My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

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Jasmaras+74
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My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Sun May 21, 2023 12:37 am

Nice to meet you all, I am a new member to this site, having been notified of this site some time ago off of reddit. Besides that, I am here to talk about my experience with being in this life style, and the somewhat short bit i experienced from it. Finally. Let me explain my situation. Any advice is appreciated of course. Firstly, I've been aware of my boyfriends fantasy for sometime. I am 22 years old, and he is 23. We've been dating the past 3 years now from college, and no matter how much of a goofy goob he maybe. I love him a lot. So, this past year starting around I want to say the summer time last year. He informed me of his fantasy, that is to see me be with other guys. Now, we've talked through this me and him a lot, that is not the problem. The problem I have, is that in the past 4 months. We've decided to take this fantasy of his to the next level. Of course, I actually enjoy this fantasy a bit myself. Granted, for a little bit of different reasons I am sure apart from his. Nevertheless, we have some little teases I would do to indulge him in his fantasy a little bit. Pretending I was on the phone with another guy, whilst we played around a little bit nothing harmless, but. Again, after some discussing with my boyfriend. We decided to playfully flirt with someone online, we laid it out openly how this is just some play tease that I am doing for him, talking with this stranger. As he watched me do it, or later tell him about it. The guy was understanding, happy, and we seemed to be having a fun time. Besides the blatant flirtatious play we would do back to one another, we also began to talk about life in general, life, hobbies, jobs, passions, etc. It was rather nice to have the time to talk with another guy, who for the most part seemed to be rather respectful, and interesting to talk to. Now, over time I felt our little chats were becoming too intimate. Saying good night to one another, focusing more on actually seemingly getting to know one another. Than some simple play reminiscent of some new found lovers dirty chat. Now, of course. I have no problems with that, after all. I participated in these chats, and it was rather nice to actually talk about our passions in equal regards to one another. It was rather fun and interesting. But, after some time. I began to feel uncomfortable, as. As I said. The chats began to grow more intense imo to actual intimacy, albeit it being a stranger over the internet. I began to grow addicted to our nightly chatter I felt, and broke it off. My boyfriend during the whole thing of course, seemed rather ecstatic, as this was apparently what he really wanted to see, not some simple lust filled chats. But an apparent actual genuine connection we were seeming to form. Nevertheless, I broke it off. Yes, he was fun to talk to. And god he was veeery interesting. And, when i broke it off. He seemed genuinely saddened, as even though i stopped using the associated account we used to discuss with him, reddit btw. He shot me a message soon there after. Saying he misses me. Finally, what I want to get here is. As other people who are more generally experienced with the road this life style seems to be, at least to me. Did I over step a line? Perhaps, do I even love my boyfriend? I know that sounds so stupid, but. I feel terrible about the situation, nauseous even. As yes we did talk about me moving on from talking to him, but. I feel I have nobody else to really bring up with this. And I know I feel deep inside, that I cannot say that I am wholly innocent from this. As I felt genuinely happy, and yet sick he wanted to talk still. Even though I told him that I am breaking it off. Anyways, I'm sorry if my verbal spewlage is an incredibly messy swamp of sentences, but. I hope I explained it all. As to help you all get into the idea of where my mindset is at, and assist me with some possible advice. Anyways, if anybody happens to have any questions let me know of course. And I'll do my best to answer them to the best of my abilities, nevertheless. I absolutely suck at explaining things. So I hope you don't mind me playing charades with you to hopefully explain it. Jk. Nevertheless, thank you again, and any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

afagehi7
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by afagehi7 » Sun May 21, 2023 4:29 am

You're in the right place. Perhaps just taking a break from online bloke would be better than shutting down all together?

There's an ask vhw (verified hotwife) thread in hotwife forum. You may post there and get advice from verified females. They'll have blue names.

I'm not the person to ask but I'd relax. You didn't do anything really wrong. I'm surprised your bf was ok with the more intimate chat... Sex chat yes but feelings growing type of talk.. I don't know about all that.. Everyone is different.

Head over to ask vhw and post your story and see what real females have to say

Jasmaras+74
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Sun May 21, 2023 6:16 am

afagehi7 wrote: ↑
Sun May 21, 2023 4:29 am
You're in the right place. Perhaps just taking a break from online bloke would be better than shutting down all together?

