Another man loves my wife

[mathuranjali]

Yeah to post a pic you have to post in the hotties section.

[lagercandle2014]

Mark I agree with a lot of others and yourself, your timing seems about right to tell Juli your feelings and the way you hope both of you can agree on what to do next in your marriage, I realy hope she is onboard with you about how you both want to happen.

Cant wait to see a photo's of Juli keep posting.

Good luck my friend I'm rooting for you both LC.

[co-husband]

Hi guys..I have posted some pictures of Juli in the Hotties Forum. Let me know what you think of her.

Mark

[D+D]

As I wrote in the hotties, she is a very beautiful lady. She looks as if she enjoys posing nude. Bet she will be receptive to becoming a hotwife to you and lover to Brian. Is that what you still want? Because if it is, I think it's within your grasp!

[viking53]

Hi Mark,

Just found this thread through the pictures you posted. Juli's pictures intrigued me so much that I wanted to find out more and really enjoyed reading through your posts. I have been following this site for some time and its threads like this that make this site so interesting and worth following. Its all about relationships, with a sexual dimension, but it is the story of the relationships that is key and what one learns so much from. I find your story so similar in many ways to my own situation.

I have known my wife for 41 years, married for 38 years. As all marriages, we have had our ups and downs but generally it has been a fantastic marriage with 3 children and now 3 grandchildren. We were both virgins when we got to know each other and there have been no other sexual partners since then. For the past few years, I have been more and more stimulated by the thought of my wife having sex with other men, preferably long term relationships. I think she would get so much from it and I am sure it would benefit our relationship as well. I am always the sexual initiator and I really think she would enjoy opening up more. So far, no luck but I haven't given up and keep reminding her of the opportunity.

The chord that really struck with me was the special relationship between Juli and Brian. I have travelled a lot in my job for many years and during that time, I have come into contact with a lot of very beautiful, very intelligent and sensual women. For some reason, some of these women have turned to me when in difficult situations, a nasty divorce or troubled marriages. I have become very close to some of these women and it has developed into long term platonic relationships, but very deep. The longest has lasted more than 20 years and in two of them, we have expressed love for each other for some time now. However, it has always been clear that my marriage comes first and we have never gone as far as sex, although we have talked about it. My wife knows about these long term relationships and if anything, it has strengthened our relationship. However, I would still be very happy if she could open up and have a sexual relationship with another man.

Sorry to hijack your thread, but your story inspired me to open up myself.

Getting back to you, I think you should tell Juli how turned on you are by her youthful 3some and how you get turned on when you meet the guy involved. I think that would help explain to her why you would be happy to see the relationship with Brian develop further.

Jan

[co-husband]

Hi Jan...thank you very much for adding your comments and sharing your situation as well. I too have come to the realization that the emotional bond between my wife and our friend is a very powerful aphrodisiac. Probably is for all 3 of us, I know it is for me. I'm sure that if and when it gets to the level of Juli and Brian actually "consummating" their friendship by adding sex to the relationship, it will be even more intense than I can imagine. But one thing I have learned through the responses here is that I can and should enjoy the unique situation that I am currently in. Just to hear my wife say out loud that another man has told her that he is in love with her, and to read those words for myself on her phone in the texts that he sends her, truly is an amazing feeling for me as a husband.

As I've shared here in this thread, Juli had multiple sex partners before I started dating her, and I was the virgin on our wedding night, so just that diversity of sexual experience has made for a very interesting marriage. A great one for 33 years, and I feel that is the foundation for us to freely pursue a polyamorous and or a polysexual relationship with another man. I have no fear of losing Juli and I think, just as you said, it would enhance our own marriage intimacy. I think it already has just by me sharing her emotionally with Brian.

Thanks again for writing..I welcome all comments.

Mark

[bradisalpha]

Mark,

Juli's photos are very HOT !! I can't wait to hear about Friday's date !! Is she mentioning it or showing excitement to meet him again ?? Don't be afraid to show her your excitement also. Maybe even suggest that she wears something a little sexy for him ... Telling her that you think he would certainly appreciate that. Support her and enjoy the pleasure you feel as Friday comes. We can't wait to hear the updates !!

