Our Hotwives

In a cuck way, I guess it may fit. I openly share my wife but bull implies we're not man enough to get it up.

Well, I am a vixen, and I'm not fond of it either, not with the kind of things my husband and I enjoy. To me, a bull belongs in a barnyard, not a bedroom. but I too admit it fits those who are into the whole dom/sub, cuck/bull dynamic, and good for them.

You aren’t the only one. The issue cycles around now and then. We have no problem with the term at all. BBC is also fine with us. But we avoid all pc type folks.

I'm fine with BBC or BBW. I agree, a bull belongs in a cattle yard or woods.

I've been on both sides of the hotwife/cuckold equation, and I've never liked "bull" from either perspective.

We're not fans of the term, however it's become so commonplace that it can help when seeking the type of partners she prefers. That would be professional, confident, and alpha type males that can be assertive and physical during playtime. Like I said, it helps. There are plenty of "bulls" out there that are woefully unqualified.

I think it's a term for a guy in general we would like to avoid. My wife wants to have a guy who's fun in and out of the bedroom. She also does not like to be bossed around...unless she is really turned on. A true confident man does not have to flaunt it and take on a persona that most men can't back up. So I'm glad the term exists, because most men calling themselves bulls will not be a match for my wife.

We agree. That term suggests a guy is going to bang your wife and leave because he thinks he’s a big stud.

We need to have some sort of relationship with anyone that we are involved with. We refer to the third guy as either her boyfriend or boy toy.

Boyfriend fits perfectly.

The word itself in these contexts carries negatives but has the 'zing' that some seem to like to imply - taking it to mean what *they* want it to mean to them. I don't care to use it in general as I see far more of the negatives in the meanings but in a few cases the term is somewhat of a key word for a couple - though more usually for the cuckold as opposed to his wife's choice.

As I'm much more interested in having playmates that are thoughtful and self-aware their insistent use of the term can be a bit of a put-off for me in those first discussions where we are discovering if there is chemistry. I usually ask what *they* mean if they use the term in our conversations. The answers can be revealing.

I'm not cattle, nor is your wife a cow.
Why not just say "our good friend ... "

My $.02 from the other side of the fence.

I only don't like the term in that the men that generally apply the term to themselves seem to have a certain... attitude. An attitude of entitlement. As if they are somehow entitled to have sex with my wife without putting in any work at all on trying to get to know her. Same with the term "FWB" I think a lot of guys confuse that with fuckbuddy. The forget the "F" in FWB stands for "friends".

They also assume I'm a cuck. The quickest way to get ghosted by us is to start trying to humiliate me. For one thing, I won't take it, for another it will completely turn Caramel off. We often use the term "3rd" or boyfriend between Caramel and I. Though that's kind of a misnomer too because he really won't be either.

I think we'll just stick with "friend".

Since reading this board, even though I'm not in the lifestyle, and may never join, I've come to dislike the term "bull" myself. It's objectifying.

Outlaw wrote: ↑

Wed Dec 29, 2021 12:29 pm

In a cuck way, I guess it may fit. I openly share my wife but bull implies we're not man enough to get it up.

I wouldn't say we hate the term but haven't referred to her men as bulls in the seven years my wife has been having sex with other men. I have used the designation of "boyfriend" or "friend," but the word Bull hasn't come into our conversations. As far as I know, I don't think any of her guys have thought of themselves as a bull among heifers.

~ Des

I think if you’d ever met someone who referred to themselves as a ‘bull’, that alone should eliminate him from consideration. I like ‘our good friend’ as someone suggested above.

I suspect the term ‘bull’ is big among those with a breeding fetish.

I prefer “special friend” over other names.

Pauline

No, Bull makes it sound like I'm little more than "Live Stock" No brain, No social skills. At someone's beck and call.

Liese wrote: ↑

Wed Dec 29, 2021 12:37 pm

Well, I am a vixen, and I'm not fond of it either, not with the kind of things my husband and I enjoy. To me, a bull belongs in a barnyard, not a bedroom. but I too admit it fits those who are into the whole dom/sub, cuck/bull dynamic, and good for them.

