Advice

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Ampclamp
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Advice

Unread post by Ampclamp » Fri Dec 27, 2024 5:50 am

My girl knows about my fantasies. She plays along. How can I steer her towards actually doing it? What did you guys do in your experience? I don’t want to be pushy.

Tank Turner
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Re: Advice

Unread post by Tank Turner » Fri Dec 27, 2024 7:14 am

Hi Ampclamp,

Is your wife receptive of your fantasies? Does she react positively when you discuss them with her? Has she told you about her sexual fantasies?

Ampclamp
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Re: Advice

Unread post by Ampclamp » Fri Dec 27, 2024 8:02 am

Hey Tank,

Yes she was receptive. Whenever we discuss them she gets really shy. She just laughs it off and says “i dunno what to say! Haha”

I have talked about her sexual fantasies with her. She’s very vanilla haha

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Ledudas1
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Re: Advice

Unread post by Ledudas1 » Fri Dec 27, 2024 10:35 am

To echo Tank, what has been her reaction when you bring up making it real? Regardless, you have to take Baby Steps. Build up her confidence and reassure her this isn't about you wanting other women or wanting her to cheat so you can dump her. We tried the go to a bar separately and let her flirt a bit and get hit on. Small steps lead to huge leaps!
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SensualDeviant
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Re: Advice

Unread post by SensualDeviant » Fri Dec 27, 2024 4:39 pm

You could watch MFM or hotwife porn with her, or during pillow talk discuss an ex-boyfriend of hers or someone she's attracted to at work.

Wifewithothers
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Re: Advice

Unread post by Wifewithothers » Sat Dec 28, 2024 5:47 pm

What I would suggest is getting her in touch with her fantasies, get her comfortable sharing her fantasies without getting pressure to live then out of twisting her fantasy to yours

Also, lots of great sex and great imtamscy I The more she feels desired by you, the more confident she will be about her sexuality

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zorro
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Re: Advice

Unread post by zorro » Sat Dec 28, 2024 6:09 pm

You can also just ask her outright, "Would you like to have an extra guy join in our love making?" Even if she doesn't answer, she will continue to run that question over and over again through her mind. It's called "planting the seed." And after a while, it just make take hold and blossom. It is built in the DNA that women are born biologically to have sex with many men (even at one time), so the challenge in large part is to help her overcome negative social conditioning. If she can be honest with herself, she may discover late in night in the privacy of the dark that she wants to.

That question may get around the go-nowhere question of "Tell me your fantasies," which many women answer by saying they have no fantasies. For some, a fantasy is by definition a theme that can never come true.
Sharing your partner is a very loving act. Double her pleasure; double your fun.
Kevin Foster, The Three Marriage Enigmas: ". . . sex with a man other than her husband is simply the most erotic sex possible for a woman."

Saras_Stag
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Re: Advice

Unread post by Saras_Stag » Mon Dec 30, 2024 2:58 am

In our case once we started talking about the possibility Sara was very intrigued but also maintained it would never happen. I told her it was up to her if it would or not, it’s so important to ensure it’s her decision as the HW. Giving her the freedom to explore the fantasy on her terms is what (I think) led to her getting comfortable with the idea.

What I did was give her the option along the way to take baby steps if she so chose - recently offered to set up another phone to ensure privacy and separation from her other phone in case she would ever want to make a profile on an app etc. Once she said she would like that I made it happen.

Basically, as I’ve told Sara, I’m more than happy to open the door for her, but it’s always up to her to step through. Empowering her is the point after all :)

Ampclamp
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Re: Advice

Unread post by Ampclamp » Mon Dec 30, 2024 3:46 pm

Thx everyone for the advice.

What would you guys do in the event she completely says no? Not saying that’s the case but she seems very hesitant to actually do it. Again, I’m not pressuring her too much but I have the feeling she won’t actually pull the trigger and “cheat” on me.

cuckhus715
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Re: Advice

Unread post by cuckhus715 » Tue Dec 31, 2024 5:11 am

I would hang out with a friend of yours that you trust that she is attracted to. She how their chemistry is and if you know she is someone he finds attractive. For us we were in that situation, and it happened naturally. Had a few threesomes with him and it grew from there.

Victor Skyhawk
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Re: Advice

Unread post by Victor Skyhawk » Fri Jan 03, 2025 2:21 pm

Ampclamp wrote:
Mon Dec 30, 2024 3:46 pm
Thx everyone for the advice.

What would you guys do in the event she completely says no? Not saying that’s the case but she seems very hesitant to actually do it. Again, I’m not pressuring her too much but I have the feeling she won’t actually pull the trigger and “cheat” on me.
If it’s a solid “no”. I would probably drop it for a bit. Keep building her confidence and reassure the security in your twos relationship. She is now aware of your fantasies. Hurting my feelings was my wife biggest obstacle. I kept reassuring her that this was my fantasy. And she would get to reap the benefits without guilt. These feelings have subsided for her. And is now very interested in a Hotwife experience. We’re just working on the logistics to make it happen.
Good luck!

matthewscott77
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Re: Advice

Unread post by matthewscott77 » Fri Jan 17, 2025 5:56 am

Ampclamp wrote:
Mon Dec 30, 2024 3:46 pm
Thx everyone for the advice.

What would you guys do in the event she completely says no? Not saying that’s the case but she seems very hesitant to actually do it. Again, I’m not pressuring her too much but I have the feeling she won’t actually pull the trigger and “cheat” on me.
Yeah, definitely don’t pressure her and if it becomes a hard no, then there’s not much you can do. She might have specific hesitations that you can ask her about. For my vixen it was the idea that I would think it was cheating and then I would resent her. Once she told me that, we were able to find a path forward to remove that hesitation.