[co-husband]

Just to give you an update on things.
It's Friday morning as I write, and Juli will be leaving about 11 AM to have lunch with Brian. I do plan to talk to her next week and will let you know if I learn anything new. Juli and I have to be out of town until Wednesday so I may not have an opportunity to post until then. But here are a couple of things that I've noticed this week that have caused me to wonder. I don't know if they mean anything at all, but I will just lay them out here and let you guys with more experience give your opinion:

Earlier this week Juli was depressed / upset about a situation that is personal (nothing concerning the situation with Brian) and I will not share it here, but as she and I were talking, she made the comment that she doesn't feel she has any girlfriends that she can talk to about things ( I listen to Juli and try to be sympathetic but I'm a typical man, have no idea what to do when a woman cries lol). At one point in the conversation, I rather slyly (and half joking) said, "maybe you could call Brian and talk to him about what is bothering you". Juli looked up at me and rather hesitantly said "I called Brian yesterday and we talked. It did help me to feel better". When I heard Juli say that, I felt that deep feeling in the pit of my stomach, the mix of surreal and reality to know that my wife went to another man for emotional comfort.

Also something I've noticed this past week is that the late night texts from Brian have not come every day like they had been. I thought maybe he is just busy around the holidays. But Juli still comes to bed very late at night long after I have gone to bed. One morning I felt her crawl into bed with me at 2:30 AM. I have not yet been able to look at the call log on her phone, but I wonder if rather than texting, they are now talking on the phone each night. And Juli is now feeling much better about the issue that was troubling her earlier in the week.

Finally, when Juli is on her lunch dates with Brian, of course it is arousing for me to know my wife is talking privately with another man, and honestly I'm always tempted to have some self-gratification thinking about them together, but Juli usually wants us to have sex on the evenings after her dates with Brian, so at my age (55) I have to be careful not to have a release too soon before sex, or I won't be able to perform for her (you men over 50 I know understand what I'm talking about.lol) I only mention this here because someone in an earlier post asked me if Juli is more amorous toward me after her dates..and the answer is yes.

I'll keep you posted.

Mark

[Wonderfultoo]

Sounds like 2015 might be a very interesting year for you. Good Luck!

[Frakkmywife]

Hmm lunch dates, late night phone calls(?). It looks like things between Juli and Brian are progressing quicker than you may realize. She may be ready to drop her panties for him any time now. Keep us up to date.

[bradisalpha]

Mark,

I am anxious to hear how hot Juli was for sex Friday after her lunch with Brian. I was the one who asked if she was more amorous after her dates with Brian and I suspected she was ... Which confirms that he is having a sensual affect on her which will ultimately lead to her giving herself to him !! She may or may not realize that at this point but she will as their relationship grows.

It will be very interesting to hear about her phone records the nights that she is not texting him as I believe, as you, that she is talking to him at night and is getting more emotionally involved ... Which again is good news for your quest to see them get closer to making love.

I hope you have time to reply to me before you go away and again once you return next Wednesday. If she will not see him until after you get back I am sure she wil be spending time texting and/or talking to him on the phone... And will be excited to return and see him again. You will notice her mood changes and excitement each time she talks to him so your update when you get back should be interesting !!

I am looking forward to your posts.

Brad

[co-husband]

Hi Brad...yes I too wanted to test your theory, so on Friday when Juli returned from her lunch date with Brian I purposely refrained from any overt amorous signals and sure enough, that evening Juli was the one who initiated sex. She asked me if I wanted it, and as any husband knows, when the wife asks if he wants to have sex, it means she really wants it..lol

So as we were in the middle of our lovemaking, I looked at her face, she had her eyes closed with that erotic, sensual expression and I wondered just who / what she was thinking about and if we were having a mental 3some with Brian..lol. I just have a feeling that we were.

As for the phone calls. I was able to look at the call log on her phone and she did make a call to Brian on Tuesday night beginning at 11:38PM and it lasted 1 hour 41 minutes. The next day is when Juli was feeling much better about what had been troubling her that week. (It wasn't an issue with Brian or me, it was an unrelated thing, but apparently just talking to Brian helped her).

Juli and I are leaving in Monday and will be home by Wednesday night. I hope to get a chance to talk to her more about Brian while we're gone, so I'll post here what we discuss.

Mark

[malnik]

This is a very interesting thread. Im exhausted and excited reading through it!

Lots of great advice here from a few of the people......really good advice. I think from my small perspective, if you dont make some kind of change, it will just continue as it is for some time. Juli may just be waiting for you to make that tiny change...make those small suggestions, those subliminal messages.

Its not compulsory though, you know the situation better than any of us, and more importantly, you know Juli. However, my own take is that yes, the small signs we see have given me the impression that anything could be possible. With some ladies you can see its no, never. With Juli, her past experiences and you being such a cool guy, it says to me, you should take that step.
The ways bradisalpha suggested are perfect and can be laughed off if Juli baulks at the prospect. He isnt known as "alpha" for nothing!!!!

