Cuckold stereotypes

[Mundaka2]

Next weekend is the big weekend my wife’s boyfriend is coming to stay with us. But I’m having trouble trying to establish a rapport with this guy. I don’t necessarily need to be best friends with her lovers but i feel like it would be a benefit.

The trouble is he keeps trying to dominate me, like he thinks he’s going dominate both my wife and me. Unfortunately he’s mistaken. I find his actions disrespectful and inappropriate. In my opinion a little appreciation for what I’ve given him would go a long way.

I’ve told him numerous times but he’s not getting it. I think his perception is warped by stupid cuckold stereotypes and media. Why do these guys think every cuckold wants to suck dick and eat their cum. He couldn’t be more wrong. He’s more likely to get my foot up his ass!

Now my wife is concerned. I’ve asked her to talk to him since he’s not listening to me.

[Johnann2227]

He needs to be kicked to the curb and move on. Any of my wife's lovers or boyfriends are additional fun for OUR marriage. It may sound selfish but they are toys for us to enjoy (and they benefit greatly being able to fuck my wife). Any that disrespects my wife, myself or our marriage is gone. We both agree on that.

[Gulfcpl]

He needs to be kicked to the curb and move on. Any of my wife's lovers or boyfriends are additional fun for OUR marriage. It may sound selfish but they are toys for us to enjoy (and they benefit greatly being able to fuck my wife). Any that disrespects my wife, myself or our marriage is gone. We both agree on that.

I totally agree with this. I don’t understand why he’s being invited anymore at all with his refusal to respect both of you and your marriage. If you allow it or even invite him back into your home, it’s on you. It’s that simple.

[michael8401]

I agree with you. Some guys have zero emotional intelligence to read a room. It’s always so bizarre when I see this.

[veub]

Next weekend is the big weekend my wife’s boyfriend is coming to stay with us. But I’m having trouble trying to establish a rapport with this guy. I don’t necessarily need to be best friends with her lovers but i feel like it would be a benefit.

The trouble is he keeps trying to dominate me, like he thinks he’s going dominate both my wife and me. Unfortunately he’s mistaken. I find his actions disrespectful and inappropriate. In my opinion a little appreciation for what I’ve given him would go a long way.

I’ve told him numerous times but he’s not getting it. I think his perception is warped by stupid cuckold stereotypes and media. Why do these guys think every cuckold wants to suck dick and eat their cum. He couldn’t be more wrong. He’s more likely to get my foot up his ass!

Now my wife is concerned. I’ve asked her to talk to him since he’s not listening to me.

You haven't "given" him anything. In the final analysis, your wife makes/made the choice to hook-up with him.
What did your wife say in response to your request? If she did speak with him about this what was the result?

[SilverStag]

My HW, Cecil, and I have an agreement that in return for allowing each other to play solo, and in keeping our relationship primary, we each hold a "no questions asked" veto over the other's playmates. At any time, for any reason (and your case is an obvious one) either of us can say no more contact with that person.

You might consider renegotiating your agreement to include a similar clause.

[Breakerhymen]

The question in my mind is why is your wife tolerating his disrespect of her husband…….

[Farmgirl]

The question in my mind is why is your wife tolerating his disrespect of her husband…….

Yeah, that would be cause for sending him 'to town'.

[Kali7790]

Been in this ethical non-monogamous playground for many years and many forms. I found displaying respectful dominance is best for your situation. Right before things get heated call your wife away from her boyfriend. "Babe real quick I need to say something privately". Another good one is while she is entertaining him, simply walk up grab her attention and emotionally kiss her. Also, if he asks you to grab a drink for him or something similar respond with something passive aggressive. Be nice but simply don't let him dominate you and show him he is actually second to you. Something like "how long have you been fucking my wife and you dont know where the fridge is"? He is the third wheel. NOT YOU.

[nnjcpl2002]

I understand the issue of stereotyping and of course we're all a bit different. But apparently there are cucks who enjoy a sub role and being dominated by either HW and or her bull. I'm sort of in-between. I want her bull to take charge. He can give me requests or directions, but in a considerate manner. I am willing to cooperate.