There's an ask vhw (verified hotwife) thread in hotwife forum. You may post there and get advice from verified females. They'll have blue names.

I'm not the person to ask but I'd relax. You didn't do anything really wrong. I'm surprised your bf was ok with the more intimate chat... Sex chat yes but feelings growing type of talk.. I don't know about all that.. Everyone is different.

Head over to ask vhw and post your story and see what real females have to say
OK, I'll go ahead and take your advice and see what people say. First I just got to find out where that place you want me to post it is. πŸ˜€ Thank you again, and I appreciate the advice.

afagehi7
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by afagehi7 » Sun May 21, 2023 11:28 am

Jasmaras+74 wrote: ↑
Sun May 21, 2023 6:16 am
afagehi7 wrote: ↑
Sun May 21, 2023 4:29 am
You're in the right place. Perhaps just taking a break from online bloke would be better than shutting down all together?

There's an ask vhw (verified hotwife) thread in hotwife forum. You may post there and get advice from verified females. They'll have blue names.

I'm not the person to ask but I'd relax. You didn't do anything really wrong. I'm surprised your bf was ok with the more intimate chat... Sex chat yes but feelings growing type of talk.. I don't know about all that.. Everyone is different.

Head over to ask vhw and post your story and see what real females have to say
OK, I'll go ahead and take your advice and see what people say. First I just got to find out where that place you want me to post it is. πŸ˜€ Thank you again, and I appreciate the advice.
viewtopic.php?f=5&t=32970

If you want female insight, that's where you go. Blue names have been verified as legit females.

Jasmaras+74
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Mon May 22, 2023 3:17 am

If anybody else has any other insight they feel like they could give, as to help. It will be greatly appreciated.

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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by ucaneffher » Mon May 22, 2023 4:53 am

From the male perspective, I recall when the girlfriend and I were just a few years younger than you and living what you and your boyfriend are living. We were both 19 when she officially started having sex with other men but we first discussed it when we were both 16. By the time we were 17, almost 18 she finally had given it enough thought and decided that she wanted to start putting this 'fantasy' to the test talking to guys.

From the time she was 17 to 18 she began texting with guys and went on 2-3 dates. In the very beginning she felt extremely guilty despite me being ecstatic about her communicating with guys and getting all pretty to go out. Her first couple of dates were basically her talking wonders of me and how great i was so the guys were naturally weirded out but they still wanted to see her because she was "hot" lol.

After those dates, she stopped and took a break. I was feeling hopeless because I thought that was it and she would never try again but 3 months after her 19th birthday she came home from work all cheesie asking if I still wanted her to talk to men and date. I reassured her and gave her my blessing.

It appears that she just needed to be ready and comfortable with it, and it seems that she only needed a little more time to process her new freedom. That was the last time that my girlfriend was ever monogamous to me, once she started dating and having sex she never stopped. She was finally comfortable talking, texting, flirting back, dating, and eventually being intimate with another man, and then a different, and eventually building up and having a whole bunch of friends with benefits outside of our relationship.

It reached a point when we would both come home from work at night and she would spend an hour or two just talking on the phone with guy friends. She began going out to hang out with guy friends without me. It became normal for her to go hang with guys alone without me and eventually it always led to more. She just preferred a connection so she would hangout and do fun activities that led to organically connecting which led to more than just sex. She loved having guy friends to go to the beach, BBQs, cruise around, dates and then at the end of the day she could end up in bed and spending the night with her friend and just really enjoy herself without restrictions.

Moral of the story, be patient, think things over so that you can process what is actually happening. As long as you are fine with yourself talking to other men while having a boyfriend, then all you need to do is remember that he is and always will be your priority but he is the one who has this fantasy and you're not betraying him, he wants this. Set some ground rules and boundaries that go both ways so you both remain united and strong. When you're ready, fulfill his fantasy and have your fun doing it.

