Angst?

[irishmusicman]

Hi all! My wife and I are exploring situations where I would watch her with someone else and then we'd have sex afterwards, but not a cuckolding situation because I'm not interested in humiliation. Still, I checked out the cuckold forum and a lot of people talk about cuck angst, a sort of jealousy I suppose. I would expect the first time or two to come with some complicated feelings to work through, but is significant long-term angst common with the stag-vixen type of experiences?

[SilverStag]

I don't find it as much as t is described in the Cuck section. I do have some angst when she is on a solo date, but mostly it is about whether she is enjoying herself and whether the guys is skilled enough to get her off (she has a tricky and long fuse, so most guys are too impatient to ensure she gets hers before they get theirs). Since she doesn't like to "be the show" and dislikes 3 somes, my angst comes when she is on a solo date.

While playing as a couple with another couple, I find that I am too engrossed in pleasing the other lady to worry much about Cecil, unless I hear some unusual or disconcerting sounds from her. This is minimized by the fact that most times we prefer to play in separate rooms with our playmates (our tactic caused by too many guys who lose focus on Cecil to watch me with their women)

[Tank Turner]

We want to control environments. Except once, which was an unusual circumstance, I'm always with my wife participating. My wife is most comfortable in our home. We know we can control what happens in our home. We know that there are no hidden cameras. We know men aren't going to appear from other rooms.

My wife does happy hour Fridays with her coworkers. She has called me to pick her up or has Ubered home if it was was too risky for her to drive. She's been hit on many, many times. She's a natural flirt. She would never, ever leave to go anywhere with a dude she met at happy hour. That would be unacceptable risk.

She still does Friday happy hours but not as often.

[irishmusicman]

I don't find it as much as t is described in the Cuck section. I do have some angst when she is on a solo date, but mostly it is about whether she is enjoying herself and whether the guys is skilled enough to get her off (she has a tricky and long fuse, so most guys are too impatient to ensure she gets hers before they get theirs). Since she doesn't like to "be the show" and dislikes 3 somes, my angst comes when she is on a solo date.

While playing as a couple with another couple, I find that I am too engrossed in pleasing the other lady to worry much about Cecil, unless I hear some unusual or disconcerting sounds from her. This is minimized by the fact that most times we prefer to play in separate rooms with our playmates (our tactic caused by too many guys who lose focus on Cecil to watch me with their women)

Thanks! We've already agreed that anything done will be done with my participation and there will be no solo dates. She said she wouldn't feel good about that, and neither would I. At least as of now.

[richkathy96003]

I think the only time I had any angst was when my wife spent a week with a lover as his mistress. I never felt that when they were fucking 3 or 4 times a week and she was coming home that night or next morning. That first time she was gone for a week each month was unique but I learned to adapt This went on for 5 years and it was great for her and I.

[CaliLondon]

I keep thinking I should feel angst or jealousy but I never do. This might be because I'm older than most here, 68, and I see 50-year-old Neil as a surrogate lover for my wife. We only play together, he's about as non-alpha as you can get, and we always talk afterwards. The way I see it, if I go to a restaurant, I want the chef to be a better cook than I am. If my wife has a lover, I want him to be better in bed than me as well. If I don't feel jealous of a better cook, why should I feel angst over a better lover?

[RonDom]

If I don't feel jealous of a better cook, why should I feel angst over a better lover?

Because sex is different than cooking, it just is. No explanation should be necessary.

[Carlas husband]

I have cuck angst for sure. I see it as closely interlinked with the thrill. Feeling it, overcoming it, feeling it again, etc. The rollercoaster/bungy jump thing.
I think I will be disappointed if it goes away. Time will tell.

[wifewatcher 2]

I don't feel that angst so much when she is flying solo if she is coming home afterwards but the first time she spent the night with a guy and didn't come home until 2 the next day was a completely different story,
Lieing in bed all night knowing she wouldn't be there and not knowing when she would be home that angst was overwhelming I couldn't sleep all night from my imagination running wild if I closed my eyes I could see her getting fucked imagining what she was doing at that very moment was just overwhelming,

[mrdnrm]

I keep thinking I should feel angst or jealousy but I never do. This might be because I'm older than most here, 68, and I see 50-year-old Neil as a surrogate lover for my wife. We only play together, he's about as non-alpha as you can get, and we always talk afterwards. The way I see it, if I go to a restaurant, I want the chef to be a better cook than I am. If my wife has a lover, I want him to be better in bed than me as well. If I don't feel jealous of a better cook, why should I feel angst over a better lover?

