My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

[husband1110]

I, for one, would not worry about your wife keeping in touch with you during her time away. Your wife clearly loves you and she has always kept you in her life while she's been with Dan - this time should be no different. I'm sure you will have a great update for us all shortly. Best wishes.

[SutterKane]

Please come here and talk out your feeling! If you set and get deep into your own head, this will be a tough month for you and that won't be good for your wife and Dan relationship. I know how much supporting them and their relationship mean to you.
Best wishes,
Sutter

[john jasson]

Don't obsess about the month in a negative way. Don't be texting too often or expecting her to either. She said she wants to enjoy her lover just as a couple. Let her have that. She said she is worried about how much she is going to miss you. Let her do that too. The more she misses you the better. It will keep you on her mind, and focused on how lucky she is to have you far more than a dozen "I'm missing you." texts would do.

I can only illustrate the point with an experience of my own. When my wife who was deep into a heavy scene with a lover came to me one night and said: "We're playing with fire. I think I'm addicted to fucking him." I asked her if she wanted to stop. She said: "Hell no. I'm having the time of my life, but I will try to stop if YOU want me to." I told her to carry on and enjoy. I was confident in the strength of our marriage and knew that nothing could ever part us. If I'd said "Stop now." after encouraging her it would have diminished me in her eyes, and perhaps even with the best of intentions she couldn't have given him up. I didn't care how addicted she got so long as she was enjoying it on her own terms. If it had split us up then we didn't have what I thought we had in the first place. Call me complacent or arrogant, but I knew that would never happen.

[SutterKane]

Don't obsess about the month in a negative way. Don't be texting too often or expecting her to either. She said she wants to enjoy her lover just as a couple. Let her have that. She said she is worried about how much she is going to miss you. Let her do that too. The more she misses you the better. It will keep you on her mind, and focused on how lucky she is to have you far more than a dozen "I'm missing you." texts would do.

I can only illustrate the point with an experience of my own. When my wife who was deep into a heavy scene with a lover came to me one night and said: "We're playing with fire. I think I'm addicted to fucking him." I asked her if she wanted to stop. She said: "Hell no. I'm having the time of my life, but I will try to stop if YOU want me to." I told her to carry on and enjoy. I was confident in the strength of our marriage and knew that nothing could ever part us. If I'd said "Stop now." after encouraging her it would have diminished me in her eyes, and perhaps even with the best of intentions she couldn't have given him up. I didn't care how addicted she got so long as she was enjoying it on her own terms. If it had split us up then we didn't have what I thought we had in the first place. Call me complacent or arrogant, but I knew that would never happen.

I think you have the right Idea.

[SutterKane]

She has promised to stay in close touch. This will be new territory for all three of us.

Treat this like she went to spend a week or two with her old HS best girlfriend. Text her "Good morning, baby. Have fun today" And at night text "Good night my love. I hope you had a blast today!" No need, no matter how much you feel that need. When you call, once a week, keep it happy, enthusiastic and light. Don't get weepy! If anyone gets emotional, let it be her. Let her know you love and miss her but don't make her regret going to be with him. If you're really emotional about her being gone to be with him for a month, save it until she's been home for a few weeks, then tell her how hard it was. But don't lay this on her right after she comes home. If you can, never let her know. Be her rock.
Do this for her and she will love you for it.
Best wishes,
Sutter

[D+D]

I don't have any advice. I'm just learning from your experience. Hope you keep us updated about your thoughts, your feelings, and what you know about what they are doing.

[KennyA]

luckyguy3. It sounds like the three of you have the perfect relationship. I cannot think of a better, more loving birthday present, that you could have given your wife.

[luckyguy3]

Only a few days into this but so far, so good. Pretty normal feeling so far to tell the truth. She has spent a week or more with him several times before, nothing really different about this to start. I am just doing my best not to obsess about how much longer this visit will be for.

I have been very positive and upbeat with her, encouraging her to enjoy this special opportunity. Even had a call with Dan yesterday, joked with him that I hoped it would be ok for me to sleep with “his wife” when I go down to visit later in the month. He thought that was pretty funny.

