My wife has fallen in love with my best friend

[Long Lurker 34]

With the discussion with Jen regarding the "public" opening up, as it were, was there anything about Deb in the mix of all this?

[Observer1931]

Great update and thanks for coming back. Hope things move along for all. My Best to you.

[mundyman]

Tell Jen I honestly don’t give two f’s where you live. I’m just too uninterested to work that hard to figure it all out.
Like some here I’m just interested, curious, and intrigued about people in the lifestyle, the many forms it takes, and how they make it work.
In terms of going public, I would find it ironic that your daughter, who had a baby out of wedlock or a more permanent relationship, would seriously judge you and your wife if you presented it in the right way. In addition I’m sure she probably would have a hard time seeing your wife cuddling or having PDA with Dan. That said, I think new forms of relationships are much acceptable then they have been. Unless you, your wife, or especially your daughter are conservative holy rollers, I think your daughter might be more accepting then you think. Like you and your wife, your daughter would probably want certain perimeters established, but I don’t think it will be as bad as you think.
If you and your wife have raised your daughter to be more open minded, then that probably applies to your current situation. Maybe not you and her Auntie just yet. I might hold off on that one for a while.
But it is 2020, and I think our kids are more progressive then we think.
Good luck to you and your family.
Best of health to your new grandchild and her mother.
I look forward to reading how you move forward in this lifestyle.

[subtoall]

I have a hunch coming out to family and any others you choose will be close to a non-event, and you will kick yourselves over why you waited so long to do it. What usually holds us back from doing this is only our own shame.

There is incredible freedom in living your life authentically and you will reap the rewards of that in ways you can't now imagine.

[bubbajack]

One great thing about this thread that I have long admired is the willingness of those involved - jointly and severally - to entertain and adapt to changes in their highly sensitive relationships.

One very general aspect of human sexuality that never should be ignored or disrespected is that there are always relational values involved: the demanding selves, the collaborative other(s) and the (contingently ) supportive whole.

I have never sensed that anyone involved in this growing network of relationships (I remember the story leading up to the first time Jen fucked another guy and the subsequent adventures - I loved the pics of Jen in her outfits for going to a swingers event) has been too secretive, deceptive, uncaring, or unconcerned with the environments within which it is all taking place (societal, business, family, &c.) to think about, to understand, and to do whatever they can to make it all work.

[Whosbeensleeping]

That's a lovely update. Wishing you continued joy and a natural unfolding of good things.

[D+D]

Anyone with half a brain (which I apparently do not have) will note that Jen and I had a talk in August about me visiting Deb while Jen held a baby that supposedly was not born until a month later. Jen noticed it just now when I showed her the post and gave me holy hell about it. I have fallen victim to the perils of having to constantly change dates, places and descriptions in these posts to avoid revealing our real identities and locales. Jen thinks I have revealed too much already. Anyway, just call me stupid (accurate enough) and count me as another person who gets frustrated by all the hoops we have to run through and cover stories we have to keep track of all in the name of "discretion".

LG3

If you "come out", as you put it about your alternative lifestyle, then dates, places, and such will no longer matter making your updates much easier and informative.

[sarawithlove2]

I am totally fascinated by this thread. I check it every time I log in hoping to see an update. The most recent post has left me all a tingle and even more excited for the new developments. Please update as soon as you can manage. Thank you for sharing this with us!

[DLD]

Love is love. People who don’t like it don’t have to, but it doesn’t change what it is. Keep us posted on how it goes.

[samlowen]

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are enjoying this wonderful time with your grandchild.

[romantic]

My wife is very thankful for my friend Jeff, who is 6'1 and has a 7.5 inch cock, for keeping her entertained during quarantine (and for giving me tips on doggy style!)

[DLD]

Any updates, luckyguy3 ?

[boing469]

What a lovely well written open poly relationship... very human sensitive story so well shared by all involved... love to read more as things evolve... all the best to you sexy pervs!!

[yielding william]

It happens. When a wife is regularly fucking another man over a long time they fall in love. But my wife says it's possible to love two or more men at the same time. Doesn't bother me but I get why some husbands don't like it and why some wives leave their husbands for another man. That is the risk for couples who don't have good communication and an otherwise good marriage.

[DavaoMike]

It happens. When a wife is regularly fucking another man over a long time they fall in love. But my wife says it's possible to love two or more men at the same time. Doesn't bother me but I get why some husbands don't like it and why some wives leave their husbands for another man. That is the risk for couples who don't have good communication and an otherwise good marriage.