I agree with most of what you said and l use a similar analogy as the better cook. My wife had a lover we used to see. She was 49 years old and he was very handsome Black Gentleman yet only 19 years old when we met him. He was in the Air Force station in Tampa Florida not to far from our home. She dated him for 4.5 years and he was a very good lover for her. He and I talked a lot after each date. One time he asked me if it would be ok if he got her pregnant. I said that would bring great joy to us, she is not on birth control so give it your best shot. What he didn't understand in his youth was that my wife was beyond that time and had gone through her change. But this goal of his made him a much better lover for her than I was. Plus he had a larger cock and greater stamina then I did, It was awesome, especially to hear him say to her while he was inside her; "I want you to have my baby" and she would reply back "go ahead cum in me, give me your cum". This was an incredible erotic boost to both their orgasms.

[wifewatcher 2]

I still get the angst every time my wife goes solo even after ten years of experiencing it ,
I watch her get ready then when it's time for her to go she hugs and kisses me before she goes out the door and just as the door closes it starts the feelings the angst and it continues until she comes home again and if she is late getting home it increases,
I don't know about others on here but for me it happens every time my wife has one of her little adventures as we call them,
It would be interesting to know how others cope with it.

[GGG123]

I would also love to know how others cope with these feelings. I have posted my story on the another thread in the cuck area so to keep a long story short would love to know how the husband's out there cope. Hotwife had a long term (15 years) fwb boyfriend but things haven't gone back to the way they were after COVID. 3 times a week has now dropped to less than once a month. When she was with him I felt fine, turned on and really excited, but no angst because I knew where she was, that she was safe and that she was coming home to me (eventually). Now to fill her needs this year we have gone from us both going out together and her picking up a man maybe twice a month, to her going out alone every Friday and Saturday night to pick up men. I'm really struggling with this. Don't get me wrong it turns me on so much, watching her get ready, the outfit with no underwear, knowing that someone else will probably be cumming inside her by the end of the night but when she's gone & I don't know where she is my stomach is doing summersaults while I'm riding this rollercoaster. I have asked her to tone it down a bit but that didn't go well so I would really appreciate some advice on how to cope with my amazing hotwife. It feels so good before she goes out, so bad while she is out, but then so good when she comes home with that just fucked glow & I know she has had a good time and then she thanks me for the freedom she has & I get to lick her cum filled pussy before we reconnect with amazing sex & fall asleep naked. Then the following morning she is on a real high & I quite often feel really low as I worry about her but then as the week goes on the amazing feelings begin to build inside of me again until it's Fri night and she is walking out the door to go & offer her pussy to another man and I'm back on the roller coaster at home alone. I do love it but how do I cope with these massive lows

[wifewatcher 2]

Every Friday and Saturday sounds a bit much to me sorry but that's just me,my wife would go out once or twice a month sometimes with me sometimes with her girlfriends and sometimes solo and it's not every time that she would pick someone up,
We have had mmf or fmf sometimes I watch sometimes I join in and sometimes I give her space to fly solo ,
I can happily cope with her going solo and find it exciting to imagine what she is doing at that particular moment but the few times she stayed overnight with someone I found it hard to cope with the angst I experienced was of the scale so much so that she trys not to do it but sometimes she just gets carried away with the moment,.she will always text me to let me know she is ok and ask if she can stay out until the morning,
I have never said no to her but at that moment I feel the angst rising and I know it will be a long night for me,

[steveb713]

I’m not certain if my situation is appropriate for the HW Forum or here. If I/m in the wrong place please excuse my lapse of knowledge.

I/m the husband of an occasional hotwife. I say occasional as she sees her FB perhaps every two weeks or so and has for the past couple of years. She’s not had sex with any others during this time or any time in our years of marriage.

The arrangement started with my wife telling me after years of my badgering her ( much to my embarrassment and remorse) that she was going to give me what I/ve been asking for all these years. I was to put it mildly stunned, when she said that to me. I was torn from the outset thinking that perhaps she’d fallen for a guy and it was her way of us breaking up, though I couldn’t conceive that she’d be that sneaky or coy. At the same time I was filled with excitement and hesitation when she told me.