Take your time Mark......we have plenty of time, we enjoy reading your account, we live it with you.

Mal

[bradisalpha]

Hi Brad...yes I too wanted to test your theory, so on Friday when Juli returned from her lunch date with Brian I purposely refrained from any overt amorous signals and sure enough, that evening Juli was the one who initiated sex. She asked me if I wanted it, and as any husband knows, when the wife asks if he wants to have sex, it means she really wants it..lol

So as we were in the middle of our lovemaking, I looked at her face, she had her eyes closed with that erotic, sensual expression and I wondered just who / what she was thinking about and if we were having a mental 3some with Brian..lol. I just have a feeling that we were.

As for the phone calls. I was able to look at the call log on her phone and she did make a call to Brian on Tuesday night beginning at 11:38PM and it lasted 1 hour 41 minutes. The next day is when Juli was feeling much better about what had been troubling her that week. (It wasn't an issue with Brian or me, it was an unrelated thing, but apparently just talking to Brian helped her).

Juli and I are leaving in Monday and will be home by Wednesday night. I hope to get a chance to talk to her more about Brian while we're gone, so I'll post here what we discuss.

Mark

Mark,

Yes, you both were having a mental threesome with Brian !! It was very HOT, wasn't it ??

It is time to mention that it excites you when she is on a date with Brian. Don't miss the timing.

We are waiting for your update.

Brad

[Frakkmywife]

Hi Brad...yes I too wanted to test your theory, so on Friday when Juli returned from her lunch date with Brian I purposely refrained from any overt amorous signals and sure enough, that evening Juli was the one who initiated sex. She asked me if I wanted it, and as any husband knows, when the wife asks if he wants to have sex, it means she really wants it..lol

So as we were in the middle of our lovemaking, I looked at her face, she had her eyes closed with that erotic, sensual expression and I wondered just who / what she was thinking about and if we were having a mental 3some with Brian..lol. I just have a feeling that we were.

As for the phone calls. I was able to look at the call log on her phone and she did make a call to Brian on Tuesday night beginning at 11:38PM and it lasted 1 hour 41 minutes. The next day is when Juli was feeling much better about what had been troubling her that week. (It wasn't an issue with Brian or me, it was an unrelated thing, but apparently just talking to Brian helped her).

Juli and I are leaving in Monday and will be home by Wednesday night. I hope to get a chance to talk to her more about Brian while we're gone, so I'll post here what we discuss.

Mark

Hey Mark,

Just want to say thanks for sharing your wonderful story with us. Both your threads (here and "my wife Juli" in the Hotties section) have got both my heads captivated and stimulated. I also want to encourage you to continue updating us on your journey. I too can't wait for what I feel is inevitable. It's obvious that Juli is attracted to Brian now. I'm eagerly awaiting Brian getting your wife into bed and consummating their relationship.

"Mental 3some". What an awesome expression. It's a situation I've been in myself. I've seen that look on her face while we 're having sex where I know she's thinking about another man. She's wishing that was him fucking her. At the same time I'm fantasizing I'm another man whose got his cock buried deep in my wife's pussy.

[D+D]

Just my opinion, but I don't think she'll ever do it unless she knows you're on board Mark. Otherwise, she would be cheating. To me, the ball is in your court.

[bradisalpha]

Just my opinion, but I don't think she'll ever do it unless she knows you're on board Mark. Otherwise, she would be cheating. To me, the ball is in your court.

Mark,

Agreed !! She may be cheating already ??!! That is why it is important to begin the discussions as I had suggested... Open it up ... Show her that it turns you on ... That you are okay with it ... That you encourage it ... And how much it excites you. I am afraid that if she does not feel that you are okay with it and that you will still love her and protect her she will go down that exciting path alone ... And that could be detrimental to your relationship. Understand that a woman can fight feelings for just so long and then will give in to them ... Head it off ... He already loves her, and if she is still seeing him while knowing that, then she is enjoying that fact and has feelings also ... Show her your support and go down that exciting path together.

Her sexual response when she got home last Friday and her extended phone and text conversations with Brian should confirm to you her feelings for him. I hope you are using the time alone away this week to open up your feelings.

I am also wondering how much time she is spending texting and on the phone with Brian while you are away ??

This is very exciting, isn't it, Mark ??

I can't wait to hear your updates !!

Brad

[malnik]

Just my opinion, but I don't think she'll ever do it unless she knows you're on board Mark. Otherwise, she would be cheating. To me, the ball is in your court.