Also remember, once you are comfortable and start getting attention outside of your relationship, you will need to balance your life but beware to both you and your boyfriend, you might like the attention and the extra sex so he needs to be ready in the event that like my girlfriend, you also get very much hooked on going getting your quickies with other men every few days. Girls get it easy because they can have their cake and eat it too πŸ˜‰

Good luck and keep us posted

Jasmaras+74
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Mon May 22, 2023 5:08 am

ucaneffher wrote: ↑
Mon May 22, 2023 4:53 am
From the male perspective, I recall when the girlfriend and I were just a few years younger than you and living what you and your boyfriend are living. We were both 19 when she officially started having sex with other men but we first discussed it when we were both 16. By the time we were 17, almost 18 she finally had given it enough thought and decided that she wanted to start putting this 'fantasy' to the test talking to guys.

From the time she was 17 to 18 she began texting with guys and went on 2-3 dates. In the very beginning she felt extremely guilty despite me being ecstatic about her communicating with guys and getting all pretty to go out. Her first couple of dates were basically her talking wonders of me and how great i was so the guys were naturally weirded out but they still wanted to see her because she was "hot" lol.

After those dates, she stopped and took a break. I was feeling hopeless because I thought that was it and she would never try again but 3 months after her 19th birthday she came home from work all cheesie asking if I still wanted her to talk to men and date. I reassured her and gave her my blessing.

It appears that she just needed to be ready and comfortable with it, and it seems that she only needed a little more time to process her new freedom. That was the last time that my girlfriend was ever monogamous to me, once she started dating and having sex she never stopped. She was finally comfortable talking, texting, flirting back, dating, and eventually becoming being intimate with another man, and then a different, and eventually eventually building up and having a whole bunch of friends with benefits outside of our relationship.

Moral of the story, be patient, think things over so that you can process what is actually happening. As long as you are fine with yourself talking to other men while having a boyfriend, then all you need to do is remember that he is and always will be your priority but he is the one who has this fantasy and you're not betraying him, he wants this. Set some ground rules and boundaries that go both ways do you both remain united and strong. When you're ready, fulfill his fantasy and have your fun doing it. Also remember, once you are comfortable and start getting attention outside of your relationship, you will need to balance your life but beware both to you and your boyfriend, you might like the attention and the extra sex so he needs to be ready in the event that like my girlfriend, you also get very much hooked on getting your quickie with another man every few dsys. Girls get it easy because they can have their cake and eat it too πŸ˜‰

Good luck and keep us posted
Thank you very much for the advice, I very much appreciate your insight. And I hope you don't mind me asking, but. How long have you guys been together now? Sorry if that is prying too much, I understand if you do not wish to share it, and I have appreciated your time responding to my post thus far. Other than that. I'm glad to hear your guys relationship sounds like it's going strong. My worry first and foremost, is definitely as you mentioned about getting "hooked" on the attention. I know it's stupid to be scared of it perhaps, as i mean i am old enough to not be so stupid at times and fall for such things, albeit were always still learning i feel, and are very much human, but I'm always cautious around such things, just because I know I very much have an addictive personality. And it's very hard for me at times I feel to pry myself off things. So, pardon me for asking of course. But, I'm just genuinely curious, and again. I appreciate your time you've given to me thus far.

ucaneffher
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by ucaneffher » Mon May 22, 2023 5:53 am

Glad to help! So we are no longer together and have not been for a very long time. We split for other reasons but spent about s decade together and 7 of those years were in the lifestyle. I will take the liberty to say that we both enjoyed the lifestyle and we tried a lot of crazy stuff over the years which you may read about around here.

I don't view her getting hooked as a bad thing, in part I'm the one who encouraged her to let go and just enjoy the attention. I'm the one who facilitated her and made it so much easier for her to date . When she would tell me about the cute guy who asked for her number and she would take his instead because was skeptical, I'd be the one encouraging her to give him a chance. It was only a matter of a few times before she realized that I'd simply encourage her and she just began taking initiative on her own.

These are all great topics for discussion with your boyfriend. Communication is key, grab a beer or s glass of wine and sit down to discuss scenarios. Do you guys want a fuck buddy for you, a boyfriend, or just a one time maybe two time fling? If you begin enjoying the thrill of getting pretty and going out and coming home late tipsy, can he handle you doing it once a week? Twice a week? You may very well like it so it's stuff like this that needs to be planned out so there are expectations.