My problem is that I’m torn about her having sex with him and feeling like I/m wanting her to stop as I experience jealousy and worry that I’ll lose her. It’s fear based. On the other hand I absolutely love the idea of it - the excitement I feel when she’s getting ready to meet him, her bathing and applying make up, getting dressed etc. It puts me over the edge with excitement. Of course when she leaves to see him I am “over the moon “ with excitement. Both experiences take over. When she gets home and we have sex it’s incredible - at the same time I’ve also learned to accept that she sometimes asks that we wait a period of time before we have sex as she’s exhausted. I know from our own sex life that after she has many orgasms she only wants to sleep. I get it and respect that. I know that our time together will come. And it does.

It’s taken me time to recognize this is supposed to be for her not solely for me. I didn’t recognize that initially. I’ve come to not only believe that but to live it. Trouble is I don’t always act in our mutual best interests. I get more than a little crazy. On the one hand I love the idea of her having sex with him at the same time I have this fear that I/m going to lose her to him. As you can imagine it’s very hard on my wife who I adore. I want to add that she’s never done anything to make me worry about her love for me. This is all about me. We’ve talked it over repeatedly though the worry and jealousy comes back soon after she’s back home from her date with him.

I/m asking others if you’ve experienced this and what suggestions you may have to offer. I know if I asked, she’d stop seeing him but I don’t want that. It isn’t fair to her - it’s been wonderful for her. Plus I love the idea and thought of her being with him and others ( if it should come to that).

She’s regained self confidence and self anssurance. She smiles more she’s happy as she feels desired by someone other than me. All this and more. I love everything it’s done for the two of us yet I have this worry which is more than simple angst.

Thanks for letting me share this I am open to any suggestions anyone may offer

[steveb713]

I still get the angst every time my wife goes solo even after ten years of experiencing it ,
I watch her get ready then when it's time for her to go she hugs and kisses me before she goes out the door and just as the door closes it starts the feelings the angst and it continues until she comes home again and if she is late getting home it increases,
I don't know about others on here but for me it happens every time my wife has one of her little adventures as we call them,
It would be interesting to know how others cope with it.

I just posted my problem which is similar to yours - I want to ask how is it for the two of you when she comes home to you ? How are things - my issue is that my angst persists after she’s home - on the one hand I am filled with lust for her. I’m also feeling jealousy or pronounced angst which persists after she’s come home. I feel terrible being this way and want to change it but find it difficult to do.

[wifewatcher 2]

Hi, I find that the angst continues for a short while after she is home dependent on how long she has been away if it's just a few hours then not to long but if she has stayed over night which she has done on a few occasions it can last for a lot longer,
It's only natural you can't just turn of your feelings at a moments notice,
I will say that when she comes home from what we call one of her little adventures the sex between us is fantastic and goes on for days ,
May ask if your wife has ever done an over nighter my wife has and the angst lasts for days after I find it so difficult when I wake up in the morning to an empty cold bed ,
It's only natural to feel jealousy and lust and the angst as we call it so don't beet yourself up about it it's normal when the one you love is giving herself to another man or woman if that's the way it goes,
We have been doing it for ten years of and on and it still fills me with angst,

[Carlas husband]

I’m not certain if my situation is appropriate for the HW Forum or here. If I/m in the wrong place please excuse my lapse of knowledge.

I/m the husband of an occasional hotwife. I say occasional as she sees her FB perhaps every two weeks or so and has for the past couple of years. She’s not had sex with any others during this time or any time in our years of marriage.

The arrangement started with my wife telling me after years of my badgering her ( much to my embarrassment and remorse) that she was going to give me what I/ve been asking for all these years. I was to put it mildly stunned, when she said that to me. I was torn from the outset thinking that perhaps she’d fallen for a guy and it was her way of us breaking up, though I couldn’t conceive that she’d be that sneaky or coy. At the same time I was filled with excitement and hesitation when she told me.

My problem is that I’m torn about her having sex with him and feeling like I/m wanting her to stop as I experience jealousy and worry that I’ll lose her. It’s fear based. On the other hand I absolutely love the idea of it - the excitement I feel when she’s getting ready to meet him, her bathing and applying make up, getting dressed etc. It puts me over the edge with excitement. Of course when she leaves to see him I am “over the moon “ with excitement. Both experiences take over. When she gets home and we have sex it’s incredible - at the same time I’ve also learned to accept that she sometimes asks that we wait a period of time before we have sex as she’s exhausted. I know from our own sex life that after she has many orgasms she only wants to sleep. I get it and respect that. I know that our time together will come. And it does.

