Wondering…

[Swedish couple]

Hi! I am wondering if the poly lifestyle might be something for me. I dont think I am able to separate sex and love…

[SensualDeviant]

Where are you located? There are polyamory groups in most major US cities that are easy enough to find using an online search engine. Meetup.com is also a good website. Most have casual get togethers at bars or restaurants for discussion, called Munches. This is a good way to meet friends and potential lovers and to learn more about the poly lifestyle.

[Farmgirl]

Hi! I am wondering if the poly lifestyle might be something for me. I dont think I am able to separate sex and love…

Could be. While I can separate sex and love, sex for me isn't enjoyable without love.

[jw_kk]

We have evolved into a sort of hybrid poly / hot wife thing. KK used to feel shame, and guilt about being romantically involved with someone who was "supposed to be" just a sex partner. The current situation involves three live-in boyfriends, Andy, David, and Paul. KK is both romantically, and sexually involved with Andy and David - she is in love with them. Paul is just a part-time live-in fuck buddy, a boy-toy, who can bring friends into the situation for extra-hot fucking.

KK's been able to reconcile that it is both OK with her own inner-self, and that I'm OK that she shares romantic, feelings of limerence - love - with Andy and David. It adds another dimension to the sex.

[Swedish couple]

Hi! I am wondering if the poly lifestyle might be something for me. I dont think I am able to separate sex and love…

Could be. While I can separate sex and love, sex for me isn't enjoyable without love.

Exactly the way I feel…

[Lookingforadventure]

Hi! I am wondering if the poly lifestyle might be something for me. I dont think I am able to separate sex and love…

Could be. While I can separate sex and love, sex for me isn't enjoyable without love.

Exactly the way I feel…

Ditto!

[Swedish couple]

But how do you get it to work? I mean with two men you love?

[jw_kk]

It's complicated to say the least.

In our case, KK and I are very much in love, and in lust with one another. Similarly, she is both in love, and in lust for Andy and David. The inverse is true for both men; consider that they left, and divorced their wife to have this kind of intense relationship with KK.

Paul is the outlier - a nice bisexual fuck buddy, with young friends, for us all to share.

It is a subjective thing, speaking for myself, to watch them from somewhat of a distance, a voyeur - with Andy or David, many times the experience is making love, as opposed to just sex - fucking. With Paul (and sometimes friends), it's just fucking (often for everybody).

This is definitely not easy, it takes being open-minded, empathetic, caring, and learning acceptance. I think it is amazingly sensual and erotic that at least two men I know are in love with my wife, and she them.

[SensualDeviant]

Hi! I am wondering if the poly lifestyle might be something for me. I dont think I am able to separate sex and love…

Could be. While I can separate sex and love, sex for me isn't enjoyable without love.

As both a polyamorist and a swinger, I don't need love to enjoy sex, but there must be at least an attractive connection. That potentially could happen quickly with the right women. Generally, the deeper and stronger the connection, the better the sex.

[SensualDeviant]

It's complicated to say the least.

In our case, KK and I are very much in love, and in lust with one another. Similarly, she is both in love, and in lust for Andy and David. The inverse is true for both men; consider that they left, and divorced their wife to have this kind of intense relationship with KK.

Paul is the outlier - a nice bisexual fuck buddy, with young friends, for us all to share.

It is a subjective thing, speaking for myself, to watch them from somewhat of a distance, a voyeur - with Andy or David, many times the experience is making love, as opposed to just sex - fucking. With Paul (and sometimes friends), it's just fucking (often for everybody).

This is definitely not easy, it takes being open-minded, empathetic, caring, and learning acceptance. I think it is amazingly sensual and erotic that at least two men I know are in love with my wife, and she them.

Interesting relationship dynamics. The bi-male stuff is a huge turn off, though.

[kaskap79]

I will say that I need a connection with the Lady I am with, if there is no connection, it is not good.

The feeling I have with the Ladies I see is a loving feeling. Not love. More like the love you have for a very good friend.

If you can get to this point, you do relax much more and enjoy the sex and time after even more than you do with your spouse. Because there are no daily life problems any of you are thinking of.

I do see a Lady for a four-day meeting while her husband is visiting another Lady. We all know each other and are all very relaxed and recharged when we go back to daily life.

Real love can be dangerous to your relationship with your spouse.

[CaliLondon]

My wife and her primary sex partner of the last year+ are very fond of each other but I wouldn't say they're in love with each other. I don't see how a couple can have sex with each other on a regular basis and not develop some feelings. With Neil, he seems to do things to not encourage the love phase. For example, he never spends the night, never brings flowers or a gift, etc.

[sudhir2701]

I would say that a connection is necessary for good sex. It could be basic friendship and care. The idea is not a replacement of the husband or marriage but a bit different. You need a bit of friendship and trust especially when you are trying something new.

[mychubbyhotwife]

Great sex causes great emotions. Do you love each other or do you love having sex with each other? Love is more than sex. IMO.

[Mgcouplemn]

Our /my turning point was trust and open communication I love my wife and she loves me, more important is that we trust each other and always are not hesitant to say what is on our minds, we trust each other that that happens. If we are out and she meets a guy she would like to fuck she tells me, I sometime just tell her something like " I'm in the mood to jerk off watching you being fucked, what about that guy?". We believe in us as a couple, we aren't having sex with others to fall in love, we already are with each other. We do have sex with others for the excitement and our fun. Our own sex life is never boring and our relationship is very good.