I liked dropping off my girlfriend at her lovers' apartments, i would literally deliver my 20 year old girlfriend and would pick her up twice a week sometimes 3 times a week to 3 different guys and if it was on a Friday night, then i already knew my girlfriend was not coming back to our apartment that night. As crazy as it sounds, we both loved that arrangement. Different arrangements work for different couples so expand from there and discuss with your boyfriend to see what you two want to experiment with.

I'm in my 30s now and the current gf and i have been discussing all this stuff. I'm really hoping that this one also gives the lifestyle s try and enjoys it as much as my previous gf. She's gone on 10+ dates with 5 different guys. So far she has gotten to lots of texting and as far as undressing with lots of heavy kissing and allowing to be touched in all her intimate places but things came to a halt. Letting her have her time to process, when she is ready, I'll likely be notified that she has a date and that's how the ball will get rolling.

What do YOU want? Where do you see yourself with this lifestyle or fantasy of his? It's not for everyone but it sure is amazing for those who are all about it.

Jasmaras+74
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Mon May 22, 2023 6:14 am

ucaneffher wrote: ↑
Mon May 22, 2023 5:53 am
Glad to help! So we are no longer together and have not been for a very long time. We split for other reasons but spent about s decade together and 7 of those years were in the lifestyle. I will take the liberty to say that we both enjoyed the lifestyle and we tried a lot of crazy stuff over the years which you may read about around here.

I don't view her getting hooked as a bad thing, in part I'm the one who encouraged her to let go and just enjoy the attention. I'm the one who facilitated her and made it so much easier for her to date . When she would tell me about the cute guy who asked for her number and she would take his instead because was skeptical, I'd be the one encouraging her to give him a chance. It was only a matter of a few times before she realized that I'd simply encourage her and she just began taking initiative on her own.

These are all great topics for discussion with your boyfriend. Communication is key, grab a beer or s glass of wine and sit down to discuss scenarios. Do you guys want a fuck buddy for you, a boyfriend, or just a one time maybe two time fling? If you begin enjoying the thrill of getting pretty and going out and coming home late tipsy, can he handle you doing it once a week? Twice a week? You may very well like it so it's stuff like this that needs to be planned out so there are expectations.

I liked dropping off my girlfriend at her lovers' apartments, i would literally deliver my 20 year old girlfriend and would pick her up twice a week sometimes 3 times a week to 3 different guys and if it was on a Friday night, then i already knew my girlfriend was not coming back to our apartment that night. As crazy as it sounds, we both loved that arrangement. Different arrangements work for different couples so expand from there and discuss with your boyfriend to see what you two want to experiment with.

I'm in my 30s now and the current gf and i have been discussing all this stuff. I'm really hoping that this one also gives the lifestyle s try and enjoys it as much as my previous gf. She's gone on 10+ dates with 5 different guys. So far she has gotten to lots of texting and as far as undressing with lots of heavy kissing and allowing to be touched in all her intimate places but things came to a halt. Letting her have her time to process, when she is ready, I'll likely be notified that she has a date and that's how the ball will get rolling.

What do YOU want? Where do you see yourself with this lifestyle or fantasy of his? It's not for everyone but it sure is amazing for those who are all about it.
Thank you very much for sharing, and again. I am sorry about the sudden ask of you to possibly share. I greatly appreciate the advice again, thank you. And I went ahead and shot my boyfriend a text, telling him if we can talk tonight then the idea to talk with him about it, had crossed my mind, many times already, but. I was feeling very guilty about everything, and i just felt like a total pos. Nevertheless, i need to face the music and confront my fears head on. After all, with what you had said. My boyfriend too was the one who brought up the idea of this, and still. Nevertheless with my chats with how they were going, he still seemed to support me. So, i really appreciate your advice again, thank you. And I very much resonated with you talking about actually setting up a line of discussion about this with him, albeit without the alcohol 😁 haha. Nevertheless, again I appreciate it. And thank you again, nevertheless. If there is anybody else who wishes to impart to me their insight still, I'd greatly appreciate it!