It’s taken me time to recognize this is supposed to be for her not solely for me. I didn’t recognize that initially. I’ve come to not only believe that but to live it. Trouble is I don’t always act in our mutual best interests. I get more than a little crazy. On the one hand I love the idea of her having sex with him at the same time I have this fear that I/m going to lose her to him. As you can imagine it’s very hard on my wife who I adore. I want to add that she’s never done anything to make me worry about her love for me. This is all about me. We’ve talked it over repeatedly though the worry and jealousy comes back soon after she’s back home from her date with him.

I/m asking others if you’ve experienced this and what suggestions you may have to offer. I know if I asked, she’d stop seeing him but I don’t want that. It isn’t fair to her - it’s been wonderful for her. Plus I love the idea and thought of her being with him and others ( if it should come to that).

She’s regained self confidence and self anssurance. She smiles more she’s happy as she feels desired by someone other than me. All this and more. I love everything it’s done for the two of us yet I have this worry which is more than simple angst.

Thanks for letting me share this I am open to any suggestions anyone may offer

I know where you are. These are some of the truths I tell myself to deal with it:

- her lover is a human being with flaws and defects, just like myself
- she loves me more, not less, and wishes to stay with me more, not less, because I support her in doing what gives her pleasure
- her lover envies me, because I am married to such a hot and sexy woman (an actual quote that Carla shared with me )
- the angst is part of it. Embrace it as part of the overall satisfying package.

[wifewatcher 2]

I will say we have been married for 16 years and the first 5 were just her and me the sex was great between us and we had our family a boy and a girl in those 5 years every thing was great until it all went wrong,
She had an affair with a guy from work it only lasted 3 months before I became aware of it a woman can be very good at keeping a secret,
She stopped it after 3 months and if the guy hadn't been such an asshole I might have never known about it to her it was just a fling that she never thought would happen we were happy together were had our family everything was just the way we wanted,
Then I got a phone call that shattered my world it was her partner in crime the guy who had been fucking my wife the mother of our children for the last three months,
He told me that he was having an affair with her and they were in love and she was going to leave me and they had plans to move away and be together,
I was devastated I couldn't believe it I sat at home waiting for her coming home from work getting more and more worked up about it ,
When the door opened and she walked into the kitchen she knew immediately something was wrong just by looking at my face ,I told her about the phone call her face went white and she couldn't deny it so she confessed, anyway I will tell the full story if you want ,
Needless to say we worked through it as we are still together and we are tighter as a couple than ever,but it was a wakeup call to me she needed more she was a sexual being,
Six months later we were in a hotel room with another guy and I watched her have sex with someone else she never looked sexier as he slipped his hard cock into her wet pussy and I never loved her more as she squealed when he came deep in her pulsating pussy,
That was our start into shearing, what I'm trying to say is even conventual couples can have problems,
She never meets a guy more than twice so there can be no emotional feelings other than just the sex of course there is emotion at the time and if he is good at turning her on she gives herself totally to him as long as it lasts,
We are more in love than ever I give her the freedom to Express her true nature and we keep our relationship alive,
All the angst is worth it and the angst is still as strong as ever I have never got used to it but enjoy that part of it for as long as it lasts you never know when a woman will say that's it it's over I don't want to do this anymore and you will be back to a monogamous marriage and I know you will miss the angst it's like a drug you begin to crave it it's worth the worry you have about your wife being sexually satisfied by another man,
Keep in touch I would love to know how your sharing life progresses, good luck,

[steveb713]

I’m not certain if my situation is appropriate for the HW Forum or here. If I/m in the wrong place please excuse my lapse of knowledge.

I/m the husband of an occasional hotwife. I say occasional as she sees her FB perhaps every two weeks or so and has for the past couple of years. She’s not had sex with any others during this time or any time in our years of marriage.

The arrangement started with my wife telling me after years of my badgering her ( much to my embarrassment and remorse) that she was going to give me what I/ve been asking for all these years. I was to put it mildly stunned, when she said that to me. I was torn from the outset thinking that perhaps she’d fallen for a guy and it was her way of us breaking up, though I couldn’t conceive that she’d be that sneaky or coy. At the same time I was filled with excitement and hesitation when she told me.

