My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

[samlowen]

Sugar in the gas tank. I feel that way too about the Deb/Jen situation. It feels very murky to me and I would have like to have seen Jen offer to do a bit more to grease the wheels if she was truly on board.

[luckyguy3]

Just wanted to let you know that I have decided to take a break from posting for a while. It is one thing to get comments/advice/suggestions on this stuff. It is another to hear people ascribe selfish and mean motives to the love of my life. She is the kindest, most empathetic and sweetest person I have ever known. Anyone who thinks she has not been positive about me seeing other people or that she is intentionally causing problems for me simply has ignored everything I have writtten about her for years. I started to write a long response but I was just getting more angry so I said screw it.

The reason that I chose the name “LG3” is because I am truly lucky to be married to this amazing woman.

LG3

Ps. Asked Deb to meet me in NY for a weekend next month. She called Jen about an hour ago. Jen told Deb she hoped the two of us have a great time.

Sound like “sugar in the tank”?

[ExiledSage]

Sorry, you have been driven to this point, but can understand. People here seen to forget there are actual people on the other side of things. May the sexy fun times continue and your adventures with Deb take off.

[norbertrichard1]

I understand your position, but I think with recent turn of events, you are a little raw, and easyly offended. I am sure that we are all with you 100% whatever way you go. I also want to empress on you that all comments have been out of concern for the wellbeing for both you and your wife. All we want is fo both of you to get what you both want, and be happy. I for one lost the love of my life 40 years ago, do in part to my own stubberness, and I live every day with the pain of my decissions Wishing you much happiness, I remain your friend.

[subtoall]

Just wanted to let you know that I have decided to take a break from posting for a while. It is one thing to get comments/advice/suggestions on this stuff. It is another to hear people ascribe selfish and mean motives to the love of my life. She is the kindest, most empathetic and sweetest person I have ever known. Anyone who thinks she has not been positive about me seeing other people or that she is intentionally causing problems for me simply has ignored everything I have writtten about her for years. I started to write a long response but I was just getting more angry so I said screw it.

The reason that I chose the name “LG3” is because I am truly lucky to be married to this amazing woman.

LG3

Ps. Asked Deb to meet me in NY for a weekend next month. She called Jen about an hour ago. Jen told Deb she hoped the two of us have a great time.

Sound like “sugar in the tank”?

I saw this one coming, just like many times before. Once again, the negativity brigade strikes again and a prolific, thoughtful, respected poster has been UNDERSTANDABLY offended.

It is infuriating that this happens and I would like to see some changes in the site's management going forward to prevent this crap from continuing. I respectfully request that the moderators on this website step up their game. It's the same few individuals who are so clueless about the fact that they ROUTINELY PROJECT THEIR MISOGYNISTIC AND HOMOPHOBIC JUDGMENTS on people who are baring their souls in a way that can make them emotionally vulnerable. We need to do more to protect them.

To be permitted a view into others' most precious relationships should be treated like the privilege it is. If you can't participate here without sharing your nasty hateful crap YOU SHOULD BE BANNED.

If you are a regular poster here and don't recognize the kind of judgmental posts that my rant is referring to, you are probably one of the posters causing the problem. Like LG3 said above, you clearly are have ignored everything he's written here for years, and are clueless about his relationship. And YOU have caused him to leave.

Thank you. I'm off the soapbox now.

LG3 I hope you'll come back!

[D+D]

I am disappointed. This was one of my three fav threads, but it's not about us, it's about y'all.

[wingman]

LG3
Please don’t interpret my last comment as anything negative about your wonderful bride! I have been around “significant other” family dating, after it went bad the tension, at family events, lasted a loooong time. No one was bad, it was just a natural byproduct of what happened.
Please don’t stop posting because of my comment. Again I did not mean to imply your lady is anything less than spectacular!! Which I quite frankly think she is!!
I hope to read an update soon!

[Robrt]

LG3
You are all very likable people.... its most enlightening and educational following your life style that is foreign to many of us ( I should speak for myself ). I try placing myself in each position, Yours, Jen's, Dan's and even Deb's. and I see strength, self confidence and oodles of LOVE! God bless you all and I hope you'll see fit to include your admiring audience in future experiences.
Many thanks,
Robrt

[samlowen]

I'm sorry if my comments pushed you to this decision.