Despite the joking nature of the call, that is pretty much what we are experimenting with. For this next month she is going to be his wife. She is staying with him, going out publicly with him. She holds herself out to the world there as his full time partner, just in a long distance relationship. And I know from our discussions that what excites her most about this month is the opportunity to not just be his lover but to really live with him as his partner.

[wingman]

Can you share fantasies about ho w you want to see this play out? Will help us better share what your feeling as she calls/texts you about her growing attachment to Dan.

[D+D]

Only a few days into this but so far, so good. Pretty normal feeling so far to tell the truth. She has spent a week or more with him several times before, nothing really different about this to start. I am just doing my best not to obsess about how much longer this visit will be for.

I have been very positive and upbeat with her, encouraging her to enjoy this special opportunity. Even had a call with Dan yesterday, joked with him that I hoped it would be ok for me to sleep with “his wife” when I go down to visit later in the month. He thought that was pretty funny.

Despite the joking nature of the call, that is pretty much what we are experimenting with. For this next month she is going to be his wife. She is staying with him, going out publicly with him. She holds herself out to the world there as his full time partner, just in a long distance relationship. And I know from our discussions that what excites her most about this month is the opportunity to not just be his lover but to really live with him as his partner.

Does it excite you to think about her as his wife and being a co-husband? Do you think that at some point she will consider him her husband?

[OZCPL]

I have just finished reading this thread and find it contains most interesting and informative information. I am not in a poly situation but it does help me to understand some of the problems and rewards it has to offer. It also does at times provide some hot reading. I just wish we could at some time see a pic of the beautiful sexy Jan no matter how conservative it is. Thanks for posting and please keep updating.

[luckyguy3]

Almost a week gone already, so far so good. We usually have one relatively brief check in call with each other sometime during the day but text fairly regularly. That seems to work better than calling her at night there.

Wanted to briefly respond to the questions that have come in.

1. What do I fantasize or imagine about how this will all play out? Answer to that is easy - I just plain don't know. Re fantasies, it is a definite turn on to know that she is living with him essentially as his wife/partner during this period. I know from texts that they are being very open about the living arrangement, with the exception that they do not tell people Jen is happily married to someone else. They have been going out in public together and have made a social date with another couple they have met in his building. Jen wears her wedding ring. In most situations people assume she is married to him. If they get questions, Jen's story is that she is separated from her husband - which is true enough for the moment. I do know that I would not want her gone this long on a regular basis. I miss her (but am not a basket case - far from it.)

2. Does it excite me to think about her as his wife and being a co-husband? Do you think at some point she will consider him her husband? Harder question, answer breaks down into two parts. Yes it excites me to think about her being his wife - while she is with him. I don't feel like a co-husband, I am her husband, the other half of the primary relationship here. I think Jen really likes filling the role of being Dan's wife, the only woman in his life. She definitely thinks of him as her man, her friend, her lover. As to how much she thinks of him as her husband, that is something I guess we are seeing play out now.

Off to work, another busy day with the tourists. One of our summer workers is a young woman originally from France. Lovely girl, gorgeous eyes, looks stunning. Sexy accent and more than a bit of a flirt. Have thought about her more than once the past few days. But she is an employee and only 22. Hands off. Sigh . . .

[SutterKane]

One of our summer workers is a young woman originally from France. Lovely girl, gorgeous eyes, looks stunning. Sexy accent and more than a bit of a flirt. Have thought about her more than once the past few days. But she is an employee and only 22. Hands off. Sigh . . .

But she a seasonal employee, and the season only lasts so long...

[DavaoMike]

You might have answered this somewhere else, but would your wife object if you decided to pursue a side thing with another woman while she's away or otherwise?

