This Happened

When a fuck buddy becomes something more.
Nostrings123
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This Happened

Unread post by Nostrings123 » Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:29 pm

So I had a Hotwife that I played with for 3 years. She is a submissive masochist - which worked out perfectly because I am a Dom and a sadist. BINGO!

We played hard for 3 years. Weekly almost. Her husband, cuckold in an unusual way, he being Dom over her, would enjoy the pics I sent him and then fuck her brains out when I sent her home each week.

Now she has a chip on her shoulder (not young enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not sexy enough etc) and I tried (unsuccessfully) to disabuse her of that notion.

She loved my cooking and we got into the habit of drinking expensive bottles of wine when I cooked, or eating out at very expensive restaurants once a month, taking turns to pay...it was heaven...but we would often drop $600 for dinner.

One day she started playing with another Dom and she decided to end out play sessions. I resisted (who wouldn't) and we played very occasionally after that for about 8 months. The last time I cooked for her, she came over for dinner and I made her amazing drinks and an amazing dinner. She and I laughed and laughed. Then after dinner she said "OK, now I am firing you". And that was that.

I said to her then "Look, you have been trying to dump me for like 8 months. So OK. We are done. I am dumped."

Of course, she said "What? no push back, that was too easy". And she laughed at me...she hugged me and said, "I am sure we will play again, you just have to ask. You do something to me that nobody else can do." In my mind, I don't think I agreed with her. I was done.

Soon after that I met the woman I am seeing now. And my former Hotwife and I hardly spoke. At first she would call to chat on her way home from work, but then that stopped when I never called her to speak. Her conversations with me were mostly unpleasant. Then I didn't hear from her for about 3 months.

Last night I noticed that she had left some pretty nasty comments on some writing I did on a fet page. I called her out and she went off on me. I mean scorn to the N'th degree.

Now I am perplexed. What did I do, other than write about the fun I was having, that got the hair on her back to stand up like that? So bizarre. I ended up blocking all of her communication because I don't need that negativity in my life. During the back and forth, I was not rude or disrespectful, I just told her that I was not going to allow her to high-jack my page to express herself like that with barbs aimed at me and my girlfriend. She started with ad hominem attacks that led me to block her.

I thought I knew her after 3 years of weekly sessions....turns out I had no clue.
Last edited by Nostrings123 on Tue Mar 19, 2019 4:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Feel free to email me nostrings123@gmail.com

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Lucky Dog
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by Lucky Dog » Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:32 am

When she told you it was too easy to dump you, she seemed to be showing she was relieved you didn't make it hard for her. But maybe what she was really saying was she wanted you to fight for her to take her back, to show her you wanted her.

Later, when she read you were having fun with another woman, she was jealous and angry you let her go. She probably wanted to be pursued. Only you can decide whether a woman feeling jealous of you with another is sexy or if it's crazy. During your three fun years she may have developed more feelings for you than she let on, and her new guy could have been for both fun and trying to provoke you.

It's possible that her being jealous is both sexy but also too crazy to deal with. You just never got to see the crazy part before.
A lot of times, good sex is the quickest end to virginity.

Nostrings123
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by Nostrings123 » Tue Mar 19, 2019 4:30 pm

Lucky Dog wrote:
Sat Mar 16, 2019 9:32 am
When she told you it was too easy to dump you, she seemed to be showing she was relieved you didn't make it hard for her. But maybe what she was really saying was she wanted you to fight for her to take her back, to show her you wanted her.

Later, when she read you were having fun with another woman, she was jealous and angry you let her go. She probably wanted to be pursued. Only you can decide whether a woman feeling jealous of you with another is sexy or if it's crazy. During your three fun years she may have developed more feelings for you than she let on, and her new guy could have been for both fun and trying to provoke you.

It's possible that her being jealous is both sexy but also too crazy to deal with. You just never got to see the crazy part before.
I suggested that jealousy was an ugly color on her. She said "I am not jealous, I am happy how things ended. I asked her why my writing trips her up? And she had no answer to that question. I am literally done with her.