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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by ucaneffher » Mon May 22, 2023 7:20 am

Very happy to help. I was on this same board (different format and name but same board) asking questions when I was literally a 15 year old sophomore in high school and received lots and lots of useful advice, so the least I can do is help another young couple get into something that I have loved so much.

The fact that you are asking questions and working on it tells me that you at least have interest and curiosity in going a little further with opening your relationship, at least on your end. Hopefully with all the helpful people on here and communication with your boyfriend, you'll soon be on your way to picking cute outfits with your boyfriend and having him watch you be on your way to having a nice interesting date or dates with other men the future. In no time you will be an empowered woman who had the worlds most supportive and encouraging boyfriend. Once you're both on the same page and lose your fear, it'll be worthwhile. Keep us posted!

Jasmaras+74
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Mon May 22, 2023 7:35 am

ucaneffher wrote: ↑
Mon May 22, 2023 7:20 am
Very happy to help. I was on this same board (different format and name but same board) asking questions when I was literally a 15 year old sophomore in high school and received lots and lots of useful advice, so the least I can do is help another young couple get into something that I have loved so much.

The fact that you are asking questions and working on it tells me that you at least have interest and curiosity in going a little further with opening your relationship, at least on your end. Hopefully with all the helpful people on here and communication with your boyfriend, you'll soon be on your way to picking cute outfits with your boyfriend and having him watch you be on your way to having a nice interesting date or dates with other men the future. In no time you will be an empowered woman who had the worlds most supportive and encouraging boyfriend. Once you're both on the same page and lose your fear, it'll be worthwhile. Keep us posted!
Not sure about that yet! Haha. Nevertheless, thank you again. And we'll see. So far it's been pleasant to chat with everyone who's given me advice so far, so I just might if I feel like I need it or whatever. Nevertheless, thank you again, you're awesome. And again, if anybody has any other bits of advice to give me before tonight, please do not hesitate. Thank you all again!

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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by ucaneffher » Mon May 22, 2023 10:22 am

Is your boyfriend aware of this group and that you're in it?

Jasmaras+74
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Mon May 22, 2023 10:55 am

ucaneffher wrote: ↑
Mon May 22, 2023 10:22 am
Is your boyfriend aware of this group and that you're in it?
Not this, no. I don't really have anybody else to really talk about this stuff to, except of course him. And do, with everything the way it is, with how guilty I've been feeling. I just wanted to talk to people and get their advice about this sensitive topic, without him there this time. Especially since as I said before. I've been feeling like a total pos and feeling guilty with the whole thing with that online guy, so. Yeah.

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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by ucaneffher » Tue May 23, 2023 8:55 am

Soooo did you have time to sit down and talk to your boyfriend? How'd it go?

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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by SuperSqueak » Tue May 23, 2023 10:59 am

I can't give a female perspective on this, but I'd like to throw in my two cents. I think we often let social norms blind us to our own biology. In my experience it's completely possible to have romantic love for multiple people, and with monogamy being the norm, that makes it difficult to understand ourselves because we're taught our entire lives that's wrong. This isn't me advocating for anyone to be polygamous, or getting on a soapbox about what is or isn't the right lifestyle for anyone. My point is that just because you find yourself becoming interested in someone else doesn't diminish the love you have for your boyfriend, and I think it's very important to remember that. Cheating is the antithesis of love as it's a betrayal of trust, and being interested and involved with someone else isn't automatically cheating no matter how intimate you become with the second person. If your boyfriend consents to it and you're not sneaking behind his back to enjoy it, and everyone involved is happy, then it's not cheating. Intimacy with someone else doesn't mean you don't love your boyfriend, just make sure you discuss your feelings with him so you can agree on your priorities. If he's uncomfortable with you feeling intimate with the other guy, then back off. If he's comfortable with it and encourages it, go as far as you're both comfortable with; that doesn't mean you have to stop loving your boyfriend to do it. The only key to making the whole thing work is that everyone involved is open with their feelings and is happy with the arrangement.