Mark,

Agreed !! She may be cheating already ??!! That is why it is important to begin the discussions as I had suggested... Open it up ... Show her that it turns you on ... That you are okay with it ... That you encourage it ... And how much it excites you. I am afraid that if she does not feel that you are okay with it and that you will still love her and protect her she will go down that exciting path alone ... And that could be detrimental to your relationship. Understand that a woman can fight feelings for just so long and then will give in to them ... Head it off ... He already loves her, and if she is still seeing him while knowing that, then she is enjoying that fact and has feelings also ... Show her your support and go down that exciting path together.

Her sexual response when she got home last Friday and her extended phone and text conversations with Brian should confirm to you her feelings for him. I hope you are using the time alone away this week to open up your feelings.

I am also wondering how much time she is spending texting and on the phone with Brian while you are away ??

This is very exciting, isn't it, Mark ??

I can't wait to hear your updates !!

Brad

Yup....they say it so well.

[co-husband]

Juli and I returned from our trip late last night, and I have a lot of new information to report to you here. For the sake of readability I try not to write a long tome here but will give you the basic information of what we talked about, and then can supply more specific details in further posts.

First off on Monday night while Juli was in the shower, I spent time on her phone looking through a thread of text messages between her and Brian that goes back into early November. Most of it was pretty benign "How was your day" type of texts, but ALL of them ended with Brian saying "I love you" and Juli replying with "Love you too". Seeing all of their daily messages made me finally realize that they truly ARE in a relationship at least as boyfriend and girlfriend. It's no longer just Juli helping out a good friend after his divorce.

Then on Tuesday night I had the chance to talk openly to Juli about Brian. I was surprisingly calm about brining up the subject because I started it in a way that Juli and I have often talked about Brian. I just mentioned that I feel sorry for him being alone. And that if I were in his situation I would miss most the companionship of a woman. I said that I knew that he really appreciated her spending time with him. Then seamlessly I said "Would you ever consider letting Brian experience physical intimacy with you"?
So here's the news I wanted to share here with you all....Turns out Brian had already broached the subject with Juli almost 2 months ago and she turned him down. She told me that he didn't come out and ask her for sex, but implied it. He said there was a dinner theater that he and his ex used to go to which is in a larger city about 4 hours from us and he asked Juli if she would like to go with him sometime. It would be an overnight situation. Juli said she told him that it "wouldn't be a good idea".

As a man I know the tactic that Brian used of not coming out and asking for sex outright, so he would avoid direct rejection that way, but Juli said they both knew they were talking about sex. I then told her that I would be ok if she did let Brian experience intimacy with her, and that it would even be a turn on for me. She then said, "Do you really understand what you're asking for? Anytime two people have sex even once, it changes the relationship forever." Before I could continue the discussion, she said "I really don't want to talk about this right now."

That line is one that Juli had used before and it has always been during a topic where she was not yet ready to say "yes". I'll give you two examples...
1. When we were first married, I was curious and asked her if her ex husband was bigger than me. She simply said "I don't want to talk about it". So her non-answer told me that he was bigger. (Later she did confirm that to me when I kept asking).
2. When I was trying to figure out who it was the she and her ex did the MFM 3some with in her first marriage, I finally named a man who we both still know and she gave me the same answer of "I don't want to talk about it right now". Later she confirmed it was Tim, a man we both know and see socially at times.

So her not wanting to continue the discussion about Brian tells me that she will eventually say "yes" to that as well.

OK..so I will end this post and let you read it, and I will probably write more in the next post and give you some of my own thoughts that I've had since Juli and I talked.

Mark

[Frakkmywife]

Hey Mark

Thanks for the update. I'm really excited for you with the progress your making on your journey here. I can't wait for all the details.

[JRE]

I think you've done well to broach the subject gracefully and she responded in a neutral way that leaves the door open for discussion at a more appropriate time. She now knows the possibility isn't taboo with you, and that leaves a lot for her to think about. She also didn't say no to Brian and hinted that she liked the idea, but wasn't comfortable considering it at the time. The goal is in sight, and time for her to weigh the idea appears to be all that's needed.

Congratulations on your progress!

[bradisalpha]

Mark,

You did excellent opening up the subject and she WILL have that on her mind now ... She can't escape it !! Were there more texts or phone calls after you talked to her or since you got home ??

Did you have sex since the "talk" ?? Was she overly wet, sexually charged, and close her eyes in the manner of "having a threesome with Brian" ??

You should be able to read her reactions now ... Pay close attention. I can't wait to hear the "details" !! Your mind must be spinning now .. This is very hot, isn't it ??

