It’s been proven difficult to find a good sex partner, the last couple times we’ve been out to play. Wife and I stay away from the bigger dating platforms due to being scared of posting our pictures, with that said we use double as our go to place to look for the next play partner but things have yet to go our way. We all know how much this can affect a woman’s perspective on the situation, now I have to convince her she’s not the problem. Good thing is she’s still willing to see this out we have a play date next week and we both really hope this goes our way…… wish us luck!
A little background to us, when we started our journey she would go out to clubs and meet partners during a night out. That worked for a little while we then moved on to a good friend who went through a divorce, we had the conversation it took a couple get together before they started having sex. After a while I noticed things start to change so before our friendship or mirage went bad we pulled the plug, he’s now in a good relationship and we’re all still good friends. She then decides to try the coworker idea, we think this single guy will work. Only to have her disappointed after their first time having sex and she said no thanks to him. We went a while with no play she wasn’t always convinced on just meeting new guys for sex without getting to know them, when she did come around to the idea, we had several no shows thanks to Craigslist. We then took a pause for a while. I got a new gig and had to travel for work, spending time away helped bring that flame back on, which brings us to double list and our last two disappointments LOL! Wife made it clear she wants no part in the vetting process of individuals, she trust me with finding the right guy for the night. So I began the first search, I talk to a guy maybe two weeks before we set up a meet. I get a room me and the wife get their early as usual, she has a few drinks and as time get close to meet up she freshens up. Boy did she surprise me when she walks out the bathroom in a red lingerie outfit, knock on the door happens I greet the gentleman introduce him to my wife she’s now sitting on the bed having a drink. We make small talk have a couple drinks at some point wife stands up to use the restroom and man the look on his face was priceless, she comes back soon after the foreplay kicks off. He’s doing and did a great job getting the wife hot,wet, and horny. As he slips the rubber on boom hard on gone immediately, he spent the next half hour trying to get it back to no luck. We kindly ask him to leave, we then proceed to have a great night filled with lots of sex. Couple months go by we decide to go at it again, same situation I spend the next couple days talking texting planning the date. The day comes the gentleman shows up same story wife in sexy lingerie, his eyes about pop out when she gets up small talk and the playing begins. Only this time this individual would blow his load as he was going down on the wife, he asked to get some fresh air excused himself from the room like he would be back. This individual blocks my number and leaves without saying anything, it’s now been a couple months and wife has agreed to give it another go… This coming Thursday we have a meet up scheduled I really hope this goes well for us we are long over due LOL! Sorry for the long short story telling this is my first big post.
Hope all goes well….
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SilverStag
- OHW Addict
- Posts: 2273
- Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:07 pm
Re: Hope all goes well….
I sympathize with your frustration. No matter where or how you find guys, there always exists the guys with "issues". There is a lot of "sorting" in this hobby.
Allow me to offer some suggestions that may help;
First, don't play on the first meeting. You set yourselves up for disappointment. If a guy is worth seeing and he is earnest in his desire to make it work, he will agree to a no sex first meeting with the 2 of you. If he isn't willing to get to know you two a bit, he probably isn't worth your time. This is also an opportune time to discuss your rules and expectations (as well as his) so there are no surprises when it is time to be naked. Know before you go, what you want to experience. Some only want an anonymous fuck, others, like my Cecil, want a dating relationship with the guy, not a one and done thing. Have a clear idea of what your ideal play will look like and communicate that to the guy.
Next, as long as you are familiar with the online "dating", use a sex site (like SLS or AFF or, the best one: Kasidie -where the guy has to pay to be on the site, so the lookie-loos are eliminated). Look for guys who have certifications/recommendations etc. from other couples and single women. That gives you an idea of his character and abilities. As far as posting pics on the sites, you can block out identifying elements, and don't forget to clean off the meta data that is encoded into the original pic (see details on this forum about how to do that). Profiles with pics get a lot more hits than without. Be wary if his profile only has dick pics That usually means he has nothing else to offer.
Next, understand that a lot of these guys are trying this because in their heads it sounds hot, but when they are in the room and the time is here, they really aren't prepared for the reality of the situation (the "no shows" usually fall into this category). Particularly the idea of being naked in a room with another guy. Lots of guys can't get or stay erect when around another guy (homophobic issues) in spite of being next to your sexy woman. They are then embarrassed, and how they act then can range from shyness to anger and trust me you don't want to have to deal with an angry naked man locked in a room with you and your lady. This tends to land hard upon the lady, as she may feel he isn't erect because she isn't hot enough or didn't do the right things, etc. That's bad for your continuing in this hobby.