My wife, Maricel, is deeply in love with her longtime boyfriend, Adam, who has lived with us for over three years. I’m over 30 years older than her, and Adam is about Maricel’s age. My libido has waned over the years such that I’m happy with sex about every 3 weeks, whereas Adam and Maricel make love almost daily. I’m never “denied,” as Maricel wants me as much as I’m able, but Adam is her primary sex partner, by default.

Nevertheless, I’ve never felt that Maricel’s love for Adam has, in any way, diminished her love for me, as her husband. Everyone is happy, and there’s no sense of competition.

DM

[DLD]

It’s been over three months. Hopefully everyone and everything is OK.

[drwofwof]

i binged this thread early week and have become addicted.
Great LG, that's all i can say...
it's so amazing that it's REAL also...
Look forward to every post...

[luckyguy3]

Thanks to all the posters who have checked in to see how things are going during the extended time I have been “off the air”. I have also had several kind PM’s asking if things are ok. Felt it was time I answered.

No point in beating around the bush. Main reason I have not been posting is that I have been battling an extended stretch of the blues. I guess the technical term would be “depression “, although I hate the sound of that. It’s fair to say that COVID is the culprit. Not so much because of the way it has almost completely shut down our unique lifestyle, although that is certainly depressing enough. No, the really devastating impact has been to our business.

Many years ago Jen and I walked away from successful professional careers and invested literally everything we had in our own entrepreneurial dream. We opened up an outdoor adventure tour business, something we had always dreamed of. It was the best decision she and I ever made. The business was a little slow the first year or so but began to thrive after we established our reputation for exciting yet safe water adventures. Then we used that reputation to establish relationships with tour brokers, especially the cruise ship industry. We plowed a lot of profits into expansion and things just kept getting better and better. A year ago our business future looked as bright as could be, and we anticipated continuing to generate good annual profits before eventually selling out for a whole bunch of cash and relatively early retirement.

Then came COVID. Completely shut us down for 2020. Our retained cash, supplemented by some modest federal relief funds, allowed us to scrape by and still pay our ongoing maintenance expenses (which are high) and debt service. Losing a full year of business hurt - badly - but did not put us under water. We were looking forward to at least a half season in 2021 to keep us afloat.

Then late last year it started becoming more evident that there might not be any significant season for us in 2021. None of the major brokers or cruise companies are renewing their contracts .Cruise tourists are our biggest source of customers so this is devastating for us.

Although we could have sold the business for a very tidy sum 18 months ago there is virtually no market for it now. So we are stuck.

In the good news front our grand child is thriving, growing and developing more every day. Her mom (our daughter) is tentatively planning to relocate to the town where her sister lives later this year, assuming the vaccination program is pretty successfully concluded by then. I think that will be good for her. She is close to her sister and brother in law ( she will live with them to start) and would be in a better situation to find a decent job and also to meet someone there. So that’s all good.

Her projected moving plans have taken the pressure off Jen to tell her about Dan. I am not sure she would have ever done it anyway (although Dan kept hoping she would.). During the winter months and severe COVID times it has been much harder for Jen to come up with excuses for being gone from the house for any extended period. She has been seeing Dan maybe once every other week.

I was able to visit Deb for several days in early January, pretext was a house issue she needed help with. Have not seen her since. Her school district reopened for live classes a month ago. Good news is that her state granted vaccine eligibility to all teachers and she has already had both shots. Not so good news (for me at least) is that the male teacher at her school who was after her a year ago has resumed his pursuit big time. I think she is interested - and she certainly is lonely- so will have to see what repercussions that has down the road. Hard to imagine she will want to continue intimacy with me if a real relationship develops. Most of all I want her to be happy. We had a really nice three days last month.

So that’s what’s going on. I have been logging onto the site pretty regularly just to check out posts on various boards, but have not had the heart to post myself. For some reason today I figured it was time to quit moping and give an update.

Hope all of you are staying healthy in your various locales. This COVID shit will end, hopefully in not too many more months. Then we can all see what the “new normal” looks like for us professionally and personally.

LG3

[luckyguy3]

Thanks to all the posters who have checked in to see how things are going during the extended time I have been “off the air”. I have also had several kind PM’s asking if things are ok. Felt it was time I answered.

No point in beating around the bush. Main reason I have not been posting is that I have been battling an extended stretch of the blues. I guess the technical term would be “depression “, although I hate the sound of that. It’s fair to say that COVID is the culprit. Not so much because of the way it has almost completely shut down our unique lifestyle, although that is certainly depressing enough. No, the really devastating impact has been to our business.

