work to make it happen, why not go for one that is free to love you like Dan loves Jen?

It must be nice to have us telling you have to live your life LG :mrgreen:

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Re: My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

Unread post by D+D » Sun Oct 20, 2019 9:34 am

Wow, I'm just checking regularly for another update. I can see LG's intrigue with his sil tho. I can also see the validity of being cautious too. I cannot even imagine what I would do.

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