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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Tue May 23, 2023 7:21 pm

ucaneffher wrote: ↑
Tue May 23, 2023 8:55 am
Soooo did you have time to sit down and talk to your boyfriend? How'd it go?
So, it went pretty well I felt. We talked last night, as well as this morning after breakfast about everything, my fears, as well as his fears, my desires, as well as his. And I feel a lot more comfortable now about continuing this perhaps. He told me the reason why he was fine seeing us becoming chummy with one another was because, for one. He told me he loves me, and he knows that I love him a lot, and that. Even though he does have times where he can perhaps get a little bit jealous, he told me he never felt during that entire time that I was talking to that guy, that I was ignoring him. And possibly falling out of love with him, not at all. The other reason he told me why he liked seeing me becoming more intimate with the other guy also, was because well. He just found it kind of hot he said, and he said I didn't seem uncomfortable with it until I pulled the plug. So that's why he let it continue. Now, as for what I told him about my fears, was just that, I felt guilty about the whole situation feeling like I was becoming too intimate, and he told me don't be. Because, at least from what he could tell, he never truly felt our relationship was in danger or anything. And after explaining it to him more on how excited I was about my chats with the other guy, again he said that he was happy I felt that way, especially by how he felt from them too. And told me of course if I felt uncomfortable at all, to just pull the plug. My well being comes first, and so with that in mind. I believe that pretty much sums up all we talked about, thank you very much for your advice you've given me, I do really appreciate it. So with all that in mind, I have gone ahead and reconnected with the guy I used to talk to, just because I feel comfortable now talking with him again, especially rather than someone else who might not be as nice, or charming. So, yeah. Thank you again. And if I feel like I need perhaps anymore advice and/or to vent about somethings, just to get a secondary opinion, I'll keep this site in mind.

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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Tue May 23, 2023 7:36 pm

SuperSqueak wrote: ↑
Tue May 23, 2023 10:59 am
I can't give a female perspective on this, but I'd like to throw in my two cents. I think we often let social norms blind us to our own biology. In my experience it's completely possible to have romantic love for multiple people, and with monogamy being the norm, that makes it difficult to understand ourselves because we're taught our entire lives that's wrong. This isn't me advocating for anyone to be polygamous, or getting on a soapbox about what is or isn't the right lifestyle for anyone. My point is that just because you find yourself becoming interested in someone else doesn't diminish the love you have for your boyfriend, and I think it's very important to remember that. Cheating is the antithesis of love as it's a betrayal of trust, and being interested and involved with someone else isn't automatically cheating no matter how intimate you become with the second person. If your boyfriend consents to it and you're not sneaking behind his back to enjoy it, and everyone involved is happy, then it's not cheating. Intimacy with someone else doesn't mean you don't love your boyfriend, just make sure you discuss your feelings with him so you can agree on your priorities. If he's uncomfortable with you feeling intimate with the other guy, then back off. If he's comfortable with it and encourages it, go as far as you're both comfortable with; that doesn't mean you have to stop loving your boyfriend to do it. The only key to making the whole thing work is that everyone involved is open with their feelings and is happy with the arrangement.
Thank you very much for the advice, I really like how thought out it is. I appreciate it, so far we have gone ahead and discussed my reasonings for why I stopped and everything with the other guy, and each other's feelings about the whole situation. So far, we are both happy. And besides that stint of me feeling guilty, I felt comfortable with the other guy, so I have gone ahead and reconnected with the other guy, with my boyfriends blessing of course. Again, thank you very much for the advice, I appreciate it.

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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by ucaneffher » Tue May 23, 2023 9:33 pm

Awesome! That sounds like a happy ending (or new beginning) and I'm glad that you both sorted your feelings out. You both know what you want and what you don't want which is very important in a relationship alone, let alone in one that is heading towards being open.

I know you got the advice you needed and now it's time to head out but don't forget to keep up nosy folks in mind when you reach new milestones and want to share your new accomplishments lol

Good luck to you and your boyfriend, i am sure he must be happy as hell with you reconnecting with the other guy, i know i was super happy when my girlfriend asked me out of nowhere if I was still wanting her to talk to guys and then surprised me with the news that she agreed to go on a date with one of her cute customers from work. Anyway, enjoy your upcoming freedom ;)

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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Tue May 23, 2023 10:36 pm

ucaneffher wrote: ↑
Tue May 23, 2023 9:33 pm
Awesome! That sounds like a happy ending (or new beginning) and I'm glad that you both sorted your feelings out. You both know what you want and what you don't want which is very important in a relationship alone, let alone in one that is heading towards being open.

