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Wife’s first non sexual date tonight
Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2024 6:17 am
by Ygt hubby
Wife going on date tonight. We have been in this lifestyle for about 2 years and things were rough at first. This is detailed in the Thread Our journey of discovery.
So my wife is going out on her first non-sexual date tonight.
My anxiety is already high as I’m not the biggest fan of the guy she is going with. They have already played together in the past and she was good with his performance. This is more of a social thing tonight.
They are going to a kink gathering at a well known restaurant it is supposed to be a meet and greet thing with like minded people.
The guy and I clashed when we had our meet and greet with him more than a year ago. We have very different personalities but are both alpha males. So as you can imagine we both are very strong personalities.
The only reason I have let thing’s continue at all in any manner is because I love my wife and respect my wife’s decision making.
When he told her where he was going she asked if he wanted her to be his date for the evening. So I know she really wants to do this or she wouldn’t have asked.
Her and I have what we call the 24/7 rule if either one of us has a problem with a situation we voice it on one day.
Then if the situation can’t be resolved to that person’s satisfaction with in a week then that activity stops.
We both have access to this rule at anytime.
My plan is to just play it cool and see how things play out. I’m sure things will be fine it’s just nerve wracking to think about it.
I’m just wondering who else has had a date that the wife has been on that was non-sexual in nature. But the wife has already had sex in the past with the guy.
Any feedback welcome.
Re: Wife’s first non sexual date tonight
Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2024 7:49 am
by parklife
Hey Ygt… I’m not familiar with your story, but I’ll search it up and catch up. The other caveat I’ll say is that I’m not in a stag/vixen relationship (more Hotwife whatever that means)… but I do have a wife that has bee on non sexual dates with someone she’s also having a sexual relationship with.
My wife and her last FWB, had both sexual dates and normal going out (which didn’t start sexual but often ended sexual with some car play). I knew him (we started in the same role at the same company about 15 years prior and the three of also worked together though he and I were at one company and my wife was a supplier of ours). So, my relationship with him started as friends. He thought my wife was cheating on me and perhaps that’s what started the negative feelings but eventually, I came to really dislike the guy. They were together for about two and a half years…. To me, I focused on the down times or negative parts that arose. For my wife, she’d be upset with him at time but the wanted to see him again. By the end, I had a true dislike and she was still interested in him socially and sexually. I kind of just dealt with it. He changed jobs so my interaction was limited and that’s probably LY what made it work: I didn’t have to see him in the office anymore. He was part of a supper club and he invited my wife to it one time. At first she was a little unsure but I could tell she really wanted to go. She did and met one of his friends that night. He was married and cheating on his wife, not sure who this friend thought my wife was but it was a coursed out meal over a few hours… maybe 35-40 people as part of this subscription social supper club. She also had gone golfing with him for a late afternoon twighlight round at a local golf course. They did a dinner date every 6 weeks or so.
She was on plenty of social non-sexual dates but nearly every time (thinking on it, it may have been about 90% of th time) those non-sexual dates wound up with them having some type of sex before she came home. They had a LOT of car fun and they would take a detour before she returned home. Even when she said before she left, “we’re not having sex tonight”, she’s return with that Chester grin that told me otherwise.
The wife is going to like who she likes and I can bitch and moan about it but ultimately we (my wife and I) do it for her enjoyment…. I don’t need to be a fan…
(Again, not the same situation as a stag/vixen, but you did say any feedback was welcome)
Re: Wife’s first non sexual date tonight
Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2024 8:26 am
by Wesley Hudson Valley
Hello, YGT Hubby:
Kelly here Hotwife married to Wesley.
Give your wife credit for her judgment and decisions. You might be overthinking this and her date might turn out quite well.