Many years ago Jen and I walked away from successful professional careers and invested literally everything we had in our own entrepreneurial dream. We opened up an outdoor adventure tour business, something we had always dreamed of. It was the best decision she and I ever made. The business was a little slow the first year or so but began to thrive after we established our reputation for exciting yet safe water adventures. Then we used that reputation to establish relationships with tour brokers, especially the cruise ship industry. We plowed a lot of profits into expansion and things just kept getting better and better. A year ago our business future looked as bright as could be, and we anticipated continuing to generate good annual profits before eventually selling out for a whole bunch of cash and relatively early retirement.

Then came COVID. Completely shut us down for 2020. Our retained cash, supplemented by some modest federal relief funds, allowed us to scrape by and still pay our ongoing maintenance expenses (which are high) and debt service. Losing a full year of business hurt - badly - but did not put us under water. We were looking forward to at least a half season in 2021 to keep us afloat.

Then late last year it started becoming more evident that there might not be any significant season for us in 2021. None of the major brokers or cruise companies are renewing their contracts .Cruise tourists are our biggest source of customers so this is devastating for us.

Although we could have sold the business for a very tidy sum 18 months ago there is virtually no market for it now. So we are stuck.

In the good news front our grand child is thriving, growing and developing more every day. Her mom (our daughter) is tentatively planning to relocate to the town where her sister lives later this year, assuming the vaccination program is pretty successfully concluded by then. I think that will be good for her. She is close to her sister and brother in law ( she will live with them to start) and would be in a better situation to find a decent job and also to meet someone there. So that’s all good.

Her projected moving plans have taken the pressure off Jen to tell her about Dan. I am not sure she would have ever done it anyway (although Dan kept hoping she would.). During the winter months and severe COVID times it has been much harder for Jen to come up with excuses for being gone from the house for any extended period. She has been seeing Dan maybe once every other week.

I was able to visit Deb for several days in early January, pretext was a house issue she needed help with. Have not seen her since. Her school district reopened for live classes a month ago. Good news is that her state granted vaccine eligibility to all teachers and she has already had both shots. Not so good news (for me at least) is that the male teacher at her school who was after her a year ago has resumed his pursuit big time. I think she is interested - and she certainly is lonely- so will have to see what repercussions that has down the road. Hard to imagine she will want to continue intimacy with me if a real relationship develops. Most of all I want her to be happy. We had a really nice three days last month.

So that’s what’s going on. I have been logging onto the site pretty regularly just to check out posts on various boards, but have not had the heart to post myself. For some reason today I figured it was time to quit moping and give an update.

Hope all of you are staying healthy in your various locales. This COVID shit will end, hopefully in not too many more months. Then we can all see what the “new normal” looks like for us professionally and personally.

LG3

[regular3]

All the best LG. Covid has shut thousands of businesses and ruined lives around the world but we are a resilient bunch and will rebuild and bounce back in one form or another.
Most importantly your family is safe and well, you're enjoying your time with your grand daughter and daughter and Jen is still able to see Dan to keep that simmering.
Thank you for touching base and we'll keep sending positive vibes from Australia.

[DLD]

I’m so sorry to hear about your business. Hang in there.

[Laney26]

COVID sucks so hard. I am hopeful things will better this summer fingers crossed!

[Des 31]

In answer to your opening question about whether others has fallen in love with any one of the men she has had sex with, the answer is yes for my wife. Ultimately, she realized the potential danger to our marital relationship. All our lives, neither of us has believed in separation or divorce in a marriage except under extreme circumstances of physical or psychological abuse. For that reason and that our marriage was rather solid, she broke it off but the emotional impact lasted several weeks thereafter.

That is certainly a possibility in this lifestyle when an affair goes on for an extended time. With that difficult education behind her, she now keeps a certain arms-length distance in her emotions when having sex with other men. She still has sex with others but for the past three years has mostly been involved with two very good partners but occasionally also has sex with others. She "loves" each of those two but it isn't the same.

That's one reason she and I never recommend open marriages to others. It works for us but isn't for everyone. I cannot offer a solution for a husband under these circumstances other than encouraging the wife to break it off. At some point, that probably won't be easy for her;' but if it isn't done, psychological difficulties will almost certainly arise in time for either or both of the married partners, and that can be far worse than the emotional impact of just walking away.

[Tracey52]

In answer to your opening question about whether others has fallen in love with any one of the men she has had sex with, the answer is yes for my wife. Ultimately, she realized the potential danger to our marital relationship. All our lives, neither of us has believed in separation or divorce in a marriage except under extreme circumstances of physical or psychological abuse. For that reason and that our marriage was rather solid, she broke it off but the emotional impact lasted several weeks thereafter.