[HOT4MYWIFE]

Sad to see you take a break. This is my favorite thread on the site. Enjoy your adventure.

J

[HOT4MYWIFE]

I find your latest account of your wife's weekend , very depressing. Even tho you have allowed Jill to have a so called second husband, and allowed him the prevledge of having his own agenda of sharing her with his friend, I can't believe that you are all right with the way she was treated, even tho she is ashamed that she enjoyed most of it. If she is the love of your life, and the mother of your children,how can you be alright with the way she was treated, I hope that you realize that, in her mind, she has changed, not only her opinion of her self, but maybe how she feels that you view her , as well as Bob's opinion of her. I'm sure that you care not of my opinion, but if she were near and dear to me, I most asuredly would rethink this situation.

3 adults are having a great time and the married couple are growing closer than ever. They are not hurting anyone. This kind criticism is why more people don't share.

[mundyman]

NB1’s negativity strikes again.
I hope you return LG3. I am fascinated by your journey and how you, Jen. And Dan are figuring this all out.
Good luck and best wishes.

[Long Lurker 34]

LG3

As my handle implies I'm a lurker. I always looked forward to developments in your thread with interest and while I am disappointed you are ceasing to continue, I throughly understand.

I thought your situation to be authentic, genuine and quite intriguing, throughly enjoyed following your triads exploits.

I wish you and your 'crew' well and hope the negativity has not dented your Hotwifing enthusiasm and enjoyment for the future.

LL

[norbertrichard1]

It seems that a comment that I posted in the past, has been deemed negative, and comtributed to your decission to stop posting. If that be the case, I appoligise. I only meant to show my appreciation, and concern for your wifes feelings, not to cast shadows on your situation, or marriage. If this be the case, I will refrain on commenting in the future.

[SutterKane]

LG, you and I have talked and you know my feelings on what the three (now maybe four?) of you are trying to do. As I believe I told you in our conversation.
Some of those that seem negative, mean well and are concerned about you both and your marriage. You can tell by the reasoned and thoughtful comments. Others are responding to their own fear, paranoia and doubts, putting themselves in your place and then projecting these feelings on to you and your wife. They do this on every thread that sets off their fear response and I've rarely seen them say anything other than negative and hostile things. They are rarely kind or supportive to anyone that doesn't do this life exactly as they would do it. If you play outside their comfort zone, you are a fool, a weak loser and shortly to learn how wrong you are and how right they are, so they seem to fervently pray. I note who does this and simply ignore all their post, even when they dump their bile on me. These members aren't really responding to you personally, they're really just responding to the fear your journey and stories set off inside their own selves. They simply can't handle the way that you play. They can be wrong 99 times and never doubt their own righteousness and certainty. In the one time they are right (or seem to be right, until the OP comes back and clarifies their absence or what happened to cause their departure) they post their "I warned him/them!". If you had simply had stopped posting until you felt like it again, they would have been on the thread gloating that if you had just followed their advice, you would still have your marriage!
Don't let them ruin your enjoyment of OHW. I would suggest that you shun the negative ones and I suggest that same course for everyone. If their post cross the line into abuse, just report it!
Best wishes,
Sutter
P.S. I made a point to not single any one poster out, as there are a handful that I have on my "just ignore the fuckers" list. I try and make a point of acknowledging well thought out, rational posts, wither positive or negative in their point of view. Encourage the good and as much as possible, ignore the bad. Some of them post just looking for a fight!

[wingman]

Come on LG3.... Come back here and have fun telling your story!!!!

[voxhominum]

Geez, I'm sorry to hear that you won't be posting for a while. Your posts were fascinating and helpful with their insight into your amazing situation. I hope you reconsider. I don't think the vast majority of the people here support those negative comments, but we do support you. Looking forward to seeing your posts again, but if you decide not to come back, I hope you have good luck and happy times!

[54321]

Dear LuckyGuy3,

I love your thread and have found it exciting and, more importantly, informative to read.
Please try to let go of feeling down. I think I speak on behalf of everyone on this forum when I say:

"We're sorry.
Please forgive us!
We love you.
Thank you."

