Our Hotwives

Hi all, we are a l couple from the south of US, living in one of the biggest cities in the country. We are both healthcare professionals and we lead busy lifes.

We have been married for 15 years and we have two grade school kids. We have always been very passionate and wild lovers. This may have cooled down a bit after our children came into equation. In part due to work responsibilities and lack of free time also.

I have always worshipped my wife. I believe she is the most beautiful woman in the world. And perhaps deep inside dream about sharing her as well. This has been present for a long time and never acted on. However, over the last few years these feelings became stronger. And they were taken into overdrive recently since I have been reading about this lifestyle.

Like many men do I suppose, I did overshare talking to her about it for the first time, which was about a year and a half ago. At that time I encountered the usual questions with regard to her concerns about my fidelity and her feeling left alone, given away, rented out, whichever one may call it, and losing the special connection and bond that loyalty and exclusivity gives us. Interestingly, however, when I mentioned the possibility of hiring a male escort to explore the idea of her having sex with another, she was not opposed. She was curious as if weighing logistics in her mind. Nevertheless, the discussion ended up on agreeing that this would not be something that we would pursue at this time, and the topic was pretty much closed and I have never brought it up again.

She wasn't upset, or angry, or disgusted, and as a matter of fact, we did have wild sex for a few weeks afterwards.

Interestingly, she would open up with regard to her fantasies and sharing them with me in bed and make references to having multiple men in bed, fucking her, especially older men in position of power, clearly utilizing the narratives that would facilitate sexual jealousy to fuel passionate sex.

Ever since, virtually every time we have sex, our dirty talk goes into the territory of similar fantasy, of her giving her pussy up to multiple men and me punishing her for that with even rougher fucking.

Since I'm obsessed with the subject and the lifestyle and how this would match our personalities, I keep dropping little hints and quips and jokes regarding her being a promiscuous wife, which she welcomes with a smile and humorous replies.

Predictably, I purchased some lifestyle-themed mugs, very subtle, with no major statements ("It's not cheating when my husband watches" or "hotwife") kind of thing. She laughs about it and uses the mugs.

In the bedroom she's not a fan of toys at all though and kind of ambivalent about larger lifelike penis dildos, and always says that she prefers the real thing. And since my junk is above average size and I make her cum 2-3 times at minimum when we make love then it's hard to argue.

Nevertheless, it does hinder any sort of third party experimentation in the bedroom, which I have read about on the forum.

I'm currently setting up a schedule for us to go on a regular date, at least once or twice a month, which will include dressing up nicely and for her to be as sexy as possible. Which will hopefully we lead to interactions with others, or at least her getting used to being checked out by other men.

As a side information, she's a gorgeous petite brunette with long wavy hair, blue eyes, slende frame with round butt (fitness trainer twice a week) and weights around 115 pounds. If not for her professional attire, she would be constantly hit on, I'm sure. Due to her professional responsibilities she tends to be distant with strangers. She also feels a need to remain appropriate because of that and semi public nature of her (and my) career.

The question would be, I suppose, how to encourage her to become more flirtatious with men and more receptive to their attention, whether in real life or online. Another question I have is whether it is time for me to reach this subject again in a more serious manner and rediscuss her thoughts. This appears to be relevant considering her fantasies, her behaviour in the bedroom and other little signs she showed to me ever since we had that first conversation.

For instance, at my request, she did start to go braless at home and when I bought her ultra tight and sexy, luxurious workout clothes, which literally show impression of her anatomy on the fabric, she actually had no problem using it when she goes to see personal trainer twice a week.

I know she's a passionate lover and I suspect there's a naughty hot wife somewhere under the surface, but I wonder what would be the next best step to tease her out into the light. How to encourage her to be a little slutty? How dismiss concerns about appropriateness etc. She's got a semi public job which may play role in her being cautious but still.

Thoughts?

Thank you and apologize for a lengthy and maybe chaotic post.

"Impression of her anatomy on the fabric"?

Are we talking camel toe and nips poking out?