That is certainly a possibility in this lifestyle when an affair goes on for an extended time. With that difficult education behind her, she now keeps a certain arms-length distance in her emotions when having sex with other men. She still has sex with others but for the past three years has mostly been involved with two very good partners but occasionally also has sex with others. She "loves" each of those two but it isn't the same.

That's one reason she and I never recommend open marriages to others. It works for us but isn't for everyone. I cannot offer a solution for a husband under these circumstances other than encouraging the wife to break it off. At some point, that probably won't be easy for her;' but if it isn't done, psychological difficulties will almost certainly arise in time for either or both of the married partners, and that can be far worse than the emotional impact of just walking away.

Des have you written about this in your own thread? If so where? I would be very interested to know when this happened.

[Des 31]

Tracey52[/b] post_id=1178965 time=1614511667 user_id=91968]

In answer to your opening question about whether others has fallen in love with any one of the men she has had sex with, the answer is yes for my wife. Ultimately, she realized the potential danger to our marital relationship. All our lives, neither of us has believed in separation or divorce in a marriage except under extreme circumstances of physical or psychological abuse. For that reason and that our marriage was rather solid, she broke it off but the emotional impact lasted several weeks thereafter.

That is certainly a possibility in this lifestyle when an affair goes on for an extended time. With that difficult education behind her, she now keeps a certain arms-length distance in her emotions when having sex with other men. She still has sex with others but for the past three years has mostly been involved with two very good partners but occasionally also has sex with others. She "loves" each of those two but it isn't the same.

That's one reason she and I never recommend open marriages to others. It works for us but isn't for everyone. I cannot offer a solution for a husband under these circumstances other than encouraging the wife to break it off. At some point, that probably won't be easy for her;' but if it isn't done, psychological difficulties will almost certainly arise in time for either or both of the married partners, and that can be far worse than the emotional impact of just walking away.

Des have you written about this in your own thread? If so where? I would be very interested to know when this happened.

Hi Tracey. Actually, I did once write about it here but among all those former postings I transferred to our ongoing thread, that wasn't one of them. My wife prefers I not bring it up in conversation so I didn't copy and paste that one to our thread.

We placed two personals ads when we first started down this path and each received many responses. Among those she agreed to meet was a local 28 year old man who worked as a window dresser for a chain of mens' clothing stores around our state. He was a slender guy about her height and she agreed to meet him for dinner after work at a pancake restaurant then in operation downtown. I didn't accompany her that night, didn't meet him then or even after that.

They got together at his home that weekend. He traveled a lot in his job, going from store to store to set up window displays, but she was at his home often. I had no problem with it. But after about six months of regular fucking, he expressed his love for her. That wasn't the usual sort of "love" expression in the heat of passion but a sincere emotion. He wasn't the only man during that time she was having sex with but realized her feelings were becoming similarly deep.

To this day, I don't even know what he looks like beyond what she has told me, that he was "slender" with very dark brown hair and, in her opinion, good-looking. He had been married at a young age but divorced as a result of his frequent travel. The frequent and sometimes week-long separations required by his job had allowed his former wife to fall into an affair with another man and left him.

She admitted all this to me in bed a night after returning from his place and expressed guilt she had let it go so far. I understood how it happened as she went on with her explanation and told her I would let her handle it. She promised it would never affect our marriage and would think it over.

They had plans to spend Friday night through Sunday together the following week. I didn't ask anymore about it but had some concerns about her frustrations having developed over that time. I was to be out of town that week through the following Wednesday. She told me the night before I left she intended to break off the relationship. She felt it had gone too far. I told her I would support her no matter what she decided, even if it meant her being unable to call the relationship to a halt.

She waited until that Sunday morning before telling him, but the previous two nights of sex had been hotter than any she had with others before him. Their emotions during sex that Friday night and Saturday were at fever pitch. She likened the intensity to that of honeymoon sex.

He cried when she told him it was over. When I returned home from my trips, she had tears in her eyes as she told me all she hadn't previously said in our phone calls while I was on the road. It took a while for her to get over the breakup and I understood why. She said she would never again let her good sense to allow that to happen.

You may have read a few times in our thread when I mentioned she can become attached to someone but keeps an emotional arms-length between her any other man. It was that experience that taught her the necessity. She can "love" a guy when having sex, but it's more of a friendship-with-sex relationship. Her more common expression about sex with others is that, after all, it's just fun. She has never again become depressed whenever these extramarital relationships end, and - eventually - they all do.

I won't be adding any of that to our thread but don't mind telling about it this once. This is the first time since my original, separate post it's been mentioned. The moderators of the Hotwife board deleted all my old posts when I began our ongoing thread and had copied-and-pasted most of those separate, earlier writings to our current thread.

~ Des