54321

[Suchen Zucker]

LG, please accept this apology for my hurtful words regarding your wife and for the anger, they provoked within you. That was not my intention, nor did I think for a second that you would assign any weight to the half-cocked machination fantasies I attributed to your relationship with your amazing wife.

It was a clumsy attempt on my part to playfully inject the idea that you were entering a cuckold relationship but didn't want to face up to it. Not that your wife doesn't love you, that she isn't sweet and empathetic, nor being mean.

Again, I am sorry about what I wrote. I will refrain from future commenting on your thread. Your story is at the center of what this forum is all about and I'd hate to have anything to do with it disappearing.

-Suchen

[BigHotMess]

I’ll say it because there is more benefit in being respectfully blunt than condescendingly contrite.

1. Nobody here is trying to troll, everyone is trying to help you...albeit from different angles
2. The reason you are so upset is that there is a glimmer of truth in the posters who you, ostensibly, disagree with. You are best server figuring out why you are so upset about why anonymous internet friends influence a healthy outlet.
3. The truth in difficult situations usually lies in the middle.

[luckyguy3]

Thisgirlwonders, thank you for recognizing that this site is above all else a sharing experience. People share some of the most intimate and private details of their lives in an anonymous forum in hope of benefiting from the dialogue and communication.

Suchen, thank you for the well spoken apology. People can say what they want about me, but when things are said about the love of my life my sensitivity gets pretty intense. In this case I accept your explanation about the intent of your words. I don't think it is my place to tell anyone what topics they can post on or what they can or cannot say. But my advice to you would be to read any comments you intend to post aloud to yourself in advance and then take a moment to consider how they might be received before you press "send."

There's way too much tribalism, factionalism and anger in our country today. We don't need it on this site too. Let's hope that we can all be part of productive dialogues going forward.

I think it has been good for me to take a break, it can be an intense process to both live it and post about it on a regular basis. Have to watch out that the time spent on the site does not become too much. Will probably continue the break for a little while longer, and maybe post a little less when I do. But I will resume when I am ready.

Best wishes to all who have shared their support and concern.

LG3

[54321]

This is a salutary lesson for all of us. LG3 just said:

People share some of the most intimate and private details of their lives in an anonymous forum in hope of benefiting from the dialogue and communication.

and indeed, when posters are laying themselves bare here, it's important for the rest of us to be extra sensitive and supportive, even when disagreeing.

I'm happy to say that most of the time, OHW is a safe place to share, and hurt feelings are the exception rather than the rule, but the written word can be tricky. We can say things face to face with a nod and wink or a wry little look and the recipient gets it as it is meant. In writing, even with the help of emojis, irony and humour don't always come across as we would like.

The good news is that Sucher graciously cleared things up. Thanks, Sucher!

54321

[wingman]

LG3 - Enjoy your break! We look forward to hearing from you again when your ready! In the mean time, our minds will be spinning with fantasies about the adventures we hope you are living, and we hope to someday read about!!

[Robrt]

LG3 ...Just wanted you to know I miss your posts....Every day I stop by just to check on this thread....whatever happens here I wish you, Jen, Dan and Deb health and happiness!

[SutterKane]

Thisgirlwonders, thank you for recognizing that this site is above all else a sharing experience. People share some of the most intimate and private details of their lives in an anonymous forum in hope of benefiting from the dialogue and communication.

Suchen, thank you for the well spoken apology. People can say what they want about me, but when things are said about the love of my life my sensitivity gets pretty intense. In this case I accept your explanation about the intent of your words. I don't think it is my place to tell anyone what topics they can post on or what they can or cannot say. But my advice to you would be to read any comments you intend to post aloud to yourself in advance and then take a moment to consider how they might be received before you press "send."

There's way too much tribalism, factionalism and anger in our country today. We don't need it on this site too. Let's hope that we can all be part of productive dialogues going forward.

I think it has been good for me to take a break, it can be an intense process to both live it and post about it on a regular basis. Have to watch out that the time spent on the site does not become too much. Will probably continue the break for a little while longer, and maybe post a little less when I do. But I will resume when I am ready.

Best wishes to all who have shared their support and concern.

LG3

Lg my friend, I hope all three of you are rocking this life! If you feel like coming back, I'll be here waiting!
Sutter