[Suchen Zucker]

Hehe, I think his wife would jerk a knot in his head if he ever was to consider such a thing.
That said, it's fucking tough for an older male to turn away a really hot young female if she is determined to bed you...
Attractive women of all ages get approached throughout their lives and I guess they just get used to it, but it doesn't happen very often to an average middle-aged, middle income, married male. When it does, you can go crazy stupid and take risks like a damn teenager. Been there, done that. Now haunted by the availability of DNA testing kits...

[D+D]

Thanks for answering the questions and keeping us updated. I will follow with great anticipation. I know all will be good, but to see how their relationship develops and what might follow will be very informative.

[luckyguy3]

Actually, I have seen a couple of other women over the course of the past number of years with Jens knowledge and support. Both were married and their husbands knew. In one case the husband asked that we stop , he could not handle it. Been a year or more since I have seen the other. Neither situation was anything like the relationship Jen and Dan share.

In the case of the 22 year old, Jen knows her and has seen her flirt with me. And to be frank she was not happy about it. Jen brought up all the stuff about not fooling around with an employee and she is absolutely right. But I suspect she also was a bit jealous because the girl was so much younger and very very cute.

I can only agree with the comment that things like this (the 22 year old) don’t often happen to guys like us. I sure wish the circumstances were different. And how ironic that it happen right now when Jen is in Dan’s bed for a month.

[wagonmaker1]

great story, glad things are still going so well for all 3 of u, after over 5 yrs. u mentioned your hw's birthday, would u want to tell us your ages? some other stories on here, after a while the husband stops posting, leaving us reading, to wonder if somwething bad has happened to the relationship it seems like your is & will be going strong for a lone time to come. thanks for sharing.

[luckyguy3]

Early 50’s for Jen, a little more for me. I look it. She does not! Blue eyes, blonde hair (with a little help) and a body women twenty years younger would die for.

[Observer1931]

Lucky3 I believe you said that Jen shared the details of her sex with Dan. Do you expect that she will continue during this period too?

[HowardRoarke]

Isn't it funny how the Universe has interceded during your wife's "month to focus on Dan"? Nothing like the gamine attentions of a vivacious 22 year-old French nymph to keep you front and center in your wife's thoughts, huh? Bet she's looking forward to your weekend there with the two of them even more NOW than she thought she would.

Here's hoping your little coquette continues to throw herself at you every damn day, and that you tell your wife every single detail.

[luckyguy3]

READER BEWARE: this is going to be a long post, maybe a record even for me (and I can be a windy poster.) But some real significant events this weekend, feel the need to share the details as I heard them from Jen.

Jen and I have been texting several times every day since she flew down to join Dan on the 5th. We have also talked on the phone a few times, but not for very long. Mostly the phone contacts are pretty brief, during the day. A chance for us to hear each other’s voices and make sure all is ok.
But this morning was different. Got a text from her mid morning saying that Dan had gone out for a long run and asking if I had time “to talk about a personal matter.” That was a red flag to me – I knew something was up. During the busy summer season I go into the office every day, even on Sundays. Gotta keep those clients happy. But talking to Jen under these circumstances was a priority, so I went outside and called her while sitting in my car. Ended up on the phone with her for the next half hour. or more What she had to say was so surprising that I jotted down a bunch of notes after we said goodbye.

Finally got away from the shop an hour or so ago, came home and poured myself a glass of wine and started writing down everything Jen had told me according to my notes and my memory. Here is her story as best as I can recreate it.

***
Jen said she wanted to tell me about what happened yesterday (Saturday.) There was a sale at a women’s clothing store she likes and after lunch she was going to “just look.” To her surprise Dan asked if he could come along. Turns out that in all the years of his marriage Dan had never been on a serious clothes shopping trip with Sally – he had avoided it like the plague. But he wanted to accompany Jen, said he was curious to see what types of things she liked.

They headed off together. Jen looked through all the sale items and found a skirt in the clearance rack she liked. But, again to her surprise, Dan had an opinion on the matter. He said that it didn’t look “classy” enough for her and asked if there was a more upscale place they could check out. That’s a dangerous thing to ask my Jen. They ended up spending the entire afternoon going from one boutique to another until Jen had found a dress and shoes they both liked. She even got a little leather clutch purse that matched as well. Dan insisted on paying for everything, saying that since he had told her she should get something more upscale it was his duty as a gentleman to take care of the bill.