I know you got the advice you needed and now it's time to head out but don't forget to keep up nosy folks in mind when you reach new milestones and want to share your new accomplishments lol

Good luck to you and your boyfriend, i am sure he must be happy as hell with you reconnecting with the other guy, i know i was super happy when my girlfriend asked me out of nowhere if I was still wanting her to talk to guys and then surprised me with the news that she agreed to go on a date with one of her cute customers from work. Anyway, enjoy your upcoming freedom ;)
Maybe, haha. We'll see. I'm already keeping the account in case I need more advice in the future. So I wouldn't mind talking about whatever comes and venting, since my boyfriend is really the only person I can confide in about this stuff. So, I just might. Nevertheless, thank you again for you advice once more, and I hope you have a pleasant rest of your evening.

Jasmaras+74
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Wed May 24, 2023 9:45 am

ucaneffher wrote: ↑
Tue May 23, 2023 9:33 pm
Awesome! That sounds like a happy ending (or new beginning) and I'm glad that you both sorted your feelings out. You both know what you want and what you don't want which is very important in a relationship alone, let alone in one that is heading towards being open.

I know you got the advice you needed and now it's time to head out but don't forget to keep up nosy folks in mind when you reach new milestones and want to share your new accomplishments lol

Good luck to you and your boyfriend, i am sure he must be happy as hell with you reconnecting with the other guy, i know i was super happy when my girlfriend asked me out of nowhere if I was still wanting her to talk to guys and then surprised me with the news that she agreed to go on a date with one of her cute customers from work. Anyway, enjoy your upcoming freedom ;)
After some discussion with him (the other guy) this afternoon, me and the other guy are planning a pseudo date to chat and reaquaint ourselves with one another once more. Even though we haven't stopped talking for too long. Just thought I'd inform, as I know you possibly wanted an update, plus any advice of any kind is still more than appreciated.

ucaneffher
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by ucaneffher » Wed May 24, 2023 9:55 am

That's great! The break you guys took from the friendship will provide lots of topics to talk about and in a sense get an idea of missing each other's company via chat. You can explain that you felt guilty about talking to him but now that you and your boyfriend talked, you are excited to be able to talk to him again.

Is he local to you or far? Do you see yourself stepping it up to phone conversations down the road?

I remember when my girlfriend started, it was all texting but once phone calls were introduced, she would answer, get cheesy and just walk into the other room and spend 1, 2, 3 hours just talking and laughing away while i would try to listen from the other room/living room. She would sometimes hand me the phone to talk to her guys while she went to the bathroom. Anyway, i feel like learning about your baby steps into the lifestyle sort of makes me relive all the baby steps i lived in the past.

Do you have any plans or goals as to what you would like to get out of communicating with this guy?

Jasmaras+74
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Wed May 24, 2023 10:11 am

ucaneffher wrote: ↑
Wed May 24, 2023 9:55 am
That's great! The break you guys took from the friendship will provide lots of topics to talk about and in a sense get an idea of missing each other's company via chat. You can explain that you felt guilty about talking to him but now that you and your boyfriend talked, you are excited to be able to talk to him again.

Is he local to you or far? Do you see yourself stepping it up to phone conversations down the road?

I remember when my girlfriend started, it was all texting but once phone calls were introduced, she would answer, get cheesy and just walk into the other room and spend 1, 2, 3 hours just talking and laughing away while i would try to listen from the other room/living room. She would sometimes hand me the phone to talk to her guys while she went to the bathroom. Anyway, i feel like learning about your baby steps into the lifestyle sort of makes me relive all the baby steps i lived in the past.