Be supportive of her before she goes on her date and keep your anxiety to yourself. If you need to vent in this forum and I wish your wife and her date well
Please keep us updated
Re: Wife’s first non sexual date tonight
Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2024 8:48 am
by Ygt hubby
parklife wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 7:49 am
Hey Ygt… I’m not familiar with your story, but I’ll search it up and catch up. The other caveat I’ll say is that I’m not in a stag/vixen relationship (more Hotwife whatever that means)… but I do have a wife that has bee on non sexual dates with someone she’s also having a sexual relationship with.
My wife and her last FWB, had both sexual dates and normal going out (which didn’t start sexual but often ended sexual with some car play). I knew him (we started in the same role at the same company about 15 years prior and the three of also worked together though he and I were at one company and my wife was a supplier of ours). So, my relationship with him started as friends. He thought my wife was cheating on me and perhaps that’s what started the negative feelings but eventually, I came to really dislike the guy. They were together for about two and a half years…. To me, I focused on the down times or negative parts that arose. For my wife, she’d be upset with him at time but the wanted to see him again. By the end, I had a true dislike and she was still interested in him socially and sexually. I kind of just dealt with it. He changed jobs so my interaction was limited and that’s probably LY what made it work: I didn’t have to see him in the office anymore. He was part of a supper club and he invited my wife to it one time. At first she was a little unsure but I could tell she really wanted to go. She did and met one of his friends that night. He was married and cheating on his wife, not sure who this friend thought my wife was but it was a coursed out meal over a few hours… maybe 35-40 people as part of this subscription social supper club. She also had gone golfing with him for a late afternoon twighlight round at a local golf course. They did a dinner date every 6 weeks or so.
She was on plenty of social non-sexual dates but nearly every time (thinking on it, it may have been about 90% of th time) those non-sexual dates wound up with them having some type of sex before she came home. They had a LOT of car fun and they would take a detour before she returned home. Even when she said before she left, “we’re not having sex tonight”, she’s return with that Chester grin that told me otherwise.
The wife is going to like who she likes and I can bitch and moan about it but ultimately we (my wife and I) do it for her enjoyment…. I don’t need to be a fan…
(Again, not the same situation as a stag/vixen, but you did say any feedback was welcome)
Thank you for some insight into your experience. I don’t really pay much attention to the stag/vixen, Hotwife/cuck labels.
I kind of just figure we are all sharing our spouses either for their pleasure or for our kinks. It just seems like we’re all kindred spirits in this lifestyle experience.
Not liking everybody she likes is definitely a true statement, I try to give her her space to experience everything the way she wants to and try to keep my whining to her at a minimum. LOL
And yes, I’m sure there will be some fooling around in the car afterwards as she loves to go down on guys in fact, just the other night she met a guy and they did it in the backseat of her car
She can be a real bad girl when she wants to get some LOL
Thanks again really nice to hear from somebody. That’s had a kind of similar experience. It’s nice to make some friends.
Re: Wife’s first non sexual date tonight
Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2024 2:04 pm
by Ygt hubby
Wesley Hudson Valley wrote: ↑Thu Oct 24, 2024 8:26 am
Hello, YGT Hubby:
Kelly here Hotwife married to Wesley.
Give your wife credit for her judgment and decisions. You might be overthinking this and her date might turn out quite well.
Be supportive of her before she goes on her date and keep your anxiety to yourself. If you need to vent in this forum and I wish your wife and her date well
Please keep us updated
Kelly thank you so very much for posting I have learned so much about this lifestyle on this site from reading what all the hotwives post. It truly is an honor to have your input.
I definitely overthink everything lol my wife is an amazing woman I trust her and know if she says things a going to be ok then I believe in her.
One of the things I have learned from the wonderful people on this site is first and foremost that communication is key to making this work. And the other thing is that I should never lay my anxiety on her as she needs me to be the rock for her and support her in this journey.
Thank you again
Hope to hear from you again sometime
Re: Wife’s first non sexual date tonight
Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2024 4:10 pm
by Ygt hubby
She is out with him now I’m just guessing having dinner and conversation.