Afterwards Dan took Jen out to dinner at a romantic restaurant within walking distance of his place. As often happens, they ended up talking about their relationship and the unique situation we were all in. Dan thanked Jen for making this extended time to be with him and expressed his appreciation of me for encouraging it. Maybe it was the wine they were sharing, but it turned into one of those rare occasions when Dan opened up to Jen about his feelings without her having to drag it out of him. He told her how much he loved her, how happy he was that she was in his life. He also shared how it was always hard for him each time she left to return to me. He said it “comes with the territory”, that he was ok with it, but he wanted her to understand that he did miss her when she was away.

***
At this point I told Jen how much I appreciated her sharing all this with me and that I understood how Dan was feeling. Jen said “Wait, there’s more.”

***
Towards the end of the dinner Dan took her hand (they are being openly affectionate in public now). This is approximately what he said to her, as relayed to me by Jen.

“I know how much you love [LG3]. He is my oldest friend. I don’t ever want to do anything to mess you guys up. I know there will always be limits on our time together. I’m good with that. I made the choices that put me in this situation. But what I really need from you is this. When we are together, when it is just us, I need you to be all mine. Can you do that?”

Jen told me it was probably the most emotional she had ever seen him. She told Dan that she understood his feelings. She told him she loved him. And she told him that yes, when it was just the two of them she was all his - friend, lover and partner. Essentially his wife, although neither one of them used that word. Dan said “that’s all I needed to hear” and called for the check.

When they got home they had sex in his living room. Jen had revealed to me not long before she left that Dan had initiated her in some mild dom-sub stuff, but tonight was different. Dan was a little tipsy from the wine and from the start he seemed to focus on being totally in charge and taking her. Dan kept the lights off but opened the curtains wide. It was still summer twilight outside. He made Jen stand facing the windows then reached around her and started unbuttoning her blouse. He stripped her so that she was standing completely naked facing the glass sliding doors to their little balcony.

Had anyone from one of the nearby buildings or the street taken a close look in their direction they would have easily been able to see her lovely body through the glass. Jen is so amazing – in her early fifties with the body of a woman in her late twenties, I swear to God. Curly blonde hair that frames her face. Smaller but perfectly shaped breasts with sensitive red nipples. A high waist that makes her seem taller than she really is that leads down to sexy hips and a truly fantastic ass. Lovely long legs, a distance runner’s strong but slender thighs and perfect calves.

Once Jen was naked Dan stood behind her, reaching around her and squeezing her nipples with one hand while caressing her womanhood with the fingers of the other. Jen told me it was really erotic to have him doing this while she was on display to the world. Jen is a powerful, intelligent competent person. But she does have a submissive sexual side that Dan was really tapping into. Still fully clothed himself, he had her turn around and kneel in front of him. Then he got out his cock and held it toward her mouth. She started sucking him, gently at first, then more actively. Dan placed his hands behind her head, pulling at her hair while pushing her face into his groin. Jen knows what he likes and tried hard to make him cum.
But before that happened Dan pushed her away.

Pulling Jen to her feet by her wrists, he had her turn away from him and placed her hands on the heavy glass sliding door. He forced her thighs apart and back so that she was leaning forward against the door with her legs spread wide. Stepping out of his pants, he entered her from behind and began to move inside her, his hands wrapped around her squeezing her nipples very hard. Jen said he was very dominant, thrusting hard and telling her how he wanted people to see that she was his woman. Jen said she was incredibly wet and excited by this point, really turned on by his dominance. She came very quickly. But Dan’s response was to thrust even harder and order her to cum again. Soon she did, a couple of more times, moaning so loudly she later worried that some of their neighbors may have heard. Dan lowered his hands from her breasts to her hips to pull her ass towards him. Now he was really pounding her. Jen said this part wasn’t lovemaking, it was pure animal fucking. As Dan fucked her he grunted directly into her ear “Who’s woman are you now? Jen was so overcome with the sex that she did not answer. Dan fucked her even harder and almost shouted “Who do you belong to?” Jen told me she was so totally in the moment with his dominance at this point that she moaned back “I’m yours.” Dan pretty much exploded inside her and Jen came with him one last time.

