Did sexual incompatibility lead to your open relationship?

[Des 31]

I was wondering how often a relationship opens to other partners because of sexual incompatibility. I don't mean too much or not enough. I mean an actual difference in tastes and interests. For example, one of you prefers a position that the other hates. Maybe one of you likes it in the morning, the other at night. Or perhaps one of you is into a kink that the other just doesn't get.

So you've agreed that the best solution is simply to see other partners with common likes. In addition to providing a degree of satisfaction, this can also reduce the tension from unfulfilled desires at home.

I'm sure that's the situation with some. In our marriage, my wife and I had begun to find the sex stale after being married for a while. I began encouraging her to date other men, but she was reluctant and suspected it was a trick to have her allow me sex with another woman. That wasn't my intention, and she ultimately came to realize that. She was then 28 (now 36) when she and a coworker had an affair. Knowing I approved, she first hooked up with him without telling me. Since then, she has had several boyfriends and one-nighters with others. For the reason she doesn't want me to have sex with other women, I either stay at home whenever she is away for a night or sleep in our guest room when one of her guys is fucking her in our marital bed.

The reasons are different for each couple, and I can understand sexual incompatibility being one of the motivations for a wife to seek others for sexual satisfaction.

~ Des

[Des 31]

I had responded to this question earlier, but my wife has another explanation as to why sharing her is important. She reminded me of this last night. While she is pro-marriage and happy within her marriage, what eventually comes about is the feeling that the romance ultimately declines in marriage. When newer guys, or at least other guys, are fucking her, the romance a woman experienced when single is renewed.

That makes sense to me. I think men are more interested in just the sex. Most of the men who have dated my wife are in it for the sex, and most of those prefer married women to single women. Women like my wife aren't looking for a second husband, just for the excitation offered by extramarital relationships. My wife says that, for her, it doesn't get any better than this.