The way you lay out the constraints, her hard lines are:

1. No risk to public image and profile.

2. No threat to exclusivity and that special bonding between you two.

Her getting into wild fantasy mode since you brought up the topic may be predicated on the relief she felt when you guys decided that this aint no practical thing to pursue in real life. So she has been able to let go in her fantasy life without anxiety.

Now lets come to the plus side:

1. She has seen that you havent pushed things in the last year and a half.'

2. You havent gone out chasing skirts.

3. You havent given her an uncomfortable fait accompli by doing sudden, unplanned things to push the envelope.

Given this foundation of trust, the possible way forward:

1. Try the male escort angle in an anonymous hotel room. New guy + you in bed = multiple men.
Escort, hence no fear of entanglements and breach of that special bonding between you two. Predictability is reassuring for a new and anxious wife in the LS. An escort is predictable and can be asked to do things and commanded not to do certain things.

2. Dont surprise her with the escort thing some bright morning. Rather, make it a sane, level deal. Bring it up during sex play - that this might meet the requirements of her fantasy without the risks involved in bedding other men. Quote some article on the booming male escort culture and how professional, accomplished women in their 40s and 50s are preferring this route these days, over risky affairs! This line of talk may resonate with her.

3. There is another option. A bit less tame and predictable but very powerful if it works out. Women like her, who are actually passionate and hot but have groomed themselves to be prim, proper and controlled, have vulnerabilities. The opposite traits of what they try to project outwardly, are their weak spots.

4. This can be tried when out of town, where no one knows you two... maybe a short vacation.. maybe Vegas kinda naughty getaway..
You may propose that you two push her fantasy theme, in the open, and see where it goes, without any pre-set outcome.
Dress sensuously, provocatively, unlike what she would dare do where people know her.. She trawls the lounges, dance floors and bars with you following discretely. Taking it one step at a time.
The hard boundary being, you always know where she is and never lose line of sight.

At the worst, she will meet some bums and find out that this is too tacky for her. Or she will meet interesting guys but then she loses her nerve and disengages. Or they dance and the guy(s) gets handsy and she feels this is not not for her, the reality of another man's touch.

IF this plays out as I am hoping it would, she might discover the charm of letting go and being the woman she preconsciously wanted to be- but she dare not be in real life. That may lead to all kinds of interesting outcome during that short vacation.

This might stay as a onetime thrill OR a become a semi regular kick to be indulged in, a few times a year..

All the best.

sandy691196 wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 15, 2025 11:57 pm

"Impression of her anatomy on the fabric"?

Are we talking camel toe and nips poking out?

Cameltoe yes, also the pants are bright and extremely well wrapped around her butt and crotch. Nipples somewhat projecting on the fabric, it was designed to conceal that aspect.

She doesn't mind deep cleavage and ALWAYS wears high heels. And out of the box in general all the time.

sandy691196 wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 15, 2025 11:57 pm

1. Try the male escort angle in an anonymous hotel room. New guy + you in bed = multiple men.
Escort, hence no fear of entanglements and breach of that special bonding between you two. Predictability is reassuring for a new and anxious wife in the LS. An escort is predictable and can be asked to do things and commanded not to do certain things.

Any advice on finding one? What to pay attention to? Presumably the higher the price the better?

sandy691196 wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 15, 2025 11:57 pm

At the worst, she will meet some bums and find out that this is too tacky for her. Or she will meet interesting guys but then she loses her nerve and disengages. Or they dance and the guy(s) gets handsy and she feels this is not not for her, the reality of another man's touch.

Yeah, it is my concern as well. Her perception of people in alternative lifestyles is not the best. As in she does believe that they are there mostly because of dissatisfaction with their relationship, don't have enough strength to stay monogamous and work things out etc. I have been looking for resources which would paint a different picture but in a subtle manner, no a Netflix documentary regarding "polyamory" which is an absolute NO for both of us and neither of us believe in that.

sandy691196 wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 15, 2025 11:57 pm

Women like her, who are actually passionate and hot but have groomed themselves to be prim, proper and controlled, have vulnerabilities. The opposite traits of what they try to project outwardly, are their weak spots.