Today I sent her an email asking to return the objects of her I have (A collar, a Hitachi and a dildo) and for her to return my rowing ergometer that I loaned her. She jumped right on that and said she would return it immediately. This surprised me. She is a X Fit junkie and she uses that thing every single day. So that tells me where she is too.

I honestly don't know, but I do think that she always had feelings for me and she always wanted more than I could give. She as mad that I let this woman move in with me, and she was always super superior to her "I have more experience, I am more of a masochist, I am a better sub etc etc" Plus she put her down too....so I am done with her.

Not worth pursuing. I am just really surprised that a woman I was deeply related to, whom I "owned" for a time, who submitted to me completely, who I fucked and used for prolonged 8 hour sessions weekly for 3 years, could turn on me like that after she dumped me. Live and learn.
Last edited by Nostrings123 on Wed Mar 20, 2019 1:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Feel free to email me nostrings123@gmail.com

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Lucky Dog
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by Lucky Dog » Tue Mar 19, 2019 11:17 pm

Maybe it's more than a little sad it ends like this, but you have such understanding and caring for her, and you've kept your righteous anger to a minimum. I'm sure these qualities will make your new relationship work out a lot better. Sometimes, when we don't have a complete relationship, we don't know everything about others. You're not the only man or woman who has gone through this. In a way, you're lucky that it didn't end worse, and that it did actually end.
A lot of times, good sex is the quickest end to virginity.

troilusand
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by troilusand » Wed Mar 20, 2019 12:34 pm

Nostrings, I'm confused why this is on the poly forum; was there more reciprocal love between you two than I'm reading in your posts?

Anyway, I hope this ends well for you. People who perceive themselves as jilted can be very vindictive...even if they're the one who left.

Troilus

Nostrings123
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by Nostrings123 » Wed Mar 20, 2019 1:32 pm

troilusand wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 12:34 pm
Nostrings, I'm confused why this is on the poly forum; was there more reciprocal love between you two than I'm reading in your posts?

Anyway, I hope this ends well for you. People who perceive themselves as jilted can be very vindictive...even if they're the one who left.

Troilus
The reason is that she is the first woman whom I have been with that is truly poly and lives in a poly marriage and who opened me up to the fact that I am myself truly poly....

There was reciprocal love between us. She loved me with a greater intensity that I loved her for sure, but we were the best of friends for sure, as well as very intense lovers.

I think there is wisdom in your words..."People who perceive themselves as jilted can be very vindictive" - although I have no idea how I jilted her other than not choose her as my primary partner. I always told her that her family had to come before my relationship with her. She has a husband a two children, one quite young, whom I was not interested in coming between. I think that at some level, that really upset her.
Feel free to email me nostrings123@gmail.com

Nostrings123
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by Nostrings123 » Wed Mar 20, 2019 1:32 pm

Lucky Dog wrote:
Tue Mar 19, 2019 11:17 pm
Maybe it's more than a little sad it ends like this, but you have such understanding and caring for her, and you've kept your righteous anger to a minimum. I'm sure these qualities will make your new relationship work out a lot better. Sometimes, when we don't have a complete relationship, we don't know everything about others. You're not the only man or woman who has gone through this. In a way, you're lucky that it didn't end worse, and that it did actually end.
WORD!
Feel free to email me nostrings123@gmail.com

troilusand
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by troilusand » Thu Mar 21, 2019 11:22 am

Nostrings123 wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 1:32 pm
troilusand wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 12:34 pm
Nostrings, I'm confused why this is on the poly forum; was there more reciprocal love between you two than I'm reading in your posts?

Anyway, I hope this ends well for you. People who perceive themselves as jilted can be very vindictive...even if they're the one who left.

Troilus
The reason is that she is the first woman whom I have been with that is truly poly and lives in a poly marriage and who opened me up to the fact that I am myself truly poly....

There was reciprocal love between us. She loved me with a greater intensity that I loved her for sure, but we were the best of friends for sure, as well as very intense lovers.

I think there is wisdom in your words..."People who perceive themselves as jilted can be very vindictive" - although I have no idea how I jilted her other than not choose her as my primary partner. I always told her that her family had to come before my relationship with her. She has a husband a two children, one quite young, whom I was not interested in coming between. I think that at some level, that really upset her.
Got it.