Restarting
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Re: Advice

Unread post by Restarting » Fri Jan 17, 2025 7:59 am

Hey Amp, just spit-ballin' here.

Does she like massages? Especially if you have a friend to help (but not required), maybe try asking her how massages make her feel. Then ask her, "what if it were a 4-handed massage?" Let that simmer for a bit. Then ask her if you could find a way to make that happen, would she ever want you to do it?

Baby steps. :twisted:
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JayDuke
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Re: Advice

Unread post by JayDuke » Sun Jan 19, 2025 4:20 pm

Our intro to this was exposing her to truckers at night as we drove. Her naked under a blanket, I pull the blanket away when the time was right. One time I pulled the blanket away after we left a toll booth at a tunnel - she wasn’t aware there was a truck to our right and that the tunnel lighting was bright with white tiles. It was a glorious two minutes, as we glided through with her on full display. Legs slightly apart, nipples hard. Her face turned away, but exposed to his gaze. Several sessions like this then began cam sessions…

JayDuke
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Re: Advice

Unread post by JayDuke » Sun Jan 19, 2025 4:20 pm

Our intro to this was exposing her to truckers at night as we drove. Her naked under a blanket, I pull the blanket away when the time was right. One time I pulled the blanket away after we left a toll booth at a tunnel - she wasn’t aware there was a truck to our right and that the tunnel lighting was bright with white tiles. It was a glorious two minutes, as we glided through with her on full display. Legs slightly apart, nipples hard. Her face turned away, but exposed to his gaze. Several sessions like this then began cam sessions…

Ampclamp
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Re: Advice

Unread post by Ampclamp » Wed Jan 22, 2025 3:24 am

Well, here’s an update.

I went through her phone because she was acting weird.

She’s been texting this guy Matt. Having small talk. If I ask her about it I’m sure she’ll say “he’s just a friend.”

What sucks is that she hasn’t told me about it.

Is this a good sign?

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leggysman
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Re: Advice

Unread post by leggysman » Wed Jan 22, 2025 3:41 pm

You thinking she's acting weird, the two of you not talking about it, you snooping in her phone, you finding something that you presume is meaningful ...

None of these are signs of anything good, my friend.
our hotwife story: viewtopic.php?f=5&t=67232
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zorro
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Re: Advice

Unread post by zorro » Sat Feb 08, 2025 6:48 pm

Have you considered telling her you are disappointed Matt is not more than a friend and that you wish he would be more. Then ask her if she would ever want to have him join in our love life. And be sure to let her know how not telling you left you feeling. You are in a tough spot because you have now violated her privacy and consequently think she is betraying you (and maybe she is and more likely isn't). Make clear that the most important value to you is honesty, and you hope she keeps you informed if she does want more. You may have to apologize for looking in her phone without prior discussion, so you better have a good explanation. You essentially said, "I don't trust you." And maybe you don't. But it will now be harder for her to trust you.

The long term low level of communication has left you in a shaky place, but perhaps it is not too late to create good ground rules for communication and candor. Maybe a good couples counselor can help you two communicate better. Good counselors neither discourage nor encourage lifestyle: They encourage goiod communication in a progressively happier marriage.
Sharing your partner is a very loving act. Double her pleasure; double your fun.
Kevin Foster, The Three Marriage Enigmas: ". . . sex with a man other than her husband is simply the most erotic sex possible for a woman."

MartasBoy
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Re: Advice

Unread post by MartasBoy » Sat Feb 08, 2025 10:09 pm

Ampclamp wrote:
Fri Dec 27, 2024 5:50 am
My girl knows about my fantasies. She plays along. How can I steer her towards actually doing it? What did you guys do in your experience? I don’t want to be pushy.
I started telling her how beautiful and sexy she was. And how lucky I felt to be married to someone like her she would put it off and say that I was just being nice and I told her that it wasn't just me, I constantly caught guys checking her out.

She didn't believe me, so whenever she went to the lady's room in a bar or restaurant, I pointed out the guys who I saw check her out as he walked by. One day I challenged her to just walk back through the bar, to the lady's room, and just make eye contact with each of the guys and smile at them. She did it again when she came back. She agreed with me, and admitted that she felt some flirtatious energy from some of them. A couple spoke to her, saying, "hello gorgeous" or "hello beautiful".

We both worked on opposite ends of town. I started asking her to meet me for a drink after work, at a very upscale bar, in a hotel, that was midway between both of our work locations. I would make a point of rushing there from work, to get there ahead of her. I would suggest we sit at the bar, have a drink and talk about what we wanted to do for dinner.

I would sit at a table in a far corner where I could hide behind a low wall that had a planter and plants in it. I would watch guys come up and try to hit on her. She would politely tell them that she was waiting for her husband. Some would sit and chat with her anyway.

I would then go around the corner and come in the bar, pretending like I had just arrived. I would tell her that I had stopped in the lobby to tie my shoe, and noticed some guy talking to her. She would tell me about some of the guys who tried to pick her up. I would remind her that this was because she was beautiful and sexy.

I would have her point out the guys who tried to hit on her. I would tease her, and have her tell me who she found attractive. We would play a game, in which I would ask her, if she had to pick a guy to go up to a hotel room with, which guys did she find attractive enough or interesting enough to go with.

I admitted to her that it was an ego trip for me to know that I was with someone as beautiful and sexy as her, who got that kind of attention from other men. I confessed that I had fantasies about these men wanting her so badly, that they would take her up to a room to have sex with her.

I confess to her that it would actually turn me on. Eventually, when she told me of one she found attractive, I would ask her to imagine what their sex would be like, if she went up to a room with them.

Then we started a role play, where we would imagine that she had gone up to a hotel room with one of the men in the bar, and now she had come home and was telling me all about what they did. She was amazed at how aroused this got me, and how hard it made me

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