This is my strong suspicion and even conviction. We used to be risque and wild before kids, she would jump on my cock in car parked in front of a busy CVS or we would have sex on the beach and in a hot tub in a non-lifestyle resort around 10 pm when people were still dining and walking around the property..

One thing I really want her to become more comfortable is to receive and seek attention from other men. I think that barrier is the most important to soften. She's always been a class act and I wish she would open up to the idea of looking at other men as disposable pleasure vendors. So to speak.

Is there an online app/service where women can flirt without guys in bondage gear sending them dick pics day one?

Thanks!

Tinder.. no?

But somehow I wouldn't go with the App option for her. She is way too conscious about public image.and exposure.

On an app everyone can see you.

vixenwolfcouple wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 16, 2025 4:20 am

sandy691196 wrote: ↑

Wed Jan 15, 2025 11:57 pm

At the worst, she will meet some bums and find out that this is too tacky for her. Or she will meet interesting guys but then she loses her nerve and disengages. Or they dance and the guy(s) gets handsy and she feels this is not not for her, the reality of another man's touch.

Yeah, it is my concern as well. Her perception of people in alternative lifestyles is not the best. As in she does believe that they are there mostly because of dissatisfaction with their relationship, don't have enough strength to stay monogamous and work things out etc. I have been looking for resources which would paint a different picture but in a subtle manner, no a Netflix documentary regarding "polyamory" which is an absolute NO for both of us and neither of us believe in that.

Polyamory or the emasculating, soul destroying cuck stuff are strict no no.

Hook ups with handsome strangers are not about having "affairs" or about unsatisfactory marriages. They are about just scratching an itch! You can get her to read on the dynamics of the hook up culture and casual sex with no complications.

The escort thing is a sure money shot for first timers like her.

For us, we started with creating an anonymous profile on Adult Friend Finder (I'm sure other apps would also work). We used fake names, no face photos, and nothing that could reveal who we are. We said we were just starting out and might not be ready to meet anyone in person, but we'd enjoy sexy chats and photo sharing. We had lots of takers. I enjoyed posting photos (no faces and all meta data removed so that our location wasn't known) and hearing positive comments back. I also enjoyed flirting via Kik with random strangers. It was safe and anonymous, and let me practice my flirt skills with no danger of being found out.

It took time, but eventually one guy kind of rose to the top. We told him our real first names. We sent face photos. He suggested we meet in person just to see each other. I nervously agreed and we ended up kissing and I gave him a blow job. LOL.

The point is, take things at her pace in a way that feels safe to her and you never know what might happen. And, just to offer a bit of a counterpoint to advice above, I don't think I'd ever ok a male escort. I want to feel wanted. That's the whole point for me. Paying someone to have sex with me would make me feel worse.

My advice is to ask her how she invisions such a thing going down if it were to happen. Sort of talk out the fantasy. What in her mind would be the ideal situation of hooking up with another man, then think about the who, and what would it take to make it happen. Then work on finding the right opportunity.

Would she want you to find the man and create the situation? Does she want to find the man and right time and place? Would she want you there, directing or participating or just watching? Or maybe waiting in a car or at home?

One that I like that has a natural flow to it is to go to a bar/club with lots of people and opportunities to find a man for a one nighter. Let your wife go through the motions as if she were single. When a man hits on her that she likes, she can introduce him to you. She can test and find out how far he wants to take it and whether he meets the requirements: right attitude, good kisser, right body, dick size and can it even get hard under pressure). I like to choose a booth in the corner and make out and feel each other up as my husband keeps watch. You can explain that you are there to find the right man to fuck her in the back seat as you drive the car. Works best if you have a SUV with limo tint, and make sure he meet minimum requirements before he gets into the car!