My problem is that I’m torn about her having sex with him and feeling like I/m wanting her to stop as I experience jealousy and worry that I’ll lose her. It’s fear based. On the other hand I absolutely love the idea of it - the excitement I feel when she’s getting ready to meet him, her bathing and applying make up, getting dressed etc. It puts me over the edge with excitement. Of course when she leaves to see him I am “over the moon “ with excitement. Both experiences take over. When she gets home and we have sex it’s incredible - at the same time I’ve also learned to accept that she sometimes asks that we wait a period of time before we have sex as she’s exhausted. I know from our own sex life that after she has many orgasms she only wants to sleep. I get it and respect that. I know that our time together will come. And it does.

It’s taken me time to recognize this is supposed to be for her not solely for me. I didn’t recognize that initially. I’ve come to not only believe that but to live it. Trouble is I don’t always act in our mutual best interests. I get more than a little crazy. On the one hand I love the idea of her having sex with him at the same time I have this fear that I/m going to lose her to him. As you can imagine it’s very hard on my wife who I adore. I want to add that she’s never done anything to make me worry about her love for me. This is all about me. We’ve talked it over repeatedly though the worry and jealousy comes back soon after she’s back home from her date with him.

I/m asking others if you’ve experienced this and what suggestions you may have to offer. I know if I asked, she’d stop seeing him but I don’t want that. It isn’t fair to her - it’s been wonderful for her. Plus I love the idea and thought of her being with him and others ( if it should come to that).

She’s regained self confidence and self anssurance. She smiles more she’s happy as she feels desired by someone other than me. All this and more. I love everything it’s done for the two of us yet I have this worry which is more than simple angst.

Thanks for letting me share this I am open to any suggestions anyone may offer

I know where you are. These are some of the truths I tell myself to deal with it:

- her lover is a human being with flaws and defects, just like myself
- she loves me more, not less, and wishes to stay with me more, not less, because I support her in doing what gives her pleasure
- her lover envies me, because I am married to such a hot and sexy woman (an actual quote that Carla shared with me )
- the angst is part of it. Embrace it as part of the overall satisfying package.

Your comments above are spot on and very helpful - I know all those four points above to be true - I know she sees him for the pleasure it provides her - my points about the self assurance and confidence it brings her is important to her and to me. I’ll do my best to remember your points above - those are definitely meaningful - One thing I am certain of ( if one can be certain of anything is she’s a monogamous hotwife. She’s not going to have sex with a guy just for the sex. While she’s an amazing lover she’s repeated over and over I/m not going to just screw a guy for the sex, there has to be an attachment. I’ve come to accept that -by keeping your four points in mind I can accept that and believe her.

Thanks for your comments - they’re very helpful

[steveb713]

I will say we have been married for 16 years and the first 5 were just her and me the sex was great between us and we had our family a boy and a girl in those 5 years every thing was great until it all went wrong,
She had an affair with a guy from work it only lasted 3 months before I became aware of it a woman can be very good at keeping a secret,
She stopped it after 3 months and if the guy hadn't been such an asshole I might have never known about it to her it was just a fling that she never thought would happen we were happy together were had our family everything was just the way we wanted,
Then I got a phone call that shattered my world it was her partner in crime the guy who had been fucking my wife the mother of our children for the last three months,
He told me that he was having an affair with her and they were in love and she was going to leave me and they had plans to move away and be together,
I was devastated I couldn't believe it I sat at home waiting for her coming home from work getting more and more worked up about it ,
When the door opened and she walked into the kitchen she knew immediately something was wrong just by looking at my face ,I told her about the phone call her face went white and she couldn't deny it so she confessed, anyway I will tell the full story if you want ,
Needless to say we worked through it as we are still together and we are tighter as a couple than ever,but it was a wakeup call to me she needed more she was a sexual being,
Six months later we were in a hotel room with another guy and I watched her have sex with someone else she never looked sexier as he slipped his hard cock into her wet pussy and I never loved her more as she squealed when he came deep in her pulsating pussy,
That was our start into shearing, what I'm trying to say is even conventual couples can have problems,
She never meets a guy more than twice so there can be no emotional feelings other than just the sex of course there is emotion at the time and if he is good at turning her on she gives herself totally to him as long as it lasts,
We are more in love than ever I give her the freedom to Express her true nature and we keep our relationship alive,
All the angst is worth it and the angst is still as strong as ever I have never got used to it but enjoy that part of it for as long as it lasts you never know when a woman will say that's it it's over I don't want to do this anymore and you will be back to a monogamous marriage and I know you will miss the angst it's like a drug you begin to crave it it's worth the worry you have about your wife being sexually satisfied by another man,
Keep in touch I would love to know how your sharing life progresses, good luck,