After the sex, we are friends and equals, but he runs the show sexually. He knows what I want, so in a way I'm topping from the bottom! LOL

[Shadnaster]

Time to find another guy in my opinion. There are a lot of very respectful guys out there. They need to understand that they are a supplement to YOUR relationship. Even if you want to be dominated, that should come from you or your wife, NOT the third party in your relationship (Unless that's exactly what both of YOU want).

One of the rules that my wife and I have is that any new guy has to meet with BOTH of us for a drink once with no expectation of sex. You'd be surprised at how many guys this eliminates.

This is all just my opinion though.

[Blackjack4724]

Our relationship is such that if any guy shows the least bit of disrespect to either of us, he is gone immediately. There have been a few times in the time we’ve been married and hotwifing that the guy she’s fucking gets this cocky attitude and has said something inappropriate. My wife turns on the guy like a rattlesnake.
I remember once I was sitting in a chair in a hotel room watching this guy fuck Tammy. He looked at me and called me a little bitch. Tammy, spun around pulling his dick out of her, slapped him across the face and said get the fuck out before I could even stand up.
I then stood up and said who’s the little bitch now. Get the fuck out or we are gonna have a real problem.
My point is that you and your wife have to establish a set of rules that are unbendable and you both have to stick to them. You guys clearly haven’t done that or he would have been gone already.
There is no room for disrespect or breaking any of your play rules. I suggest you both take one step back, establish those rules and then implement them.
Then once you’ve done that, move forward and as others have said, kick this guy to the curb and move on.

[54321]

Our relationship is such that if any guy shows the least bit of disrespect to either of us, he is gone immediately. There have been a few times in the time we’ve been married and hotwifing that the guy she’s fucking gets this cocky attitude and has said something inappropriate. My wife turns on the guy like a rattlesnake.
I remember once I was sitting in a chair in a hotel room watching this guy fuck Tammy. He looked at me and called me a little bitch. Tammy, spun around pulling his dick out of her, slapped him across the face and said get the fuck out before I could even stand up.
I then stood up and said who’s the little bitch now. Get the fuck out or we are gonna have a real problem.
My point is that you and your wife have to establish a set of rules that are unbendable and you both have to stick to them. You guys clearly haven’t done that or he would have been gone already.
There is no room for disrespect or breaking any of your play rules. I suggest you both take one step back, establish those rules and then implement them.
Then once you’ve done that, move forward and as others have said, kick this guy to the curb and move on.

Amen!

54321

[Bluetoed]

His behavior should not be tolerated, but at the same time I can understand where his behavior is coming from. It comes from how unwilling so many people in this lifestyle are to recognize just how completely different men can be in the "wife sharing" fetish.

There are men that are turned on by their wife having sex with another man. It is a voyeur kink. And there are other men that actually aren't turned on by voyeurism, but are instead turned on by humiliation. Their wife having sex with another man is just one method of many methods that humiliates them and turns them on. It is a humiliation kink.

The unfortunate result is that because everyone focuses on both types of men being turned on by the wife having sex with another man, they are all grouped together and called cuckolds. But in the minds of these men, they have absolutely nothing in common with each other. They are completely different kinks that share a common result.

You can tell how different they are by one being tied down and in agony while watching the wife have sex while the other is cheering her on and getting as many good angles as he can to enjoy the show. Are both being turned on? Yes... but for completely different reasons.

The problem is that both men are being categorized by the end result (being turned on by their wife having sex with someone else), instead of being categorized by what actually is going on in their mind that turns them on. Some will say it's just different aspects of the same kink. But again, this suggests they start with the same mindset and just pursue different flavors. But they aren't staring with the same mindset at all. One has a voyeur kink and the other has a humiliation kink.

Again, this does not justify his behavior. I cannot stress that enough. But guys like this would be a lot less common if people would stop calling every man who likes his wife to have sex with another man the same word (cuckold). Good bulls know they need to learn what the kink is before engaging.

[canadianwittol]

One of the things my wife and I like to laugh about the most is just how well from an outsider's view looking in that we do fit the stereotype. We live in the urban centre of a very liberal West coast city; I'm an academic, wife drives a Tesla and indeed I am an actual, literal panty-wearing cuckold.