Lookingforadventure wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 16, 2025 10:34 am

For us, we started with creating an anonymous profile on Adult Friend Finder (I'm sure other apps would also work). We used fake names, no face photos, and nothing that could reveal who we are. We said we were just starting out and might not be ready to meet anyone in person, but we'd enjoy sexy chats and photo sharing. We had lots of takers. I enjoyed posting photos (no faces and all meta data removed so that our location wasn't known) and hearing positive comments back. I also enjoyed flirting via Kik with random strangers. It was safe and anonymous, and let me practice my flirt skills with no danger of being found out.

Thank you for excellent ideas.. also Interesting insight regarding male escort use. Would not have expected that, but I suppose it's because I am a man. Thank you.

mrs_hotwifecplsa wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 16, 2025 12:16 pm

My advice is to ask her how she invisions such a thing going down if it were to happen. Sort of talk out the fantasy. What in her mind would be the ideal situation of hooking up with another man, then think about the who, and what would it take to make it happen. Then work on finding the right opportunity.

Great idea! Thank you!

vixenwolfcouple wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 16, 2025 2:19 pm

Lookingforadventure wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 16, 2025 10:34 am

For us, we started with creating an anonymous profile on Adult Friend Finder (I'm sure other apps would also work). We used fake names, no face photos, and nothing that could reveal who we are. We said we were just starting out and might not be ready to meet anyone in person, but we'd enjoy sexy chats and photo sharing. We had lots of takers. I enjoyed posting photos (no faces and all meta data removed so that our location wasn't known) and hearing positive comments back. I also enjoyed flirting via Kik with random strangers. It was safe and anonymous, and let me practice my flirt skills with no danger of being found out.

Thank you for excellent ideas.. also Interesting insight regarding male escort use. Would not have expected that, but I suppose it's because I am a man. Thank you.

Yah.. But am certain you remember that the escort idea was actually your wife's. When you first brought up the idea, she had said she could only visualize such a thing with an escort..
And to make a lady enter the LS at her own terms, it's wise to listen to what her natural comfort angie is..

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And to make a lady enter the LS at her own terms, it's wise to listen to what her natural comfort angie is..
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Very true. I am not sure if it's time to bring it up again and whether to do it during sex or maybe in a more serious scenario with a glass of wine. I suppose just have to find a right moment.

Like one poster said before, it might be good to bring it up when she is getting off on her multi partner fantasy.
With the hot query- who? how? where?
Finally - "should we talk more on this?"

I have been thinking about all this and two new questions come to my mind..

1. Do women need to feel emotional connection and to what extent does that overlap with "love" and subsequently threatens the marriage?

2. Let's say that we make it happen, she enjoys it and asks for more. Is there a way back to monogamy or is the effort to break those barriers so great that it changes the way woman thinks about herself and marriage forever?

Different women are programmed differently. Some women would get up and run from the bed the moment the bull / FB talks mauling, syruppy stuff!
Other women won't get wet till they "feel" it in the heart.
Some want a series of bulls/FBs .. Some want steady BFs ..even "lovers".

Your lady sounds the committed to primary relationship type.. Who will only play of its casual, purely kinky-physical and transactional..

vixenwolfcouple wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 16, 2025 7:27 pm

I have been thinking about all this and two new questions come to my mind..

1. Do women need to feel emotional connection and to what extent does that overlap with "love" and subsequently threatens the marriage?

2. Let's say that we make it happen, she enjoys it and asks for more. Is there a way back to monogamy or is the effort to break those barriers so great that it changes the way woman thinks about herself and marriage forever?

Every woman is different. Some women need an emotional connection and some women love truly anonymous encounters.
Some women have no problem separating emotional feelings from physical feelings and other women form bods with their sexual partners.

Some women have no problem putting the genie Back in the bottle and some women have thrown away their husbands and families.

sandy691196 wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 16, 2025 9:28 pm

Different women are programmed differently. Some women would get up and run from the bed the moment the bull / FB talks mauling, syruppy stuff!
Other women won't get wet till they "feel" it in the heart.
Some want a series of bulls/FBs .. Some want steady BFs ..even "lovers".

Your lady sounds the committed to primary relationship type.. Who will only play of its casual, purely kinky-physical and transactional..