Do you have any plans or goals as to what you would like to get out of communicating with this guy?
He's somewhat local, he's in the same state. But rather far, he already knows why I stopped talking to him. I informed him as such when we broke it off, and not atm. No. I've never necessarily given it any thought of possibly it progressing from text to phone calls. As for what we both, me and my boyfriend get out from talking to the guy is, when my boyfriend first told me of his fantasy, and I begun to play into it, I would set up erp's with others, and pretend to be a cheating hotwife. And me and my boyfriend would read the chats together. With this guy it's generally rather the same way, albeit instead of the constant 24/7 horny talk people would like to get up to with these erp's, it's sexting. But, at times it isn't that, and instead me and the guy have had some wonderful discussions without any sort of horny and/or possibly gross talk, and instead has been suuuch an insanely smart, compassionate, and understanding human being. I cannot help but really enjoy our conversations. So, in terms of goals and/or plans in the quick summed up story I just gave you between me and him, the only things that will happen are still the same. I share what is happening with my boyfriend, both the mundane and the sexually charged, and we just both have our fun. Mine with the guy getting my compliments from him among other things, and my boyfriend just enjoying the show. Sorry if my post can be a little confusing when you read it btw, again this is just a general summarized version of everything, so I hope it helps explain everything as according to your questions.

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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by ucaneffher » Wed May 24, 2023 11:13 am

Hey that all makes perfect sense, no confusion at all. There never needs to be a rush into anything and you don't necessarily need to have an objective. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a guy friend to have wonderful and interesting conversations with before or after a little ERP. If down the road the friendship organically becomes deeper, then at least it'll be with a guy that you truly like and enjoy chatting with. Your boyfriend is obviously okay with it and in a sense he understands there are risks with this type of fantasy of his. He is aware that you could potentially become attracted or want more down the road if you are going to be in steady communication. Not saying that you will or that's what you are after but neither was my girlfriend and boy did she take us both on a crazy wild rollercoaster ride!

Have you and your boyfriend started including your ERP with other men into your own intimate time? Like is he beginning to express his arousal for what you are doing ?

Jasmaras+74
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Wed May 24, 2023 11:33 am

ucaneffher wrote: ↑
Wed May 24, 2023 11:13 am
Hey that all makes perfect sense, no confusion at all. There never needs to be a rush into anything and you don't necessarily need to have an objective. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a guy friend to have wonderful and interesting conversations with before or after a little ERP. If down the road the friendship organically becomes deeper, then at least it'll be with a guy that you truly like and enjoy chatting with. Your boyfriend is obviously okay with it and in a sense he understands there are risks with this type of fantasy of his. He is aware that you could potentially become attracted or want more down the road if you are going to be in steady communication. Not saying that you will or that's what you are after but neither was my girlfriend and boy did she take us both on a crazy wild rollercoaster ride!

Have you and your boyfriend started including your ERP with other men into your own intimate time? Like is he beginning to express his arousal for what you are doing ?
Yes, he has. When I first started doing the erp thing some odd months ago, he would tease me about it. And watch our rp I would have with the other guy. That's why he said he felt comfortable with this whole debacle i was having with the other guy, because as I said before. He said he did not feel afraid about our relationship with one another, because he never felt I fell out of love with him. So, yes. We have included our erp chats I used to have. Albeit only with the teasing really.

Jasmaras+74
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Re: My albeit somewhat short escapade into this LS advice needed

Unread post by Jasmaras+74 » Sun May 28, 2023 1:47 pm

ucaneffher wrote: ↑
Wed May 24, 2023 11:13 am
Hey that all makes perfect sense, no confusion at all. There never needs to be a rush into anything and you don't necessarily need to have an objective. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a guy friend to have wonderful and interesting conversations with before or after a little ERP. If down the road the friendship organically becomes deeper, then at least it'll be with a guy that you truly like and enjoy chatting with. Your boyfriend is obviously okay with it and in a sense he understands there are risks with this type of fantasy of his. He is aware that you could potentially become attracted or want more down the road if you are going to be in steady communication. Not saying that you will or that's what you are after but neither was my girlfriend and boy did she take us both on a crazy wild rollercoaster ride!

Have you and your boyfriend started including your ERP with other men into your own intimate time? Like is he beginning to express his arousal for what you are doing ?
Hey, I just wanted to say thank you to you and everyone who has given me advice about my situation. Just as an update, we have reconnected. Me and the other guy as I've talked about before, and chatted these past two evenings, when I had the time. And it has been so nice. He truly is an incredible man, and I just wanted to tell ya'll thank you once more for helping me with my earlier predicament.

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