Afterwards they staggered into the bedroom and collapsed across the bed. Dan kept apologizing for the way that he had behaved with her, saying he did not know what had come over him. Jen took him in her arms as they lay together. She held him for a long time, gently stroking his face and hair, telling him that everything was okay, that he had been incredible for her. And that yes, she was his woman.

***
As you might imagine, I was pretty much blown away by all this. I was also rock hard. Jen was apologetic, as if she was confessing that she had done something wrong. She was definitely fearful about how I would react but was also absolutely committed to telling me the full truth as we had promised each other before she left. So brave of her.

I think my reaction surprised both of us. I told her I loved her, if anything more than ever. I told her that she had not done anything wrong. I told her I was glad she was so honest with me. And I told her that I was not upset with Dan either and that if I had been in his shoes I would have been pretty much asking her for the same type of commitment while she was me.

Jen was so relieved. She told me how much she loved me, said that she was really missing me right now and thanked me again for understanding and for making this all possible for her. Then she sort of laughed and said “Are we crazy?” I knew just what she meant.

Now I am sitting here with my second glass of cabernet re-reading these words, envisioning her in Dan's condo, feeling the same as I did this morning. But also wondering if this makes any sense at all. I am certainly not mad at Jen. I am not angry at Dan. I was totally turned on by her description of their sex. But is that a “normal” reaction? Should I be furious at him that he took her this way? Or feel betrayed that she enjoyed it so much? Should I be insanely jealous that she told him she was “his woman?” Or can compersion really allow me to be happy for both of them? To feel joy that they can be so passionate, so close – while she is still my true love, my beloved wife and partner for life?

Or as Jen put it more succinctly – are we crazy?

LG3

[Suchen Zucker]

Dan's feelings for your wife sound rather unhealthy don't you think? What could he be thinking fooling himself that your wife is his when she is with him? Playing around and being fond of one another is one thing, but he could be setting himself up for major hurt when he can no longer pretend that your wife will never really be his. He may say that he knows his place and will never do anything that would harm your marriage, but you can't always control how you feel. He could do something stupid or make Jen do something she wouldn't normally do out of concern for him or you because he has let his feelings for her get out of balance with the actual situation. Jen should take care to keep their relationship based in reality lest you want drama down the road. I mean ask yourself - do you really want your wife even pretending she "belongs" to another man when you are not around? Where does your "best" friend get off even asking her that shit? She's not a damn bowling ball you've loaned out. I think he disrespected you man...

[wittol]

It does seem a little . . . proprietary? Sorta like he's demanding, he's now the primary, and you're not. Seems you value the compersion . . . does he?

Any event, fascinating story, excellent writing. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[D+D]

Problem is you can't control the emotions of others. You also can't help who you are and the kinks you have. Your wife has deep emotional feelings for Dan. In fact she has said she loves him, but she's never said she's "in love" with him and she never will. Are you crazy? Yes. My wife and I have often said the same thing, we're crazy for doing it, but we do. I think that she should be his when they're alone. She should basically be his wife, his friend, his partner. Would it be as erotic for you if she wasn't? And after all, they're spending a month together as a couple. You have to have a deep emotional relationship to do that. It can't be just about sex when your in the same home together for a month. And of course he can't hardly bare to see her go because he is in love with her. The cool thing is you text everyday. You visit on the phone, you're on her mind. When she's worried, afraid, perplexed, she calls you, not him. You know why? Because you're her soulmate. Yeah you're crazy to be away from someone who you love more than life itself voluntarily for a whole month, but hell you're in this LS because you're a cuckold who gets off sharing your most beloved treasure, your wife. We're all crazy to let other men have our wives for even an hour, but we do.