Brad

[Wookie]

Am I the only one who Brian sounds like a massive tool to?

He's a free man who is hanging his hat on a married friends wife.

We all know Mark's thoughts but Brian doesn't. He is extremely damaged from a relationship which ended because of infidelity, and he's suggesting infidelity to his friend's wife. While 'bro code' is a machismo term, he and Brian and friends and protocol would dictate that he (Brian) should make every attempt to keep this on the up-and-up, particularly since Mark has been way more than understanding and super accommodating to the relationship he and Juli have formed.

That he hasn't approached him, or even tried to use Juli as a conduit, prior to suggesting taking the relationship to the new level makes me think that he's not an ideal candidate in terms of communication and motives, from transitioning from friend to playmate.

What is clear is that before anything were to happen, both Mark and Juli would need to communicate directly with him (As a couple) and set some firm expectations.

[D+D]

Brian is definitely not a guy to "ride the river with", but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be a good lover for Julie. If Julie and Mark's relationship is strong enough, Brian can never come between them. The good part is, Julie is comfortable with him and he is safe. Mark thanks for the update. Julie will be sexually intimate with Brian soon now that you have opened the door. When it happens, she will probably be Infatuated with him more than she already is. New relationship energy. Be prepared because it's kind of tough for we husbands at first. I was panicked quite frankly. It will subside and she will return to her normal self eventually. At least my wife did. It may not concern you, but just letting you know the possibilities. Frankly, I somewhat envy your situation. I sincerely hope that all goes well, because if it does it will be a great ride. Never let Brian think that Julie is cheating on you. He must know up front that you not only know, but encourage their relationship. He won't understand it , but that doesn't matter. As someone said above, a talk between the three of you would be good so that there is no misunderstanding.

[co-husband]

Thank you all for your comments. I read them all intently, and using this forum is what has gotten me this far with making the decision to talk to Juli on Tuesday. And yes, before anything happens further, Juli and I will sit down with Brian so all of us are on the same page. I know Juli would insist on that anyway.

I also wanted to comment on my own feelings this week. Yes my head is definitely spinning now. On Tuesday night I could hardly fall asleep and even then I kept waking up thru the night with so much on my mind. Juli and I always sleep naked, so as I laid there feeling her soft, smooth feminine skin on mine, I thought of how it will be when/if Brian gets to experience the same thing with her. Up until this week, the idea of my wife being with another man was mostly a fantasy in my mind, but now it is actually a definite possibility! It seems surreal to me in a way. I laid there holding Juli as she slept and wondered if things will change once their friendship is experienced in the total sense of that word. I don't fear losing Juli to him but will I become less indispensable to her sexually? Will there be room for both me and Brian in her desires? Can a woman have equal desire for 2 men at one time? These are questions I'm listing just because they are ones that have run through my mind this week. I don't necessarily expect answers, but mostly wanted to put these out here for you to see how varied my thoughts are now.

I also wondered if it's normal for a husband of a shared wife to have these type of concerns before the first time. Juli is not a woman who can have sex with a man that she doesn't feel some emotional attachment to first (maybe she could when she was younger, but not now). She and Brian obviously have that emotional bond, and every day that I wait to promote this, Juli and Brian get closer emotionally. Also knowing that sex between a man and woman changes the relationship just as Juli said, I wonder what other husbands experience in their relationship with their wife's boyfriend. Does the boyfriend still respect the husband after he(the BF) has had sex with the wife? When Juli and I are around Brian together, he still is very friendly toward me, but he does pretty much ignore me and gives his full attention to Juli. And I'm very ok with that. I would like to hear from some of you about this (your relationship to your wife's boyfriend).

To answer some of the questions posted here this morning. Yes, I thought the same things that each of you mentioned. Brian did not consult me but tested the waters himself to see how Juli would react to his invitation. I'm not surprised that Juli turned him down. She has a good head on her shoulders. And I'm not even surprised that she didn't tell me about that conversation when it happened, but I do wonder why she has kept seeing him each week for their lunch dates. That tells me she may have been telling Brian "not now" more than saying " no never".
Juli and I didn't have sex last night after we got home. We were too tired. But we will tonight. I'm excited and nervous at the same time! Also Brian did text her yesterday to say that he hoped we made it home safely. And signed off with an "I love you". I haven't yet seen if she had replied to that text.
But I definitely have a lot of emotions running through my mind right now. Having it be so real and no longer just a fantasy is what I am trying to deal with now. Is this normal for a husband to feel this way?

Mark