Thanks for your comments, they’re meaningful. Especially your point about how you managed to reconcile after her affair which, I understand can shatter one. That speaks volumes of your love for her and her for you.

It’s points like yours and others that make this forum so valuable to me ( and others ) - I’ve taken to heart much of what you’ve said. Especially learning to embrace the angst and trust that my wife loves me and wants us to be together - Its been hard for me to accept the Ying and the Yang. I want her to enjoy the sex - I want to enjoy her having the sex. We both win when that happens

[wifewatcher 2]

Let her enjoy herself but make sure you enjoy it to,

[steveb713]

Let her enjoy herself but make sure you enjoy it to,

That’s what I’m seeking. The reality is I enjoy it but it eats at me with anxiety and jealousy. That’s been the whole problem.
Moreover, she’s aware of it as I take some of my craziness out on her which ruins it for her and me.

I am doing my best to work through that so we can both enjoy the benefits. The last thing I want Is to spoil it for her.

[wifewatcher 2]

That is something you must not do take your anxiety and jealousy out on your wife that will lead to disaster either she will decide not to do it anymore or decide to do it but not tell you,
Jealousy and anxiety is all part of the angst you will feel you have to get it under control it's hard I know but if you are to survive this you have to focus on the positives and keep the negatives at bay,
Do you go on dates with your wife or sit at home and have you joined in with her as she is with another man,
Does she come home after or does she spend the night or even longer as in a few days,

[steveb713]

That is something you must not do take your anxiety and jealousy out on your wife that will lead to disaster either she will decide not to do it anymore or decide to do it but not tell you,
Jealousy and anxiety is all part of the angst you will feel you have to get it under control it's hard I know but if you are to survive this you have to focus on the positives and keep the negatives at bay,
Do you go on dates with your wife or sit at home and have you joined in with her as she is with another man,
Does she come home after or does she spend the night or even longer as in a few days,

I’m aware of the need to get my emotions under control. Overall the positives outweigh the negatives though I need to work for that to happen.
I do not go on dates with her. To be clear she’s only been with with this one guy that she chose. She’ll spend maybe three hours total with him. She says the sex is good which maybe lasts half an hour. She’ll spend another hour or so chatting etc.
she’s very comfortable with him. Thinking. Rationally I don’t see her interested him beyond the occasional sexual meet up.

I definitely derive pleasure from her being with him as i know she does as well.

[steveb713]

That is something you must not do take your anxiety and jealousy out on your wife that will lead to disaster either she will decide not to do it anymore or decide to do it but not tell you,
Jealousy and anxiety is all part of the angst you will feel you have to get it under control it's hard I know but if you are to survive this you have to focus on the positives and keep the negatives at bay,
Do you go on dates with your wife or sit at home and have you joined in with her as she is with another man,
Does she come home after or does she spend the night or even longer as in a few days,

I’m aware of the need to get my emotions under control. Overall the positives outweigh the negatives though I need to work for that to happen.

I do not go on dates with her. To be clear she’s only been with this one guy that she chose. They’ll usually see one another every 2-4 weeks for a few hours. She’ll spend maybe two-three hours total with him. The sex itself might last at most half a hour she says. She says the sex is good though not great. Is she saying that for my benefit? She knows I’m very turned on by hearing everything they do.

She says my dick is harder and bigger than his.
Rationally I don’t see her interested him beyond the occasional sexual meet up though she likes him and is comfortable with him otherwise she’d not be with him. I’m aware this relationship makes her happy. It’s with that in mind I want her to continue it.

I definitely derive pleasure from her being with him as i know she does as well that’s why I don’t want her to stop seeing him. I’m positive without her being with him periodically our sex life wiuld become more vanilla. This lifestyle has added a wonderful added dimension to our sex life and marriage.