Agree. My hubby is a stag and I really hate the term bull - the extra guy joins us for fun - not to do me a favour.

mr-nobody wrote: ↑

Thu Dec 30, 2021 7:18 am

I only don't like the term in that the men that generally apply the term to themselves seem to have a certain... attitude. An attitude of entitlement. As if they are somehow entitled to have sex with my wife without putting in any work at all on trying to get to know her. Same with the term "FWB" I think a lot of guys confuse that with fuckbuddy. The forget the "F" in FWB stands for "friends".

They also assume I'm a cuck. The quickest way to get ghosted by us is to start trying to humiliate me. For one thing, I won't take it, for another it will completely turn Caramel off. We often use the term "3rd" or boyfriend between Caramel and I. Though that's kind of a misnomer too because he really won't be either.

I think we'll just stick with "friend".

Or playmate. I am with you. You try and humiliate hubby legs close

I’m stag and never refer to my wife’s boyfriends as “bulls”.

We both have our solids, makes our marriage amazing dating other people.

I hate the term bull. The other animal epithets can go too. Stag (a buck deer), why? Vixen? Has anyone actually smelled one of those critters? Worse than cat pee. Even cuckold has some serious negative connotations. I realize language, even slang words, are part of our cultural endowment. But I still cringe when I use them.

Parsifal wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 26, 2022 6:23 pm

I hate the term bull. The other animal epithets can go too. Stag (a buck deer), why? Vixen? Has anyone actually smelled one of those critters? Worse than cat pee. Even cuckold has some serious negative connotations. I realize language, even slang words, are part of our cultural endowment. But I still cringe when I use them.

Couldn't agree more. Most of the terms seem really silly to me.

funcpl477 wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 26, 2022 8:40 pm

Parsifal wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 26, 2022 6:23 pm

I hate the term bull. The other animal epithets can go too. Stag (a buck deer), why? Vixen? Has anyone actually smelled one of those critters? Worse than cat pee. Even cuckold has some serious negative connotations. I realize language, even slang words, are part of our cultural endowment. But I still cringe when I use them.

Couldn't agree more. Most of the terms seem really silly to me.

That’s because we have a lot of pussy men here. I’m actually an alpha who has always enjoy group sex, gabagbangs and orgies. Many times I’d see some weak ass cuckold sitting there with a cage just watching.

Kind of creepy watching these guys.

I also dislike “Bull” and only started using it as a self description when I stumbled into playing with HW/cuck couples during my early swinger lifestyle days. Seemed like the only applicable term at the time. “Stunt cock with personality”, fwb, fuck buddy, BWC...any of these seem better. “Special friend” has a nice ring. It captures the combined emotional and physical connection best, in my view. Probably why I prefer being with Stag/Vixen couples over HW/cucks.

My wife and I are poly, each of us with stable partners (although her boyfriend is fairly full time, and my girlfriend is very part-time). We are polyfidelitous so the subject of bulls is not of a great deal of importance to us.

Nevertheless, we both find the term a bit distasteful, and we would never consider her boyfriend to be a bull, even though there is somewhat of a stag/vixen accent to our poly situation, in that I do regularly watch them have sex, and we have a threesome at least once a month. But no humiliation or denial, just the hotness of watching my wife in action.

After she broke up with her first poly boyfriend due to a change in his personal situation, she wanted to take the time to experience a MFM 3some. So, I set us up on a swinger site, advertising for a male to join us for threesome. Needless to say, we had lots of responses, and quickly realized that the men identifying themselves as bulls were nothing like we were looking for. They all seemed to come across as arrogant, self-centered, entitled, and generally full of it. We did eventually find two excellent candidates, and had two great experiences. The second gentleman ended up being her current poly boyfriend.

And no offense to those bulls who do have class. I do realize there is a role for them also in a different arena.