I’m keeping my anxiety under control. Her and I talk about everything together she read what I posted on here and told me that she understood my feelings. But I shouldn’t give it a second thought because for her she was just looking at tonight as dinner and sex nothing beyond that it’s just something to do on a Thursday night. LOL
And to think that I was getting anxious and to her it’s as normal as going to the grocery store.
What an incredible woman I have the privilege to be married to.
Re: Wife’s first non sexual date tonight
Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2024 6:57 am
by Wesley Hudson Valley
Hello Ygt hubby
How did your wife’s date go? Did she come home happy ?
Just a side note more husbands are seeing the benefits and open to having their wife date another man. Kelly
Re: Wife’s first non sexual date tonight
Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2024 7:50 am
by Ygt hubby
Wesley Hudson Valley wrote: ↑Fri Oct 25, 2024 6:57 am
Hello Ygt hubby
How did your wife’s date go? Did she come home happy ?
She came home pretty late I was asleep I barely remember her coming in.
I’ll get to see her later today hopefully she will fill me in on the details, much anticipated on my part.
I know for sure that if they had sex she will be happy as he is very well endowed ( long and much girth ).
I’ll be sure to post later once I get the low down.
I’m definitely on board with this lifestyle for us. It makes her happy and that makes me happy. And like I have told her this lifestyle was a gift from me to her for various reasons and I will NEVER take it away from her.
I deal with being bi-polar with depression and anxiety so sometimes my emotions are off the charts. So she deals with me and an autistic teenager works full time and takes care of our family. She is an absolute sweetheart so this lifestyle provides her with a reward kinda for it all.
She loves me wholeheartedly of that I have no doubt.
I will stand by her through anything.
Re: Wife’s first non sexual date tonight
Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2024 11:37 am
by parklife
Sounds great Ygt.. I’m amazed you could sleep…. I’ve fallen asleep while my wife was out but as soon as she returns it’s like I’ve had a lot of espresso and I’m banging off the ceiling.
If you’re bi-polar with depression and anxiety, I’m amazed you’ve found this lifestyle to work for you. You certainly seem in a great place right now and so happy for you. Whatever works, keep it going and look forward to keeping up to date.
Re: Wife’s first non sexual date tonight
Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2024 6:08 am
by Ygt hubby
Finally got a chance to write.
My wife’s date went well she got to spend some quality time with her FWB they went to a kink gathering. She said it was mostly BDSM and poly and a couple of daddy/don’s.
So she got to meet a bunch of new people and spend time together with her guy.
She said a couple of people there didn’t know what a hotwife/vixen was so between the bdsm and hotwife crowd it was a good exchange of info from both sides.
Her and “J” her FWB had a good time and on the way home they stopped and she gave him a BJ in the car and then they found a nice quiet place outside and had sex. Nothing earth shattering but as she said it was something to do on a Thursday night. Lol
Re: Wife’s first non sexual date tonight
Posted: Sat Oct 26, 2024 6:45 am
by Ygt hubby
parklife wrote: ↑Fri Oct 25, 2024 11:37 am
Sounds great Ygt.. I’m amazed you could sleep…. I’ve fallen asleep while my wife was out but as soon as she returns it’s like I’ve had a lot of espresso and I’m banging off the ceiling.
If you’re bi-polar with depression and anxiety, I’m amazed you’ve found this lifestyle to work for you. You certainly seem in a great place right now and so happy for you. Whatever works, keep it going and look forward to keeping up to date.
Park life thank you for commenting. I had a little extra help with the sleeping part. Lol
Otherwise, I would’ve been awake until she got home
My mental health issues have been quite the issue when we started this lifestyle, but I promised her that I would never take this away from her and whatever I needed to do to work through it in my head to make it work I was gonna do for her. I have a wonderful relationship with her and she helps me get through things I have issues with. This is how I know that her devotion to me is unconditional.
I always want to keep my mental health issues as part of my story as it may help someone else who is dealing with the same issues. I hope it helps them to know that they can do this too if they are willing to put in the work.
Thank you for the kind words.