From what you've written, she sounds VERY unstable. There are a lot of people out there who you think you know well and think are normal that are hiding just how deranged they actually are. You should really watch your back for a while...

T.

Nostrings123
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by Nostrings123 » Thu Mar 21, 2019 11:59 am

troilusand wrote:
Thu Mar 21, 2019 11:22 am
From what you've written, she sounds VERY unstable. There are a lot of people out there who you think you know well and think are normal that are hiding just how deranged they actually are. You should really watch your back for a while...
Well yes I suppose I should. Although if she plans to shank me I am sure I will get shanked.
:???:
Feel free to email me nostrings123@gmail.com

troilusand
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by troilusand » Thu Mar 21, 2019 12:39 pm

Scary thought!

Nostrings123
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by Nostrings123 » Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:01 pm

troilusand wrote:
Thu Mar 21, 2019 12:39 pm
Scary thought!
If I was truly worried that she might, it would be. She is not going to shank me or anyone...she has a big job as an insurance company executive, a husband who works and a young kid who is primarily dependent on her for care....so I am not worried.
Feel free to email me nostrings123@gmail.com

troilusand
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by troilusand » Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:53 pm

Nostrings123 wrote:
Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:01 pm
troilusand wrote:
Thu Mar 21, 2019 12:39 pm
Scary thought!
If I was truly worried that she might, it would be. She is not going to shank me or anyone...she has a big job as an insurance company executive, a husband who works and a young kid who is primarily dependent on her for care....so I am not worried.
Isn't that the storyline for "Basic Instinct"?....Sorry, couldn't resist! :lol:

T.

Nostrings123
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by Nostrings123 » Thu Mar 21, 2019 3:09 pm

troilusand wrote:
Thu Mar 21, 2019 2:53 pm
Isn't that the storyline for "Basic Instinct"?....Sorry, couldn't resist! :lol:

T.
[/quote]

I don't recall the storyline of that movie, only the bathtub scene ...yikes :lol:
Feel free to email me nostrings123@gmail.com

jacobs_ladder
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by jacobs_ladder » Thu May 02, 2019 10:58 am

Nostrings123 wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 1:32 pm
troilusand wrote:
Wed Mar 20, 2019 12:34 pm
Nostrings, I'm confused why this is on the poly forum; was there more reciprocal love between you two than I'm reading in your posts?

Anyway, I hope this ends well for you. People who perceive themselves as jilted can be very vindictive...even if they're the one who left.

Troilus
The reason is that she is the first woman whom I have been with that is truly poly and lives in a poly marriage and who opened me up to the fact that I am myself truly poly....

There was reciprocal love between us. She loved me with a greater intensity that I loved her for sure, but we were the best of friends for sure, as well as very intense lovers.

I think there is wisdom in your words..."People who perceive themselves as jilted can be very vindictive" - although I have no idea how I jilted her other than not choose her as my primary partner. I always told her that her family had to come before my relationship with her. She has a husband a two children, one quite young, whom I was not interested in coming between. I think that at some level, that really upset her.

Nostrings, you earlier wrote about your unsuccessful attempts to deal with the “chip on her shoulder” that took the form of deep-seated dissatisfaction with herself. They are obvious insecurities, unresolved and unresolvable. Those were going to be triggered no matter how you dealt with separating from her. IMHO, of course.
Scrub her off.

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Wife4Guys
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by Wife4Guys » Thu May 02, 2019 2:47 pm

What he ^^^^ says. I had one I deeply loved but was just too effen crazy, bumped into her by chance 25 years later...not fixed yet. Love yourself more and move on.

Nostrings123
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by Nostrings123 » Mon May 13, 2019 3:03 pm

Yep...I have moved on....although she still has my rowing ergometer...GRRRR
Feel free to email me nostrings123@gmail.com

Nostrings123
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Re: This Happened

Unread post by Nostrings123 » Mon Sep 09, 2019 8:53 pm

Update...she recently contacted me and demanded that I remove all pictures of her from my fet page...(I had like 200 or so) - so I spent most of yesterday doing that.

She is deleted from my life.
Feel free to email me nostrings123@gmail.com

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