That being said, our bulls are respectful and even the one we have who enjoys humiliation plays according to our pre-negotiated agreements. Everyone is happy, which is what's different from your situation. If it's not working for you I'd pull the plug.

[leo-cpl]

Next weekend is the big weekend my wife’s boyfriend is coming to stay with us. But I’m having trouble trying to establish a rapport with this guy. I don’t necessarily need to be best friends with her lovers but i feel like it would be a benefit.

The trouble is he keeps trying to dominate me, like he thinks he’s going dominate both my wife and me. Unfortunately he’s mistaken. I find his actions disrespectful and inappropriate. In my opinion a little appreciation for what I’ve given him would go a long way.

I’ve told him numerous times but he’s not getting it. I think his perception is warped by stupid cuckold stereotypes and media. Why do these guys think every cuckold wants to suck dick and eat their cum. He couldn’t be more wrong. He’s more likely to get my foot up his ass!

Now my wife is concerned. I’ve asked her to talk to him since he’s not listening to me.

Since you haven't updated us don't really know what happened. I too feel there's a that a some FWB/bulls? or what you wanna call em dont get the concept of a stag. It is imp that the guy understands his role and also what is needed for things to work long term in everyone's interest. That being said its clear to us that the guy needs to be respectful, discreet, hygienic amongst other things. I am kinda surprised to agreed to invite this guys home and even stay with you guys. For us only guys we are comfortable with and trust know our personal details and invite to play at our house.

Hope things worked out for the best. Do update us. Good luck

[Mundaka2]

Hi,

Thanks for the message. I appreciate the feedback. Here’s an update

It’s been a real journey, mostly good and we’re finding an equilibrium that works best for everyone. They’ve arranged a hotel for tonight and I expect they’ll spend night together and I’ll see her in the morning. Nothing is more lovely than watching my wife in anticipation for a good fucking. Im keeping my distance and haven’t had any communication with him for a while.

As far as her boyfriend goes, we both want what’s best for my wife and this seems to be it. I think he means well, but it’s a real thing for him to feel dominant and be the alpha. It’s not exactly what I want so for now I’m keeping my distance and letting my wife have her relationship just between them. They’re also keeping their hookups remote too. It’s probably a good thing. It seems to work best and creates less drama. Hopefully in time we’ll get back together on the same page but we’ll see. We’re just enjoying what we have for now.

What’s important is my wife is happy and finally getting the sex she needs from a guy with a bigger cock. He’s good to her too.

[Mundaka2]

Morning update:
She’s home, sleepy, sore and swollen but very happy. There’s nothing more attractive than a woman after being fucked hard all night long by her boyfriend. Her mind is still in that euphoric glow, her body full of his cum. She’s his slut. I can tell the memory and sensations are still fresh in her mind.

[Steelblue]

Delightful. Now, reclaiming her will be such fun. Remember to be firm.

[stonemtncouple]

Morning update:
She’s home, sleepy, sore and swollen but very happy. There’s nothing more attractive than a woman after being fucked hard all night long by her boyfriend. Her mind is still in that euphoric glow, her body full of his cum. She’s his slut. I can tell the memory and sensations are still fresh in her mind.

Fantastic! Love that look! Like you described “glow of euphoric satisfaction”. so very sexy!
Thanks for sharing

[Wifesharing]

It is strange we have met up with about 100 men and I have never had a single one even hint at bi or gay sex or me sucking is cock. I nor my wife are into that but I don't think we ever had to even say it the guys she has met have all been great and non have been disrespectful. We have had plenty in the screening process that were clear no way.

I would cut him off if they get the wrong impression and you tell them maybe , but if they push then they just don't respect you enough. For my wife a guy wanting me to suck his cock would be enough for her to cut him off or him even suggesting he would like that she just is not into it at all, she like and wants Straight men that are focused on her.

[mychubbyhotwife]

I think his perception is warped by stupid cuckold stereotypes and media. Why do these guys think every cuckold wants to suck dick and eat their cum. He couldn’t be more wrong.

That's me too. It sounds like he is an asshole and you and your wife should stay far away from him. If she can't resist having sex with him I foresee a not very pleasant confrontation.