On the other hand she's very emotional, passionate and possessive so I wonder what would her attitude be. The fact that she did not refuse the idea of an escort and sort of mulled on it for few minutes in terms of arrangement gives me hope.

sandy691196 wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 16, 2025 7:00 pm

Like one poster said before, it might be good to bring it up when she is getting off on her multi partner fantasy.
With the hot query- who? how? where?
Finally - "should we talk more on this?"

This is a fantastic idea.

Another one maybe to write her erotica story, which I did before and put it in the context of the lifestyle and her as main character. Hehe

vixenwolfcouple wrote: ↑

Fri Jan 17, 2025 9:08 pm

sandy691196 wrote: ↑

Thu Jan 16, 2025 9:28 pm

Different women are programmed differently. Some women would get up and run from the bed the moment the bull / FB talks mauling, syruppy stuff!
Other women won't get wet till they "feel" it in the heart.
Some want a series of bulls/FBs .. Some want steady BFs ..even "lovers".

Your lady sounds the committed to primary relationship type.. Who will only play of its casual, purely kinky-physical and transactional..

On the other hand she's very emotional, passionate and possessive so I wonder what would her attitude be. The fact that she did not refuse the idea of an escort and sort of mulled on it for few minutes in terms of arrangement gives me hope.

All the more reason to NOT try that "relationship" route. Your wife is serious and emotional about relationships. She invests a lot into a "relationship"..That's why she has a low opinion on "alternative LS" and stuff.

That's precisely why she showed some interest ONLY in the transactional escort thing. She doesn't want to go the relationship route for casual sex. Trying to get her into that quicksand can have unpredictable consequences.

Her fantasies of multiple men in bed, are about pure sexual variation. No clap trap.

Massage (alternative types - like "tantric" which have sexual implications) and male CSWs may appeal to her.
How about a swinger club. No dating involved.. no complications.. multiple men.. all vetted..

You may commit to just watch and not play yourself since she wouldn't relish sharing you. Your watching itch will get scratched. Her multi partner sex fantasy gets played out.

So, we had another conversation. I did send my wife an erotic story, implying her having a hot-wine date with a handsome businessman after drinks in a bar with me around and watching them in the bar, and then having an encounter in his hotel room followed by driving home and passionate reclamation sex. Initially, she was quite aroused by it, but later in the day, although perhaps the timing for the conversation was not great, she did have an emotional outburst. She said that only psychopaths and sluts are able to separate love from sex and compartmentalize their emotions to that extent, since deprived of empathy. For most women, they do have to have a connection, attachment and affection for their mates who enjoy sex. As such, she considered this completely unrealistic and insane. She emphasized her attachment to one Man at a time.

In addition, the usual argument of feeling discarded, loaned out or offered to somebody else was brought up. I did try my best to explain, without insistence, and emphasized that it's only a fantasy and can easily stay in that realm. She replied that it only could occur in a fantasy when it is placed in the past, where we're not widely committed to each other. Because, as she said, once she's committed, she doesn't enjoy the idea of breaking that loyalty.

She kept saying that she doesn't understand that while I worship her so much, and I do, just on a daily basis, I can still consider allowing her to have sex with somebody else. It puzzles her visibly, and she cannot square that in her mind.


Nevertheless, throughout the day later, we kind of joked about it, asked some more questions like how did they... and ended up wearing very sexy clothes throughout the day and growing braless, which she knows I love, which obviously led to us having passionate sex.

Not sure what to make of that but I suppose for the time being situation in limbo and will leave it alone.

What do you think?

VWC - So far, your desire to share your lovely wife and her arguments are almost identical to my situation w/ Annie. I worship her and she can’t understand why I would want to ‘loan’ her out. Additionally, she has always said she would need an emotional connection.
The farthest we have gotten is Annie sucking the cock of a co-worker and it has been fun to talk about and fantasize ‘if’ the affair had gone further that day and beyond.

I have received good advice on this site that I stubbornly don’t always follow but based on your last post, I would let her bring it up. She might surprise you.
Good luck and enjoy the ride.