Consider looking for a married man who has a verifiable hall pass from his wife. Doing so gives you a better chance of his having experience and helps eliminate the "feelings" issues that also haunt newbies to this adventure.
I hope this helps you in your journey
Allow me to offer some suggestions that may help;
First, don't play on the first meeting. You set yourselves up for disappointment. If a guy is worth seeing and he is earnest in his desire to make it work, he will agree to a no sex first meeting with the 2 of you. If he isn't willing to get to know you two a bit, he probably isn't worth your time. This is also an opportune time to discuss your rules and expectations (as well as his) so there are no surprises when it is time to be naked. Know before you go, what you want to experience. Some only want an anonymous fuck, others, like my Cecil, want a dating relationship with the guy, not a one and done thing. Have a clear idea of what your ideal play will look like and communicate that to the guy.
Next, as long as you are familiar with the online "dating", use a sex site (like SLS or AFF or, the best one: Kasidie -where the guy has to pay to be on the site, so the lookie-loos are eliminated). Look for guys who have certifications/recommendations etc. from other couples and single women. That gives you an idea of his character and abilities. As far as posting pics on the sites, you can block out identifying elements, and don't forget to clean off the meta data that is encoded into the original pic (see details on this forum about how to do that). Profiles with pics get a lot more hits than without. Be wary if his profile only has dick pics That usually means he has nothing else to offer.
Next, understand that a lot of these guys are trying this because in their heads it sounds hot, but when they are in the room and the time is here, they really aren't prepared for the reality of the situation (the "no shows" usually fall into this category). Particularly the idea of being naked in a room with another guy. Lots of guys can't get or stay erect when around another guy (homophobic issues) in spite of being next to your sexy woman. They are then embarrassed, and how they act then can range from shyness to anger and trust me you don't want to have to deal with an angry naked man locked in a room with you and your lady. This tends to land hard upon the lady, as she may feel he isn't erect because she isn't hot enough or didn't do the right things, etc. That's bad for your continuing in this hobby.
Consider looking for a married man who has a verifiable hall pass from his wife. Doing so gives you a better chance of his having experience and helps eliminate the "feelings" issues that also haunt newbies to this adventure.
I hope this helps you in your journey
Re: Hope all goes well….
Super reply....you nailed it!!!! I strongly second your suggestionsSilverStag wrote: ↑Sun Aug 13, 2023 2:32 pmI sympathize with your frustration. No matter where or how you find guys, there always exists the guys with "issues". There is a lot of "sorting" in this hobby.
Allow me to offer some suggestions that may help;
First, don't play on the first meeting. You set yourselves up for disappointment. If a guy is worth seeing and he is earnest in his desire to make it work, he will agree to a no sex first meeting with the 2 of you. If he isn't willing to get to know you two a bit, he probably isn't worth your time. This is also an opportune time to discuss your rules and expectations (as well as his) so there are no surprises when it is time to be naked. Know before you go, what you want to experience. Some only want an anonymous fuck, others, like my Cecil, want a dating relationship with the guy, not a one and done thing. Have a clear idea of what your ideal play will look like and communicate that to the guy.
Next, as long as you are familiar with the online "dating", use a sex site (like SLS or AFF or, the best one: Kasidie -where the guy has to pay to be on the site, so the lookie-loos are eliminated). Look for guys who have certifications/recommendations etc. from other couples and single women. That gives you an idea of his character and abilities. As far as posting pics on the sites, you can block out identifying elements, and don't forget to clean off the meta data that is encoded into the original pic (see details on this forum about how to do that). Profiles with pics get a lot more hits than without. Be wary if his profile only has dick pics That usually means he has nothing else to offer.
Next, understand that a lot of these guys are trying this because in their heads it sounds hot, but when they are in the room and the time is here, they really aren't prepared for the reality of the situation (the "no shows" usually fall into this category). Particularly the idea of being naked in a room with another guy. Lots of guys can't get or stay erect when around another guy (homophobic issues) in spite of being next to your sexy woman. They are then embarrassed, and how they act then can range from shyness to anger and trust me you don't want to have to deal with an angry naked man locked in a room with you and your lady. This tends to land hard upon the lady, as she may feel he isn't erect because she isn't hot enough or didn't do the right things, etc. That's bad for your continuing in this hobby.
Consider looking for a married man who has a verifiable hall pass from his wife. Doing so gives you a better chance of his having experience and helps eliminate the "feelings" issues that also haunt newbies to this adventure.
I hope this helps you in your journey